Well, from my ponderations of pregnancy, a few things have transpired to be true and a few to be woefully inaccurate.
I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.
No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".
One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!
E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.
And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?
Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.
Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.
Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!
Neck still not sore.
Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.
And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Sunday, 7 August 2011
A quiet week required
Hubby's going away for work in the morning!! To London(ish)!! He's never had to do that before, I'm feeling most perturbed. He's away till Thursday, then he has to come home as we're going on our hols on Friday, then he's potentially away back down south again next Tuesday. We get back on Monday, Tuesday is Back to School.
I'm quite envious of him, he flies down tomorrow morning. His taxi arrives at 4.20am which is less good. But staying in a hotel is nice and rather exciting. I've usually been the one who does trips and stuff, this time I'm at home being mummy.
If I wasn't pregnant we could potentially have tagged along, but I am so we can't. Boo.
Tomorrow I shall get my options for not submitting my dissertation. Failing isn't one of those options though, so that's something. I would have had a nervous breakdown this week on my own with that still to finish, although I've done nothing since Thursday when I decided to ask for non-submission advice.
No more false labour signs, all is normal. Nothing much to report in the pregnancy progression other than my nipples are producing minuscule drops of moisture, so breastfeeding may be on the cards.
7 weeks tomorrow and she'll be here, hopefully hopefully. My consultant "chat about the birth" appointment has been changed to 35 weeks as hubby might not be here at 34.
My last week with my little chums, I've actually enjoyed having them home for the summer holidays. None of us want them to be over!
I'm quite envious of him, he flies down tomorrow morning. His taxi arrives at 4.20am which is less good. But staying in a hotel is nice and rather exciting. I've usually been the one who does trips and stuff, this time I'm at home being mummy.
If I wasn't pregnant we could potentially have tagged along, but I am so we can't. Boo.
Tomorrow I shall get my options for not submitting my dissertation. Failing isn't one of those options though, so that's something. I would have had a nervous breakdown this week on my own with that still to finish, although I've done nothing since Thursday when I decided to ask for non-submission advice.
No more false labour signs, all is normal. Nothing much to report in the pregnancy progression other than my nipples are producing minuscule drops of moisture, so breastfeeding may be on the cards.
7 weeks tomorrow and she'll be here, hopefully hopefully. My consultant "chat about the birth" appointment has been changed to 35 weeks as hubby might not be here at 34.
My last week with my little chums, I've actually enjoyed having them home for the summer holidays. None of us want them to be over!
Monday, 18 July 2011
Changes that have come over me
Pelvis watch: not good. I had to do a fair amount of crutch free walking today and oh, I can't! Swimming lesson for the boys first off, which is every day this week and involves rather a lot of stairs.
I then spent most of the rest of the day lying down, but had to nip out to asda in the evening. I cannot do supermarkets. Trolleys are out as I can't push them, crutches are out as I need my hands. So it's a basket waddle. Not good. And the pain by the time I got back was ridiculous, I could barely put one foot in front of the other.
I am displeased to note that despite the bump now being on the very large side of huge, I still have the flap of skin below. How unfair is that? I guess twins make that flap inevitable, but still.
On a brighter note, we have booked a short break for the last weekend of the holidays. Just to Dumfries, I'm not prepared to travel far, but it will be ace to have that to look forward to.
And I received my Practical Parenting subscription gift: an Avent breast pump with two bottles and a thermal bag. We have an Avent steriliser and we used Avent for the twins, so its familiar. I was drawn to Tommee Tippee but they don't fit well in the steriliser. We were a little underwhelmed by the Avent bottles on account of slight leakage when mixing, but all bottles have some people who have that same complaint! Well nifty for zero cost though, I priced it up in asda and it would cost well over £30 to buy what I got. The subscription is less than that, and I'd buy PP anyway, I like it best of the pregnancy/baby mags.
A breast pump, yes, I did mean to get that as I do fully intend to give breastfeeding a try. Having spoken to a friend about birthing options I found myself pondering a VBAC again, but I think not. Stats are not favourable.
Many thoughts. Many.
I then spent most of the rest of the day lying down, but had to nip out to asda in the evening. I cannot do supermarkets. Trolleys are out as I can't push them, crutches are out as I need my hands. So it's a basket waddle. Not good. And the pain by the time I got back was ridiculous, I could barely put one foot in front of the other.
I am displeased to note that despite the bump now being on the very large side of huge, I still have the flap of skin below. How unfair is that? I guess twins make that flap inevitable, but still.
On a brighter note, we have booked a short break for the last weekend of the holidays. Just to Dumfries, I'm not prepared to travel far, but it will be ace to have that to look forward to.
And I received my Practical Parenting subscription gift: an Avent breast pump with two bottles and a thermal bag. We have an Avent steriliser and we used Avent for the twins, so its familiar. I was drawn to Tommee Tippee but they don't fit well in the steriliser. We were a little underwhelmed by the Avent bottles on account of slight leakage when mixing, but all bottles have some people who have that same complaint! Well nifty for zero cost though, I priced it up in asda and it would cost well over £30 to buy what I got. The subscription is less than that, and I'd buy PP anyway, I like it best of the pregnancy/baby mags.
A breast pump, yes, I did mean to get that as I do fully intend to give breastfeeding a try. Having spoken to a friend about birthing options I found myself pondering a VBAC again, but I think not. Stats are not favourable.
Many thoughts. Many.
Friday, 10 June 2011
Times they are a-changing
Hmm. A more tactful colleague today said in a nice manner that I was blooming. Because of the tact, I responded in the manner of a calm rational person and discussed that yes, I am unmistakably pregnant but really, if you think how ginormous ladies get in the last month, I'm relatively teeny. I don't stick out much. And do you know what she said??? You're quite neat really.
I love her. Even if she did just say it to humour me.
Hmm 2
As I continue to read Clare Byam-Cook I am less enamoured. Not so much by her - although she does wax lyrical about the great usefulness of your own mother (she hasn't met mine; lovely though she may be, useful she is not) and how to choose a maternity nurse (as if!) - but more with the sheer effort involved in breastfeeding. I am told it is easier. I am not sure what it is easier than however, because it sounds rather hard to me.
I'm still going to try. If I manage any time, I'll be pleased.
Baby has kicked rather a lot today. Which is still life affirming (literally!) but can be rather painful at times. I was idly twiddling my (unrecognisable) navel before and my finger got booted. At one point I lay my hand on my abdomen and FELT her racing heartbeat. She must have been lying right at the surface. It was weird, but cool.
Active girl. I should eat less cake/consume less fizzy caffeine.
I love her. Even if she did just say it to humour me.
Hmm 2
As I continue to read Clare Byam-Cook I am less enamoured. Not so much by her - although she does wax lyrical about the great usefulness of your own mother (she hasn't met mine; lovely though she may be, useful she is not) and how to choose a maternity nurse (as if!) - but more with the sheer effort involved in breastfeeding. I am told it is easier. I am not sure what it is easier than however, because it sounds rather hard to me.
I'm still going to try. If I manage any time, I'll be pleased.
Baby has kicked rather a lot today. Which is still life affirming (literally!) but can be rather painful at times. I was idly twiddling my (unrecognisable) navel before and my finger got booted. At one point I lay my hand on my abdomen and FELT her racing heartbeat. She must have been lying right at the surface. It was weird, but cool.
Active girl. I should eat less cake/consume less fizzy caffeine.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Feeding
I've been a-reading about breastfeeding, in a much recommended book going by the name of "what to do when you're breastfeeding and what to do if you can't". The author (Clare Byam-Cook) is very good apparently and so I thought I'd see what she had to say.
By coincidence, the very same day I downloaded this book onto my precious kindle, Julia Boggio blogged that she'd visited Clare Byam-Cook for advice and was singing her praises. Spooky complete randomness, but hey, it could be a small sign of something. A sign-ette that I should be considering the whole breastfeeding thing.
Because of the whole breast-is-best and the lack of support for bottle feeding, I'm slightly evangelical about people who feel they mustn't ever give up on exclusive breastfeeding and are appalled by the idea of topping up. I'm quick to say "it's ok!!!" but that doesn't mean I don't think everyone should give the old breastfeeding a shot.
The book does make both palatable and interesting reading. I do intend to try it again, but even reading the book I am thinking "an hour to do a feed? an HOUR?" and worrying about comfort sucking and similar. Having not succeeded with breastfeeding at all last time, it's a whole new ball game.
I am motivated by how sick O was, I think he may have escaped a lot of that if he hadnt had formula from birth. I don't know that though. I was interested to read that a small baby that falls asleep quickly may not have the energy for a full breastfeed. O was like this and we had to get him faster teats so he could manage to drink a whole feed. While he may not have been so sick, he may not have got enough food and would have been even tireder. Who knows? He's very healthy now.
My reservations are thus:
If I have a caesarean birth, my milk may not be there at all again. The twins didn't even get colostrum and were getting sickly which is why I introduced formula in the first place. I do believe it is perfectly possible to give formula top ups until the milk comes in, but I'm not sure how that works if there's nothing at all coming out of the breast and baby does not want to latch on at all. This is what happened before, and I never went back, it was not suggested even when my milk came in and I queried it.
I am perturbed by the number of breastfeeding mums who do night feeds when their child is a considerable age. Over a year old and still having night feeds!! The twins had dropped all night feeds to the extent that waking again as we approached 4 months was noteworthy and indicative of a need to wean. I feel that I would definitely be topping up at bedtime if night feeds persisted.
Bottles are kind of easy to monitor, I worry that I'd spend a lot of time ineffectively breastfeeding. The book indicates that you quickly get the hang of whether the baby has had a full feed or is comfort sucking, and that if the baby is sated that they will sleep for 4 hours. Two hourly feeds are supposedly indicative of a poor latch or not enough milk being taken.
Babies who don't have bottles may have problems taking a bottle for water and later on for juice. They may also not like a dummy and - I may be making this up - might look to the breast for comfort instead. Hmm. On that last point, I am reminded that I didn't offer the twins a bottle if it wasn't obvious that food was what was required, so I guess I wouldn't put them to the breast unless I genuinely thought them hungry.
Oh I don't know. I want to try, even if it's only for the first few days.
A small part of my brain is hoping baby comes the week before my caesarean is due and arrives naturally. Is that mad? Does that mean I'm really after a VBAC? The risks convince me no, so why the secret wish?
I'm even contemplating baby led weaning. Whether that holds out when baby is starving, I know not.
I'm going all soft. Kaz Cooke's Rough Guide to Babies and Toddlers arrived and while she's not at all of the you-must-obey-the-rules-of-naturalness she does make suggestions that make me think, well, it might be OK...
By coincidence, the very same day I downloaded this book onto my precious kindle, Julia Boggio blogged that she'd visited Clare Byam-Cook for advice and was singing her praises. Spooky complete randomness, but hey, it could be a small sign of something. A sign-ette that I should be considering the whole breastfeeding thing.
Because of the whole breast-is-best and the lack of support for bottle feeding, I'm slightly evangelical about people who feel they mustn't ever give up on exclusive breastfeeding and are appalled by the idea of topping up. I'm quick to say "it's ok!!!" but that doesn't mean I don't think everyone should give the old breastfeeding a shot.
The book does make both palatable and interesting reading. I do intend to try it again, but even reading the book I am thinking "an hour to do a feed? an HOUR?" and worrying about comfort sucking and similar. Having not succeeded with breastfeeding at all last time, it's a whole new ball game.
I am motivated by how sick O was, I think he may have escaped a lot of that if he hadnt had formula from birth. I don't know that though. I was interested to read that a small baby that falls asleep quickly may not have the energy for a full breastfeed. O was like this and we had to get him faster teats so he could manage to drink a whole feed. While he may not have been so sick, he may not have got enough food and would have been even tireder. Who knows? He's very healthy now.
My reservations are thus:
If I have a caesarean birth, my milk may not be there at all again. The twins didn't even get colostrum and were getting sickly which is why I introduced formula in the first place. I do believe it is perfectly possible to give formula top ups until the milk comes in, but I'm not sure how that works if there's nothing at all coming out of the breast and baby does not want to latch on at all. This is what happened before, and I never went back, it was not suggested even when my milk came in and I queried it.
I am perturbed by the number of breastfeeding mums who do night feeds when their child is a considerable age. Over a year old and still having night feeds!! The twins had dropped all night feeds to the extent that waking again as we approached 4 months was noteworthy and indicative of a need to wean. I feel that I would definitely be topping up at bedtime if night feeds persisted.
Bottles are kind of easy to monitor, I worry that I'd spend a lot of time ineffectively breastfeeding. The book indicates that you quickly get the hang of whether the baby has had a full feed or is comfort sucking, and that if the baby is sated that they will sleep for 4 hours. Two hourly feeds are supposedly indicative of a poor latch or not enough milk being taken.
Babies who don't have bottles may have problems taking a bottle for water and later on for juice. They may also not like a dummy and - I may be making this up - might look to the breast for comfort instead. Hmm. On that last point, I am reminded that I didn't offer the twins a bottle if it wasn't obvious that food was what was required, so I guess I wouldn't put them to the breast unless I genuinely thought them hungry.
Oh I don't know. I want to try, even if it's only for the first few days.
A small part of my brain is hoping baby comes the week before my caesarean is due and arrives naturally. Is that mad? Does that mean I'm really after a VBAC? The risks convince me no, so why the secret wish?
I'm even contemplating baby led weaning. Whether that holds out when baby is starving, I know not.
I'm going all soft. Kaz Cooke's Rough Guide to Babies and Toddlers arrived and while she's not at all of the you-must-obey-the-rules-of-naturalness she does make suggestions that make me think, well, it might be OK...
Sunday, 27 March 2011
12 and 13 weeks
Well, I am now 12 and 13 weeks. 12 because I know my cycles, 13 according to scan measurements. Almost everyone I know gets moved forward a week, and most go "overdue". Methinks its an imprecise science, especially as I was given one slightly undercooked twin 5 years ago, delivered 14 days before his original due date.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Brainwashing
I'm feeling got at already, by Other Mothers, having not yet been to a clinic to be bombarded with the message:
Breast is best.
Breast is best.
Breast is best.
I get it.
The main refrain: Ohhhh, breast feeding is sooo much easier.
Oh yeah? Than, erm, sleeping through the night and NOT doing night feeds at all? Than going 4 hours between feeds almost from the start? Than having a definitely thriving child and know it for sure?
I will make an informed choice. Thank you for your input.
Being obsessed with baby programmes I see two things regularly that I don't see why anyone would WANT to do either:
1) natural childbirth.
2) breastfeeding.
There is valid reason for both but I do not understand why it is not a grudging acceptance that they are better as opposed to a DESIRED outcome. Women WANT these things, they want the painful unpleasant options. Really? You're not just saying that?
We get brainwashed, virtually from conception. Natural is best. Do not deviate from Natural.
Yada yada.
Desired outcome: healthy child. Nothing else really matters.
Breast is best.
Breast is best.
Breast is best.
I get it.
The main refrain: Ohhhh, breast feeding is sooo much easier.
Oh yeah? Than, erm, sleeping through the night and NOT doing night feeds at all? Than going 4 hours between feeds almost from the start? Than having a definitely thriving child and know it for sure?
I will make an informed choice. Thank you for your input.
Being obsessed with baby programmes I see two things regularly that I don't see why anyone would WANT to do either:
1) natural childbirth.
2) breastfeeding.
There is valid reason for both but I do not understand why it is not a grudging acceptance that they are better as opposed to a DESIRED outcome. Women WANT these things, they want the painful unpleasant options. Really? You're not just saying that?
We get brainwashed, virtually from conception. Natural is best. Do not deviate from Natural.
Yada yada.
Desired outcome: healthy child. Nothing else really matters.
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