Seven weeks (and 3 days) gone already! My tiny baby is now regular baby sized - newborn size now - not least due to a (presumed) growth spurt that meant consumption of endless milk. Tiring. Over for now, I think, but we need some semblance of routine now.
E is just gorgeous, she's sweet and bright and adorable. She's now got chubby cheeks and chubby thighs and her smile is starting to be recognisably in response to people and things.
Her brothers are still gorgeous and wonderful, but boy, they are difficult. Back to school tomorrow and it's a big relief. They are presumably reacting to the adjustment of a baby but they are being very naughty. A lot of their toys have been confiscated for now. They do seem to adore their baby sister - as a baby sister myself I know this will undoubtably change but for now they are very sweet. R is a bit apprehensive about her altogether, he is rather shy. O on the other hand is very keen to look after her and rushes to comfort her or amuse her. I do have to explain that she gets overstimulated easily, but they are only 5. When she is a little older and responds to the boys more I think all three will delight each other.
Feeding is difficult, no routine at all and I find she has times when she wants a tiny feed and other times when she wants lots. Generally she is best in the morning and through the night, and afternoons are often spent with tearful cuddles between frequent feeds. Gina Ford is being revisited tomorrow. Hopefully.
I am to go into work for a couple of "keep in touch" days, mum is to watch E for me. This will be interesting to see, I don't feel just now like I want to return to work until E is at school, but maybe it would be better. I only work 15 hours a week after all. For now I am doing two 2 hour days on consecutive Tuesdays, I'm sure I'll survive.
I sold a number of things on eBay, maternity things. I only made about £15 all in, but postage was covered and I'm rid of them. Very easy, I have my beady eye pealed for anything else I can sell.
And that's how it goes for now.
Monday 24 October 2011
Monday 17 October 2011
Hunger
Hungry, hungry hungry. Baby and me.
E can't get enough to eat. She was sleeping well and coping with eating too much, for a while. But for the last few days: oh dear.
The problems are thus:
1) E is starving, so drinks milk too fast. Even slow teats don't slow her down.
I have bought to date 6 Avent, 5 Tommee Tippee, 2 NUK bottles, 8 Avent teats and 6 NUK teats, as well as 2 replacement sterilisers (gifted steriliser smelt odd)
Avent starter kit: £12
Avent replacement teats: £12
Tommee Tippee starter kit: £12
Avent Microwave steriliser: £10
NUK bottles: £10
NUK teats: £12
Tommee Tippee bottles: £9
Asda steriliser: £12
Avent teats: £4
Avent bottles: £7
Total cost: £100
At first the slow flow Avent or Tommee Tippee were too slow for E's tiny mouth, so we tried fast flow (should've tried in between but daddy was shopping). Fast flow too fast, tried NUK bottles. Brilliant, for a while, so we got NUK teats for Avent bottles. 2 weeks of greatness. E grew, the NUK were too gushy for a stronger sucker. We retried Tommee Tippee and hurrah! Slow flow perfect, more bottles bought, and a steriliser they fitted in as they are non standard size. Good for another 2 weeks, then the sucking defeated them. 10 minute feeds: too fast. Buildup of wind, sore tummy, more food demanded for sore tummy, sickness or crying follows.
I am now a bit demented. Avent slow flow are the current attempt to slow down/avoid wind. The Tommee Tippee make it impossible to feed sitting up, which is a suggested way to avoid wind. Avent work better. We started with them and much expense later are back with them.
And then there's the milk. We had an unsuccessful foray into Hipp Organic milk, which made E sick. £6.97 wasted on formula. We remain back with Aptamil, I need to seek advice on hungry baby or comfort milk.
I think the hunger is false and a mistaken attempt by E to alleviate stomach pain.
Sleep a problem, progressing from happily sleeping in cot rather than bouncy chair to not going to sleep anywhere that isn't a parent. I am exhausted. Gina Ford did not work, her advice on formula is very limited.
I need to stop eating and lose the post baby weight I'm gaining.
Boo to hunger, whatever the cause.
E can't get enough to eat. She was sleeping well and coping with eating too much, for a while. But for the last few days: oh dear.
The problems are thus:
1) E is starving, so drinks milk too fast. Even slow teats don't slow her down.
I have bought to date 6 Avent, 5 Tommee Tippee, 2 NUK bottles, 8 Avent teats and 6 NUK teats, as well as 2 replacement sterilisers (gifted steriliser smelt odd)
Avent starter kit: £12
Avent replacement teats: £12
Tommee Tippee starter kit: £12
Avent Microwave steriliser: £10
NUK bottles: £10
NUK teats: £12
Tommee Tippee bottles: £9
Asda steriliser: £12
Avent teats: £4
Avent bottles: £7
Total cost: £100
At first the slow flow Avent or Tommee Tippee were too slow for E's tiny mouth, so we tried fast flow (should've tried in between but daddy was shopping). Fast flow too fast, tried NUK bottles. Brilliant, for a while, so we got NUK teats for Avent bottles. 2 weeks of greatness. E grew, the NUK were too gushy for a stronger sucker. We retried Tommee Tippee and hurrah! Slow flow perfect, more bottles bought, and a steriliser they fitted in as they are non standard size. Good for another 2 weeks, then the sucking defeated them. 10 minute feeds: too fast. Buildup of wind, sore tummy, more food demanded for sore tummy, sickness or crying follows.
I am now a bit demented. Avent slow flow are the current attempt to slow down/avoid wind. The Tommee Tippee make it impossible to feed sitting up, which is a suggested way to avoid wind. Avent work better. We started with them and much expense later are back with them.
And then there's the milk. We had an unsuccessful foray into Hipp Organic milk, which made E sick. £6.97 wasted on formula. We remain back with Aptamil, I need to seek advice on hungry baby or comfort milk.
I think the hunger is false and a mistaken attempt by E to alleviate stomach pain.
Sleep a problem, progressing from happily sleeping in cot rather than bouncy chair to not going to sleep anywhere that isn't a parent. I am exhausted. Gina Ford did not work, her advice on formula is very limited.
I need to stop eating and lose the post baby weight I'm gaining.
Boo to hunger, whatever the cause.
Thursday 13 October 2011
Sunday 9 October 2011
Greedy girls
All is going well, mostly. We had a few sleepless nights where missy wouldn't settle to sleep on her back, culminating in two nights of her in her bouncy chair all night and then one successful night in her cot after she went to sleep in her bouncer first.
Tonight we did the latter to much success until she awakened to an explosive poo (most of them arrive with an audible pop) and got all confused by the ongoing "there is action in my tummy, I must be hungry" which heightens the "am awake, must eat" thought process.
According to my scales, E is now 7.5lb. As they are correct to half a pound, this isn't that accurate, but she must be over 7lb and so is gaining weight well.
She is rather greedy however, my logic is that her sucking needs/ability, awareness and sleep requirements are that of her age - 5 weeks - but her tummy and digestive systems are that of her adjusted age of one week. So she wants to eat more than she can cope with. Two or three nights of vomiting a feed after bedtime means I have had to consult the health visitor and also get Gina Ford's new edition of her tome. Interestingly, E has almost moved herself towards Ms Ford's ideal routine, but I am a bit unsure as to amounts so I shall start properly following her routine tomorrow.
That won't work as soon as I can't get up at 7am.
I do sympathise with E's hunger, I am suffering from the same thing. I cannot satisfy my hunger and I am rapidly gaining weight. I stand at 1 stone above my prepregnancy weight (and I was but a few pounds above it shortly after E was born), and nearly 2 stones above my ideal size. Most depressingly I am only a little more than a stone less than my heaviest ever. So weightwatchers for me, which I have ostensibly being doing for a month but haven't actually and have gained half a stone in that month. Oops. I intend to eat a lot of soup and less cake. And just be hungry I guess. Drink water. Eat bananas.
Food today. Next time: clothing.
Tonight we did the latter to much success until she awakened to an explosive poo (most of them arrive with an audible pop) and got all confused by the ongoing "there is action in my tummy, I must be hungry" which heightens the "am awake, must eat" thought process.
According to my scales, E is now 7.5lb. As they are correct to half a pound, this isn't that accurate, but she must be over 7lb and so is gaining weight well.
She is rather greedy however, my logic is that her sucking needs/ability, awareness and sleep requirements are that of her age - 5 weeks - but her tummy and digestive systems are that of her adjusted age of one week. So she wants to eat more than she can cope with. Two or three nights of vomiting a feed after bedtime means I have had to consult the health visitor and also get Gina Ford's new edition of her tome. Interestingly, E has almost moved herself towards Ms Ford's ideal routine, but I am a bit unsure as to amounts so I shall start properly following her routine tomorrow.
That won't work as soon as I can't get up at 7am.
I do sympathise with E's hunger, I am suffering from the same thing. I cannot satisfy my hunger and I am rapidly gaining weight. I stand at 1 stone above my prepregnancy weight (and I was but a few pounds above it shortly after E was born), and nearly 2 stones above my ideal size. Most depressingly I am only a little more than a stone less than my heaviest ever. So weightwatchers for me, which I have ostensibly being doing for a month but haven't actually and have gained half a stone in that month. Oops. I intend to eat a lot of soup and less cake. And just be hungry I guess. Drink water. Eat bananas.
Food today. Next time: clothing.
Sunday 2 October 2011
Sicky sicky milk woes
Well, last night was a load of fun! Mega sickness which could be attributed to the cold, but could also be attributed to the change of formula. HiPP organic meant a little spit up at every feed and a couple of bouts of significant sickness. It didn't seem to satisfy her and so you took too much. Aptimel today again and we are back to smaller more frequent (several each day) poos, but not a drop of sick. Which is better.
She has on occasion asked for food after a large feed. The first two times, I indulged with an additional feed, and she threw up. Tonight I offered a few sips of cooled boiled water and that my baby is settled and asleep after just a few sips.
Now. I am told by Dr Google that water is bad for a small baby. I disregard this on the following basis:
Sips? A few sips? Can cause damage... how? I can understand how excess water can cause potential problems, but a few sips?
Formula is made from cooled boiled water + formula. Thus, how can water sans formula be awful? It must be assumed that the occasional sleep deprived parent adds a scoop extra of a scoop less in order for the boys to be collected.
Christ. Tired.
Baby girl perfect at 4 weeks. Mummy getting there.
Just edited this to delete a couple of completely nonsensical sentences:
Tom: phew
Mr muddle if we need it.
They make no sense, and I have no idea what I meant. I vaguely remember typing mr muddle so it's not malicious, like anyone would bother anyway.
No blogging when properly sleep deprived.
She has on occasion asked for food after a large feed. The first two times, I indulged with an additional feed, and she threw up. Tonight I offered a few sips of cooled boiled water and that my baby is settled and asleep after just a few sips.
Now. I am told by Dr Google that water is bad for a small baby. I disregard this on the following basis:
Sips? A few sips? Can cause damage... how? I can understand how excess water can cause potential problems, but a few sips?
Formula is made from cooled boiled water + formula. Thus, how can water sans formula be awful? It must be assumed that the occasional sleep deprived parent adds a scoop extra of a scoop less in order for the boys to be collected.
Christ. Tired.
Baby girl perfect at 4 weeks. Mummy getting there.
Just edited this to delete a couple of completely nonsensical sentences:
Tom: phew
Mr muddle if we need it.
They make no sense, and I have no idea what I meant. I vaguely remember typing mr muddle so it's not malicious, like anyone would bother anyway.
No blogging when properly sleep deprived.
Saturday 1 October 2011
More sniffles, less sleep and being overly worried about safety
Sleep: what I should be doing as Miss E is currently asleep, but as her and I had an epic nap this afternoon, I'm not tired. Well, I'm kinda tired in that I basically have narcolepsy at the moment, but I'm not overly sleepy.
I don't really have narcolepsy, I just can fall asleep uncommonly easily anytime, anywhere. I do fear for E's safety sometimes because of this. As such, she is well accustomed to her cot, that being a "safe" place I can't drop or squash her in, and she will settle and sleep there. Result!!
Decision to return to Aptimil after toying with HiPP Organic. The HO seems grand, E takes more, but is sicky with it and that's not good. Aptimil stays down, even if she likes it less. She does seem unimpressed with milk per se, I think she'd wean tomorrow if she could.
Observation of her digestive functions lead me to the conclusion that she has now the digestive maturity of a brand new baby (I would be 40 weeks today, the official due date) so she will cope with weaning at 5 months at the earliest, 17 weeks from today. Ah well.
Neurosis made me purchase a Buggy Tug, a strap that goes round your wrist and the buggy so if you let go for any reason, the buggy doesn't escape. I heard they existed, I observed that the downwards sloping arcade we walk down each day to school has no barrier at the bottom and exists onto the High Street, I got paranoid, I bought one (£3 or similar). One of the school mums told me her buggy had escaped with her second son and only the quick reaction of another person saved him from going onto the road. Neurosis reassured.
I feel the narcolepsy striking...
I don't really have narcolepsy, I just can fall asleep uncommonly easily anytime, anywhere. I do fear for E's safety sometimes because of this. As such, she is well accustomed to her cot, that being a "safe" place I can't drop or squash her in, and she will settle and sleep there. Result!!
Decision to return to Aptimil after toying with HiPP Organic. The HO seems grand, E takes more, but is sicky with it and that's not good. Aptimil stays down, even if she likes it less. She does seem unimpressed with milk per se, I think she'd wean tomorrow if she could.
Observation of her digestive functions lead me to the conclusion that she has now the digestive maturity of a brand new baby (I would be 40 weeks today, the official due date) so she will cope with weaning at 5 months at the earliest, 17 weeks from today. Ah well.
Neurosis made me purchase a Buggy Tug, a strap that goes round your wrist and the buggy so if you let go for any reason, the buggy doesn't escape. I heard they existed, I observed that the downwards sloping arcade we walk down each day to school has no barrier at the bottom and exists onto the High Street, I got paranoid, I bought one (£3 or similar). One of the school mums told me her buggy had escaped with her second son and only the quick reaction of another person saved him from going onto the road. Neurosis reassured.
I feel the narcolepsy striking...
Friday 30 September 2011
Sleep and sniffles
Baby E is bunged up with a cold - again. Like mother like daughter, cold two in 4 weeks alive seems unfair. She is more stoical with this one, the last cold made her super grumpy, this one she is more cuddly and resigned.
The main problem with the cold is her inability to feed enough to sleep it off. We had just switched to Tommee Tippee bottles and Hipp Organic milk with apparent first day success, the the arrival of the snot rendered the Tommee Tippee redundant and NUK back on the menu. As to the milk, it seems ok but we have a little sick which could be the milk, her age or just mucus related.
And as if by magic, baby awakens for her next feed. Later...
The main problem with the cold is her inability to feed enough to sleep it off. We had just switched to Tommee Tippee bottles and Hipp Organic milk with apparent first day success, the the arrival of the snot rendered the Tommee Tippee redundant and NUK back on the menu. As to the milk, it seems ok but we have a little sick which could be the milk, her age or just mucus related.
And as if by magic, baby awakens for her next feed. Later...
Monday 26 September 2011
Today was the day
I feel strange. It is now 26 September, which is one month after that diabolical day that I attended hospital for a routine appointment and remained for ten days before leaving with my tiny early baby.
More significantly, today is the day that E would have been delivered had all remained stable. This is the day I've been looking to since May.
Instead, I have a bouncing three week old still tiny baby. I cannot fathom why I feel sad/guilty/weird about having her early. This weekend past would have had me stressing, but loading things onto my iPhone, packing nice pjs, organising newborn sized clothes. Nice planning. And today I would have had the section. Which isn't pleasant really, other than the amazing moment of meeting the baby.
E is unaware of this, of course, and is happily adhering to the behaviour expected of a three week old.
She cries more loudly and frequently. Tears are down to hunger, nappy changes and a new addition for three weeks: not being allowed to sleep exclusively on mummy's chest. She mostly feeds well but I have a dilemma of no perfect bottle yet. NUK has proven most successful, the next size bottles of, which she will need as soon as she takes more than 4oz each feed, don't fit in the steriliser. We have an array of Avent things (including the steriliser) but she doesn't get on with the teats. Small ones are too hard work, larger ones are too messy. We have mostly NUK teats on Avent bottles at the moment and they are kind of leaky. Tommee Tippee may be the answer, but we're not there yet.
O was home with a cold today. I am exhausted from sheer lack of sleep. 8pm bedtime for me tonight I think!!
Oh, and my wound is infected, I now need an antibiotic, despite the nurse insisting it was clean.
I need a holiday. Or a maternity nurse. Or a cleaner. Or all of the above.
More significantly, today is the day that E would have been delivered had all remained stable. This is the day I've been looking to since May.
Instead, I have a bouncing three week old still tiny baby. I cannot fathom why I feel sad/guilty/weird about having her early. This weekend past would have had me stressing, but loading things onto my iPhone, packing nice pjs, organising newborn sized clothes. Nice planning. And today I would have had the section. Which isn't pleasant really, other than the amazing moment of meeting the baby.
E is unaware of this, of course, and is happily adhering to the behaviour expected of a three week old.
She cries more loudly and frequently. Tears are down to hunger, nappy changes and a new addition for three weeks: not being allowed to sleep exclusively on mummy's chest. She mostly feeds well but I have a dilemma of no perfect bottle yet. NUK has proven most successful, the next size bottles of, which she will need as soon as she takes more than 4oz each feed, don't fit in the steriliser. We have an array of Avent things (including the steriliser) but she doesn't get on with the teats. Small ones are too hard work, larger ones are too messy. We have mostly NUK teats on Avent bottles at the moment and they are kind of leaky. Tommee Tippee may be the answer, but we're not there yet.
O was home with a cold today. I am exhausted from sheer lack of sleep. 8pm bedtime for me tonight I think!!
Oh, and my wound is infected, I now need an antibiotic, despite the nurse insisting it was clean.
I need a holiday. Or a maternity nurse. Or a cleaner. Or all of the above.
Thursday 22 September 2011
Zzzz zzzz
E has the cold. E has slept badly and been grumpy since Sunday night, coinciding badly with hubby's return to work on Monday.
Tired much.
But I don't mind much, even though I may be a danger when out and about. Not being a great sleeper, spending nights cuddling my gorgeous wee girl isn't a hardship.
E continues to astonish with her alertness and general brilliance. I fear I may be experiencing first born syndrome with my first singleton, purely because I have time to sit and cuddle her and simply watch her be. The twins, while amazing and gorgeous also, were both overwhelming and a duo, so I could not just watch and cuddle them incessantly.
I am tired though. I cannot go to bed early. This makes me stupid, I know this. I don't change though. Bedtime is currently about midnight however which is a vast improvement on usual. Usual doesn't however normally have me awake 3 till 5.
Monday is the day I expected E to be born. I may feel more balanced after it has passed. Maybe.
And now, to sleep perchance to dream.
Tired much.
But I don't mind much, even though I may be a danger when out and about. Not being a great sleeper, spending nights cuddling my gorgeous wee girl isn't a hardship.
E continues to astonish with her alertness and general brilliance. I fear I may be experiencing first born syndrome with my first singleton, purely because I have time to sit and cuddle her and simply watch her be. The twins, while amazing and gorgeous also, were both overwhelming and a duo, so I could not just watch and cuddle them incessantly.
I am tired though. I cannot go to bed early. This makes me stupid, I know this. I don't change though. Bedtime is currently about midnight however which is a vast improvement on usual. Usual doesn't however normally have me awake 3 till 5.
Monday is the day I expected E to be born. I may feel more balanced after it has passed. Maybe.
And now, to sleep perchance to dream.
Sunday 18 September 2011
2 weeks to go...
Hmm. The health visitor visited on Thursday and while she was suitably appreciative of E's notable genius and general wellbeing, I feel a little narked. Not at the HV herself, she was very nice, but at the "preterm" thing.
E was delivered at 36 weeks (almost, a day short) at the recommendation of the obstetricians. 36 weeks is enough time for a baby to mature. 37 weeks, one week later, is considered full term.
Now, E is considered preterm. By one week according to the above. No. 4 weeks. So everything she is expected to achieve and all her checks etc are "adjusted" by 4 weeks and it will be as if she had been born on her due date. She doesn't graduate off the preterm growth charts until she is 6 weeks old at what would have been 42 weeks. Her immunisations follow her actual age thankfully, otherwise she is currently -2 weeks old, which doesn't help the whole making sense of it all in the raddled old head.
She is perfect though, and is eating for Britain (if there ever was a need to suck milk for one's country) as well as being astonishingly aware and alert. Small downside of her apparent early growth spurt (she would be gaining fat at a rate of noughts in utero right now, and fat she is certainly lacking) is the frequency with which she wishes to feed.
And poo. Ten or so dirty nappies a day, HV says it is because she is early and it should rectify by E's due date.
Due date. So much is pinned on that:
E will reach "normal" weight and will cease to struggle with feeding enough, temperature etc.
I shall feel normal about her being here.
I shall be normal shaped (if be-uddered).
BP update: is measuring NORMAL. Wooooo!! And that's not even a touch sarcastic. Now on extra high doses of drugs, concerned BP may drop TOO much now. We'll see.
Tried E out in her baby sling, she liked it a lot although I wasn't convince she was safe in it an constantly checked she was breathing. She was, it is safe. It doesn't feel it though.
Insomnia is a thing of the past. If I lie down, I go to sleep. Any time. Awakeness is decreed by awakened offspring.
Night all.
E was delivered at 36 weeks (almost, a day short) at the recommendation of the obstetricians. 36 weeks is enough time for a baby to mature. 37 weeks, one week later, is considered full term.
Now, E is considered preterm. By one week according to the above. No. 4 weeks. So everything she is expected to achieve and all her checks etc are "adjusted" by 4 weeks and it will be as if she had been born on her due date. She doesn't graduate off the preterm growth charts until she is 6 weeks old at what would have been 42 weeks. Her immunisations follow her actual age thankfully, otherwise she is currently -2 weeks old, which doesn't help the whole making sense of it all in the raddled old head.
She is perfect though, and is eating for Britain (if there ever was a need to suck milk for one's country) as well as being astonishingly aware and alert. Small downside of her apparent early growth spurt (she would be gaining fat at a rate of noughts in utero right now, and fat she is certainly lacking) is the frequency with which she wishes to feed.
And poo. Ten or so dirty nappies a day, HV says it is because she is early and it should rectify by E's due date.
Due date. So much is pinned on that:
E will reach "normal" weight and will cease to struggle with feeding enough, temperature etc.
I shall feel normal about her being here.
I shall be normal shaped (if be-uddered).
BP update: is measuring NORMAL. Wooooo!! And that's not even a touch sarcastic. Now on extra high doses of drugs, concerned BP may drop TOO much now. We'll see.
Tried E out in her baby sling, she liked it a lot although I wasn't convince she was safe in it an constantly checked she was breathing. She was, it is safe. It doesn't feel it though.
Insomnia is a thing of the past. If I lie down, I go to sleep. Any time. Awakeness is decreed by awakened offspring.
Night all.
Tuesday 13 September 2011
Day 11
They don't count the date of birth, the following day is day one, so today is day 11.
This means:
No midwife visit today, I am deemed capable and recovered and Day 10 marked the end of the daily midwife checks. On Thursday I am to be vetted, sorry, visited for a catch up, by the Health Visitor which is always a joy. And also my GP for the old blood pressure, which at present stands at high but normal.
Last night was better, we have two wake ups for feeding, last night it was midnight and 3am, which was fine, with her next cries at 7am when we need to be up anyway. E cries very little, a few cries to alert us to her needing food, and more grunts in response to dirty nappies etc. Grunts and sighs and squeaks are her first line of getting attention, crying is reserved for desperation at the slowness of a parent. This is lovely, long may it last. Newborns "should" cry a lot more.
We do still have teething ahead.
I have four more days, plus the weekend, of paternity leave and having a partner in nappies. When he goes back to work next Monday I shall be a little lost. I am having a practice of doing the morning routine on my own (failure this morning as missy urinated all over her clothes mid nappy change, requiring a clean up and a complete change, so daddy had to take over toast spreading and distribution).
I haven't done the school run yet. I may go up for them today (with their daddy, not alone). I now feel non bonkers enough to speak to people without crying so it should be ok. Most notably, I can walk there. Woo.
This means:
No midwife visit today, I am deemed capable and recovered and Day 10 marked the end of the daily midwife checks. On Thursday I am to be vetted, sorry, visited for a catch up, by the Health Visitor which is always a joy. And also my GP for the old blood pressure, which at present stands at high but normal.
Last night was better, we have two wake ups for feeding, last night it was midnight and 3am, which was fine, with her next cries at 7am when we need to be up anyway. E cries very little, a few cries to alert us to her needing food, and more grunts in response to dirty nappies etc. Grunts and sighs and squeaks are her first line of getting attention, crying is reserved for desperation at the slowness of a parent. This is lovely, long may it last. Newborns "should" cry a lot more.
We do still have teething ahead.
I have four more days, plus the weekend, of paternity leave and having a partner in nappies. When he goes back to work next Monday I shall be a little lost. I am having a practice of doing the morning routine on my own (failure this morning as missy urinated all over her clothes mid nappy change, requiring a clean up and a complete change, so daddy had to take over toast spreading and distribution).
I haven't done the school run yet. I may go up for them today (with their daddy, not alone). I now feel non bonkers enough to speak to people without crying so it should be ok. Most notably, I can walk there. Woo.
Monday 12 September 2011
Back to me
Well, E is doing well, she is regaining weight after the post birth weight loss (of all babies, not just E). She is also alert, a good colour, content and so on. And the brightest baby ever (since my last ones) obviously.
So, me.
My blood pressure is normalising. Woohoo. It is still high, but it is no longer dangerously so. No more hospital!
My body is a slightly better version of the one I had prepregnancy. Seriously. I apparently don't do the baby weight thing and the ginormous bump is vanishing at an astonishing rate.
We won't talk about the udder and the new added udder of udder. We shall pretend that it's not there and that I wear Spanx for comfort only.
I have had odd compliments on my thinness. While I was having my spinal block given prior to E being delivered, I was pleasantly aware that there was little flabby resistance to the anaesthetist's fingers when he was feeling for my hipbones in order to ascertain my symmetry. He later commented that I had a "nice back" with nothing in the way of the vertebrae. When giving injections to prevent clotting, the midwife complained that I didn't have enough fat on my legs.
I'm not skinny. By a long shot. However, I was gratified in hospital every time the "large" blood pressure cuff had to be replaced by the "medium" one. Most other patients seemed to need the large and I have noted that most ladies seem to have lardy arms in pregnancy. Even skinny ladies.
I am feeling a bit less hormonal now, I managed to do stuff around the house and generally feel more, well, normal. With a cute little baby added in.
So, me.
My blood pressure is normalising. Woohoo. It is still high, but it is no longer dangerously so. No more hospital!
My body is a slightly better version of the one I had prepregnancy. Seriously. I apparently don't do the baby weight thing and the ginormous bump is vanishing at an astonishing rate.
We won't talk about the udder and the new added udder of udder. We shall pretend that it's not there and that I wear Spanx for comfort only.
I have had odd compliments on my thinness. While I was having my spinal block given prior to E being delivered, I was pleasantly aware that there was little flabby resistance to the anaesthetist's fingers when he was feeling for my hipbones in order to ascertain my symmetry. He later commented that I had a "nice back" with nothing in the way of the vertebrae. When giving injections to prevent clotting, the midwife complained that I didn't have enough fat on my legs.
I'm not skinny. By a long shot. However, I was gratified in hospital every time the "large" blood pressure cuff had to be replaced by the "medium" one. Most other patients seemed to need the large and I have noted that most ladies seem to have lardy arms in pregnancy. Even skinny ladies.
I am feeling a bit less hormonal now, I managed to do stuff around the house and generally feel more, well, normal. With a cute little baby added in.
Saturday 10 September 2011
Motherhood the second
Well, from my ponderations of pregnancy, a few things have transpired to be true and a few to be woefully inaccurate.
I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.
No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".
One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!
E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.
And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?
Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.
Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.
Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!
Neck still not sore.
Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.
And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.
I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.
No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".
One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!
E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.
And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?
Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.
Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.
Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!
Neck still not sore.
Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.
And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.
Monday 5 September 2011
Drama on the high BP
Well, baby E's birth went well and then things went pear shaped with my blood pressure. E is amazing, she is well and healthy and her only concerns have been her temperature on the day she was born, and her smallness meaning she can't feed a lot or feed very fast.
She is a delightful baby, very chilled and extraordinarily cute. It is so far much, much easier with one, and I do feel bad for each of the twins that we didn't ever have the one on one interaction that E is getting.
We came out of hospital two days after E's birth, following a battle between me and the staff regarding my blood pressure and the fact that they can't get it down. I was nearly re-admitted this evening, but stood my ground. I still have crazy high bp, but am now taking the pills I took before pregnancy and praying that it goes down. Idiotic behaviour from the docs at the hospital and their inability to accept that a pregnant woman isn't pregnant any more once they have given birth.
I have been very scared of my own demise. Very. Much of today was spent weeping as a a result.
This week is to be spent getting better.
She is a delightful baby, very chilled and extraordinarily cute. It is so far much, much easier with one, and I do feel bad for each of the twins that we didn't ever have the one on one interaction that E is getting.
We came out of hospital two days after E's birth, following a battle between me and the staff regarding my blood pressure and the fact that they can't get it down. I was nearly re-admitted this evening, but stood my ground. I still have crazy high bp, but am now taking the pills I took before pregnancy and praying that it goes down. Idiotic behaviour from the docs at the hospital and their inability to accept that a pregnant woman isn't pregnant any more once they have given birth.
I have been very scared of my own demise. Very. Much of today was spent weeping as a a result.
This week is to be spent getting better.
Friday 2 September 2011
She is here
Baby is here, and she is perfect.
Woke up this morning feeling fine, temperature normal, blood pressure high. Spoke to various doctors and at 11.30 or so I was taken down to theatre. Various preparations were done and then at 12.37 baby E was born by caesarean section at 36 weeks weighing 5 lb 8.5.
She required just to be rubbed in a towel in order to breathe properly at birth, and she has been lying in a hot-cot to raise her temperature, which seems to have worked. She did not require to go to special care and is tucked up in my room with me.
Given how worried I was about her, I am so relieved she had but minor needs. And I seem to be better, so awas necessary and right.
She is perfect and gorgeous. I can't stop just staring at her.
Woke up this morning feeling fine, temperature normal, blood pressure high. Spoke to various doctors and at 11.30 or so I was taken down to theatre. Various preparations were done and then at 12.37 baby E was born by caesarean section at 36 weeks weighing 5 lb 8.5.
She required just to be rubbed in a towel in order to breathe properly at birth, and she has been lying in a hot-cot to raise her temperature, which seems to have worked. She did not require to go to special care and is tucked up in my room with me.
Given how worried I was about her, I am so relieved she had but minor needs. And I seem to be better, so awas necessary and right.
She is perfect and gorgeous. I can't stop just staring at her.
Thursday 1 September 2011
Birth Day in a few minutes... Probably
I appear to be broken. I feel ok, yet my blood pressure remains high (very) despite medicinal intervention for a full week now. Today I have the addition of a slightly raised temperature and an increased white cell count.
Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.
But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.
But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.
So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!
As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.
What do you think?
She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.
One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.
Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.
I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.
One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.
I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.
Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.
Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.
Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.
But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.
But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.
So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!
As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.
What do you think?
She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.
One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.
Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.
I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.
One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.
I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.
Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.
Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
Birth Day - 2 sleeps to go
This time tomorrow I'll be not-going-to-sleep with the thought that I will get up the next day and have my baby girl.
Scary.
Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.
Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.
Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.
I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.
My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.
The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.
Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.
Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.
Scary.
Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.
Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.
Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.
I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.
My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.
The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.
Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.
Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.
Tuesday 30 August 2011
The difference a date makes
Another entry seems to have been eaten, which I put down to my perpetually disappearing Internet connection.
Well. Consultant visit this morning was with my own assigned consultant, who I have seen for precisely five minutes prior to today, all of which were on last Friday.
He reiterated the unlikelihood of the tumour thing they are testing for. I'm more relaxed about that anyway, in the extremely rare case of the condition, knowing about it is the key, managed it is not particularly dangerous.
I am not to be allowed home, despite begging and proclaiming that *this* does not help reduce my blood pressure. Nor do the drugs much actually. But that is another thing altogether. He said he would like to wait till 37 weeks and that I would have to stay here. I cried.
What the consultant did after speaking to me made everything better.
First of all he discharged the noisiest hypochondriac person in the world who was in the bed opposite, restoring peace and commencing the first of my complete change of room mates as they moved onwards to home or labour and new labouring/sickly ladies arrived throughout the day.
Then he returned to me to tell me that we would go for 36 weeks and subject to theatre availability, a section would be booked around that date.
A booking has now been made. For Friday. This Friday. 3 days away. 2 sleeps after tonight. My daughter will be here in less than 3 days and any guilt I feel at curtailing her gestation is assuaged by the belief that her and I are both at danger if we continue. As an incubator my usefulness is shortly to be finished and medical attention would be better provided out of me.
And 36 weeks is pretty much ok, especially for a girl.
I am now very excited and much less freaked out. I did the essentials (bottles, tiny baby size sleepsuits, cot mattress etc) shopping online today, hubby has many collections to make at the weekend as if all goes swimmingly we could feasibly be home on Monday. Woo!
I could still be ill, baby could need special care. We have no guarantees. We shall be optimistic today though.
Another day, another outlook altogether...
Well. Consultant visit this morning was with my own assigned consultant, who I have seen for precisely five minutes prior to today, all of which were on last Friday.
He reiterated the unlikelihood of the tumour thing they are testing for. I'm more relaxed about that anyway, in the extremely rare case of the condition, knowing about it is the key, managed it is not particularly dangerous.
I am not to be allowed home, despite begging and proclaiming that *this* does not help reduce my blood pressure. Nor do the drugs much actually. But that is another thing altogether. He said he would like to wait till 37 weeks and that I would have to stay here. I cried.
What the consultant did after speaking to me made everything better.
First of all he discharged the noisiest hypochondriac person in the world who was in the bed opposite, restoring peace and commencing the first of my complete change of room mates as they moved onwards to home or labour and new labouring/sickly ladies arrived throughout the day.
Then he returned to me to tell me that we would go for 36 weeks and subject to theatre availability, a section would be booked around that date.
A booking has now been made. For Friday. This Friday. 3 days away. 2 sleeps after tonight. My daughter will be here in less than 3 days and any guilt I feel at curtailing her gestation is assuaged by the belief that her and I are both at danger if we continue. As an incubator my usefulness is shortly to be finished and medical attention would be better provided out of me.
And 36 weeks is pretty much ok, especially for a girl.
I am now very excited and much less freaked out. I did the essentials (bottles, tiny baby size sleepsuits, cot mattress etc) shopping online today, hubby has many collections to make at the weekend as if all goes swimmingly we could feasibly be home on Monday. Woo!
I could still be ill, baby could need special care. We have no guarantees. We shall be optimistic today though.
Another day, another outlook altogether...
Monday 29 August 2011
Hospital, day 4
I am sick of being in hospital, I don't feel so feeble and really want to be at home now.
Sadly, that isn't happening soon but as I have been better, I'm now out of my cosy private room and into a ward. Good because I am now permitted afternoon visits so I can see my boys, and also because they have things such as patient fetched coffee and a tv room. Bad because there are other people in it and they are noisy. At least these people are ante natal and don't have crying babies with them.
So. The prognosis. Due to the lack of any pre eclampsia symptoms and the bonkers blood pressure, they have decided that it is essential hypertension (that's high blood pressure) and is highlighted by pregnancy rather than caused by it. I'm not sure what implication this has on treatment, hospital stay or delivery, I have a lot of questions for the docs.
Meantime they are trying to establish a cause, blood pressure does not normally behave like this. First up they eliminate the nasty possibilities so I've got a 24 hour test to rule out the worst possibility (a type of tumour called a Pheochromocytoma) which is incredibly rare but serious so must be eliminated.
Based on that I will be here for another two nights minimum. Sigh. And assuming thats negative, I have no idea what happens next. Many questions.
Baby is still well. I am an emotional wreck.
Sadly, that isn't happening soon but as I have been better, I'm now out of my cosy private room and into a ward. Good because I am now permitted afternoon visits so I can see my boys, and also because they have things such as patient fetched coffee and a tv room. Bad because there are other people in it and they are noisy. At least these people are ante natal and don't have crying babies with them.
So. The prognosis. Due to the lack of any pre eclampsia symptoms and the bonkers blood pressure, they have decided that it is essential hypertension (that's high blood pressure) and is highlighted by pregnancy rather than caused by it. I'm not sure what implication this has on treatment, hospital stay or delivery, I have a lot of questions for the docs.
Meantime they are trying to establish a cause, blood pressure does not normally behave like this. First up they eliminate the nasty possibilities so I've got a 24 hour test to rule out the worst possibility (a type of tumour called a Pheochromocytoma) which is incredibly rare but serious so must be eliminated.
Based on that I will be here for another two nights minimum. Sigh. And assuming thats negative, I have no idea what happens next. Many questions.
Baby is still well. I am an emotional wreck.
Sunday 28 August 2011
And so it goes on
Gah. 36 or so hours in hospital and I don't seem to have progressed any. Finally my bp has stabilised with rather a lot of medication, but I don't feel too well. I wouldn't feel good going home yet.
Trouble is, they keep getting my medication so it works and reduces my bp to just the right level, then when it comes to the next dose at the same amount, it doesn't work so well. So I get more, and the more I get, the less well I feel. Contrarily, the only time I feel well is when my bp rockets.
I have been looking up how healthy babies born at 35 weeks are. Advice ranges from the scary "90% of babies survive at this stage" to the reassuring "most babies born after 34 weeks need no special care". Both my niece and step-nephew were born at 35 weeks and both were absolutely fine and home within days.
Tomorrow will see if the doctors have nailed the medication level and then I can go home and take it easy for as long as possible. I'm not too optimistic though. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be in here and monitored for another week, then baby will be delivered.
We have so much to do before we are ready for baby and whatever happens, I am unlikely to be any use until after she is born. Favours required all round, not least for getting the boys from school (and looking after them while I remain in here) and the logistics of getting everything we need into the house. My parents have cancelled their planned trip to France next week (booked after baby was known to be on her way, I did wonder as to wiseness) which is very nice of them and I hope it doesn't prove unfounded. Well, it'd be nice if it did and baby and I carried on fine until 39 weeks, but it'd be a shame if they had cancelled unnecessarily.
Baby is doing very well, I am pleased to say, and if she is to come early I hope the predictions as to her largeness prove correct. I hope to cook her for longer, but if I cannot then I hope she is well enough developed to be totally well. I will have failed her somewhat when she has done so well and I cannot fulfil the full gestation time. Sigh.
Fears of mortality emerge once more...
Trouble is, they keep getting my medication so it works and reduces my bp to just the right level, then when it comes to the next dose at the same amount, it doesn't work so well. So I get more, and the more I get, the less well I feel. Contrarily, the only time I feel well is when my bp rockets.
I have been looking up how healthy babies born at 35 weeks are. Advice ranges from the scary "90% of babies survive at this stage" to the reassuring "most babies born after 34 weeks need no special care". Both my niece and step-nephew were born at 35 weeks and both were absolutely fine and home within days.
Tomorrow will see if the doctors have nailed the medication level and then I can go home and take it easy for as long as possible. I'm not too optimistic though. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be in here and monitored for another week, then baby will be delivered.
We have so much to do before we are ready for baby and whatever happens, I am unlikely to be any use until after she is born. Favours required all round, not least for getting the boys from school (and looking after them while I remain in here) and the logistics of getting everything we need into the house. My parents have cancelled their planned trip to France next week (booked after baby was known to be on her way, I did wonder as to wiseness) which is very nice of them and I hope it doesn't prove unfounded. Well, it'd be nice if it did and baby and I carried on fine until 39 weeks, but it'd be a shame if they had cancelled unnecessarily.
Baby is doing very well, I am pleased to say, and if she is to come early I hope the predictions as to her largeness prove correct. I hope to cook her for longer, but if I cannot then I hope she is well enough developed to be totally well. I will have failed her somewhat when she has done so well and I cannot fulfil the full gestation time. Sigh.
Fears of mortality emerge once more...
Saturday 27 August 2011
Day two, hospital
Well, I'm still here in the hospital. I don't feel brilliant, my bp is really high without the medication and I feel a bit ick when I've taken the medication. I seem to need to take two types in combination. They're still working out the dose so I'll be here till at least tomorrow, then I'll hopefully be able to get home and come back once a day as an outpatient.
Spoke to doc this morning and he said that if I was 36 or better 37 weeks then he would be inclined just to deliver baby, but 35 weeks - which is what I am today - is just a little early. I don't think they're going to go past 37 weeks so I've only got 2 weeks or so to go unless my bp stabilises brilliantly, which is unlikely. If it doesn't stabilise at all they may deliver sooner, but baby is better off in just now and they will only deliver if I am significantly less well with her in. She would be fine born now, but better the longer she stays.
He also says they're happy to sterilise me while they're doing the section, but I have to be sure. I'm sure! Nobody has remotely queried the fact that I am to have a section so I feel a lot better about that decision. She doesn't actually seem to be breech today but I'm due a scan on Friday to confirm. Even with a section they prefer to know the lie of the baby.
Didn't sleep much through the night with monitoring and feeling guff, but I spent a good hour or three asleep this morning. Quite enjoying peace and quiet and having food brought to my bed, and I don't really feel well enough to be bored. I have my phone and my kindle, but I'd like my three boys here. The wee boys got a bit bored last night which made the big boy have to take them home after half an hour. I've discovered they are allowed in 2-8, not 3-4 and 7-8 like other visitors, and now I'm in a private room they can hopefully draw and let hubby stay a bit longer.
Baby isn't really co-operating when they try and do a trace of her heartbeat. She moves away from the pad, just like O did! He caused undue headaches during traces when I was at this stage with the boys, and his little sister is exactly the same. I now envisage her to be going to be exactly like he was as a baby. R was such a much easier baby, I was sort of hoping for another chilled baby. O is a delightful and more considerate child, so it's not a bad thing, plus we know what actually settled him so we know what to try.
She may not be like O on the outside, just because she's a wriggler. O will be delighted if she is though. Bless. She may be different from either twin, of course. Time will tell.
Spoke to doc this morning and he said that if I was 36 or better 37 weeks then he would be inclined just to deliver baby, but 35 weeks - which is what I am today - is just a little early. I don't think they're going to go past 37 weeks so I've only got 2 weeks or so to go unless my bp stabilises brilliantly, which is unlikely. If it doesn't stabilise at all they may deliver sooner, but baby is better off in just now and they will only deliver if I am significantly less well with her in. She would be fine born now, but better the longer she stays.
He also says they're happy to sterilise me while they're doing the section, but I have to be sure. I'm sure! Nobody has remotely queried the fact that I am to have a section so I feel a lot better about that decision. She doesn't actually seem to be breech today but I'm due a scan on Friday to confirm. Even with a section they prefer to know the lie of the baby.
Didn't sleep much through the night with monitoring and feeling guff, but I spent a good hour or three asleep this morning. Quite enjoying peace and quiet and having food brought to my bed, and I don't really feel well enough to be bored. I have my phone and my kindle, but I'd like my three boys here. The wee boys got a bit bored last night which made the big boy have to take them home after half an hour. I've discovered they are allowed in 2-8, not 3-4 and 7-8 like other visitors, and now I'm in a private room they can hopefully draw and let hubby stay a bit longer.
Baby isn't really co-operating when they try and do a trace of her heartbeat. She moves away from the pad, just like O did! He caused undue headaches during traces when I was at this stage with the boys, and his little sister is exactly the same. I now envisage her to be going to be exactly like he was as a baby. R was such a much easier baby, I was sort of hoping for another chilled baby. O is a delightful and more considerate child, so it's not a bad thing, plus we know what actually settled him so we know what to try.
She may not be like O on the outside, just because she's a wriggler. O will be delighted if she is though. Bless. She may be different from either twin, of course. Time will tell.
Friday 26 August 2011
Peace
Ugh. Have spent most of the day in the recovery ward surrounded by dazed and confused new parents and crying newborns.
Now I am still in post natal, but I have my own room. Quiet at last. No tv though, they are moving to a new hospital in the new year so they haven't got new TVs or set top boxes for the old hospital. Boo. I shall have to use my data allowance heavily... I have 800Mb left this month, new allowance starts in 6 days. So should be ok to watch online tv a bit.
Blood pressure is still kinda high, which is why I'm still here. They are - obviously - not willing to give me the medication that made the pressure crash so much, but the one they're going with doesn't seem to be working. Until they can stabilise it, I'm to stay in. Yawwwn. Although I have to say I don't feel that well and it is therefore reassuring to be here and checked.
Things that can go wrong with high blood pressure:
They are on high alert for pre-eclampsia as that is v bad for pregnant mamas and if I show symptoms of that - protein in urine, floaters in vision, pain in chest - they will deliver baby.
High blood pressure in itself can lead to kidney problems and even placental abruption, so they definitely want to keep an eye on me, and ideally get me settled with regular pressure. Probably with medication if they can get the dose just right.
Oh, it is sooooo nice to be in a quiet room. I am shortly to get another bp check and then supper which I assume is tea and toast. Yum!
Happier now.
Now I am still in post natal, but I have my own room. Quiet at last. No tv though, they are moving to a new hospital in the new year so they haven't got new TVs or set top boxes for the old hospital. Boo. I shall have to use my data allowance heavily... I have 800Mb left this month, new allowance starts in 6 days. So should be ok to watch online tv a bit.
Blood pressure is still kinda high, which is why I'm still here. They are - obviously - not willing to give me the medication that made the pressure crash so much, but the one they're going with doesn't seem to be working. Until they can stabilise it, I'm to stay in. Yawwwn. Although I have to say I don't feel that well and it is therefore reassuring to be here and checked.
Things that can go wrong with high blood pressure:
They are on high alert for pre-eclampsia as that is v bad for pregnant mamas and if I show symptoms of that - protein in urine, floaters in vision, pain in chest - they will deliver baby.
High blood pressure in itself can lead to kidney problems and even placental abruption, so they definitely want to keep an eye on me, and ideally get me settled with regular pressure. Probably with medication if they can get the dose just right.
Oh, it is sooooo nice to be in a quiet room. I am shortly to get another bp check and then supper which I assume is tea and toast. Yum!
Happier now.
Pressure update
Happy joy joy.
First I was given medication to reduce the crazy blood pressure. That didn't work so I was given another type of medication. Shortly afterwards I started to feel rather odd, then I felt very very unwell and like I was going to pass out/die. My blood pressure was now incredibly low, alarms went off, a medical team was summoned and much flappage went on (was quite sure I may die). Turns out the nurse who gave me the second dose didn't realise I'd had the first so I was given a rapid response drug rather than a slow release one. So crazy high blood pressure went to insanely low blood pressure.
Much fluid was given by drip, I had oxygen for a bit with my bed dipped head downwards. Now, 5 hours later, I feel mildly human. I am to stay in at least for tonight, I sincerely hope just for tonight. Not least as for some reason I'm in the recovery ward, alongside lots of post-section people who want to witter on about the experience and whose babies cry a lot.
Baby is hunky dory I am pleased to say, she doesn't seem to be affected. Although since I moved through here they stopped checking her. Why am I not in ante natal?
Answer: no beds, I guess. Still annoying though.
First I was given medication to reduce the crazy blood pressure. That didn't work so I was given another type of medication. Shortly afterwards I started to feel rather odd, then I felt very very unwell and like I was going to pass out/die. My blood pressure was now incredibly low, alarms went off, a medical team was summoned and much flappage went on (was quite sure I may die). Turns out the nurse who gave me the second dose didn't realise I'd had the first so I was given a rapid response drug rather than a slow release one. So crazy high blood pressure went to insanely low blood pressure.
Much fluid was given by drip, I had oxygen for a bit with my bed dipped head downwards. Now, 5 hours later, I feel mildly human. I am to stay in at least for tonight, I sincerely hope just for tonight. Not least as for some reason I'm in the recovery ward, alongside lots of post-section people who want to witter on about the experience and whose babies cry a lot.
Baby is hunky dory I am pleased to say, she doesn't seem to be affected. Although since I moved through here they stopped checking her. Why am I not in ante natal?
Answer: no beds, I guess. Still annoying though.
Under pressure
Uh oh. Well, my routine appointment this morning confirmed a few things:
My blood pressure is crazy high, but I have no other worrying symptoms.
Baby is breech, so I've to be scanned next Friday (woo!!)
Section is now definite (double woo!)
I am being kept in hospital for monitoring, not sure how long this will be for, but at least overnight.
Not happy. I feel fine (although obviously I am relieved they are keeping an eye on me and baby) and it's a Right Pain to be stuck in here. I also stupidly didn't have any breakfast so I'm starving.
More later...
My blood pressure is crazy high, but I have no other worrying symptoms.
Baby is breech, so I've to be scanned next Friday (woo!!)
Section is now definite (double woo!)
I am being kept in hospital for monitoring, not sure how long this will be for, but at least overnight.
Not happy. I feel fine (although obviously I am relieved they are keeping an eye on me and baby) and it's a Right Pain to be stuck in here. I also stupidly didn't have any breakfast so I'm starving.
More later...
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Blinded by the screen (please)
Oh my. As my mind is made up that I want a caesarean section, and my overactive imagination/madness/heart rate monitoring has baby distinctively not head down - whatever the midwife says - I pondered as to how they get a baby out in a section if it's not head down. As I am now at the watch-all-birth-programmes-incessantly stage of pregnancy, I've seen footage of a fair few c-sections, which go as follows:
Cut through outer mother then inner uterus etc and tear membrane. Allow waters to gush out. Grab baby's head and tug until entire baby comes out. Stand by with sucker to clear airways. Snip cord, make sure baby is breathing and something a lot closer to pink than blue.
So, if head isn't first, which I actually have no reason whatsoever to presume (other than it would be useful for argument's sake if baby wasn't cephalic on Friday), what happens?
I did a silly thing to find out. I asked the Internet and found icky YouTube footage of caesarean delivery of transverse lying babies.
Yuk.
Most of the procedure is as above, except the bit where they ease the head out. If there isn't a head there, the surgeon appears to plunge his hand in, rummage around until he finds some part of baby, then tugs on that. Often the head will then be last out, and the baby is invariably more blue when this happens. It does not look nice, thank heavens for the screen that stops visibility to the mother - and father who is forbidden and unwilling to be at the action end.
I console myself that a) obstetricians tend to know what they're doing, b) both twins were breech so were probably head last, there was two sets of limbs etc to be tugged upon, and they were fine and c) there is no reason to think that baby isn't head first.
People do always say that c-sections feel like someone washing dishes inside you, so I guess there's always an element of rummaging. I so don't want to see it happening to me, it does not ever look reassuring. The commentary from the anaesthetist is far nicer.
Incidentally, the babies that come our the conventional route don't look any healthier or less blue and the mum looks considerably less healthy. I have not been put off.
I was asked today if I was hoping baby'd come early and naturally and I said no. But if she did, and it was quick, and therefore successful, then yes I do. What I don't want is an unsuccessful labour.
Baby's a go go this evening!! Whatever position she was in she sure isn't in it any more!
Cut through outer mother then inner uterus etc and tear membrane. Allow waters to gush out. Grab baby's head and tug until entire baby comes out. Stand by with sucker to clear airways. Snip cord, make sure baby is breathing and something a lot closer to pink than blue.
So, if head isn't first, which I actually have no reason whatsoever to presume (other than it would be useful for argument's sake if baby wasn't cephalic on Friday), what happens?
I did a silly thing to find out. I asked the Internet and found icky YouTube footage of caesarean delivery of transverse lying babies.
Yuk.
Most of the procedure is as above, except the bit where they ease the head out. If there isn't a head there, the surgeon appears to plunge his hand in, rummage around until he finds some part of baby, then tugs on that. Often the head will then be last out, and the baby is invariably more blue when this happens. It does not look nice, thank heavens for the screen that stops visibility to the mother - and father who is forbidden and unwilling to be at the action end.
I console myself that a) obstetricians tend to know what they're doing, b) both twins were breech so were probably head last, there was two sets of limbs etc to be tugged upon, and they were fine and c) there is no reason to think that baby isn't head first.
People do always say that c-sections feel like someone washing dishes inside you, so I guess there's always an element of rummaging. I so don't want to see it happening to me, it does not ever look reassuring. The commentary from the anaesthetist is far nicer.
Incidentally, the babies that come our the conventional route don't look any healthier or less blue and the mum looks considerably less healthy. I have not been put off.
I was asked today if I was hoping baby'd come early and naturally and I said no. But if she did, and it was quick, and therefore successful, then yes I do. What I don't want is an unsuccessful labour.
Baby's a go go this evening!! Whatever position she was in she sure isn't in it any more!
Tuesday 23 August 2011
To be consulted
Or am I doing the consulting? Dunno
I shall be having a consultation with my obstetric consultant on Friday, re: the birthing of baby.
Also included is this fortnight's ante natal check, so unless I suddenly start being muchly unwell and/or I swell up, I'll leave worrying about my BP till then.
And so to prepare for the consultant.
I would like my baby to be delivered by elective c-section for the following reasons:
The rate of successful VBAC is somewhere between 34% and 50% - depending what you read - which means at least 50% end in an emergency c-section. At nearly 37 years old, having never been in labour before (I only got as far as stage one of induction with the twins, and nothing began at all) my own chances of a successful VBAC would be less than this.
An emergency section carries the greatest risk to baby and me, as well as having the longest recovery time. The only sure method to avoid an emergency section is to have a planned one.
My pelvis limits labour options, but not as much as my previous c-section. I cannot be induced or helped along hormonally, nor should I have any form of assisted delivery as both of these increase the chance of uterine rupture or general distress on the part of mother or child. Additionally there are time restraints in a VBAC. The trial is abandoned and a section performed in a number of scenarios of an attempted VBAC. So, the chance of an emergency section is pretty damned high.
Reasons I won't be sharing with the consultant:
Supposedly female obstetricians and GPs have a much higher rate of repeat elective sections than the general population. They have the facts and that is the decision they take.
An entirely vacuous and not vote swinging reason, but I am happy with having a definite date to make arrangements around, and not being left to overcook.
With regards to a trial of labour, that involves, well, waiting, trying and a probable emergency section, having put my body through an unsuccessful labour. If I could know it would work, then yes, I would go for it, but statistically, I'd like to minimise the risk. Baby's health is far more important to me than my experience of being a complete woman etc etc. I do not fear pain or worry about saggy bits (although avoiding them would be nice, I am aware of the udder effect/recovery period from a section). I am not too posh to push, I am too prudent to persevere.
Doesn't quite have the same ring/dismissive tone to it though. Huh.
I shall be having a consultation with my obstetric consultant on Friday, re: the birthing of baby.
Also included is this fortnight's ante natal check, so unless I suddenly start being muchly unwell and/or I swell up, I'll leave worrying about my BP till then.
And so to prepare for the consultant.
I would like my baby to be delivered by elective c-section for the following reasons:
The rate of successful VBAC is somewhere between 34% and 50% - depending what you read - which means at least 50% end in an emergency c-section. At nearly 37 years old, having never been in labour before (I only got as far as stage one of induction with the twins, and nothing began at all) my own chances of a successful VBAC would be less than this.
An emergency section carries the greatest risk to baby and me, as well as having the longest recovery time. The only sure method to avoid an emergency section is to have a planned one.
My pelvis limits labour options, but not as much as my previous c-section. I cannot be induced or helped along hormonally, nor should I have any form of assisted delivery as both of these increase the chance of uterine rupture or general distress on the part of mother or child. Additionally there are time restraints in a VBAC. The trial is abandoned and a section performed in a number of scenarios of an attempted VBAC. So, the chance of an emergency section is pretty damned high.
Reasons I won't be sharing with the consultant:
Supposedly female obstetricians and GPs have a much higher rate of repeat elective sections than the general population. They have the facts and that is the decision they take.
An entirely vacuous and not vote swinging reason, but I am happy with having a definite date to make arrangements around, and not being left to overcook.
With regards to a trial of labour, that involves, well, waiting, trying and a probable emergency section, having put my body through an unsuccessful labour. If I could know it would work, then yes, I would go for it, but statistically, I'd like to minimise the risk. Baby's health is far more important to me than my experience of being a complete woman etc etc. I do not fear pain or worry about saggy bits (although avoiding them would be nice, I am aware of the udder effect/recovery period from a section). I am not too posh to push, I am too prudent to persevere.
Doesn't quite have the same ring/dismissive tone to it though. Huh.
Monday 22 August 2011
Hic
Hiccupping is good they tell me, it indicates that baby's diaphragm is well developed and that she is "breathing" the amniotic fluid.
Hiccupping is however alarming, especially when displayed as frequently as baby hiccups (as did foetal O). Although I did time them for a minute - 21 hics from baby - and that's average supposedly. It FELT like every second or faster, but no.
Foetal stuff is all done quickly.They don't do much. Hiccup, grow, develop, kick and have a heartbeat. All done rapidly.
Although the actions from within do seem more sophisticated than that which a newborn can do. I have my doubts as to any foetus playing with the cord etc as it takes a good number of weeks post birth to master such movement. You'd think the fluid, darkness, immaturity and what not would hinder.
Happily baby seems to have definitely moved around and isn't back to back, so back doesn't ache so badly, but pelvis is sorer again. My bump is smooth again and all seems back to normal. Unless I am mistaken, which is incredibly likely, she is transverse, or sideways as most people recognise, at the moment.
My home BP monitor has my BP crazy high. I feel fine and have no swelling, but if it's still mad tomorrow I'd best get it checked properly. If it is high with their machines I can look forward to perpetual monitoring for the rest of the pregnancy. I'm not unduly worried in light of no other symptoms but I guess I need to double check just in case. Or maybe I'll just wait till I see the consultant* on Friday unless I swell up or feel odd in some way. Heartbeat monitoring scaled up just in case. Well. Y'know.
*Yes, consultant on Friday. I shall pontificate on that topic later.
Hiccupping is however alarming, especially when displayed as frequently as baby hiccups (as did foetal O). Although I did time them for a minute - 21 hics from baby - and that's average supposedly. It FELT like every second or faster, but no.
Foetal stuff is all done quickly.They don't do much. Hiccup, grow, develop, kick and have a heartbeat. All done rapidly.
Although the actions from within do seem more sophisticated than that which a newborn can do. I have my doubts as to any foetus playing with the cord etc as it takes a good number of weeks post birth to master such movement. You'd think the fluid, darkness, immaturity and what not would hinder.
Happily baby seems to have definitely moved around and isn't back to back, so back doesn't ache so badly, but pelvis is sorer again. My bump is smooth again and all seems back to normal. Unless I am mistaken, which is incredibly likely, she is transverse, or sideways as most people recognise, at the moment.
My home BP monitor has my BP crazy high. I feel fine and have no swelling, but if it's still mad tomorrow I'd best get it checked properly. If it is high with their machines I can look forward to perpetual monitoring for the rest of the pregnancy. I'm not unduly worried in light of no other symptoms but I guess I need to double check just in case. Or maybe I'll just wait till I see the consultant* on Friday unless I swell up or feel odd in some way. Heartbeat monitoring scaled up just in case. Well. Y'know.
*Yes, consultant on Friday. I shall pontificate on that topic later.
Sunday 21 August 2011
Stung!
BBQ today, for hubby's work. Which was well organised and catered for, lots for the kids to do but oh boy am I tired. Hard work sitting around eating...
Poor O got stung by (presumably) a wasp and screamed blue murder. We had nothing to put on so we had to cool it with ice and cuddle him until another lady who had been stung also appeared with some cream. Instant fix. It's heartbreaking when your child is hurting and there's nothing you can do!! By the time we'd gathered our thoughts enough to consider making an expedition to get some medication, he was ok.
Poor wee guy. Enjoyed food, have heartburn exactly the same as every other night so may as well have enjoyed it! Pelvis not great, my back/pelvis joint is the primary source of the pain at the moment.
Baby presumably continues to be back to back as her heartbeat is harder to find and sounds further away. And my bump is very knobbly.
Night time sleeping is getting impossible. Daytime sleep is ok, I don't know why?? It makes no sense but does suggest I should look at my evening snackage. Daytime naps are good practice for synching naps with baby when she's born though. Ha. I've always been good at non-standard naps.
This week: prepare bedroom for baby.
Step one: clear out furniture to be collected on Tuesday.
Step two: collect cot etc and place in situ.
Step three: buy mattress.
Step four: reshuffle rest of house to make it fit.
Oh god. If I can find the energy, I am soooooooo tired.
Poor O got stung by (presumably) a wasp and screamed blue murder. We had nothing to put on so we had to cool it with ice and cuddle him until another lady who had been stung also appeared with some cream. Instant fix. It's heartbreaking when your child is hurting and there's nothing you can do!! By the time we'd gathered our thoughts enough to consider making an expedition to get some medication, he was ok.
Poor wee guy. Enjoyed food, have heartburn exactly the same as every other night so may as well have enjoyed it! Pelvis not great, my back/pelvis joint is the primary source of the pain at the moment.
Baby presumably continues to be back to back as her heartbeat is harder to find and sounds further away. And my bump is very knobbly.
Night time sleeping is getting impossible. Daytime sleep is ok, I don't know why?? It makes no sense but does suggest I should look at my evening snackage. Daytime naps are good practice for synching naps with baby when she's born though. Ha. I've always been good at non-standard naps.
This week: prepare bedroom for baby.
Step one: clear out furniture to be collected on Tuesday.
Step two: collect cot etc and place in situ.
Step three: buy mattress.
Step four: reshuffle rest of house to make it fit.
Oh god. If I can find the energy, I am soooooooo tired.
Saturday 20 August 2011
34 weeks done
Oh I am fed up of being pregnant! It's wonderful and life affirming and all that and I do want baby to be fully cooked, but to fast forward to the birth would be marvellous. Well, slightly after the birth ideally. The will-we-both-make-it??!!!! fear is weighing more frequently and I am just soooooo uncomfortable.
Also, I'd like to meet my daughter, I'm getting impatient for that too. I know the time will fly and I must enjoy the last weeks I will ever be pregnant, as well as enjoying the time to snooze and potter round the house. But...
Heartburn is now constant. Walking is the only thing that relieves it and the old pelvis makes that impossible. Pelvis was v sore today, quite probably due to walking further yesterday.
Cough is more frequent. Relieved by inhaler. Not sure how good that is for baby, I am assured it is ok.
General pain from tiny limbs battling for space with ribs etc is getting more or less constant, and urinary frequency is more like urinary perpetuity. The upside of that is that there is never a risk of leakage as emptying will always have just happened. Sigh. So glamorous.
September is nearly here. I have been looking to September since January. We are so very close. I can do it. I don't need to panic.
It is scary.
NB: these thoughts are triggered by some indications that baby may be ready to appear. Nothing concrete such as a show or waters breaking, but niggly things that make me think, hmm. Things that didn't happen with the twins. Loose bowels, backache, leaky nipples, excessive tightening... Could it be? Probably not, but I'm noting it for posterity.
Also, I'd like to meet my daughter, I'm getting impatient for that too. I know the time will fly and I must enjoy the last weeks I will ever be pregnant, as well as enjoying the time to snooze and potter round the house. But...
Heartburn is now constant. Walking is the only thing that relieves it and the old pelvis makes that impossible. Pelvis was v sore today, quite probably due to walking further yesterday.
Cough is more frequent. Relieved by inhaler. Not sure how good that is for baby, I am assured it is ok.
General pain from tiny limbs battling for space with ribs etc is getting more or less constant, and urinary frequency is more like urinary perpetuity. The upside of that is that there is never a risk of leakage as emptying will always have just happened. Sigh. So glamorous.
September is nearly here. I have been looking to September since January. We are so very close. I can do it. I don't need to panic.
It is scary.
NB: these thoughts are triggered by some indications that baby may be ready to appear. Nothing concrete such as a show or waters breaking, but niggly things that make me think, hmm. Things that didn't happen with the twins. Loose bowels, backache, leaky nipples, excessive tightening... Could it be? Probably not, but I'm noting it for posterity.
Friday 19 August 2011
Calm and clear
Baby has been most calm today, which naturally makes me panic. There have been usual stirrings as per text book non-hyper foetuses, and her heartbeat is as normal. 32-34 beats in 15 seconds, which is what it has been since ever I first counted. So no real need to panic, but I do.
I am extraordinarily tired today, I actually slept most of last night - aside from being woken up for snorting which nearly resulted in a broken leg of husband - and still flaked out for another couple of hours during the day. It is marvellous to be able to have that time, school does occupy the children effectively and longly. I am acutely aware of the time I won't have once baby arrives, so I am well and truly relishing maternity leave as it should be.
Although I do have a fair bit to do around the house, but a potter here and a potter there is getting me there. The BHF are collecting the old telly, a dressing table and chair (currently occupying the space where the cot will go) on Tuesday and hopefully I can foist some books upon them as well. At some point between now and baby being about 2/3 months old, we ideally need to rehome the gigantic tv unit so we can accommodate a dining table and playpen in the living room. And at some point early next year we shall do the moving house thing.
Pelvis sore again as I had to walk a fair distance to the school from the car as I was a little late to the school. I do need to arrive super sharp so as to get close. I didn't take the crutches as they slow me down and that was probably an error. Sitting down for a while on my magic cushion has helped as usual though, all is not lost. A quiet day required tomorrow though.
I am extraordinarily tired today, I actually slept most of last night - aside from being woken up for snorting which nearly resulted in a broken leg of husband - and still flaked out for another couple of hours during the day. It is marvellous to be able to have that time, school does occupy the children effectively and longly. I am acutely aware of the time I won't have once baby arrives, so I am well and truly relishing maternity leave as it should be.
Although I do have a fair bit to do around the house, but a potter here and a potter there is getting me there. The BHF are collecting the old telly, a dressing table and chair (currently occupying the space where the cot will go) on Tuesday and hopefully I can foist some books upon them as well. At some point between now and baby being about 2/3 months old, we ideally need to rehome the gigantic tv unit so we can accommodate a dining table and playpen in the living room. And at some point early next year we shall do the moving house thing.
Pelvis sore again as I had to walk a fair distance to the school from the car as I was a little late to the school. I do need to arrive super sharp so as to get close. I didn't take the crutches as they slow me down and that was probably an error. Sitting down for a while on my magic cushion has helped as usual though, all is not lost. A quiet day required tomorrow though.
Thursday 18 August 2011
A view to the future
Oh dear. A many ailment and excessive foetal hiccup worry related night meant I was wide awake from 3-5 am. And so 7.30 came around and it was time to get up, get the boys ready for school and get them and me out of the house in a decent state. Living dead is pretty accurate as to how I was. This is a mild hint as to what it will be like when baby arrives, except there will be a baby to cater for also.
Aiiieeeeee!!
Pelvis watch: it is a LOT better. In the last week I have only needed to use my crutches once and that was after a lengthy time in the car. I am coping with the school run sans crutches and this makes me most pleased. Should baby engage, I may be virtually immobile, but for now, it ok. There's a large array of things I just don't do, bending and walking related mostly, so I guess rest is the key, but it does seem to have eased. Walking hurts so I simply don't walk very far, and when I do, I rest until it stops hurting. Being a cumulative type of hurt, that keeps it in check.
Other symptoms: boobies are going daft again, very sore. I did manage to procure half price proper maternity bras just now though so that should help. I've been wearing sports bras to date and they're not that comfortable any more even with extenders, but I didn't really want to spend lots of cash on something that will last two months at best. Mothercare's sale saved the day.
I seem to have a 45 minute bladder capacity. Which is a right pain, both literally (the sit/stand action hurts) and in terms of planning never to be far from a toilet.
I have decided to make best use of this maternity leave time by, erm, resting. Yes, I have lots of house/baby/nesting things to do, but I can't realistically do more than an hour or two and it does make more sense to do that after school as I need to be awake and relatively interactive anyway.
And so to snooze...
Aiiieeeeee!!
Pelvis watch: it is a LOT better. In the last week I have only needed to use my crutches once and that was after a lengthy time in the car. I am coping with the school run sans crutches and this makes me most pleased. Should baby engage, I may be virtually immobile, but for now, it ok. There's a large array of things I just don't do, bending and walking related mostly, so I guess rest is the key, but it does seem to have eased. Walking hurts so I simply don't walk very far, and when I do, I rest until it stops hurting. Being a cumulative type of hurt, that keeps it in check.
Other symptoms: boobies are going daft again, very sore. I did manage to procure half price proper maternity bras just now though so that should help. I've been wearing sports bras to date and they're not that comfortable any more even with extenders, but I didn't really want to spend lots of cash on something that will last two months at best. Mothercare's sale saved the day.
I seem to have a 45 minute bladder capacity. Which is a right pain, both literally (the sit/stand action hurts) and in terms of planning never to be far from a toilet.
I have decided to make best use of this maternity leave time by, erm, resting. Yes, I have lots of house/baby/nesting things to do, but I can't realistically do more than an hour or two and it does make more sense to do that after school as I need to be awake and relatively interactive anyway.
And so to snooze...
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Sizing up baby
Having been constantly reminded since about conception that I am "large" (usual grump: twins, lardiness etc), I do wonder, not for the first time, if this is a jumbo baby. The midwife agreed that she is clearly a "good size baby" but didn't hazard a guess as to how good. Going on my 3 weeks ahead estimate (ginormous baby rather than advanced baby) that would make her currently around 6lb as opposed to the 4.75lb she should be at this stage, and if delivered at 39 weeks that would make her 8.5lb or so. Based on average baby sizes anyway.
The twins were delivered at 38+6 weeks, and were 7lb 1 and 6lb 2. I've mentioned this already, I'm not sure if the "twins are small" concept stems from the "twins come early" assumption. On average, twins are born at 37 weeks, not 40, and are, on average, smaller than singleton babies.
Whatever, I'm assuming at 39 weeks that baby will be bigger than the twins, which may or may not be inaccurate. She sure feels big, the enormous bump on my front is all baby. Wherever you feel, there's a bit of wriggling baby there.
She's still legs (all 9 of them) forward, I'm doing a spontaneous belly dance most of the time and there's many jabbing reminders of her being alive and kicking. I can't pretend that it's not fabulous, even if it does hurt sometimes. I was treated to a belly boogie when I woke up this morning, no time to worry.
One of the nicest mums from school is pregnant, her baby is due in January and so will be in the same school year as my baby, although probably not the same class. I'm well chuffed, both for her and for me. A new-baby buddy!
The twins were delivered at 38+6 weeks, and were 7lb 1 and 6lb 2. I've mentioned this already, I'm not sure if the "twins are small" concept stems from the "twins come early" assumption. On average, twins are born at 37 weeks, not 40, and are, on average, smaller than singleton babies.
Whatever, I'm assuming at 39 weeks that baby will be bigger than the twins, which may or may not be inaccurate. She sure feels big, the enormous bump on my front is all baby. Wherever you feel, there's a bit of wriggling baby there.
She's still legs (all 9 of them) forward, I'm doing a spontaneous belly dance most of the time and there's many jabbing reminders of her being alive and kicking. I can't pretend that it's not fabulous, even if it does hurt sometimes. I was treated to a belly boogie when I woke up this morning, no time to worry.
One of the nicest mums from school is pregnant, her baby is due in January and so will be in the same school year as my baby, although probably not the same class. I'm well chuffed, both for her and for me. A new-baby buddy!
Tuesday 16 August 2011
Back to back to school
Midwife visit was, as expected, uneventful. All is well. Urine clear, BP normal, no swelling or ickiness. 33 weeks and swell.
Baby is lying with her back to my back, so her limbs are forward. The midwife fathomed this by the number of knobbly parts she could feel. This would account for the apparent increase in movements, I will see and feel all limb movements at the front, the ones at the back I wouldn't see or feel. With her legs and arms nicely to the rear, I'd get bottom and occasional elbow moves. Now I am getting ouchie kicks and punches.
I have the cold. Not happy, colds without cold medication are not fun and this is this pregnancy's fourth cold. Bah. That's what happens when other halves fly on planes and breathe a plane load of germs. Still, I've been germ free since April, I should be grateful for that.
New school year started today, boys are now in p2. Just another day at school, as compared the the first day of p1! They were all "I don't want to go" yesterday but they were up and ready and excited to go extra early this morning. A good day was had by all, not least by me doing very very little. That can't last, there's much to be done, but it was nice.
Baby is lying with her back to my back, so her limbs are forward. The midwife fathomed this by the number of knobbly parts she could feel. This would account for the apparent increase in movements, I will see and feel all limb movements at the front, the ones at the back I wouldn't see or feel. With her legs and arms nicely to the rear, I'd get bottom and occasional elbow moves. Now I am getting ouchie kicks and punches.
I have the cold. Not happy, colds without cold medication are not fun and this is this pregnancy's fourth cold. Bah. That's what happens when other halves fly on planes and breathe a plane load of germs. Still, I've been germ free since April, I should be grateful for that.
New school year started today, boys are now in p2. Just another day at school, as compared the the first day of p1! They were all "I don't want to go" yesterday but they were up and ready and excited to go extra early this morning. A good day was had by all, not least by me doing very very little. That can't last, there's much to be done, but it was nice.
Monday 15 August 2011
Back on the radar
Holiday was lovely, except we were sufficiently remote to have no phone signal at all never mind Internet. Caravans are a good cheap way to get away but minuscule living would get wearing very quickly. I keep pricing up Center Parcs but it is sooo much more expensive than caravans (unless we go in January which I am up for, noone else is). So that was our babymoon, happy time spent chilling and bobbing around the pool and a quite lovely day yesterday at a farm which was mostly a giant outdoor play farm, with animals (mostly goats) as well as grass sledging, bouncy pillows, trikes etc. Investigation reveals a similar set up at a fruit farm (rather than animals) about twenty minutes away. Further investigations (ie going there) required to establish greatness but that could prove to be a favourite place.
Baby has been active, particularly today. Bath time now, and she's going mad! I'm not sure what constitutes frantic movement, but she is worrying sometimes. Hurrah for heart monitor though, one assumes that frantic (distressed) movement would result in an increased heartrate.
I have been rather uncomfortable while away due to a hard bed, hard sofa and lack of bath, but returning to all of the above has made me fine again.
School back tomorrow = school run ugh, but empty days. I am actually rather sad as we've had lovely times together over the summer and I'll miss swimming etc. I may go myself, but probably won't. We could go after school I guess.
Six weeks today baby is due to be delivered and so far we have nowhere to put her. Space needs made and all the equipment placed in situ. Panic! Or not, it's all manageable.
Midwife tomorrow, I expect no excitement. Nothing much has changed, I feel fine.
Baby has been active, particularly today. Bath time now, and she's going mad! I'm not sure what constitutes frantic movement, but she is worrying sometimes. Hurrah for heart monitor though, one assumes that frantic (distressed) movement would result in an increased heartrate.
I have been rather uncomfortable while away due to a hard bed, hard sofa and lack of bath, but returning to all of the above has made me fine again.
School back tomorrow = school run ugh, but empty days. I am actually rather sad as we've had lovely times together over the summer and I'll miss swimming etc. I may go myself, but probably won't. We could go after school I guess.
Six weeks today baby is due to be delivered and so far we have nowhere to put her. Space needs made and all the equipment placed in situ. Panic! Or not, it's all manageable.
Midwife tomorrow, I expect no excitement. Nothing much has changed, I feel fine.
Thursday 11 August 2011
Boing boing goes the baby
Baby has surpassed all previous records of movement. Methinks she had a foot stuck or something as she wriggled and kicked and jiggled something rotten for about an hour - 3 till 4am incidentally - and then there was like a "ping", something flew across the inside of my uterus, then calm was restored. Today she is her usual bouncy self.
Hubby returns today, I am so very happy. Holidays tomorrow, no time to fret and have paranoid panic.
Hubby returns today, I am so very happy. Holidays tomorrow, no time to fret and have paranoid panic.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Paranoia gaining momentum
My bump confuses me. Baby isn't all that big and none of her joints are very big, but I often have a very solid and rigid lump of bump that feels somewhat like a substantial joint. A foot? Shoulder? Knee? Totally hard and unyielding. Weird. Worrying, sometimes.
So, I've got obsessed with new worries. I am utterly convinced that any time at all spent on my back will cause an immediate cessation of oxygen to baby and the result will be brain damage, most likely in the form of cerebral palsy. Which I am terrified of. More so because baby was perfect at previous scans, so if anything goes wrong it would most likely be because of something I did/am going to do wrong.
What else am I worried about? My mortality again. Regardless of my mothering skills I cannot bear the thought of my own demise and my babies being motherless. The this-baby-wasn't-meant-to-be concept has reared it's ugly paranoid head again and I can't get past thinking that she and I cannot co-exist.
Because no unplanned babies survive... It's utterly illogical. It would be far more sane to think that this baby is clearly meant to be and so will be regardless. I have similar fears for O as twin 2, we only planned for one baby and he came too.
That's not to say I don't have horrors about R and bad things happening to him. I guess this is one of the pitfalls of parenthood. Or just love, I have perpetual fears about their father too.
More whimsical, but at least positive, is the fact that I have always sensed I would have a daughter. I have long envisaged her as a little girl of around 7. I have an image in my head of how she will look, so my subconscious at least acknowledges the likelihood of her growing up. With me around also. When I was pregnant with the boys I could clearly imagine the way they would look, specifically I could see the differences between them, and actually I got it right. Mother's intuition or the mad rambling of a hormonal worrywart?
So, I've got obsessed with new worries. I am utterly convinced that any time at all spent on my back will cause an immediate cessation of oxygen to baby and the result will be brain damage, most likely in the form of cerebral palsy. Which I am terrified of. More so because baby was perfect at previous scans, so if anything goes wrong it would most likely be because of something I did/am going to do wrong.
What else am I worried about? My mortality again. Regardless of my mothering skills I cannot bear the thought of my own demise and my babies being motherless. The this-baby-wasn't-meant-to-be concept has reared it's ugly paranoid head again and I can't get past thinking that she and I cannot co-exist.
Because no unplanned babies survive... It's utterly illogical. It would be far more sane to think that this baby is clearly meant to be and so will be regardless. I have similar fears for O as twin 2, we only planned for one baby and he came too.
That's not to say I don't have horrors about R and bad things happening to him. I guess this is one of the pitfalls of parenthood. Or just love, I have perpetual fears about their father too.
More whimsical, but at least positive, is the fact that I have always sensed I would have a daughter. I have long envisaged her as a little girl of around 7. I have an image in my head of how she will look, so my subconscious at least acknowledges the likelihood of her growing up. With me around also. When I was pregnant with the boys I could clearly imagine the way they would look, specifically I could see the differences between them, and actually I got it right. Mother's intuition or the mad rambling of a hormonal worrywart?
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Navel displacement
My bellybutton has moved!! I have the dent where my navel is located, but the actual nub is a little off to the side. 2 bellybuttons! I did try to take a pic, but ugh.
Missing hubby awfully today. He's not back tomorrow either, it's the next day, and he's to go back next week. I do not know how single mothers do it, although I guess you'd have alternative support. I am very lucky as the alternative support is there should I need to call on it, but I don't usually need to. I do admire women who can constantly manage children on their own, I am acutely aware of not being able to nip out - for bread or similar, I have no need for the pub - unless I take them. Normally I just need to wait till hubby gets home and then it's ok. Also, I got a wave of sadness earlier when I remembered he wasn't coming back tonight, how awful that must be to be abandoned or bereaved and have to remember that it's for every night.
I don't like the glimpse into life without him though, I hope that is not a reality until we are very very very old and ideally I have no idea or have gone first (by a day or so, I don't wish loneliness on him to alleviate my own fears).
Baby was more restful today. Heartbeat good and clear and movements were sufficient to allay concerns. Pelvis was sorer today, baby must be lower as I'm not very heartburny. She also (I think) has periodic hiccups. Which are weird. O hiccupped his way through the last few weeks of pregnancy and into his first few weeks of life. Baby is shaping up to be a mini-O.
Which is ok, he's lovely.
Missing hubby awfully today. He's not back tomorrow either, it's the next day, and he's to go back next week. I do not know how single mothers do it, although I guess you'd have alternative support. I am very lucky as the alternative support is there should I need to call on it, but I don't usually need to. I do admire women who can constantly manage children on their own, I am acutely aware of not being able to nip out - for bread or similar, I have no need for the pub - unless I take them. Normally I just need to wait till hubby gets home and then it's ok. Also, I got a wave of sadness earlier when I remembered he wasn't coming back tonight, how awful that must be to be abandoned or bereaved and have to remember that it's for every night.
I don't like the glimpse into life without him though, I hope that is not a reality until we are very very very old and ideally I have no idea or have gone first (by a day or so, I don't wish loneliness on him to alleviate my own fears).
Baby was more restful today. Heartbeat good and clear and movements were sufficient to allay concerns. Pelvis was sorer today, baby must be lower as I'm not very heartburny. She also (I think) has periodic hiccups. Which are weird. O hiccupped his way through the last few weeks of pregnancy and into his first few weeks of life. Baby is shaping up to be a mini-O.
Which is ok, he's lovely.
Monday 8 August 2011
Mummy's mummy
Well, I survived day one of single parenthood. Didn't like it much, I'll be glad when hubby gets home. I'm a bit unnerved by the riots in London, I hope that doesn't affect him or his journey home on Thursday.
Who's selfish?
My mum came to see me today, on her own which was nice. Much as I adore my still quite new stepfather, I haven't had my mum to myself in a very long time. She was delighted by feeling baby kick an
d by being able to hear her heartbeat. I find it all pretty amazing and I guess it must be mind boggling to have your offspring producing their own offspring. I'm quite traumatised by the whole concept of the children being teenagers and young adults, what with all the dangers they can put themselves in. To consider my little girl, who I am still to meet, being a mother, is quite bonkers. But I was Mum's baby girl once, and here I am, a geriatric mother of three (nearly).
Studies suspended, new dissertation submission date to be April 2012 I think. Note to self: do the bloody thing this time. Although I have taken the decision based on my inability to write well just now or remember things (baby brain), not because it wouldn't have been done.
I miss being clever. I'm sure I used to be.
Who's selfish?
My mum came to see me today, on her own which was nice. Much as I adore my still quite new stepfather, I haven't had my mum to myself in a very long time. She was delighted by feeling baby kick an
d by being able to hear her heartbeat. I find it all pretty amazing and I guess it must be mind boggling to have your offspring producing their own offspring. I'm quite traumatised by the whole concept of the children being teenagers and young adults, what with all the dangers they can put themselves in. To consider my little girl, who I am still to meet, being a mother, is quite bonkers. But I was Mum's baby girl once, and here I am, a geriatric mother of three (nearly).
Studies suspended, new dissertation submission date to be April 2012 I think. Note to self: do the bloody thing this time. Although I have taken the decision based on my inability to write well just now or remember things (baby brain), not because it wouldn't have been done.
I miss being clever. I'm sure I used to be.
Sunday 7 August 2011
A quiet week required
Hubby's going away for work in the morning!! To London(ish)!! He's never had to do that before, I'm feeling most perturbed. He's away till Thursday, then he has to come home as we're going on our hols on Friday, then he's potentially away back down south again next Tuesday. We get back on Monday, Tuesday is Back to School.
I'm quite envious of him, he flies down tomorrow morning. His taxi arrives at 4.20am which is less good. But staying in a hotel is nice and rather exciting. I've usually been the one who does trips and stuff, this time I'm at home being mummy.
If I wasn't pregnant we could potentially have tagged along, but I am so we can't. Boo.
Tomorrow I shall get my options for not submitting my dissertation. Failing isn't one of those options though, so that's something. I would have had a nervous breakdown this week on my own with that still to finish, although I've done nothing since Thursday when I decided to ask for non-submission advice.
No more false labour signs, all is normal. Nothing much to report in the pregnancy progression other than my nipples are producing minuscule drops of moisture, so breastfeeding may be on the cards.
7 weeks tomorrow and she'll be here, hopefully hopefully. My consultant "chat about the birth" appointment has been changed to 35 weeks as hubby might not be here at 34.
My last week with my little chums, I've actually enjoyed having them home for the summer holidays. None of us want them to be over!
I'm quite envious of him, he flies down tomorrow morning. His taxi arrives at 4.20am which is less good. But staying in a hotel is nice and rather exciting. I've usually been the one who does trips and stuff, this time I'm at home being mummy.
If I wasn't pregnant we could potentially have tagged along, but I am so we can't. Boo.
Tomorrow I shall get my options for not submitting my dissertation. Failing isn't one of those options though, so that's something. I would have had a nervous breakdown this week on my own with that still to finish, although I've done nothing since Thursday when I decided to ask for non-submission advice.
No more false labour signs, all is normal. Nothing much to report in the pregnancy progression other than my nipples are producing minuscule drops of moisture, so breastfeeding may be on the cards.
7 weeks tomorrow and she'll be here, hopefully hopefully. My consultant "chat about the birth" appointment has been changed to 35 weeks as hubby might not be here at 34.
My last week with my little chums, I've actually enjoyed having them home for the summer holidays. None of us want them to be over!
Saturday 6 August 2011
Ow ow ow not yet thank you
32 weeks today! Hurrah!
And I hurt. A lot. In the just below the rib area, periodically tightening and being very very sore.
I don't think this is a sign of anything labourlike, I assume this is big time Braxton Hicks, but owwwwww!! But I also have backache and a touch of the runs, so I've been looking up "premature labour" and "survival at 32 weeks". Ahem.
I think I'd be more sore if it was the real thing, although I do believe it starts mildly.
Ow. Owwww. Owwwwwwwww!
Baby seems to be twisting and turning a lot. She was distinctly sideways earlier, which hurt my sides, now she seems to be shifting again. Ow. I have hard knee like parts sticking out of my belly.
Oh ow. It hurts again. I'm sure this isn't it, it's too early and not sore enough as per the childbirth experts, but I'm not entirely sure if I will get any sleep. Ow.
Reasons why it's almost certainly not labour:
1) I'm only 32 weeks
2) I carried twins to term. They are meant to come early
3) I'm not screaming.
4) I don't smoke
5) I don't drink
6) I'm not obese or underweight
7) I'm not malnourished
However,
1) It hurts
2) I do/did have gum disease
3) I have a lot of aspartame on a daily basis
(both these things apparently contribute to premature delivery)
4) Backache+runs+v sore hardening uterus could mean it is it.
I don't want her to come yet. The thought of her being in hospital and not in me or with me is awful. She would almost certainly be ok after a stay in hospital if she was born now, but I really don't want her to be out of me and in an incubator. I wish to incubate her myself for a while yet.
Besides, hubby is all set for his business trip next week (which he obvs would cancel in light of birthing taking place) and we're to be going away next weekend. Irrelevant in the face of healthy baby, but still, timing not good. In three weeks time it'd be ok, five weeks would be absolutely fine. And not coming till she's meant to would be best, if painful in the meantime.
I'm being paranoid, I know I am, but it is alarming. I get very very sore, then not sore at all. Then a short time later, sore again. Braxton Hicks or baby athletics. I'm sure. Sure I'm sure.
And I hurt. A lot. In the just below the rib area, periodically tightening and being very very sore.
I don't think this is a sign of anything labourlike, I assume this is big time Braxton Hicks, but owwwwww!! But I also have backache and a touch of the runs, so I've been looking up "premature labour" and "survival at 32 weeks". Ahem.
I think I'd be more sore if it was the real thing, although I do believe it starts mildly.
Ow. Owwww. Owwwwwwwww!
Baby seems to be twisting and turning a lot. She was distinctly sideways earlier, which hurt my sides, now she seems to be shifting again. Ow. I have hard knee like parts sticking out of my belly.
Oh ow. It hurts again. I'm sure this isn't it, it's too early and not sore enough as per the childbirth experts, but I'm not entirely sure if I will get any sleep. Ow.
Reasons why it's almost certainly not labour:
1) I'm only 32 weeks
2) I carried twins to term. They are meant to come early
3) I'm not screaming.
4) I don't smoke
5) I don't drink
6) I'm not obese or underweight
7) I'm not malnourished
However,
1) It hurts
2) I do/did have gum disease
3) I have a lot of aspartame on a daily basis
(both these things apparently contribute to premature delivery)
4) Backache+runs+v sore hardening uterus could mean it is it.
I don't want her to come yet. The thought of her being in hospital and not in me or with me is awful. She would almost certainly be ok after a stay in hospital if she was born now, but I really don't want her to be out of me and in an incubator. I wish to incubate her myself for a while yet.
Besides, hubby is all set for his business trip next week (which he obvs would cancel in light of birthing taking place) and we're to be going away next weekend. Irrelevant in the face of healthy baby, but still, timing not good. In three weeks time it'd be ok, five weeks would be absolutely fine. And not coming till she's meant to would be best, if painful in the meantime.
I'm being paranoid, I know I am, but it is alarming. I get very very sore, then not sore at all. Then a short time later, sore again. Braxton Hicks or baby athletics. I'm sure. Sure I'm sure.
Friday 5 August 2011
Up and down.
I seem to have noticed a pattern. When my pelvis hurts a lot, my ribs don't. When my ribs hurt a lot, my pelvis is eased. The rib pain is actually more uncomfortable as it is accompanied by severe indigestion, and doesn't go away whatever I do. Although the pelvis pain is much worse, I have means to relieve that and if I don't have to walk anywhere, I'm ok.
Anyways, I assume baby is shifting higher and lower, or turning, or something, which is what affects the location of the discomfort. She is still about half the size she will be at term, so I guess I'll be mighty sore by then, possibly high and low simultaneously. Oh, the joys.
I may add that any relief of the pelvic pain vanishes upon leaving the house and doing any walking at all. Very sore again, and walking is still sore on an indigestion day even if sitting is easier.
I'm still big, as I was told today. $$>>€}^]€\!}+~!!! Why comment? What's the point of saying it again and again? Does it mean, oh you must be further on, or oh you are a fatto, or oh you must be having a massive baby???? I've been consistently the same amount big and it's really doing my head in whenever anyone says. I'm not abnormally big - like I was with the twins. I'm not fat anywhere else, you get a LOT of fat arses in the third trimester. So, comments are pointless. There is a range of ok, and I am within it. Today's was at the end of a discussion/monologue from me as to why I want a caesarean, ending with "you are big though" from chief big bump watcher, so I'm not sure if that was a reference to the unlikelihood of elephantine child fitting through my waif-like* pelvis or not.
*I wasn't skinny btw, I was about 2lb over the normal weight range. Not exactly vast, but not skinny. I stopped dieting when I was 7lb within the range, then put on 9lb over the next year and a bit.
On the caesarean thing, I am feeling a little narked at the insinuation that only childbirth is real pain. In an obtuse way I almost want to feel it so I can say, actual that is, or isn't, akin to needing two years of tramadol for a neck injury or the shooting pain of toothache. There's something awful about pain that's present day after day after day after day and labour is short lived, even a ridiculously long labour is a few days.
I fully sympathise with men, although they are wusses. My hubby had a kidney infection last year and was howling in pain, convinced he was dying. He whimpered to me, UTI veteran, "is this what you have?" to which the answer is yes, frequently. I still maintain an abscess in my tooth was the sorest thing I have ever experienced, more than the neck or the pelvis or any kidney infection. I'd like to see the "childbirth" brigade talk to an injured soldier. Huh.
Thats me all ranted out.
32 weeks tomorrow, week 33 awaits and we are so nearly there.
AIEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!!!
Note: dissertation abandoned. Stress related, I hope to submit at a later date. I will hear back next week.
Anyways, I assume baby is shifting higher and lower, or turning, or something, which is what affects the location of the discomfort. She is still about half the size she will be at term, so I guess I'll be mighty sore by then, possibly high and low simultaneously. Oh, the joys.
I may add that any relief of the pelvic pain vanishes upon leaving the house and doing any walking at all. Very sore again, and walking is still sore on an indigestion day even if sitting is easier.
I'm still big, as I was told today. $$>>€}^]€\!}+~!!! Why comment? What's the point of saying it again and again? Does it mean, oh you must be further on, or oh you are a fatto, or oh you must be having a massive baby???? I've been consistently the same amount big and it's really doing my head in whenever anyone says. I'm not abnormally big - like I was with the twins. I'm not fat anywhere else, you get a LOT of fat arses in the third trimester. So, comments are pointless. There is a range of ok, and I am within it. Today's was at the end of a discussion/monologue from me as to why I want a caesarean, ending with "you are big though" from chief big bump watcher, so I'm not sure if that was a reference to the unlikelihood of elephantine child fitting through my waif-like* pelvis or not.
*I wasn't skinny btw, I was about 2lb over the normal weight range. Not exactly vast, but not skinny. I stopped dieting when I was 7lb within the range, then put on 9lb over the next year and a bit.
On the caesarean thing, I am feeling a little narked at the insinuation that only childbirth is real pain. In an obtuse way I almost want to feel it so I can say, actual that is, or isn't, akin to needing two years of tramadol for a neck injury or the shooting pain of toothache. There's something awful about pain that's present day after day after day after day and labour is short lived, even a ridiculously long labour is a few days.
I fully sympathise with men, although they are wusses. My hubby had a kidney infection last year and was howling in pain, convinced he was dying. He whimpered to me, UTI veteran, "is this what you have?" to which the answer is yes, frequently. I still maintain an abscess in my tooth was the sorest thing I have ever experienced, more than the neck or the pelvis or any kidney infection. I'd like to see the "childbirth" brigade talk to an injured soldier. Huh.
Thats me all ranted out.
32 weeks tomorrow, week 33 awaits and we are so nearly there.
AIEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!!!
Note: dissertation abandoned. Stress related, I hope to submit at a later date. I will hear back next week.
Thursday 4 August 2011
Wriggle and jiggles and tickles inside
They tell me that movements will be less and less now as baby sleeps more and has less room to move. Yes, baby has less room, no baby doesn't move less. Baby just moves me too. She hasn't read the books.
O never slowed down his foetal movements, and it was about this stage he started the hiccups that lasted until after he was born. O is a very active child.
Baby has indeed had a most hyperactive day, almost all day. She does seem to sleep when I do so if that continues after birth, hurrah!
In true form, after declaring my pelvis to be a bit better, it's been damned sore today and I haven't left the house.
Hubby is to be away on business most of next week and the week after. This makes me a little twitchy. I don't expect anything to happen, but I'd rather he wasn't a flight away if it did. Besides, I've never been away from him for three nights since before we were married. It's good for his career, and peace for my final dissertation week, but :-(
Had my fill of relatives today, want to move far far away. If business continues down south, I'll cheerfully up sticks.
After baby is born. Baby will be Scottish; a Fifer, but still a Scot.
O never slowed down his foetal movements, and it was about this stage he started the hiccups that lasted until after he was born. O is a very active child.
Baby has indeed had a most hyperactive day, almost all day. She does seem to sleep when I do so if that continues after birth, hurrah!
In true form, after declaring my pelvis to be a bit better, it's been damned sore today and I haven't left the house.
Hubby is to be away on business most of next week and the week after. This makes me a little twitchy. I don't expect anything to happen, but I'd rather he wasn't a flight away if it did. Besides, I've never been away from him for three nights since before we were married. It's good for his career, and peace for my final dissertation week, but :-(
Had my fill of relatives today, want to move far far away. If business continues down south, I'll cheerfully up sticks.
After baby is born. Baby will be Scottish; a Fifer, but still a Scot.
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Getting there
Hmm. My pelvis doesn't hurt so badly. Today I stayed in all day - lots of dissertation written, yay me! - until 11pm when I popped into tesco for some lunch things for tomorrow. It didn't hurt too much and when I think about it, it's not been agony for a while. I read somewhere that PGP can ease off a bit after 30 weeks so maybe it's better. Or maybe by not walking anywhere much at all, and much cushion using, it's just not had the cumulative pain building up. The pain is definitely worse the more I do, so by not doing the walking/stair climbing etc, I should theoretically be ok.
School back in two weeks, we'll find out then for sure.
In other news, today a kindly friend brought me her daughter's newborn clothes etc. 4 bin bags full of gorgeous tiny pink sleepsuits and what not. I did coo over them, especially the Christmas ones.
Little baby at Christmas, I can't wait! My big babies were a week off their first birthday by their first Christmas so were past the looking adorable in ridiculous attire stage. Still adorable, less Anne Geddes like.
We are doing well for stuff.
Cot: at friend's house, needs new mattress
Buggy/carseat/carrycot: in shop, requires payment and collection
Bouncy chair: promised by aunt
Infant rocker: at friend's house
Baby bath: at friend's house
Steriliser: in loft
Changebag: in wardrobe
Changing unit: shelf part in loft, chest part requires replacement for boys.
Clothes: now sorted, also bedding and wrap-to-carry-baby-sling-thing
Changemat: got
Toys: got
Bumbo: at aunt's house
Playpen: at aunt's house
Stairgate: behind bedroom door for no good reason.
Is that all?
We need to get:
Boys' new chest
Cot mattress
Bottles, bottle brush, dishwasher basket, second kettle
Bath support
Plus later we need a highchair and maybe other stuff. Santa can sort that.
That's not a lot. We also need to get the rooms sorted and swapped over.
What we don't need is gifts, but people are unfailingly generous when it comes to babies. Sigh. And I know fine well I'd be right stroppy if they didn't. Oops.
Boots tokens for make up. That'd be nice :-)
School back in two weeks, we'll find out then for sure.
In other news, today a kindly friend brought me her daughter's newborn clothes etc. 4 bin bags full of gorgeous tiny pink sleepsuits and what not. I did coo over them, especially the Christmas ones.
Little baby at Christmas, I can't wait! My big babies were a week off their first birthday by their first Christmas so were past the looking adorable in ridiculous attire stage. Still adorable, less Anne Geddes like.
We are doing well for stuff.
Cot: at friend's house, needs new mattress
Buggy/carseat/carrycot: in shop, requires payment and collection
Bouncy chair: promised by aunt
Infant rocker: at friend's house
Baby bath: at friend's house
Steriliser: in loft
Changebag: in wardrobe
Changing unit: shelf part in loft, chest part requires replacement for boys.
Clothes: now sorted, also bedding and wrap-to-carry-baby-sling-thing
Changemat: got
Toys: got
Bumbo: at aunt's house
Playpen: at aunt's house
Stairgate: behind bedroom door for no good reason.
Is that all?
We need to get:
Boys' new chest
Cot mattress
Bottles, bottle brush, dishwasher basket, second kettle
Bath support
Plus later we need a highchair and maybe other stuff. Santa can sort that.
That's not a lot. We also need to get the rooms sorted and swapped over.
What we don't need is gifts, but people are unfailingly generous when it comes to babies. Sigh. And I know fine well I'd be right stroppy if they didn't. Oops.
Boots tokens for make up. That'd be nice :-)
Tuesday 2 August 2011
Emotions
Babies make me cry.
They don't usually, I recall being like this when I was close to having the boys. The sight of a newborn, especially if I see footage of it actually being born, has this bizarre response of being really tearful. I don't know if this is a result of a bonkers mix of hormones and tiredness, or if it's a overwhelming sense of OH MY GOD I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE SOON!!!
Older babies I don't seem to have a problem with. Just teeny tiny ones. I'm sure I felt the same emotion when I saw my own newborns, but that was mixed in with unadulterated joy and relief as well as the tearfulness.
I may add that the tears aren't actually shed, they just threaten.
All my emotions are heightened, I'm quick to lose my temper, over worried about things and generally fretsome and grumpy.
Today's worry is down to a very obviously upset tummy. I don't think I've eaten anything potentially harmful, but there's always the worry. Or it could be a sign of impending labour too early. The Braxton Hicks are fairly frequent; each time I am now thinking, is it real? Could it be? It doss hurt a lot sometimes.
The lady from my online group who had her baby at 31+5 weeks had a condition called acute fatty liver of pregnancy, which sounds horrendous, and can only be cured by delivery. Poor soul has had this in all three of her pregnancies, which seems extraordinarily unfair.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_fatty_liver_of_pregnancy
Point being, it wasn't a spontaneous labour. I seem to be in good health (although don't want to tempt fate) so early delivery shouldn't be required. Spontaneous early labour, well that's a whole different worry.
Hang on in little girl, a few more weeks yet.
They don't usually, I recall being like this when I was close to having the boys. The sight of a newborn, especially if I see footage of it actually being born, has this bizarre response of being really tearful. I don't know if this is a result of a bonkers mix of hormones and tiredness, or if it's a overwhelming sense of OH MY GOD I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE SOON!!!
Older babies I don't seem to have a problem with. Just teeny tiny ones. I'm sure I felt the same emotion when I saw my own newborns, but that was mixed in with unadulterated joy and relief as well as the tearfulness.
I may add that the tears aren't actually shed, they just threaten.
All my emotions are heightened, I'm quick to lose my temper, over worried about things and generally fretsome and grumpy.
Today's worry is down to a very obviously upset tummy. I don't think I've eaten anything potentially harmful, but there's always the worry. Or it could be a sign of impending labour too early. The Braxton Hicks are fairly frequent; each time I am now thinking, is it real? Could it be? It doss hurt a lot sometimes.
The lady from my online group who had her baby at 31+5 weeks had a condition called acute fatty liver of pregnancy, which sounds horrendous, and can only be cured by delivery. Poor soul has had this in all three of her pregnancies, which seems extraordinarily unfair.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_fatty_liver_of_pregnancy
Point being, it wasn't a spontaneous labour. I seem to be in good health (although don't want to tempt fate) so early delivery shouldn't be required. Spontaneous early labour, well that's a whole different worry.
Hang on in little girl, a few more weeks yet.
Monday 1 August 2011
Free!
My boys are away for part 2 of their summer break to their grandparents, also known as giving me peace to get on with my dissertation (which involves staying up till the wee hours and sleeping till lunchtime mostly, I am 400% more creative after midnight for no good reason, always have been). It feels a bit like I'm offloading them again, but it was always planned that they would go again, they will only have been away for 4 nights all summer, and they were to go again when the National Museum of Scotland reopened which was just last week.
So I am free, if feeling a little bereft. They just headed off this morning so it's a bit like them being at school at the moment, 3pm with no school run will be joyous, then everything will feel odd.
The second part of free is that I managed to procure Sainsburys Mum and Baby bundle. It's ace, a very attractive changing mat with pockets (godsend if you don't want to lug a whole changing bag, and it conveniently stores nappies, wipes and sacks), as well as some samples of things. I like.
And now, I must get on with my dissertation...
So I am free, if feeling a little bereft. They just headed off this morning so it's a bit like them being at school at the moment, 3pm with no school run will be joyous, then everything will feel odd.
The second part of free is that I managed to procure Sainsburys Mum and Baby bundle. It's ace, a very attractive changing mat with pockets (godsend if you don't want to lug a whole changing bag, and it conveniently stores nappies, wipes and sacks), as well as some samples of things. I like.
And now, I must get on with my dissertation...
Sunday 31 July 2011
The first, the everything
I'm not sure if I'm generally more meh about everything, or if I conceived first time so easily I took it all for granted, or if having twins meant it was impossible, but I have never had the "first born" thing. Most people seem to have this thing where their first born, only their first born, is excessively precious and fragile. This only lasts until the second child arrives and never applies to second and subsequent children.
All babies are precious and fragile, I know this. They are miraculous and all parents believe their child is the most beautiful, perfect, clever, wonderful person to ever live. (My babies actually are the cleverest and beautifullest, by the way). I do baffle at entourages for newborns though, and the amount of stuff that accompanies the entourage. It's the wonderment that accompanies it all, and I do feel (probably as a second born child) that it's a bit unfair that it only applies to baby number one.
One thing I don't do however that many many parents do and I don't understand it (although I am well envious that they have the option) is leave their babies overnight with a grandparent - or sister or cousin or friend - from a very young age. Said person is obviously part of the entourage, but I couldn't be apart from my babies overnight until they were over a year old, and even then I only ever left them with their father. Some smart cookies seem to arrange a regular night off virtually from birth. for us, babysitting ended when we got home, and was a bi-monthly treat anyway (now it is less, sigh). The boys from the age of 4 were allowed overnight to their granny, three nights is the longest they have been away from us and I miss them like crazy when they're gone. Maybe my (relative) nonchalance about their existence stems from their omnipresence?
Many mothers return to work quite soon after their first baby is born (not so true with second babies, part time and career breaks seem to be more common with every additional child) and I envy them both the job to return to and the additional things that they can provide for. But there are benefits to being at home and being the sole carer for your babies; the being apart must lead to slight overcompensation when together. Also only having one child may make it easier to devote oneself entirely to that one child. I may do that this time, I am quite excited at the thought of swimming, mother and toddlers, baby carriers, going back to work (maybe) and other things that were out of the question with twins. I may have the first-born experience with my singleton! I don't think she'll be staying away in a hurry though.
All babies are precious and fragile, I know this. They are miraculous and all parents believe their child is the most beautiful, perfect, clever, wonderful person to ever live. (My babies actually are the cleverest and beautifullest, by the way). I do baffle at entourages for newborns though, and the amount of stuff that accompanies the entourage. It's the wonderment that accompanies it all, and I do feel (probably as a second born child) that it's a bit unfair that it only applies to baby number one.
One thing I don't do however that many many parents do and I don't understand it (although I am well envious that they have the option) is leave their babies overnight with a grandparent - or sister or cousin or friend - from a very young age. Said person is obviously part of the entourage, but I couldn't be apart from my babies overnight until they were over a year old, and even then I only ever left them with their father. Some smart cookies seem to arrange a regular night off virtually from birth. for us, babysitting ended when we got home, and was a bi-monthly treat anyway (now it is less, sigh). The boys from the age of 4 were allowed overnight to their granny, three nights is the longest they have been away from us and I miss them like crazy when they're gone. Maybe my (relative) nonchalance about their existence stems from their omnipresence?
Many mothers return to work quite soon after their first baby is born (not so true with second babies, part time and career breaks seem to be more common with every additional child) and I envy them both the job to return to and the additional things that they can provide for. But there are benefits to being at home and being the sole carer for your babies; the being apart must lead to slight overcompensation when together. Also only having one child may make it easier to devote oneself entirely to that one child. I may do that this time, I am quite excited at the thought of swimming, mother and toddlers, baby carriers, going back to work (maybe) and other things that were out of the question with twins. I may have the first-born experience with my singleton! I don't think she'll be staying away in a hurry though.
Saturday 30 July 2011
Bump n grind
I've been looking at pics of me when I was pregnant with the twins. The bump was about the same sticking out-ness as my current bump but was considerably wider. This isn't surprising as the babies lay side by side for the entire second half of the pregnancy. I knew this due to the lovely 4 weekly scans which I would love to have this time. My time is up for having a 3D scan as I would have had to have had it this weekend.
This baby is apparently in the textbook cephalic position (head down, bum up) but I have my doubts as previously mentioned. Baby is up and down anyway as my bump is definitely raised in the middle. Although she does seem to be slightly over to my left side, even though her heartbeat is nearly always on the right. She must have her head down right and her bum off to the left. I have distinctly bruised ribs, her kicks are vicious sometimes and right now she seems to have a foot or similar locked underneath my ribcage. Ouchie!
O and I had a happy time shining his torch at the bump this evening and watching baby squirm. I trust this isn't unpleasant for her as it is presumably a red glow rather than a bright light, and it was recommended by a pregnancy guide.
Dissertation progresses! 1500 words added tonight, all heading done and time allocation completed. I know what to write and have a time plan to write it in. Due date is 15th, which really means 12th as we're away that day, and I need to get it bound. So next Wed, the 10th, is my deadline and I hope to be finished writing by this Wed. Fingers crossed it isn't too sore to sit!
This baby is apparently in the textbook cephalic position (head down, bum up) but I have my doubts as previously mentioned. Baby is up and down anyway as my bump is definitely raised in the middle. Although she does seem to be slightly over to my left side, even though her heartbeat is nearly always on the right. She must have her head down right and her bum off to the left. I have distinctly bruised ribs, her kicks are vicious sometimes and right now she seems to have a foot or similar locked underneath my ribcage. Ouchie!
O and I had a happy time shining his torch at the bump this evening and watching baby squirm. I trust this isn't unpleasant for her as it is presumably a red glow rather than a bright light, and it was recommended by a pregnancy guide.
Dissertation progresses! 1500 words added tonight, all heading done and time allocation completed. I know what to write and have a time plan to write it in. Due date is 15th, which really means 12th as we're away that day, and I need to get it bound. So next Wed, the 10th, is my deadline and I hope to be finished writing by this Wed. Fingers crossed it isn't too sore to sit!
Friday 29 July 2011
Routine reflection
Midwife check today.
BP is 120/80 which is the best it's been for years. Urine is almost colourless, clear of any ick. I have no swelling and baby is kicking and her heart is beating away steadily. The bloods that were taken last week were all fine so I have no anaemia or rogue antibodies, or any infection or glucose problems.
I am measuring 34cm, which is the size for 34 weeks, which in turn is the 3 weeks ahead I have always been (for now I presume that's down to my lardy tummy of pre-pregnancy, possibly combined with excessive doughnut consumption in trimester one). Two weeks ago I was measuring just one week ahead and was worried the growth had slowed. I am now taking this as differing measuring techniques from different midwives.
So the pregnancy is doing well. I am personally doing less well, but minor discomfort is easily tolerable in the face of a healthy pregnancy. Nothing that ails me is of any risk to the pregnancy so I can live with it. And as the pregnancy has cured my blood pressure and sore neck, as well as giving me a year off, I can't complain at all.
I do feel extraordinarily lucky. To have effortlessly conceived three children having only "tried" once. I additionally conceived two non viable pregnancies, but they were neither planned nor established enough to count. I have had no pregnancy scares, and all has been smooth. My twins are perfect and so far there have been no problems with my daughter. The fatalistic voice in my head tells me it is too good to be true but I can't think like that. I believe being a mother is my true role in life and I am enjoying it and hopefully making a good job of it.
BP is 120/80 which is the best it's been for years. Urine is almost colourless, clear of any ick. I have no swelling and baby is kicking and her heart is beating away steadily. The bloods that were taken last week were all fine so I have no anaemia or rogue antibodies, or any infection or glucose problems.
I am measuring 34cm, which is the size for 34 weeks, which in turn is the 3 weeks ahead I have always been (for now I presume that's down to my lardy tummy of pre-pregnancy, possibly combined with excessive doughnut consumption in trimester one). Two weeks ago I was measuring just one week ahead and was worried the growth had slowed. I am now taking this as differing measuring techniques from different midwives.
So the pregnancy is doing well. I am personally doing less well, but minor discomfort is easily tolerable in the face of a healthy pregnancy. Nothing that ails me is of any risk to the pregnancy so I can live with it. And as the pregnancy has cured my blood pressure and sore neck, as well as giving me a year off, I can't complain at all.
I do feel extraordinarily lucky. To have effortlessly conceived three children having only "tried" once. I additionally conceived two non viable pregnancies, but they were neither planned nor established enough to count. I have had no pregnancy scares, and all has been smooth. My twins are perfect and so far there have been no problems with my daughter. The fatalistic voice in my head tells me it is too good to be true but I can't think like that. I believe being a mother is my true role in life and I am enjoying it and hopefully making a good job of it.
Thursday 28 July 2011
Feel the burn
Oh, the heartburn has taken off, we now have daytime heartburn. Today I have eaten:
Alpen for breakfast
Mushroom soup and a roll for lunch (coke to drink)
A kit kat mid afternoon
A cupcake at teatime
Mushroom soup for tea.
What gave me heartburn from that lot? The kit kat, and the second lot of soup. Go figure. I had a chocolate mousse following the indigestible soup, and that fixed it for a bit. Then I had a bath and the lying down-ness of that kicked off full on heartburn and the crazy cough. That is not present by day, but does seem to be relieved by my asthma inhaler so I can presume that my asthma is triggered by squashed lungs. Which makes sense really.
A glass of water seems to aid both ailments temporarily, and gaviscon gives short term relief to the burn.
My omnipresent cushion is proving a godsend. Assuming I drive to everywhere I go and lay a cushion everywhere I sit, I can deal with the pelvic pain. Either that or it's eased off a bit, but I'm not overly keen to test that out. I will find out in three weeks when the boys go back to school and I have to do the pesky school run. Hubby is confident he can do the morning runs (I will have to do the first day however) so I just have to get them at home time for 6 weeks (max). I will take over both again once baby is out and I can walk again as I will woefully need to get some level of fitness back. My calves are shrinking daily! Baby and I shall wander up and down to school and get Mummy a semblance of fitness.
One of the ladies on my Mums Due iVillage board who was a week or so ahead of me had her baby today.
!!!!!!!!!
She has had problems and seemed to be expecting this (I am her friend on Facebook but I'm not sure if she realises), as well as having had a least one baby at 32 weeks previously. Her comment today was that her baby girl needed a bit of help breathing. Fingers crossed all remains well there.
(and selfishly, please don't let my baby spontaneously appear any time sooner than mid sept, or for my health to require her removal prior to that).
Dissertation is not happening. I have a fortnight left to do it, and get it in. 10,000 in 10 days say: that's 1000 a day WITHOUT FAIL. I'll go for 2000 a day (ha!) and reassess my progress on Monday. Then perhaps admit it's not going to be done and find out what happens if it's not.
I want it out of the way so I can start worrying about other things, like the pigsty we live in.
A later update...
Sleep not happening at 1.30am. Reasons:
- Heartburn
- Excruciating pelvic pain on moving.
- The only position which relieves heartburn in any way results in sore pelvis and wriggles from baby who doesn't seem to like that.
Sigh.
Alpen for breakfast
Mushroom soup and a roll for lunch (coke to drink)
A kit kat mid afternoon
A cupcake at teatime
Mushroom soup for tea.
What gave me heartburn from that lot? The kit kat, and the second lot of soup. Go figure. I had a chocolate mousse following the indigestible soup, and that fixed it for a bit. Then I had a bath and the lying down-ness of that kicked off full on heartburn and the crazy cough. That is not present by day, but does seem to be relieved by my asthma inhaler so I can presume that my asthma is triggered by squashed lungs. Which makes sense really.
A glass of water seems to aid both ailments temporarily, and gaviscon gives short term relief to the burn.
My omnipresent cushion is proving a godsend. Assuming I drive to everywhere I go and lay a cushion everywhere I sit, I can deal with the pelvic pain. Either that or it's eased off a bit, but I'm not overly keen to test that out. I will find out in three weeks when the boys go back to school and I have to do the pesky school run. Hubby is confident he can do the morning runs (I will have to do the first day however) so I just have to get them at home time for 6 weeks (max). I will take over both again once baby is out and I can walk again as I will woefully need to get some level of fitness back. My calves are shrinking daily! Baby and I shall wander up and down to school and get Mummy a semblance of fitness.
One of the ladies on my Mums Due iVillage board who was a week or so ahead of me had her baby today.
!!!!!!!!!
She has had problems and seemed to be expecting this (I am her friend on Facebook but I'm not sure if she realises), as well as having had a least one baby at 32 weeks previously. Her comment today was that her baby girl needed a bit of help breathing. Fingers crossed all remains well there.
(and selfishly, please don't let my baby spontaneously appear any time sooner than mid sept, or for my health to require her removal prior to that).
Dissertation is not happening. I have a fortnight left to do it, and get it in. 10,000 in 10 days say: that's 1000 a day WITHOUT FAIL. I'll go for 2000 a day (ha!) and reassess my progress on Monday. Then perhaps admit it's not going to be done and find out what happens if it's not.
I want it out of the way so I can start worrying about other things, like the pigsty we live in.
A later update...
Sleep not happening at 1.30am. Reasons:
- Heartburn
- Excruciating pelvic pain on moving.
- The only position which relieves heartburn in any way results in sore pelvis and wriggles from baby who doesn't seem to like that.
Sigh.
Wednesday 27 July 2011
To sit
Today we went to the cinema, for the much anticipated Cars 2. Which was ace, incidentally.
I took a cushion with me, having established that sitting is painful. Lo and behold: it works. I'm not entirely convinced how a) I feel bruised rather than misaligned or b) how the pain is alleviated by cushioning, but it stops the sitting pain. So meals out may be back on the menu, and driving on a cushion proved to be comfortable again, which it wasn't.
The humble cushion. I'm not sure why I haven't tried it before, I've had the cushions/chair/footstool combo working for some weeks now, and that appears to allow "resetting" of the old pelvis.
Now it is 1am and sleep is not looking likely. For only the second time, I have this crazy cough/heartburn thing. The heartburn I am more used to, sometimes it is so bad I have to be upright or the burning hurts too much. When I was in late pregnancy with the twins I was guzzling gaviscon constantly, so this is something expected. But the cough is weird. It's not like a normal cough, although it does feel chesty. There is nothing much written about it in books or online, so I'm a bit lost as to what and why. General why: lungs are squashed. Specific why and what to do about it: nada. A friend of mine had the cough in late pregnancy so I shall have to question her. If I remember correctly, she was utterly miserable with it and could do nothing for it. Ah well. Maybe she discovered something and didn't mention. Don't know, can hope. Last time I think using my inhaler (for asthma) helped but I'm a bit twitchy about using that as I know it also dilates blood vessels as well as airways. Although you'd think the coughing and subsequent/causative breathlessness can't be good for baby or me. I think it's time for the inhaler.
I am guessing the heartburn and cough are down to excess movement from baby today. She went daft through most of the film, the noise presumably disturbed or stimulated her, and she continued to wriggle for most of the rest of the day.
Unpleasant side effect of unpleasant symptom: pelvic floor is not up to excessive coughing. Yuk. The level of ick in pregnancy is endless.
I took a cushion with me, having established that sitting is painful. Lo and behold: it works. I'm not entirely convinced how a) I feel bruised rather than misaligned or b) how the pain is alleviated by cushioning, but it stops the sitting pain. So meals out may be back on the menu, and driving on a cushion proved to be comfortable again, which it wasn't.
The humble cushion. I'm not sure why I haven't tried it before, I've had the cushions/chair/footstool combo working for some weeks now, and that appears to allow "resetting" of the old pelvis.
Now it is 1am and sleep is not looking likely. For only the second time, I have this crazy cough/heartburn thing. The heartburn I am more used to, sometimes it is so bad I have to be upright or the burning hurts too much. When I was in late pregnancy with the twins I was guzzling gaviscon constantly, so this is something expected. But the cough is weird. It's not like a normal cough, although it does feel chesty. There is nothing much written about it in books or online, so I'm a bit lost as to what and why. General why: lungs are squashed. Specific why and what to do about it: nada. A friend of mine had the cough in late pregnancy so I shall have to question her. If I remember correctly, she was utterly miserable with it and could do nothing for it. Ah well. Maybe she discovered something and didn't mention. Don't know, can hope. Last time I think using my inhaler (for asthma) helped but I'm a bit twitchy about using that as I know it also dilates blood vessels as well as airways. Although you'd think the coughing and subsequent/causative breathlessness can't be good for baby or me. I think it's time for the inhaler.
I am guessing the heartburn and cough are down to excess movement from baby today. She went daft through most of the film, the noise presumably disturbed or stimulated her, and she continued to wriggle for most of the rest of the day.
Unpleasant side effect of unpleasant symptom: pelvic floor is not up to excessive coughing. Yuk. The level of ick in pregnancy is endless.
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Pootling around the house
Hubby's car is being looked at so he's stolen mine to get to work. Given that I can't make it past the end of the street on foot (and there's not much to do between here and there) we are in the house today. The boys' great aunt (who is only a decade older than us!) has taken them to the park, which is ace, except it's a bit of a hike for them and I'm concerned about overtired boys.
I'm so tired today. I cannot get motivated to write any dissertation. I should theoretically get some done while the boys are out, but I'd rather kip. Trouble with that is that I then don't sleep at night, but am too tired to work. It's the getting started that's tricky. I've got less than 3 weeks left!!! We go away two weeks on Friday and I have to submit it by then as the due date is the Monday we return. And I need to allow time for binding etc.
I shall watch Neighbours and then do an hour. That's a fair compromise.
Sleep last night was better, but interrupted for no obvious reason. Possibly just needing to pee. I haven't left the house today but did some housework so I am hurting because of that. It is not possible to do any form of housework without bending at all, and there's only so much even willing five year olds can help with. I quite enjoy my park-keeper effort of picking up rubbish with my picker-upper, except it's no good for pieces of paper and the likes. It is also good for the elusive socks that wander into every corner. Mostly I pick up everything non binnable in an area onto a table or similar, then I can sort and distribute.
Oh that reminds me, I binned some documents as I seem to have recycled all of the papers, good and bad. I must retrieve those. At least the recycling is all clean paper!
Dishwasher: can't do, I can only do the top rack as I can neither reach the lower rack nor the low cupboard the plates and bowls live in.
Hoovering and sweeping: I can sweep, I can't collect the sweeping. I can't hoover at all. Most of our floors are wooden or vinyl (carpet only in bedrooms) and O is getting better at sweeping up the collected sweepings with a dustpan. Mopping is fine!
Washing: not too bad, but I struggle to hang it up. Solution: small loads that all fit on the higher rungs.
It occurs to me not for the first (or thousandth) time that summers without a garden are even more impossible the older the kids get. I need outside space for them to run about in, to dry washing in, and just to be in. Hopefully this will be the last garden-free summer. Hopefully.
Foetal movement regular and reassuring. Nothing else unusual.
I'm so tired today. I cannot get motivated to write any dissertation. I should theoretically get some done while the boys are out, but I'd rather kip. Trouble with that is that I then don't sleep at night, but am too tired to work. It's the getting started that's tricky. I've got less than 3 weeks left!!! We go away two weeks on Friday and I have to submit it by then as the due date is the Monday we return. And I need to allow time for binding etc.
I shall watch Neighbours and then do an hour. That's a fair compromise.
Sleep last night was better, but interrupted for no obvious reason. Possibly just needing to pee. I haven't left the house today but did some housework so I am hurting because of that. It is not possible to do any form of housework without bending at all, and there's only so much even willing five year olds can help with. I quite enjoy my park-keeper effort of picking up rubbish with my picker-upper, except it's no good for pieces of paper and the likes. It is also good for the elusive socks that wander into every corner. Mostly I pick up everything non binnable in an area onto a table or similar, then I can sort and distribute.
Oh that reminds me, I binned some documents as I seem to have recycled all of the papers, good and bad. I must retrieve those. At least the recycling is all clean paper!
Dishwasher: can't do, I can only do the top rack as I can neither reach the lower rack nor the low cupboard the plates and bowls live in.
Hoovering and sweeping: I can sweep, I can't collect the sweeping. I can't hoover at all. Most of our floors are wooden or vinyl (carpet only in bedrooms) and O is getting better at sweeping up the collected sweepings with a dustpan. Mopping is fine!
Washing: not too bad, but I struggle to hang it up. Solution: small loads that all fit on the higher rungs.
It occurs to me not for the first (or thousandth) time that summers without a garden are even more impossible the older the kids get. I need outside space for them to run about in, to dry washing in, and just to be in. Hopefully this will be the last garden-free summer. Hopefully.
Foetal movement regular and reassuring. Nothing else unusual.
Monday 25 July 2011
To tolerate or not to tolerate
I'm finding people difficult.
I seem to have differing parenting views to everyone else, but if I try and express that it comes across as very smug and rude. Thoughts that involve "rod" and "own back" pass through my brain a lot when discovering what people do. Examples not forthcoming as I don't want to cause offence. Just in case.
I'm also finding people's attitude to what's going on in the news irritating. Who cares what tabloid journalists do? If a young girl dies from drug abuse, that's sad, it doesn't mean I liked her music. If lots of youths get gunned down in Oslo shouldn't we be saddened a lot more than by the two previous issues?
Gah.
Pregnancy related stuff: sore sore sore, had lunch out today and found it nearly impossible to walk after sitting for an hour tops. Oh grand. So lunch is out as well as dinner, until such time as I have a new companion wherever I go.
I am concerned that I'm lacking amniotic fluid. There doesn't seem to be much there. Midwife on Friday. I shall have to remember to mention it.
Foetal movement was frequent through the night and most of today. Heart rate remains constant. I wish I had an upcoming scan for reassurance, there's nothing obviously wrong, I've just got to that stage where I'm worrying. It's been 10 weeks since my last scan, I've got 10 weeks to go. Middle ground, panic time. I may just book a 3d one. I probably won't.
Actually, although I have almost 10 weeks to go, she is hopefully to be delivered 9 weeks today!!
Ouchie. It hurts to move. I just adjusted my position from lying down to lying down a little differently and owwww. That hurt!
Bump hurts. Pelvis hurts. Calves hurt. Hurt hurt hurt. And people are annoying, damn them.
I seem to have differing parenting views to everyone else, but if I try and express that it comes across as very smug and rude. Thoughts that involve "rod" and "own back" pass through my brain a lot when discovering what people do. Examples not forthcoming as I don't want to cause offence. Just in case.
I'm also finding people's attitude to what's going on in the news irritating. Who cares what tabloid journalists do? If a young girl dies from drug abuse, that's sad, it doesn't mean I liked her music. If lots of youths get gunned down in Oslo shouldn't we be saddened a lot more than by the two previous issues?
Gah.
Pregnancy related stuff: sore sore sore, had lunch out today and found it nearly impossible to walk after sitting for an hour tops. Oh grand. So lunch is out as well as dinner, until such time as I have a new companion wherever I go.
I am concerned that I'm lacking amniotic fluid. There doesn't seem to be much there. Midwife on Friday. I shall have to remember to mention it.
Foetal movement was frequent through the night and most of today. Heart rate remains constant. I wish I had an upcoming scan for reassurance, there's nothing obviously wrong, I've just got to that stage where I'm worrying. It's been 10 weeks since my last scan, I've got 10 weeks to go. Middle ground, panic time. I may just book a 3d one. I probably won't.
Actually, although I have almost 10 weeks to go, she is hopefully to be delivered 9 weeks today!!
Ouchie. It hurts to move. I just adjusted my position from lying down to lying down a little differently and owwww. That hurt!
Bump hurts. Pelvis hurts. Calves hurt. Hurt hurt hurt. And people are annoying, damn them.
Sunday 24 July 2011
New stuff part 796
Well, I went to go swimming today and discovered that my only remaining costume which still fitted, didn't fit. So off to mothercare went I. I now have a maternity tankini. Bliss! Two parts, so visiting the toilet is possible (and frequent at this stage). Shorts, so my bikini line isn't on display. Longline top so tummy is still covered.
I will never wear a conventional swimming costume again. Shorts are the future. Although I'm not liking the gap most non maternity tankinis have. There are non gap ones. I will find the perfect one.
For now, I have me a smashing one.
Whilst in mothercare I was given the new catalogues. Marvellous. And so much cuteness. Santa outfits for baby girls!! Which also reminds me that I will have a newborn at Halloween. Happy joy joy, a pumpkin she shall be.
So much girl stuff to buy. I am seriously looking forward to dolls...
I will never wear a conventional swimming costume again. Shorts are the future. Although I'm not liking the gap most non maternity tankinis have. There are non gap ones. I will find the perfect one.
For now, I have me a smashing one.
Whilst in mothercare I was given the new catalogues. Marvellous. And so much cuteness. Santa outfits for baby girls!! Which also reminds me that I will have a newborn at Halloween. Happy joy joy, a pumpkin she shall be.
So much girl stuff to buy. I am seriously looking forward to dolls...
Friday 22 July 2011
If you're narky and you know it...
...get stuff free.
Yes, I am that shallow.
Today's post brought with it my welcome pack from Sainsburys Little Ones club, with a voucher to get a free mum and baby pack (worth £9.99) as well as some reading fodder. Included in said fodder was info for other baby clubs, so I've now signed up to Hipp, Heinz and SMA as well.
Free stuff to date:
Boots: change bag with nappy purchase + not that useful vouchers valid till May past. No products yet.
Bounty: lots of samples, more to come
Cow & Gate: cute cuddly cow + info
Aptimel: cute cuddly polar bear + info
Tesco: no freebies! Expected mum and baby pack! Not that useful vouchers, parking permit included. Info quite good.
Asda: vouchers + info. May have been a voucher for half price mum and baby pack (memory rot, didn't get anyway) but no freebies.
Sainsburys: a mum and baby pack to collect from store with nappy purchase. Info + better vouchers, valid till January.
Best freebie was the subscription gift from Practical Parenting - breast pump + thermal case + gizmos - but I did have to actually buy the subscription to get that. The others are shamelessly touting their wares, but I have only so far had to shell out for the nappies in Boots to get the change bag (which is nice)
To come:
info + samples from SMA (boo)
Baby comforter from Hipp
Not sure from Heinz. Samples, I think.
A surprise gift from Avent, which I believe to be a bottle. To be sent in the third trimester - I'm there!!!
I love free stuff. I quite like getting stuff anyway, but free stuff is super nice.
I did send an email last night to Fife Council to express my displeasure at their lack of help for immobile pregnant ladies. No reply as yet, unamazingly.
Swimming lessons are done, which is just as well as the stairs have got progressively harder as the week has gone on; today was almost unbearable. And we have struggled to get up and out early enough, R for one would sleep in much later. School will be tough to adjust to again, but hey, we did it last year having never done it before (they had afternoon sessions at nursery), although I was mobile and sleeping then. Ho hum.
Very sore pelvis. Very acutely sensitive nipples. I am having an early afternoon bath to try and alleviate both. I did manage to procure bra extenders in Dunelm
Mill for £1.45 each. Hurrah!
Much sleeping required this weekend. It does remain to be seen if I'll manage the dissertation. Another week and I may have to cry off, although I do feel I'll be even less likely to get it done with a baby. Except I'd feel well myself. Hmm.
Three weeks to do it? I can, surely?
Yes, I am that shallow.
Today's post brought with it my welcome pack from Sainsburys Little Ones club, with a voucher to get a free mum and baby pack (worth £9.99) as well as some reading fodder. Included in said fodder was info for other baby clubs, so I've now signed up to Hipp, Heinz and SMA as well.
Free stuff to date:
Boots: change bag with nappy purchase + not that useful vouchers valid till May past. No products yet.
Bounty: lots of samples, more to come
Cow & Gate: cute cuddly cow + info
Aptimel: cute cuddly polar bear + info
Tesco: no freebies! Expected mum and baby pack! Not that useful vouchers, parking permit included. Info quite good.
Asda: vouchers + info. May have been a voucher for half price mum and baby pack (memory rot, didn't get anyway) but no freebies.
Sainsburys: a mum and baby pack to collect from store with nappy purchase. Info + better vouchers, valid till January.
Best freebie was the subscription gift from Practical Parenting - breast pump + thermal case + gizmos - but I did have to actually buy the subscription to get that. The others are shamelessly touting their wares, but I have only so far had to shell out for the nappies in Boots to get the change bag (which is nice)
To come:
info + samples from SMA (boo)
Baby comforter from Hipp
Not sure from Heinz. Samples, I think.
A surprise gift from Avent, which I believe to be a bottle. To be sent in the third trimester - I'm there!!!
I love free stuff. I quite like getting stuff anyway, but free stuff is super nice.
I did send an email last night to Fife Council to express my displeasure at their lack of help for immobile pregnant ladies. No reply as yet, unamazingly.
Swimming lessons are done, which is just as well as the stairs have got progressively harder as the week has gone on; today was almost unbearable. And we have struggled to get up and out early enough, R for one would sleep in much later. School will be tough to adjust to again, but hey, we did it last year having never done it before (they had afternoon sessions at nursery), although I was mobile and sleeping then. Ho hum.
Very sore pelvis. Very acutely sensitive nipples. I am having an early afternoon bath to try and alleviate both. I did manage to procure bra extenders in Dunelm
Mill for £1.45 each. Hurrah!
Much sleeping required this weekend. It does remain to be seen if I'll manage the dissertation. Another week and I may have to cry off, although I do feel I'll be even less likely to get it done with a baby. Except I'd feel well myself. Hmm.
Three weeks to do it? I can, surely?
Thursday 21 July 2011
Sore, tired, sore, tired
Gah. Very sore today, the daily swimming lessons at the pool with lots of steps, not being able to use crutches and immense heat is getting to me. Painfully. Also, we went to Pizza Hut for tea and I can safely say that I won't be eating out again in a hurry. Ouchie! Pelvis v v sore when I sit down for a prolonged time, unless it's on my cushioned chair of cushionness.
This isn't a special chair, it's a regular Ikea Poang, with a huge fluffy cushion on top. Seated comfort, but only in conjunction with my feet raised on a similar huge fluffy cushion on a foot stool. The feet up position seems to help as much as the cushioning. Sigh.
New excruciating pain today: my
right nipple is on fire. Extremely sore and sensitive. Additional boobie problem, my bras (newly purchased jumbo sports bras no less) are all suddenly too tight round my back. I guess my ribs have expanded, I need some bra expanders. Debenhams sell them, I need to get me to Debenhams. Easier said than done unfortunately as it is in the middle of the pedestrianised high street.
Which reminds me of a nark. Some councils issue temporary blue badges for pregnant ladies with pelvic pain. I currently have to drive to places I wouldn't dream of taking the car, because I can't walk far enough. I also need to get parked close to where I want to be, and I need a reasonable sized space. A temporary badge would allow me disabled parking privileges and also free parking. I object to paying £1 to park 500 yards from my home while infinitely more mobile people than I park willy nilly. Fife Council issue temporary badges for people who have a temporary condition that is expected to last more than 12 months. Thank you Fife Council! I may complain, I probably won't. If I can find someone to email I might.
I'm not enjoying it today. Even the kicks are predominantly painful over amazing. Oh to be at 39 weeks...
This isn't a special chair, it's a regular Ikea Poang, with a huge fluffy cushion on top. Seated comfort, but only in conjunction with my feet raised on a similar huge fluffy cushion on a foot stool. The feet up position seems to help as much as the cushioning. Sigh.
New excruciating pain today: my
right nipple is on fire. Extremely sore and sensitive. Additional boobie problem, my bras (newly purchased jumbo sports bras no less) are all suddenly too tight round my back. I guess my ribs have expanded, I need some bra expanders. Debenhams sell them, I need to get me to Debenhams. Easier said than done unfortunately as it is in the middle of the pedestrianised high street.
Which reminds me of a nark. Some councils issue temporary blue badges for pregnant ladies with pelvic pain. I currently have to drive to places I wouldn't dream of taking the car, because I can't walk far enough. I also need to get parked close to where I want to be, and I need a reasonable sized space. A temporary badge would allow me disabled parking privileges and also free parking. I object to paying £1 to park 500 yards from my home while infinitely more mobile people than I park willy nilly. Fife Council issue temporary badges for people who have a temporary condition that is expected to last more than 12 months. Thank you Fife Council! I may complain, I probably won't. If I can find someone to email I might.
I'm not enjoying it today. Even the kicks are predominantly painful over amazing. Oh to be at 39 weeks...
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