And so it goes on

Gah. 36 or so hours in hospital and I don't seem to have progressed any. Finally my bp has stabilised with rather a lot of medication, but I don't feel too well. I wouldn't feel good going home yet.

Trouble is, they keep getting my medication so it works and reduces my bp to just the right level, then when it comes to the next dose at the same amount, it doesn't work so well. So I get more, and the more I get, the less well I feel. Contrarily, the only time I feel well is when my bp rockets.

I have been looking up how healthy babies born at 35 weeks are. Advice ranges from the scary "90% of babies survive at this stage" to the reassuring "most babies born after 34 weeks need no special care". Both my niece and step-nephew were born at 35 weeks and both were absolutely fine and home within days.

Tomorrow will see if the doctors have nailed the medication level and then I can go home and take it easy for as long as possible. I'm not too optimistic though. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be in here and monitored for another week, then baby will be delivered.

We have so much to do before we are ready for baby and whatever happens, I am unlikely to be any use until after she is born. Favours required all round, not least for getting the boys from school (and looking after them while I remain in here) and the logistics of getting everything we need into the house. My parents have cancelled their planned trip to France next week (booked after baby was known to be on her way, I did wonder as to wiseness) which is very nice of them and I hope it doesn't prove unfounded. Well, it'd be nice if it did and baby and I carried on fine until 39 weeks, but it'd be a shame if they had cancelled unnecessarily.

Baby is doing very well, I am pleased to say, and if she is to come early I hope the predictions as to her largeness prove correct. I hope to cook her for longer, but if I cannot then I hope she is well enough developed to be totally well. I will have failed her somewhat when she has done so well and I cannot fulfil the full gestation time. Sigh.

Fears of mortality emerge once more...