Oh it's slow... Still, tomorrow morning my doppler should arrive and I can have a whole new game of paranoia/frustration. And I will be 18 weeks, I'm not there for a few minutes yet.
With regards to the doppler, it is likely I will be able to work it, due to not actually being an idiot, and I'll hear baby's heartbeat. Which would be exciting, I'm not convinced yet by the maybe kicks. It's still possible my digestion is getting more bubbly/poppy/fluttersome as time goes by.
I am insanely tired. As nobody is interested in taking my bloods I may well be anaemic.
I resent the lack of 16 week appointment - can you tell?
I equally well am probably fine, they did check my bloods at almost 13 weeks and I assume all was well as they haven't said otherwise. Sleep is not great at the moment, awffy uncomfortable. As such I am a bit apprehensive about the third trimester and the definite lack of comfort and sleep that ensues.
I might buy some Floradix stuff, I don't eat a lot of iron rich food at all. Calcium is sorted, I consume vast amounts of milk. I eat plenty enough fruit, but I'm not great on meat or iron rich other-things.
Are chick peas high in iron? Avocados? Hmm.
Other things that happened today: Prince William got married and a friend had a baby girl named Charlotte.
Friday 29 April 2011
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Caved
I have ordered a Doppler, it will be here in 2 days. This is probably stupid for a couple of reasons:
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
Saturday 23 April 2011
Gestating away quietly
Nothing much. Bump is huge and tense and way higher than it should be, assuming there's a correct place for it to be. It's a bit uncomfortable but nothing majorly concerning, just the odd twinge of a stretching ligament here and there. Fast movement is simply not going to happen, and sleep is limited, left sided and with strategically placed pillows. Boobs are painful, still, they're on a mission.
To Mars, I think.
I am still very tired (presumably mostly attributable to the nightly discomfort that doesn't resemble sleep) but generally feel mostly human. No more nausea and appetite is pretty normal, although I do get fuller quicker. Foetal movements seem to be on the increase, but are still not definitively foetal.
I will continue to write foetal by the way, even if virtually all have moved toward fetal.
Autocorrect wants to change fetal to feral. It's happy with foetal. This pleases me.
Tonight baby wants Chinese for tea. Who am I to deny my youngest child?
To Mars, I think.
I am still very tired (presumably mostly attributable to the nightly discomfort that doesn't resemble sleep) but generally feel mostly human. No more nausea and appetite is pretty normal, although I do get fuller quicker. Foetal movements seem to be on the increase, but are still not definitively foetal.
I will continue to write foetal by the way, even if virtually all have moved toward fetal.
Autocorrect wants to change fetal to feral. It's happy with foetal. This pleases me.
Tonight baby wants Chinese for tea. Who am I to deny my youngest child?
Wednesday 20 April 2011
Bumpy
Well, there's not a lot to say. I am 16, going on 17 (weeks) and aside from the ENORMOUS bump there's not much going on. The foetal acrobats haven't escalated enough so may just be general rumblings after all. And in the absence of a 16 week antenatal appointment, I have nothing in the way of reassurance and so am paranoid. I quite want to make an appointment with the midwife just to hear the heartbeat.
I have twice had a Doppler in my
amazon basket but have not yet actually bought one. I think I'd go mad, so I tell myself that it's only 4 weeks tomorrow till the anomaly scan, that the acrobatics will be discernibly foetal any day and that I would surely notice if anything was to go wrong.
And the bump continues to grow, as I have been told, it has increased greatly over the last two weeks while the schools were off.
Yes, I know, it isn't Easter yet, Fife are bonkers.
As I now look unarguably pregnant, I have a discussion about some aspect of pregnancy with every single mother I meet. Which is ok to a certain extent, I am rather obsessed, but just once it would be nice to not talk about it for a moment. Even the lollipop lady dismissed my inane observations about the weather in favour of asking about my next scan.
I am embarrassed by the ginormity of my stomach, it is assumed by all that I am much further on than I am. So I say that I am due in September. Well, it is 1 October I am due and while I am sure baby would hang on till she (positive thinking) is fully cooked, which will not be by 1 October, if I do get a caesarean it will be prior to that date, ie sometime in September. So it's not a lie really. If they think "September" means early September, well that's their mistake. Ahem.
It's still embarrassing, I need to get me a new coat. It's not that big really, I'm not all bump by a long way, nor does it stick out or rise high, but it sure is a bump and everybody seems compelled to comment. Sigh.
To self: a growing bump indicates a growing foetus. Remember this.
Symptoms at present are limited to what I assume is round ligament pain (niggly ache from down low to each side, worsened by movement. Not that painful, but there and escalating) and a very persistent headache. I also have blocked ears as a result of the last sinus assault but that isn't actually a pregnancy symptom, just what happens with consecutive untreated colds.
The need for sweets and doughnuts has passed (ish), I am now going wild for fruit and don't fancy stodgy food. No more sausages for breakfast, melon is the choice of the week.
I have twice had a Doppler in my
amazon basket but have not yet actually bought one. I think I'd go mad, so I tell myself that it's only 4 weeks tomorrow till the anomaly scan, that the acrobatics will be discernibly foetal any day and that I would surely notice if anything was to go wrong.
And the bump continues to grow, as I have been told, it has increased greatly over the last two weeks while the schools were off.
Yes, I know, it isn't Easter yet, Fife are bonkers.
As I now look unarguably pregnant, I have a discussion about some aspect of pregnancy with every single mother I meet. Which is ok to a certain extent, I am rather obsessed, but just once it would be nice to not talk about it for a moment. Even the lollipop lady dismissed my inane observations about the weather in favour of asking about my next scan.
I am embarrassed by the ginormity of my stomach, it is assumed by all that I am much further on than I am. So I say that I am due in September. Well, it is 1 October I am due and while I am sure baby would hang on till she (positive thinking) is fully cooked, which will not be by 1 October, if I do get a caesarean it will be prior to that date, ie sometime in September. So it's not a lie really. If they think "September" means early September, well that's their mistake. Ahem.
It's still embarrassing, I need to get me a new coat. It's not that big really, I'm not all bump by a long way, nor does it stick out or rise high, but it sure is a bump and everybody seems compelled to comment. Sigh.
To self: a growing bump indicates a growing foetus. Remember this.
Symptoms at present are limited to what I assume is round ligament pain (niggly ache from down low to each side, worsened by movement. Not that painful, but there and escalating) and a very persistent headache. I also have blocked ears as a result of the last sinus assault but that isn't actually a pregnancy symptom, just what happens with consecutive untreated colds.
The need for sweets and doughnuts has passed (ish), I am now going wild for fruit and don't fancy stodgy food. No more sausages for breakfast, melon is the choice of the week.
Tuesday 12 April 2011
Unmellow yellow
Low point: a hint of yellow on the toilet paper. Yikes!!!!!!!!
Yellow. Not red, green, brown, smelly or bad. Just a bit yellow. Aka normal.
But still. Not clear. Huge panic plus tears, but mercifully no actual contact with medics as even Dr Google couldn't insinuate doom and gloom from a touch of yellow in absence of any other symptoms.
Although I'm a bit sore today. Just achy. If worse tomorrow I may venture in the direction of a midwife. Only if worse and in the presence of something more than a bit yellowish.
I went into Mamas and Papas today as the buggy du jour in my head is their Zoom. Its kind of massive, but buggies seem to be. Except the Quinny Zapp Plus. Which has been rejected by moi on account of the seat needing to be removed to fold the bugger.
Anyways, Zoom looks proper good and is currently a bargainous price. A lady with a tiny baby had a Sola, which is exactly the same, and I asked her if she was pleased with it. She said she was very pleased, and I realised afterwards that I did not even look at her baby. Cardinal sin!!
I got no attention from the staff in a near deserted shop, so I need to up my yummy mummy state before returning. Huh.
Breasts have gone totally mad. I think my problems breastfeeding the twins may have been down to lack of preparation by the boobs themselves. They are certainly preparing a LOT more this time. Ouchie.
Must mean a girl???
Yellow. Not red, green, brown, smelly or bad. Just a bit yellow. Aka normal.
But still. Not clear. Huge panic plus tears, but mercifully no actual contact with medics as even Dr Google couldn't insinuate doom and gloom from a touch of yellow in absence of any other symptoms.
Although I'm a bit sore today. Just achy. If worse tomorrow I may venture in the direction of a midwife. Only if worse and in the presence of something more than a bit yellowish.
I went into Mamas and Papas today as the buggy du jour in my head is their Zoom. Its kind of massive, but buggies seem to be. Except the Quinny Zapp Plus. Which has been rejected by moi on account of the seat needing to be removed to fold the bugger.
Anyways, Zoom looks proper good and is currently a bargainous price. A lady with a tiny baby had a Sola, which is exactly the same, and I asked her if she was pleased with it. She said she was very pleased, and I realised afterwards that I did not even look at her baby. Cardinal sin!!
I got no attention from the staff in a near deserted shop, so I need to up my yummy mummy state before returning. Huh.
Breasts have gone totally mad. I think my problems breastfeeding the twins may have been down to lack of preparation by the boobs themselves. They are certainly preparing a LOT more this time. Ouchie.
Must mean a girl???
Monday 11 April 2011
Endless worry
The paranoia's back.
There is no reason for this.
I just don't feel very pregnant. Well, apart from the still-mental breasts and the slight nausea and the massive tummy. Oh, and the bleeding gums and nose.
I'm not sure what I need. Weekly scans? Regular midwife heartbeat checks? Definite kicks?
I need to keep in my head the image of a very healthy foetus jumping around through my first scan. And remind myself of my conviction of twins/missed miscarriage before. It's all in my head. I know it is. But reassurance would be nice, and I don't get that without a hypochondriac attack for another 5 weeks. That comes with the apprehension of what-will-they-find???!!! for the anomaly scan. And the minor niggle of having NO boys names. It could well be a boy. I don't know, my intuition is well off this pregnancy. I do think the foetus looked like a girl on the scan, but I'm not au fait with the facial differences between male and female foetuses.
I have sinusitis. I feel miserable.
There is no reason for this.
I just don't feel very pregnant. Well, apart from the still-mental breasts and the slight nausea and the massive tummy. Oh, and the bleeding gums and nose.
I'm not sure what I need. Weekly scans? Regular midwife heartbeat checks? Definite kicks?
I need to keep in my head the image of a very healthy foetus jumping around through my first scan. And remind myself of my conviction of twins/missed miscarriage before. It's all in my head. I know it is. But reassurance would be nice, and I don't get that without a hypochondriac attack for another 5 weeks. That comes with the apprehension of what-will-they-find???!!! for the anomaly scan. And the minor niggle of having NO boys names. It could well be a boy. I don't know, my intuition is well off this pregnancy. I do think the foetus looked like a girl on the scan, but I'm not au fait with the facial differences between male and female foetuses.
I have sinusitis. I feel miserable.
Saturday 9 April 2011
Snot 3: the revenge of the Snot
I'm in the process of getting another cold. Today I have progressed through "my nose is a bit runny", through "I seem to be sneezing a bit", past "ok, my nose is running a lot" and onto "I feel like death". Goodie goodie gum drops, another cold without the drugs to see me through.
We have been on our caravanning holibags to Wales, which was very chilled what with having nothing particular to do. So I'm a lot less worked up about everything and have done a lot of sleeping.
This last week took me from 14 to 15 weeks and so was week 15. Its odd, I feel relatively normal, except I have an icky taste in my mouth and feel a little bit nauseous now and then. My appetite is minimal and I get full very quickly, so I'm eating a lot less. Which is just as well as I may not feel very pregnant but I sure look pregnant. Or not, it looks like fat in a pregnant shape and is all confined to my abdomen. But it looks lardy, not fecund. Maternity clothes essential so as to look more pregnant and less lardy, but most are vast. I don't currently fit into clothes a size up from normal - because the wide part is right on my waistline.
I'm not sure why I have a waisthigh bump. It's way too high. She scanned me there as my excessively full bladder was pushing it up, but that is most certainly not the case with my permanently elevated bump, bladder is never full these days.
Baby is currently around 10cm long. That's not exactly big. I continue to feel flurries of something. Having been away from the bath all week I haven't had the bathtime flurries, but there were distinct somethings when I drove over very bumpy roads. My bowels don't do that. I look forward to definite kicks as a reassurance of there being a baby in there.
Nothing now till 20 weeks and 5 days, which is the day of the anomaly scan. Thats AGES. Not even a midwife BP check. This doesn't rest too well with feeling not that pregnant. I guess looking increasingly pregnant will have to do as reassurance for now. Definite movements are imminent also.
Well done me for not buying a Doppler. I honestly think that is the way of madness, but it would be nice to hear a heartbeat.
I wonder if the midwife would send me packing if I went along for a checkup anyway????
At the 20 week scan I find out the flavour, I can't wait for that. If they can't tell, I'll be paying for a private scan to find out, there is NO WAY I'm waiting till the birth.
Today I am 15 weeks. And onwards to week 16...
We have been on our caravanning holibags to Wales, which was very chilled what with having nothing particular to do. So I'm a lot less worked up about everything and have done a lot of sleeping.
This last week took me from 14 to 15 weeks and so was week 15. Its odd, I feel relatively normal, except I have an icky taste in my mouth and feel a little bit nauseous now and then. My appetite is minimal and I get full very quickly, so I'm eating a lot less. Which is just as well as I may not feel very pregnant but I sure look pregnant. Or not, it looks like fat in a pregnant shape and is all confined to my abdomen. But it looks lardy, not fecund. Maternity clothes essential so as to look more pregnant and less lardy, but most are vast. I don't currently fit into clothes a size up from normal - because the wide part is right on my waistline.
I'm not sure why I have a waisthigh bump. It's way too high. She scanned me there as my excessively full bladder was pushing it up, but that is most certainly not the case with my permanently elevated bump, bladder is never full these days.
Baby is currently around 10cm long. That's not exactly big. I continue to feel flurries of something. Having been away from the bath all week I haven't had the bathtime flurries, but there were distinct somethings when I drove over very bumpy roads. My bowels don't do that. I look forward to definite kicks as a reassurance of there being a baby in there.
Nothing now till 20 weeks and 5 days, which is the day of the anomaly scan. Thats AGES. Not even a midwife BP check. This doesn't rest too well with feeling not that pregnant. I guess looking increasingly pregnant will have to do as reassurance for now. Definite movements are imminent also.
Well done me for not buying a Doppler. I honestly think that is the way of madness, but it would be nice to hear a heartbeat.
I wonder if the midwife would send me packing if I went along for a checkup anyway????
At the 20 week scan I find out the flavour, I can't wait for that. If they can't tell, I'll be paying for a private scan to find out, there is NO WAY I'm waiting till the birth.
Today I am 15 weeks. And onwards to week 16...
Friday 1 April 2011
Hormonal!!
Oh. I'm so narked. Everything is irritating me beyond belief.
I know I'm boring about babies. I have difficulty being interested in anything non baby. But I feel a bit like
I'M PREGNANT
and maybe that gets a bit of dispensation for being kind of crap. And maybe a bit of help with stuff would be good. I'm so tired, work is as much as I can do, so the housework is piling up. Worse than usual, I'm not what you'd call tidy.
I want this baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. I wish this time away, I want to be at the other end without the worry and stress and feeling diabolical. I want to meet my healthy baby (when s/he's cooked) and stop being pregnant.
It would help if other people were a bit more interested.
I know I'm boring about babies. I have difficulty being interested in anything non baby. But I feel a bit like
I'M PREGNANT
and maybe that gets a bit of dispensation for being kind of crap. And maybe a bit of help with stuff would be good. I'm so tired, work is as much as I can do, so the housework is piling up. Worse than usual, I'm not what you'd call tidy.
I want this baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. I wish this time away, I want to be at the other end without the worry and stress and feeling diabolical. I want to meet my healthy baby (when s/he's cooked) and stop being pregnant.
It would help if other people were a bit more interested.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)