Birth Day - 2 sleeps to go

This time tomorrow I'll be not-going-to-sleep with the thought that I will get up the next day and have my baby girl.

Scary.

Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.

Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.

Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.

I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.

My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.

The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.

Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.

Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.

Snot 3: the revenge of the Snot

I'm in the process of getting another cold. Today I have progressed through "my nose is a bit runny", through "I seem to be sneezing a bit", past "ok, my nose is running a lot" and onto "I feel like death". Goodie goodie gum drops, another cold without the drugs to see me through.

We have been on our caravanning holibags to Wales, which was very chilled what with having nothing particular to do. So I'm a lot less worked up about everything and have done a lot of sleeping.

This last week took me from 14 to 15 weeks and so was week 15. Its odd, I feel relatively normal, except I have an icky taste in my mouth and feel a little bit nauseous now and then. My appetite is minimal and I get full very quickly, so I'm eating a lot less. Which is just as well as I may not feel very pregnant but I sure look pregnant. Or not, it looks like fat in a pregnant shape and is all confined to my abdomen. But it looks lardy, not fecund. Maternity clothes essential so as to look more pregnant and less lardy, but most are vast. I don't currently fit into clothes a size up from normal - because the wide part is right on my waistline.

I'm not sure why I have a waisthigh bump. It's way too high. She scanned me there as my excessively full bladder was pushing it up, but that is most certainly not the case with my permanently elevated bump, bladder is never full these days.

Baby is currently around 10cm long. That's not exactly big. I continue to feel flurries of something. Having been away from the bath all week I haven't had the bathtime flurries, but there were distinct somethings when I drove over very bumpy roads. My bowels don't do that. I look forward to definite kicks as a reassurance of there being a baby in there.

Nothing now till 20 weeks and 5 days, which is the day of the anomaly scan. Thats AGES. Not even a midwife BP check. This doesn't rest too well with feeling not that pregnant. I guess looking increasingly pregnant will have to do as reassurance for now. Definite movements are imminent also.

Well done me for not buying a Doppler. I honestly think that is the way of madness, but it would be nice to hear a heartbeat.

I wonder if the midwife would send me packing if I went along for a checkup anyway????

At the 20 week scan I find out the flavour, I can't wait for that. If they can't tell, I'll be paying for a private scan to find out, there is NO WAY I'm waiting till the birth.

Today I am 15 weeks. And onwards to week 16...