Insults

I'm fed up with people and so I shall revisit a previous rant.

Yes, I'm pregnant. Woo. I have a big tummy. Please, do, comment perpetually on it.

You ARE big, aren't you? Goodness!! Are you SURE you're not having twins? 22 weeks you say? Sheesh, that's big for 22 weeks. Ha ha, the other twin must be hiding. Ha! Imagine if it was twins. Wouldn't that be sooooo funny? Are you sure it's not twins? Positive? You are big though.

First of all, I'm a bit conscious of the fact that I have a massive bump. I always have a bit of a fat belly, even when the rest of me is slim. I don't expect people to comment on it however, but no, now I'm pregnant it's ok to say I've got a big tummy. Sure it is.

To excuse myself, I did have twins before, I wasn't in the best shape pre conception, Also, I haven't gained weight elsewhere so I'm all bump. And finally, I'm not actually measuring big for my dates according to the midwife yesterday, I'm bang on average.

Besides, I'm tall. My husband is tall. My twins were 6lb2 and 7lb1, which is massive for twins. I don't expect a tiny baby.

The best came from a colleague yesterday. She commented that it was "amazing" and shook her head.

To what amazing thing were we referring?

Why, the fact that at my age and with the older children at school and all that, to be having another baby, of course. That amazing thing. More head shaking and I don't know how you'll do it.

Ahem.

I am 36, plenty older than me have had babies. And as to the age gap, can I go back to the fact that the existing children are twins, which startlingly means that there are two of them? Had I had one baby, then another after 2.5 years and then this one after another 2.5, would anyone have commented on the gap? I doubt it. Yet having the two and then a five year gap, that's amazing. I think it's a brilliant gap and that I'd have struggled to cope with a lesser gap, but what would I know?

It's a free for all to pregnant ladies, I know it's not just me. Our pregnancies are public property. Our bumps are there for the touching, any aspect of our appearance can be commented on, and the health, temperament, name and gender of the baby can be freely speculated upon. I am open
to being told how I feel about my unborn child because, yes, you do know more about that than I do. Now is also totally the time to discuss my future procreation plans.

Note sarcasm. Please note sarcasm.

Interestingly, it is primarily women who are grandmothers who offend the greatest. Younger women, especially the childless, are either uninterested or ask sensible questions and express sensible sympathy. Having given birth you become a guru (I have myself done this) and apparently once your progeny have given birth, then you are in fact a fully qualified birth and parenting counsellor.

In short, or not as the case may be, sod off everyone who wants to comment. I don't want to hear it and I've almost certainly heard it before.