Aside from the perpetual nausea that I've almost stopped noticing, I feel a different kind of sick today.
Each time I think about the scan I feel ill, short of breath and kind of faint. Which is approximately once every five minutes, for five minutes.
I am no longer concerned by number of foetuses. What I am terrified of is that they tell me there are no healthy babies inside me.
Fear one: no heartbeat/foetus
Fear two: something obviously wrong, an non-viable foetus.
Fear three: nuchal scanning flags up a high risk.
Right now there could be several in there and as long as they all have heartbeats and the correct quota of organs and chromosomes I don't care. I just want healthy!!
Once I've established there's a heartbeat etc I'll get onto worrying about any anomalies. What gender my precious bundle turns out to be is of no consequence at all, just as long as they're well.
One little girl would be nice. One little boy would be nice. Two little girls would be nice. One girl, one boy would be nice. Two little boys would be nice. JUST AS LONG AS THEY ARE OK.
I can't stop obsessing about missed miscarriages. I still feel pregnant. I still test pregnant. I so want to still be pregnant.
2 sleeps now.
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