I appear to be broken. I feel ok, yet my blood pressure remains high (very) despite medicinal intervention for a full week now. Today I have the addition of a slightly raised temperature and an increased white cell count.
Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.
But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.
But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.
So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!
As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.
What do you think?
She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.
One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.
Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.
I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.
One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.
I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.
Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.
Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.
Showing posts with label scan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scan. Show all posts
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Watching, waiting, anticipating
Well, it's practically here. The biggie. The scan where they check everything is present and correct and aligned and as should be, and as an incidental bonus to make it more exciting and less scary, they can hopefully reveal THE GENDER.
In 15 hours I shall (hopefully) know. Boy or girl. Will I have another adorable little boy or will I have the daughter I have always imagined?
My bump has gone mad. It's huge, and my bellybutton is out of sight, pointing downwards. I assume it will reappear as the bump grows some more, but it's a bit eek. And I am well and truly out of non maternity clothes, elasticated waists even are tight and uncomfortable. Boo. I weighed myself and I am 9lb heavier than I was at the start of the year. Which is ok for 20 weeks I reckon. I'm about 3 dress sizes bigger; when I was 3 dress sizes bigger I was a good couple of stones more than today. Admittedly that was a bit more evenly spread, I'm me with a fat tummy and giant boobs. Although I do seem to have an unsightly double chin as well, which is horrid. Really, I don't see why we have to be quite so repulsively unattractive during pregnancy. Voluminous body, spotty skin, lumbering movements, continuous all over body hair and stretchmarks. It's delightful. Not to mention being uber grumpy and constantly fatigued, or the inability to pay attention. In addition I seem to have had a sense of humour bypass. I am the least appealing version of me since, well, last time I was pregnant.
Pregnant women who say they feel gorgeous and, worse, men who say they find pregnant women attractive?? LIARS. All of them.
Baby is veh veh active, I am being distinctly booted regularly. Doesn't stop me listening to the heartbeat several times a day though. Obviously. Wriggly little squirmy baby she is, I had better not be kept in the dark as to whether she is a boy.
To do: watch The Apprentice, go to bed, attempt to sleep, take chiddlers to school, go to work for an hour, leave work, go to maternity hospital, collect notes then HAVE SCAN. Spend rest of the day excitedly looking at blue/pink things.
I can't imagine blue.
When I was pregnant with the twins, I said, repeatedly, that I hoped for one of each, that two girls would also be nice and that I hoped against hope it wasn't two boys. When they did the scan they easily identified R's bits, but twin 2 wasnt playing. It took ages and I was thinking, that's the girl, fully expecting the sonographer to say eventually "that one's a girl". When she said "I'm seeing another set of dangly bits" I was instantly delighted and thrilled by the idea of two boys. Pink was rubbished, the Barbie section was vetoed in relief. True story. So if I am in raptures tomorrow at the idea of my third son, it's not fakery.
Last chance to say I think she is a girl though :-)
In 15 hours I shall (hopefully) know. Boy or girl. Will I have another adorable little boy or will I have the daughter I have always imagined?
My bump has gone mad. It's huge, and my bellybutton is out of sight, pointing downwards. I assume it will reappear as the bump grows some more, but it's a bit eek. And I am well and truly out of non maternity clothes, elasticated waists even are tight and uncomfortable. Boo. I weighed myself and I am 9lb heavier than I was at the start of the year. Which is ok for 20 weeks I reckon. I'm about 3 dress sizes bigger; when I was 3 dress sizes bigger I was a good couple of stones more than today. Admittedly that was a bit more evenly spread, I'm me with a fat tummy and giant boobs. Although I do seem to have an unsightly double chin as well, which is horrid. Really, I don't see why we have to be quite so repulsively unattractive during pregnancy. Voluminous body, spotty skin, lumbering movements, continuous all over body hair and stretchmarks. It's delightful. Not to mention being uber grumpy and constantly fatigued, or the inability to pay attention. In addition I seem to have had a sense of humour bypass. I am the least appealing version of me since, well, last time I was pregnant.
Pregnant women who say they feel gorgeous and, worse, men who say they find pregnant women attractive?? LIARS. All of them.
Baby is veh veh active, I am being distinctly booted regularly. Doesn't stop me listening to the heartbeat several times a day though. Obviously. Wriggly little squirmy baby she is, I had better not be kept in the dark as to whether she is a boy.
To do: watch The Apprentice, go to bed, attempt to sleep, take chiddlers to school, go to work for an hour, leave work, go to maternity hospital, collect notes then HAVE SCAN. Spend rest of the day excitedly looking at blue/pink things.
I can't imagine blue.
When I was pregnant with the twins, I said, repeatedly, that I hoped for one of each, that two girls would also be nice and that I hoped against hope it wasn't two boys. When they did the scan they easily identified R's bits, but twin 2 wasnt playing. It took ages and I was thinking, that's the girl, fully expecting the sonographer to say eventually "that one's a girl". When she said "I'm seeing another set of dangly bits" I was instantly delighted and thrilled by the idea of two boys. Pink was rubbished, the Barbie section was vetoed in relief. True story. So if I am in raptures tomorrow at the idea of my third son, it's not fakery.
Last chance to say I think she is a girl though :-)
Almost time to paint the nursery
Except there's no nursery to paint and when we knew for sure we were having two boys we went for pale yellow.
But, this time tomorrow I'll be going to sleep (or not) before Scan Day 2: the return of the ultrasound!!!!!!
Woooo! I am very excited now about the scan as today saw the passing of Presentation Day, which I made a pigs ear of but hey ho, it wasn't assessed.
The lecturer, who knows I am pregnant, stared right at my bump like she couldn't not. I find that a little weird.
Other things that are weird from the "I'm pregnant so I've lost my brain" school of weird: home births.
Why in the world would ANYONE want that??? You'd have to be super tidy and, unlike the people on the tellybox, most people don't actually have a birthing pool sized space in their living room. Hospitals have useful things like, well, doctors. Medicine. Machines of reassurance and life saving. You know the stuff, things you don't have a home. Well, you might have a doctor at home, but most people don't.
I don't get it. Although I don't understand why mothers to be want/do a LOT of things. Number one being rejection of pain relief as they want to "feel the contractions". Right you are. If, which is looking unlikely unless baby makes an early appearance, I do go the natural route, I'd like an epidural on admission.
And so to sleep, for to awaken to the day before the day of the knowledge.
But, this time tomorrow I'll be going to sleep (or not) before Scan Day 2: the return of the ultrasound!!!!!!
Woooo! I am very excited now about the scan as today saw the passing of Presentation Day, which I made a pigs ear of but hey ho, it wasn't assessed.
The lecturer, who knows I am pregnant, stared right at my bump like she couldn't not. I find that a little weird.
Other things that are weird from the "I'm pregnant so I've lost my brain" school of weird: home births.
Why in the world would ANYONE want that??? You'd have to be super tidy and, unlike the people on the tellybox, most people don't actually have a birthing pool sized space in their living room. Hospitals have useful things like, well, doctors. Medicine. Machines of reassurance and life saving. You know the stuff, things you don't have a home. Well, you might have a doctor at home, but most people don't.
I don't get it. Although I don't understand why mothers to be want/do a LOT of things. Number one being rejection of pain relief as they want to "feel the contractions". Right you are. If, which is looking unlikely unless baby makes an early appearance, I do go the natural route, I'd like an epidural on admission.
And so to sleep, for to awaken to the day before the day of the knowledge.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
To push or to be pulled?
In light of a lack of anything specific going on bellywise, I have been mulling over the VBAC option.
And so we have my pros for each option:
Caesarean section benefits:
No risk from traumatic birth or picking up infection/injury on the way out for baby
Quick birth at prearranged time - no mad dash from daddy or babysitters required.
Lack of pain
No ripped bits or forever incontinence.
No chance of an emergency section if elective chosen.
VBAC:
No surgery to recover from - can lift baby and boys, and drive straight away. Even if I'm a bit torn...
Home from hospital quickly.
Baby should breathe better having been squeezed through the birth canal.
Baby should be properly cooked and born when ready - small concerns as to overestimation of dates.
Breastfeeding should happen; labour should trigger colostrum production and so it becomes a possibility. Would be nice to have option.
Saggy udder wouldn't be worsened by second scarring.
Yeah, the last one's a bit vacuous. So is lack of pain as a reason for having a caesarean.
So that's 6:5 in favour of the VBAC.
Hmmm. On a trial basis, am I convinced????
I have plenty time to decide. 34 weeks I have till I have to say. That's 14 and a bit weeks away. I may enquire about parentcraft classes as I didn't pay much attention last time as I was in course for a caesarean when the classes were. I understand they do special VBAC ones, I don't know if they do here.
Oh god. I'm coming over all NCT. Save me...
In case I didn't mention, the next scan is 8 sleeps away. Oooooooh.
And so we have my pros for each option:
Caesarean section benefits:
No risk from traumatic birth or picking up infection/injury on the way out for baby
Quick birth at prearranged time - no mad dash from daddy or babysitters required.
Lack of pain
No ripped bits or forever incontinence.
No chance of an emergency section if elective chosen.
VBAC:
No surgery to recover from - can lift baby and boys, and drive straight away. Even if I'm a bit torn...
Home from hospital quickly.
Baby should breathe better having been squeezed through the birth canal.
Baby should be properly cooked and born when ready - small concerns as to overestimation of dates.
Breastfeeding should happen; labour should trigger colostrum production and so it becomes a possibility. Would be nice to have option.
Saggy udder wouldn't be worsened by second scarring.
Yeah, the last one's a bit vacuous. So is lack of pain as a reason for having a caesarean.
So that's 6:5 in favour of the VBAC.
Hmmm. On a trial basis, am I convinced????
I have plenty time to decide. 34 weeks I have till I have to say. That's 14 and a bit weeks away. I may enquire about parentcraft classes as I didn't pay much attention last time as I was in course for a caesarean when the classes were. I understand they do special VBAC ones, I don't know if they do here.
Oh god. I'm coming over all NCT. Save me...
In case I didn't mention, the next scan is 8 sleeps away. Oooooooh.
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Many things
More buggy hunting. Today I was offered a used mamas and papas all terrain buggy complete with footmuff etc, which is ace (and very kind) but rather massive. So marvellous for any trips to beaches and general walking, not so good for taking in the car. As this is offered gratis, that frees up funds for a lightweight buggy.
Enter the Quinny Senzz. I think that's how you spell it? Solves the ooh-the-Quinny-Zapp-is-ace-and-small-but-a-bit-difficult-yet-the-Zapp-extra-folds-separate-from-the-seat issue by being almost as compact but folding intact. And it has a decent shopping basket. And it comes in burgundy, which is important (but as it has a pink lining does somewhat depend on the baby being female).
So that's today's decision. Plenty time to change my mind again; I have a currently private wish list that I update almost daily with the latest buggy choice.
Today's pregnancy related excitement was to find baby located up beside my belly button. Baby is a very wrigglesome baby indeed, she (unspecific means female - or something) stays in one position for no more than 30 seconds. That may be due to the hard machine prodding it of course. That didn't bother R though, he was chilled and relaxed through each scan. O was a very very wriggly foetus!
I seriously hope baby allows a peek at what gender s/he is, I simply can't wait until the birth. They nearly didn't find out with O at the 20 week scan as he wouldn't stay still. Urg.
Symptom of the moment: backache. I cannot lie on my back, it is veh veh painful. I know this is normal much later on in pregnancy but I'm not sure why now. Tummy lying is out, it just all feels a bit squashed, and lying on my right makes me feel queasy. Happy days. Or nights to be precise, sleep is tricky. I tried a pillow between the legs but that did seem to aggravate the problem last night.
It's ok until I try to lie down. Which makes sleeping easier. Usually.
Assuming it works out with my employer, I plan to take maternity leave as soon as I am entitled to at 29 weeks. I seriously don't think I can handle working, being pregnant and juggling childcare through the summer holidays. Admittedly this creates a problem for next summer if/when I go back, but I will need to have "proper" childcare in place, and I won't be pregnant then.
So, if all tallies with leave and whatnot, I have two months left to work.
That's still ages, even coming off early. And I'll have the joyous third trimester with two 5 year olds at home all day...
On second thoughts I may work through the holidays and sign the boys up for every playscheme going. Maternity leave can start when they go back. Which is the way to sanity??
Enter the Quinny Senzz. I think that's how you spell it? Solves the ooh-the-Quinny-Zapp-is-ace-and-small-but-a-bit-difficult-yet-the-Zapp-extra-folds-separate-from-the-seat issue by being almost as compact but folding intact. And it has a decent shopping basket. And it comes in burgundy, which is important (but as it has a pink lining does somewhat depend on the baby being female).
So that's today's decision. Plenty time to change my mind again; I have a currently private wish list that I update almost daily with the latest buggy choice.
Today's pregnancy related excitement was to find baby located up beside my belly button. Baby is a very wrigglesome baby indeed, she (unspecific means female - or something) stays in one position for no more than 30 seconds. That may be due to the hard machine prodding it of course. That didn't bother R though, he was chilled and relaxed through each scan. O was a very very wriggly foetus!
I seriously hope baby allows a peek at what gender s/he is, I simply can't wait until the birth. They nearly didn't find out with O at the 20 week scan as he wouldn't stay still. Urg.
Symptom of the moment: backache. I cannot lie on my back, it is veh veh painful. I know this is normal much later on in pregnancy but I'm not sure why now. Tummy lying is out, it just all feels a bit squashed, and lying on my right makes me feel queasy. Happy days. Or nights to be precise, sleep is tricky. I tried a pillow between the legs but that did seem to aggravate the problem last night.
It's ok until I try to lie down. Which makes sleeping easier. Usually.
Assuming it works out with my employer, I plan to take maternity leave as soon as I am entitled to at 29 weeks. I seriously don't think I can handle working, being pregnant and juggling childcare through the summer holidays. Admittedly this creates a problem for next summer if/when I go back, but I will need to have "proper" childcare in place, and I won't be pregnant then.
So, if all tallies with leave and whatnot, I have two months left to work.
That's still ages, even coming off early. And I'll have the joyous third trimester with two 5 year olds at home all day...
On second thoughts I may work through the holidays and sign the boys up for every playscheme going. Maternity leave can start when they go back. Which is the way to sanity??
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Caved
I have ordered a Doppler, it will be here in 2 days. This is probably stupid for a couple of reasons:
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
Monday, 11 April 2011
Endless worry
The paranoia's back.
There is no reason for this.
I just don't feel very pregnant. Well, apart from the still-mental breasts and the slight nausea and the massive tummy. Oh, and the bleeding gums and nose.
I'm not sure what I need. Weekly scans? Regular midwife heartbeat checks? Definite kicks?
I need to keep in my head the image of a very healthy foetus jumping around through my first scan. And remind myself of my conviction of twins/missed miscarriage before. It's all in my head. I know it is. But reassurance would be nice, and I don't get that without a hypochondriac attack for another 5 weeks. That comes with the apprehension of what-will-they-find???!!! for the anomaly scan. And the minor niggle of having NO boys names. It could well be a boy. I don't know, my intuition is well off this pregnancy. I do think the foetus looked like a girl on the scan, but I'm not au fait with the facial differences between male and female foetuses.
I have sinusitis. I feel miserable.
There is no reason for this.
I just don't feel very pregnant. Well, apart from the still-mental breasts and the slight nausea and the massive tummy. Oh, and the bleeding gums and nose.
I'm not sure what I need. Weekly scans? Regular midwife heartbeat checks? Definite kicks?
I need to keep in my head the image of a very healthy foetus jumping around through my first scan. And remind myself of my conviction of twins/missed miscarriage before. It's all in my head. I know it is. But reassurance would be nice, and I don't get that without a hypochondriac attack for another 5 weeks. That comes with the apprehension of what-will-they-find???!!! for the anomaly scan. And the minor niggle of having NO boys names. It could well be a boy. I don't know, my intuition is well off this pregnancy. I do think the foetus looked like a girl on the scan, but I'm not au fait with the facial differences between male and female foetuses.
I have sinusitis. I feel miserable.
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Snot 3: the revenge of the Snot
I'm in the process of getting another cold. Today I have progressed through "my nose is a bit runny", through "I seem to be sneezing a bit", past "ok, my nose is running a lot" and onto "I feel like death". Goodie goodie gum drops, another cold without the drugs to see me through.
We have been on our caravanning holibags to Wales, which was very chilled what with having nothing particular to do. So I'm a lot less worked up about everything and have done a lot of sleeping.
This last week took me from 14 to 15 weeks and so was week 15. Its odd, I feel relatively normal, except I have an icky taste in my mouth and feel a little bit nauseous now and then. My appetite is minimal and I get full very quickly, so I'm eating a lot less. Which is just as well as I may not feel very pregnant but I sure look pregnant. Or not, it looks like fat in a pregnant shape and is all confined to my abdomen. But it looks lardy, not fecund. Maternity clothes essential so as to look more pregnant and less lardy, but most are vast. I don't currently fit into clothes a size up from normal - because the wide part is right on my waistline.
I'm not sure why I have a waisthigh bump. It's way too high. She scanned me there as my excessively full bladder was pushing it up, but that is most certainly not the case with my permanently elevated bump, bladder is never full these days.
Baby is currently around 10cm long. That's not exactly big. I continue to feel flurries of something. Having been away from the bath all week I haven't had the bathtime flurries, but there were distinct somethings when I drove over very bumpy roads. My bowels don't do that. I look forward to definite kicks as a reassurance of there being a baby in there.
Nothing now till 20 weeks and 5 days, which is the day of the anomaly scan. Thats AGES. Not even a midwife BP check. This doesn't rest too well with feeling not that pregnant. I guess looking increasingly pregnant will have to do as reassurance for now. Definite movements are imminent also.
Well done me for not buying a Doppler. I honestly think that is the way of madness, but it would be nice to hear a heartbeat.
I wonder if the midwife would send me packing if I went along for a checkup anyway????
At the 20 week scan I find out the flavour, I can't wait for that. If they can't tell, I'll be paying for a private scan to find out, there is NO WAY I'm waiting till the birth.
Today I am 15 weeks. And onwards to week 16...
We have been on our caravanning holibags to Wales, which was very chilled what with having nothing particular to do. So I'm a lot less worked up about everything and have done a lot of sleeping.
This last week took me from 14 to 15 weeks and so was week 15. Its odd, I feel relatively normal, except I have an icky taste in my mouth and feel a little bit nauseous now and then. My appetite is minimal and I get full very quickly, so I'm eating a lot less. Which is just as well as I may not feel very pregnant but I sure look pregnant. Or not, it looks like fat in a pregnant shape and is all confined to my abdomen. But it looks lardy, not fecund. Maternity clothes essential so as to look more pregnant and less lardy, but most are vast. I don't currently fit into clothes a size up from normal - because the wide part is right on my waistline.
I'm not sure why I have a waisthigh bump. It's way too high. She scanned me there as my excessively full bladder was pushing it up, but that is most certainly not the case with my permanently elevated bump, bladder is never full these days.
Baby is currently around 10cm long. That's not exactly big. I continue to feel flurries of something. Having been away from the bath all week I haven't had the bathtime flurries, but there were distinct somethings when I drove over very bumpy roads. My bowels don't do that. I look forward to definite kicks as a reassurance of there being a baby in there.
Nothing now till 20 weeks and 5 days, which is the day of the anomaly scan. Thats AGES. Not even a midwife BP check. This doesn't rest too well with feeling not that pregnant. I guess looking increasingly pregnant will have to do as reassurance for now. Definite movements are imminent also.
Well done me for not buying a Doppler. I honestly think that is the way of madness, but it would be nice to hear a heartbeat.
I wonder if the midwife would send me packing if I went along for a checkup anyway????
At the 20 week scan I find out the flavour, I can't wait for that. If they can't tell, I'll be paying for a private scan to find out, there is NO WAY I'm waiting till the birth.
Today I am 15 weeks. And onwards to week 16...
Sunday, 27 March 2011
12 and 13 weeks
Well, I am now 12 and 13 weeks. 12 because I know my cycles, 13 according to scan measurements. Almost everyone I know gets moved forward a week, and most go "overdue". Methinks its an imprecise science, especially as I was given one slightly undercooked twin 5 years ago, delivered 14 days before his original due date.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Worry over
Well as predicted in my more positive moments, there's one baby and a healthy one to boot.
Much wriggling and a good heartbeat, a low risk for Downs on the nuchal translucency scan (and there is a nasal bone present which means not Downs) and everything is very good.
My new due date is 01/10/11 so although I was 12 weeks today, I have moved forward to 12 weeks 6 and will be 13 weeks tomorrow.
I had to wait around for almost an hour after I arrived with a very full bladder, which was unpleasant - but did mean I missed work altogether. My bladder was so full my baby was up at my waist when the sonographer was scanning! I had to empty some to allow the nuchal scan and it was still full after emptying about a bladderful.
I feel so happy, no twins so we can all fit in a regular car and I can do swimming and the likes, and above all else a healthy baby.
One concern: baby was very wriggly. O was wriggly and R was calm in scans. Ois a very hyper child, this may well be another hyper child.
As long as he/she (I think she) is as sweet as he is then it's ok though.
A doctor recommended a VBAC, I did not agree. We discussed and she wrote down that I understood and that I wanted a section. Phew. I've to discuss again at 34 weeks. Still want a section!
Much wriggling and a good heartbeat, a low risk for Downs on the nuchal translucency scan (and there is a nasal bone present which means not Downs) and everything is very good.
My new due date is 01/10/11 so although I was 12 weeks today, I have moved forward to 12 weeks 6 and will be 13 weeks tomorrow.
I had to wait around for almost an hour after I arrived with a very full bladder, which was unpleasant - but did mean I missed work altogether. My bladder was so full my baby was up at my waist when the sonographer was scanning! I had to empty some to allow the nuchal scan and it was still full after emptying about a bladderful.
I feel so happy, no twins so we can all fit in a regular car and I can do swimming and the likes, and above all else a healthy baby.
One concern: baby was very wriggly. O was wriggly and R was calm in scans. Ois a very hyper child, this may well be another hyper child.
As long as he/she (I think she) is as sweet as he is then it's ok though.
A doctor recommended a VBAC, I did not agree. We discussed and she wrote down that I understood and that I wanted a section. Phew. I've to discuss again at 34 weeks. Still want a section!
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Fraught
Oh, I'm a bit worked up.
1 sleep to go. So, boys to bed, tea, bit of TV, maybe a bath, then bed probably not with sleep, then get up, drink lots of water and head to maternity hospital for 9.45.
Aaaaaaaaaargh. It's basically here.
It's only a scan. The probability of there being one perfectly healthy baby in there is very high, as I keep saying, but that doesn't stop the panic.
Two. None. Three. Deformities. None. Two. Tumour. Aaaaaargh.
One. Healthy. Likely.
I feel stupendously pregnant today. Sore, nauseous to extremes, vast chested, fatigued, slow. Wriggles from below are surely foetal. All seems well.
I'm still panicky. Right now I could really go a cigarette. I'm not going to have one, obviously, but I need some sort of crutch and I don't think gummy bears (oh yes) will cut it. Gummy bears it is though.
Are they gummi? I don't care.
Breathe. Breathe. Eat sweets. Breathe. Don't be sick. Maybe be sick?
1 sleep to go. So, boys to bed, tea, bit of TV, maybe a bath, then bed probably not with sleep, then get up, drink lots of water and head to maternity hospital for 9.45.
Aaaaaaaaaargh. It's basically here.
It's only a scan. The probability of there being one perfectly healthy baby in there is very high, as I keep saying, but that doesn't stop the panic.
Two. None. Three. Deformities. None. Two. Tumour. Aaaaaargh.
One. Healthy. Likely.
I feel stupendously pregnant today. Sore, nauseous to extremes, vast chested, fatigued, slow. Wriggles from below are surely foetal. All seems well.
I'm still panicky. Right now I could really go a cigarette. I'm not going to have one, obviously, but I need some sort of crutch and I don't think gummy bears (oh yes) will cut it. Gummy bears it is though.
Are they gummi? I don't care.
Breathe. Breathe. Eat sweets. Breathe. Don't be sick. Maybe be sick?
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Anticipating the worst
Aside from the perpetual nausea that I've almost stopped noticing, I feel a different kind of sick today.
Each time I think about the scan I feel ill, short of breath and kind of faint. Which is approximately once every five minutes, for five minutes.
I am no longer concerned by number of foetuses. What I am terrified of is that they tell me there are no healthy babies inside me.
Fear one: no heartbeat/foetus
Fear two: something obviously wrong, an non-viable foetus.
Fear three: nuchal scanning flags up a high risk.
Right now there could be several in there and as long as they all have heartbeats and the correct quota of organs and chromosomes I don't care. I just want healthy!!
Once I've established there's a heartbeat etc I'll get onto worrying about any anomalies. What gender my precious bundle turns out to be is of no consequence at all, just as long as they're well.
One little girl would be nice. One little boy would be nice. Two little girls would be nice. One girl, one boy would be nice. Two little boys would be nice. JUST AS LONG AS THEY ARE OK.
I can't stop obsessing about missed miscarriages. I still feel pregnant. I still test pregnant. I so want to still be pregnant.
2 sleeps now.
Each time I think about the scan I feel ill, short of breath and kind of faint. Which is approximately once every five minutes, for five minutes.
I am no longer concerned by number of foetuses. What I am terrified of is that they tell me there are no healthy babies inside me.
Fear one: no heartbeat/foetus
Fear two: something obviously wrong, an non-viable foetus.
Fear three: nuchal scanning flags up a high risk.
Right now there could be several in there and as long as they all have heartbeats and the correct quota of organs and chromosomes I don't care. I just want healthy!!
Once I've established there's a heartbeat etc I'll get onto worrying about any anomalies. What gender my precious bundle turns out to be is of no consequence at all, just as long as they're well.
One little girl would be nice. One little boy would be nice. Two little girls would be nice. One girl, one boy would be nice. Two little boys would be nice. JUST AS LONG AS THEY ARE OK.
I can't stop obsessing about missed miscarriages. I still feel pregnant. I still test pregnant. I so want to still be pregnant.
2 sleeps now.
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Twin buggy?
Well. 3 sleeps, or lack thereof.
I have spent considerable time today looking at double buggies.
And they are way cooler than when we were buying last time. Current fave is the Baby Jogger City Select with second seat. It's a tad pricey though.
More convinced on the twins thing - the newly popped uterus is rather substantial.
Symtomwise I've felt pretty ghastly today; on several occasions (including right now) I've been sure I'm going to actually throw up. That's not good, other than being v positive for health of any babies.
I don't want more twins.
Then again, I quite do as the early tricky stage is so quick and it'd be lovely to have twins to be twinny with each other and the existing twins could have a baby each to cuddle. Which would be well cute. I think I'll be a bit disappointed either way.
I know. Mad as a mad thing.
As long as any babies are healthy that's all that really matters. Within reason. Triplets would be bad.
Gaviscon and or a wee vomit required. Then I shall attempt to have sleep one of three.
I have spent considerable time today looking at double buggies.
And they are way cooler than when we were buying last time. Current fave is the Baby Jogger City Select with second seat. It's a tad pricey though.
More convinced on the twins thing - the newly popped uterus is rather substantial.
Symtomwise I've felt pretty ghastly today; on several occasions (including right now) I've been sure I'm going to actually throw up. That's not good, other than being v positive for health of any babies.
I don't want more twins.
Then again, I quite do as the early tricky stage is so quick and it'd be lovely to have twins to be twinny with each other and the existing twins could have a baby each to cuddle. Which would be well cute. I think I'll be a bit disappointed either way.
I know. Mad as a mad thing.
As long as any babies are healthy that's all that really matters. Within reason. Triplets would be bad.
Gaviscon and or a wee vomit required. Then I shall attempt to have sleep one of three.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Snippets
Soooooooooo tired.
Sooooooooo sicky.
Boobs sooooooooo sore.
Head soooooooo achy, as is neck a bit today - not fair.
It's meant to get better after 10 weeks. This is not better.
Good news: uterus is present and palpable. Woo. Growth continues, bad news less likely.
4 sleeps. 4!! That's like nearly none. It's really soon. No more weeks, it's just "on Friday" now. 3 more days at work. 4 sleeps, or going to bed-ings anyway.
And then it'll be x weeks till any tests and about 7 weeks till the anomaly scan, so that's up to 7 weeks of worry about abnormalities.
But this week we are worrying about the existence of any babies.
Sooooooooo sicky.
Boobs sooooooooo sore.
Head soooooooo achy, as is neck a bit today - not fair.
It's meant to get better after 10 weeks. This is not better.
Good news: uterus is present and palpable. Woo. Growth continues, bad news less likely.
4 sleeps. 4!! That's like nearly none. It's really soon. No more weeks, it's just "on Friday" now. 3 more days at work. 4 sleeps, or going to bed-ings anyway.
And then it'll be x weeks till any tests and about 7 weeks till the anomaly scan, so that's up to 7 weeks of worry about abnormalities.
But this week we are worrying about the existence of any babies.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
This week!
Well, since ever I found out I was pregnant, or to be more precise, since ever I started feeling pregnant - tired, sick, intolerant - I have found going to work a chore. It just occurred to me as I was having the Sunday evening blues, that as I wish away this week till Friday, this Friday is scan day! The days I wish away anyway will be gone and I'll be there.
And I pretty much won't have to work on Friday as the scan will take most of the morning - I work 9.30 till 12.30 and the scan is at 9.45 for 2 hours. So I shall pop in after, update the necessaries and show off my scan picture of my healthy singleton, and leave again after half an hour or so. Huzzah for paid antenatal appointments.
I incidentally won't be going to work after if it's a swift scan with bad news, I'll be having a meltdown. I may also be having a breakdown if it's multiples.
I'm not sure what I'll think about after Friday. I guess I'll have results to worry about, then possibly further tests, plus general worry and complaining. I don't recall ever letting up the worry or the complaining when I was pregnant.
The worry goes:
trimester one: don't bleed, don't miscarry;
trimester two: don't just die, don't be broken, please keep kicking me;
trimester three: keep up that kicking now, come out safely, don't be broken, don't die, don't kill me either.
The complaining goes:
trimester one: I feel sick, I'm tired, I hurt, I can't sleep, ooh my breasts hurt;
Trimester two: I still feel sick, I'm still tired, I still hurt, I'm not blooming, I still can't sleep;
Trimester three: I have chronic indigestion and the stomach capacity of a mouse, breathing isn't so easy, everything is too much effort, I'm still very tired, I haven't slept in weeks, I can't lie on my back or front or right side, actually everything hurts, I've been pregnant forever, I want it to be over.
Yeah, I guess there's lots to say, even if it is a tad repetitive.
I am currently in the bath - wooo! still novel after 21 months unable to. I tend to have a bath at the same time of day most nights, and each bath I can feel a distinct flurry of something going on. I don't know if it's baby moving or not, but it's both reassuring and nice. I may be deriving comfort from some wind but it sure feels like tiny foetal acrobatics. It doesn't happen any other time other than in the bath and I remember the bath was the best time for movements with the boys. So here's hoping. Here's not hoping the fact that I can feel it means it's twins. The existing twins have bickered and wound each other up all day today and the thought of another twosome just does not appeal!
5 sleeps.
And I pretty much won't have to work on Friday as the scan will take most of the morning - I work 9.30 till 12.30 and the scan is at 9.45 for 2 hours. So I shall pop in after, update the necessaries and show off my scan picture of my healthy singleton, and leave again after half an hour or so. Huzzah for paid antenatal appointments.
I incidentally won't be going to work after if it's a swift scan with bad news, I'll be having a meltdown. I may also be having a breakdown if it's multiples.
I'm not sure what I'll think about after Friday. I guess I'll have results to worry about, then possibly further tests, plus general worry and complaining. I don't recall ever letting up the worry or the complaining when I was pregnant.
The worry goes:
trimester one: don't bleed, don't miscarry;
trimester two: don't just die, don't be broken, please keep kicking me;
trimester three: keep up that kicking now, come out safely, don't be broken, don't die, don't kill me either.
The complaining goes:
trimester one: I feel sick, I'm tired, I hurt, I can't sleep, ooh my breasts hurt;
Trimester two: I still feel sick, I'm still tired, I still hurt, I'm not blooming, I still can't sleep;
Trimester three: I have chronic indigestion and the stomach capacity of a mouse, breathing isn't so easy, everything is too much effort, I'm still very tired, I haven't slept in weeks, I can't lie on my back or front or right side, actually everything hurts, I've been pregnant forever, I want it to be over.
Yeah, I guess there's lots to say, even if it is a tad repetitive.
I am currently in the bath - wooo! still novel after 21 months unable to. I tend to have a bath at the same time of day most nights, and each bath I can feel a distinct flurry of something going on. I don't know if it's baby moving or not, but it's both reassuring and nice. I may be deriving comfort from some wind but it sure feels like tiny foetal acrobatics. It doesn't happen any other time other than in the bath and I remember the bath was the best time for movements with the boys. So here's hoping. Here's not hoping the fact that I can feel it means it's twins. The existing twins have bickered and wound each other up all day today and the thought of another twosome just does not appeal!
5 sleeps.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
6 sleeps!
Less than a week to go till scan, I can cope. And then they will tell me if all is well and single, or not. And I will know. Then nothing will change, I'll just know; it isn't an end point, it's just a stage.
Well, it hopefully isn't an end point anyway.
I can't feel my uterus. This doesn't mean it's not above the pubic line, it means I can't feel it. I don't think it's up high though, which means probably not twins. I do however feel little flutterings that could be movement which is very early and would be indicative of twins. And there is the fact that my bowels etc are currently located at the top of my ribs or thereabouts so that suggests a reshuffle is going on. Which it will be. But I can't tell what's there and what isn't usually there.
Symptoms remain sort of peaking. I have been exhausted today and spent most of it lying down, interspersed with nausea and the need to eat, along with the requisite hourly visits to the toilet. Boobs look nothing like themselves, as yesterday's changes remain.
So it doesn't look like anything's wearing off anyway. That's good, even if it makes me feel diabolical.
Next necessary purchases: nightwear and underwear. Both causing discomfort, and I've not started the grand expansion yet. Yikes. There are benefits to having your firstborn: no children to look after and a nice unscathed body with no scarring to be irritated by waistbands.
Just a moaning aside.
Well, it hopefully isn't an end point anyway.
I can't feel my uterus. This doesn't mean it's not above the pubic line, it means I can't feel it. I don't think it's up high though, which means probably not twins. I do however feel little flutterings that could be movement which is very early and would be indicative of twins. And there is the fact that my bowels etc are currently located at the top of my ribs or thereabouts so that suggests a reshuffle is going on. Which it will be. But I can't tell what's there and what isn't usually there.
Symptoms remain sort of peaking. I have been exhausted today and spent most of it lying down, interspersed with nausea and the need to eat, along with the requisite hourly visits to the toilet. Boobs look nothing like themselves, as yesterday's changes remain.
So it doesn't look like anything's wearing off anyway. That's good, even if it makes me feel diabolical.
Next necessary purchases: nightwear and underwear. Both causing discomfort, and I've not started the grand expansion yet. Yikes. There are benefits to having your firstborn: no children to look after and a nice unscathed body with no scarring to be irritated by waistbands.
Just a moaning aside.
Friday, 18 March 2011
11 weeks
And so we begin week 12...
Symptoms: today I have felt particularly nauseous, which I did hope to be easing a bit. Not so today, smells were bad and I actually thought I was going to throw up at one point. Boobs have gone mad, muchos sensitive today and the colour has changed and spread. They are covered in the little tiny bumps called Montgomery Tubercles which look like mould. Lovely stuff.
I had my midwife booking in visit today at the house. All fairly uneventful, but I did discover:
Forth Park (the maternity hospital) now do Nuchal Fold screening as standard. Which checks the fold of skin at the back of the neck; if thickened it can be indicative of Downs. They also do the blood test for Downs/Spina Bifida at the initial scan. So any risk should show up early and hey, what fun to have new worries. No. That's not the point. The point is to have more invasive but conclusive tests if a high risk is present.
This is where I get a bit twitchy about being "over 35". Only just over 35, I think my Downs risk is about 1 in 400. As my husband rightly pointed out, if I had 400 babies 1 would have Downs.
The other thing I discovered was that if I don't want a VBAC and really want another Caesarean, they will do what I want. That doesn't mean they won't heavily lean on me to change my mind but it is reassuring to have the final say.
7 sleeps now.
Symptoms: today I have felt particularly nauseous, which I did hope to be easing a bit. Not so today, smells were bad and I actually thought I was going to throw up at one point. Boobs have gone mad, muchos sensitive today and the colour has changed and spread. They are covered in the little tiny bumps called Montgomery Tubercles which look like mould. Lovely stuff.
I had my midwife booking in visit today at the house. All fairly uneventful, but I did discover:
Forth Park (the maternity hospital) now do Nuchal Fold screening as standard. Which checks the fold of skin at the back of the neck; if thickened it can be indicative of Downs. They also do the blood test for Downs/Spina Bifida at the initial scan. So any risk should show up early and hey, what fun to have new worries. No. That's not the point. The point is to have more invasive but conclusive tests if a high risk is present.
This is where I get a bit twitchy about being "over 35". Only just over 35, I think my Downs risk is about 1 in 400. As my husband rightly pointed out, if I had 400 babies 1 would have Downs.
The other thing I discovered was that if I don't want a VBAC and really want another Caesarean, they will do what I want. That doesn't mean they won't heavily lean on me to change my mind but it is reassuring to have the final say.
7 sleeps now.
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Can't breathe, won't breathe
Cough is vile. Can't breathe so well and back aches from coughing so much. Tomorrow shall see me attempt to see a medic. This not good, need to breathe. No it's not viral, it feels totally bacterial. Wish me luck.
Sickness rather excessive today. Feeling not being though, so I should be grateful. Melon may be nice but it does not stave the nausea the way sausages can.
Mmmmm. Sausages and bacon. Lovely. That's supper sorted.
Yes, I don't eat red meat. Usually. This is not usual and I do it for taste reasons rather than ethical so if I'm not off it, bring on the bacon. I don't eat fish for ethical reasons, that's quite different, I do occasionally have to remind myself that I don't eat scallops.
Mind is in a weird place, I absolutely cannot get beyond next week's scan in my mind.
Possible outcomes are as follows (in order of expectation):
1) multiple pregnancy
2) lack of any heartbeat
3) heartbeat present, foetus not viable
4) one healthy baby
I don't need to point out that 4) is the most likely, but it is my least anticipated. I am going mad. I don't think it feels real yet, seeing a real living foetus on ultrasound will presumably make it real. And confirm whether or not there's any viable pregnancy going on in there never mind two.
Midwife visit tomorrow (after doc for cough) - maybe that will make it more real. I live in hope.
8 sleeps.
Sickness rather excessive today. Feeling not being though, so I should be grateful. Melon may be nice but it does not stave the nausea the way sausages can.
Mmmmm. Sausages and bacon. Lovely. That's supper sorted.
Yes, I don't eat red meat. Usually. This is not usual and I do it for taste reasons rather than ethical so if I'm not off it, bring on the bacon. I don't eat fish for ethical reasons, that's quite different, I do occasionally have to remind myself that I don't eat scallops.
Mind is in a weird place, I absolutely cannot get beyond next week's scan in my mind.
Possible outcomes are as follows (in order of expectation):
1) multiple pregnancy
2) lack of any heartbeat
3) heartbeat present, foetus not viable
4) one healthy baby
I don't need to point out that 4) is the most likely, but it is my least anticipated. I am going mad. I don't think it feels real yet, seeing a real living foetus on ultrasound will presumably make it real. And confirm whether or not there's any viable pregnancy going on in there never mind two.
Midwife visit tomorrow (after doc for cough) - maybe that will make it more real. I live in hope.
8 sleeps.
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
One week, two days...
I can't wait! I can't wait! The scan is next Friday and I am so excited. Although this week is proving verrrrrrrry long and I suspect next week will be worse.
9 sleeps, including the one I'm about to have.
This Friday the midwife is coming to visit. I have seen her already (back in the first week of knowing) and this is my proper booking visit. Although as it's in my home, I'm guessing I won't be weighed or have all my bodily fluids checked for deficiencies.
Approaching 11 weeks and this is how it is healthwise:
Cold has gone, but a vile cough remains. Turns out non drowsy cough medicines of the linctus variety are ok for pregnant ladies and are remarkably effective in a well-I've-stopped-for-now manner. They're not Original Benylin but they do allow cessation of coughing long enough to breathe.
Symptoms of growing a baby at 10 weeks + 5: unbelievabubbly tired, despite sleeping better at night. Sickness is more in waves than a progressive worsening. My boobies are now less sensitive and although huge, don't ache so much. Stomach is a vast expanse of bulgingness that makes me look much pregnanter than I am, and which I don't really understand. I don't think I can feel my uterus under the udder, but I'm not sure. The udder is much pushed forward by something. Bowels? Triplets?
The other October 2011 ladies on iVillage say they can feel a hard lump, I don't think I can. Or maybe I can, I can't tell. You're not meant to be able to feel it above the pelvis till 12 weeks, so that's a good indication it's NOT twins. Unless it's quite high and I can't tell. Who knows?
For two/three days I had a very sore back, possibly caused by (minimal) housework on Sunday. Muchos pain of the tailbone, which made walking tricky, sitting painful and bending a thing of the past. It's still a wee bit twingy but mostly ok, being able to have a bath is most wondrous in times of backache. The Hypochondriac in Me (aka HIM) diagnosed an incarcerated uterus, or at the very least a tilted (retroverted) uterus, which would push against the spine instead of rising up out of the pelvis.
Cure: lie on front. Have done. Got better. Still can't feel uterus: HIM concludes that the foetus must have stopped growing.
Oh shut up!! Yesterday's test (just checking) said 3+ weeks very quickly so my levels are still very high.
And where was I? Ah yes. Backache.
It is a little strange to have backache; having been dosed up on some type of morphine based painkillers for over 18 months, other aches and pains were masked and unnoticed. Now - I have twinges and niggles. Boo.
I have done very few school runs this last week. Hubby can be ace.
Current "craving": bacon. Yummy.
9 sleeps, including the one I'm about to have.
This Friday the midwife is coming to visit. I have seen her already (back in the first week of knowing) and this is my proper booking visit. Although as it's in my home, I'm guessing I won't be weighed or have all my bodily fluids checked for deficiencies.
Approaching 11 weeks and this is how it is healthwise:
Cold has gone, but a vile cough remains. Turns out non drowsy cough medicines of the linctus variety are ok for pregnant ladies and are remarkably effective in a well-I've-stopped-for-now manner. They're not Original Benylin but they do allow cessation of coughing long enough to breathe.
Symptoms of growing a baby at 10 weeks + 5: unbelievabubbly tired, despite sleeping better at night. Sickness is more in waves than a progressive worsening. My boobies are now less sensitive and although huge, don't ache so much. Stomach is a vast expanse of bulgingness that makes me look much pregnanter than I am, and which I don't really understand. I don't think I can feel my uterus under the udder, but I'm not sure. The udder is much pushed forward by something. Bowels? Triplets?
The other October 2011 ladies on iVillage say they can feel a hard lump, I don't think I can. Or maybe I can, I can't tell. You're not meant to be able to feel it above the pelvis till 12 weeks, so that's a good indication it's NOT twins. Unless it's quite high and I can't tell. Who knows?
For two/three days I had a very sore back, possibly caused by (minimal) housework on Sunday. Muchos pain of the tailbone, which made walking tricky, sitting painful and bending a thing of the past. It's still a wee bit twingy but mostly ok, being able to have a bath is most wondrous in times of backache. The Hypochondriac in Me (aka HIM) diagnosed an incarcerated uterus, or at the very least a tilted (retroverted) uterus, which would push against the spine instead of rising up out of the pelvis.
Cure: lie on front. Have done. Got better. Still can't feel uterus: HIM concludes that the foetus must have stopped growing.
Oh shut up!! Yesterday's test (just checking) said 3+ weeks very quickly so my levels are still very high.
And where was I? Ah yes. Backache.
It is a little strange to have backache; having been dosed up on some type of morphine based painkillers for over 18 months, other aches and pains were masked and unnoticed. Now - I have twinges and niggles. Boo.
I have done very few school runs this last week. Hubby can be ace.
Current "craving": bacon. Yummy.
Thursday, 10 March 2011
10 weeks and sniffing
Boh. I have the cold again, and this time it's a cracker. I have the reddest nose ever seen due to the perpetual drip, and I am feeling most miserable. 2 days off sick, my sinuses are very sore and I can't breathe. Yuk. A day in bed has helped, another will help more.
So. 10 weeks. That's quite good, it's only TWO WEEKS TILL THE SCAN! And I am still alternating between being convinced there will be no heartbeat, and that there will be multiple heartbeats.
Evidence against the lack of heartbeat: I am feeling v v sick, I have v sore and ginormous breasts, prior to the cold I had a permanent runny nose, I am still peeing most enthusiastically and generally being most distinctly grumpy and pregnant. That and the test I did two days ago which said 3+ weeks which is a bit of a clue.
I know. I worry.
Evidence as to the presence of more than one baby: the ginormous belly. It can't all be doughnuts, it's only been 5 weeks since I stopped dieting. I am bigger now than I was at this stage with the boys, and I started off thinner (albeit plus the udder of overstretched skin) this time. I know it's not bump, but I do look pregnant and that was what made me suspect twins last time.
We'd cope. Twins are v cute. As long as at least one is female...
So. 10 weeks. That's quite good, it's only TWO WEEKS TILL THE SCAN! And I am still alternating between being convinced there will be no heartbeat, and that there will be multiple heartbeats.
Evidence against the lack of heartbeat: I am feeling v v sick, I have v sore and ginormous breasts, prior to the cold I had a permanent runny nose, I am still peeing most enthusiastically and generally being most distinctly grumpy and pregnant. That and the test I did two days ago which said 3+ weeks which is a bit of a clue.
I know. I worry.
Evidence as to the presence of more than one baby: the ginormous belly. It can't all be doughnuts, it's only been 5 weeks since I stopped dieting. I am bigger now than I was at this stage with the boys, and I started off thinner (albeit plus the udder of overstretched skin) this time. I know it's not bump, but I do look pregnant and that was what made me suspect twins last time.
We'd cope. Twins are v cute. As long as at least one is female...
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