Today I have been reading the importance of bonding. Pah!
Skin to skin bonding isn't all that possible with two babies, so when my twins were born, I got O to bond with, and Daddy got R. O didn't ever suckle - despite every effort to encourage him - so that didn't work, and from about 6 hours after birth, R screamed the hospital down if he looked up into any face that wasn't his mummy's. Until about the age of four and a half, R was through and through a mummy's boy. Sociable and friendly, but firmly fixed on me as his number one. O, on the other hand, was the opposite. Clingy when it was just us, but if there was another option, Daddy, Granny or one of his finite selection of approved people. He would go nuts if I went to take him out of the carseat if Daddy was there. That's the one who bonded with me.
A friend of mine had her baby under general anaesthetic, after a long and traumatic labour. She had no issues with bonding either.
I firmly believe that feelings of failure and disappointment are due to expectations and the bombardment of what-you-must-do. We are led to believe that a natural birth is better, although we are thankfully not brainwashed. We are told firmly that bonding and immediate suckling are essential. And we are genuinely brainwashed into believing breast is best, to the extent that mothers are loathe to even offer a top up of formula.
Leave us alone!
We want to survive, we want a healthy child. How we get there is NOT IMPORTANT.
Nothing's changed baby bump wise, I needs the odd rant
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