Ow ow ow not yet thank you

32 weeks today! Hurrah!

And I hurt. A lot. In the just below the rib area, periodically tightening and being very very sore.

I don't think this is a sign of anything labourlike, I assume this is big time Braxton Hicks, but owwwwww!! But I also have backache and a touch of the runs, so I've been looking up "premature labour" and "survival at 32 weeks". Ahem.

I think I'd be more sore if it was the real thing, although I do believe it starts mildly.

Ow. Owwww. Owwwwwwwww!

Baby seems to be twisting and turning a lot. She was distinctly sideways earlier, which hurt my sides, now she seems to be shifting again. Ow. I have hard knee like parts sticking out of my belly.

Oh ow. It hurts again. I'm sure this isn't it, it's too early and not sore enough as per the childbirth experts, but I'm not entirely sure if I will get any sleep. Ow.

Reasons why it's almost certainly not labour:

1) I'm only 32 weeks
2) I carried twins to term. They are meant to come early
3) I'm not screaming.
4) I don't smoke
5) I don't drink
6) I'm not obese or underweight
7) I'm not malnourished

However,
1) It hurts
2) I do/did have gum disease
3) I have a lot of aspartame on a daily basis
(both these things apparently contribute to premature delivery)
4) Backache+runs+v sore hardening uterus could mean it is it.

I don't want her to come yet. The thought of her being in hospital and not in me or with me is awful. She would almost certainly be ok after a stay in hospital if she was born now, but I really don't want her to be out of me and in an incubator. I wish to incubate her myself for a while yet.

Besides, hubby is all set for his business trip next week (which he obvs would cancel in light of birthing taking place) and we're to be going away next weekend. Irrelevant in the face of healthy baby, but still, timing not good. In three weeks time it'd be ok, five weeks would be absolutely fine. And not coming till she's meant to would be best, if painful in the meantime.

I'm being paranoid, I know I am, but it is alarming. I get very very sore, then not sore at all. Then a short time later, sore again. Braxton Hicks or baby athletics. I'm sure. Sure I'm sure.

Grrrr.

Well, in a bid to save money, I borrowed Denise van Outen's book, "Bumpalicious" from the library. Having progressed as far as month 3, I am set to kill DVO. What a load of tosh! Incorrect and/or poor "facts" and very superficial. How lovely to have a celebrity personal trainer. How marvellous to whip up your own range of maternity wear because you're famous. Of course I was in tip top conception shape pre-conception. Of course I eat perfectly.

It is very much in the same voice as Tess Daly's. Coincidence?

So. Rejected, but I thought I'd read it anyway. In the bath.

Splash! Dunken Denise.

So, I'll have to pay for the pages of junk anyway at a rate more expensive than the kindle version. No doubt the library would want the cover price so I shall source it myself. Immensely annoying.

Kindle has a bath bag to avoid tears at bathtime. Numerous books have been bathed over the years and I ain't risking the kindle, even though it is far less drop-able.

Book may dry ok, it didn't get fully submerged. Fingers crossed, I so don't want to own it or pay money for it.

Celebrity maternity guides: rubbish rubbish rubbish. Except Mel Giedroyc's From Here to Maternity which is FAB. And possibly Myleene Klass, as she is nice enough and I haven't read her book.

Braxton Hicks are here, I think. If it is them, I've had them for ages but I'm not sure as I don't think I had them with the twins at all. This is a v tight bump now and then, and they're starting to be ouchie.

Also experiencing kicks/jabs/worrying stuff down below which does definitely hurt some. I assure myself that if worrying things happened there, something fluidy or bloody would emerge. It hasn't.

Tooth has new temporary fix. Hopefully this one will last 11 weeks+ till my daughter arrives and I remember to arrange an extraction.

A long and endless wait

Oh, this is the tedious bit.
I don't feel better, I feel super tired super grumpy, and while I feel nauseous less often, I feel much more so when I do, sometimes actually spewing.

So that's a lie. Pfft to the second semester wellness. I had to take yesterday off and spend it in bed just to function. Yippee.

I continue to have a bloated stomach of slowed down bowels and doughnuts/toast/sweets (only put on 4lb??) so it's a bit hard to tell if I'm showing for real. I sure look pregnant, but it's not real. Even if it's mighty weird - periodically my whole abdomen goes really tight. I know you can experience Braxton Hicks from early on but I would have expected that to be restricted to the uterus, which is currently lost in there somewhere.

I may look up what Braxton Hicks actually are. I don't remember that from before, but I was so obviously pregnant and very very miserable I possibly didn't notice. And that was my halcyonic first pregnancy in an unbattered uterus.

I have a permanent sour taste in my mouth. It's not nice.

The wait bit alluded to: it's 7 weeks today before anything happens. That's two weeks less than it's been since I found out I was pregnant. Which was aeons ago. That's when the anomaly scan is and until then I see noone unless hypochondria or something real and bad happens. Wah. And between now and then I have to shape my dissertation into something for a 15 minute presentation. Which is my idea of HELL and as I shall be over 19 weeks by then (it's the same week as the scan) I will be looking distinctly fecund.

I hope to feel lovely reassuring movement soon. I feel little bubbles of movement but they might well be non foetal. I want positive foetal kicking please.

I am not buying a Doppler. I'd go proper mad. Although I'm not sure listening for a heartbeat with my son's toy stethoscope qualifies me as sane.