Well, baby has been reading the textbooks: as noted yesterday, starting this week the movements are less due to lack of space, but they are more like kicks than somersaults.
I noticed.
Today I was shouty, mad, depressed, tearful, ranty and thoroughly rubbish. There are a number of possible causes for this:
1) lack of sleep
2) pain
3) hormones
4) lack of nicotine
5) all of the above.
I'm not coping at the moment, or to be less dramatic, I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all. Too much to prepare for. Too much too contemplate. Too many ailments to cope with.
It is not possible for me to sit and marvel at my bump at the exclusion of all other activities and this is proving a problem. Having not done anything useful or left the house today, the pelvis is calmer. Yay.
Today was the start of the 29th week, or 28 weeks completed as seems to be conventional. As such, I have updates on all my baby tracker things. Baby's eyes are now open and susceptible to light and dark. So I've been shining a torch on my bump. A little response, not much, but she has been restful today (which means she's probably about to get active as I prepare to sleep).
I thought I might be leaking fluid today, but I'm not, so it must have have been a momentary lapse of bladder, which is udderly (heh) depressing.
Paranoia: someone I saw on Thursday has the cold. I do not want the cold. Grr to the cold. I am probably immune to it though, I must have had every strain of cold in existence by now.
Yes, I know. Literal I am rarely.
So that's me at 28 weeks on the eve of the last ever News of the World.
That's the big news. I might look back and care some day. Meh.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Sunday, 26 June 2011
A new worry
So last week I saw the hygienist. Due to shortness of her working hours and two cancellations on my part (once as I was unwell, and once as O was home ill from school) I have been waiting to see her since December. And I saw her last week, to be told I have gum disease. I'm a bit narked as I would have had it treated long since.
I'm not sure if it has advanced to periodontal disease, I think she said it had, but that is Not Good.
This morning a crown which has been happily in situ for about 15 years just fell out. So I thought I'd look further into the causes of dental rubbishness during pregnancy.
Studies have indicated the bacteria can pass to the foetus and cause harm. There is one - just one - Daily Mail et al reported case of a stillbirth caused by the bacteria. More credible recent studies indicate there is not necessarily any link between gum disease and risk to the foetus, but there is a lot of literature to suggest there is. The link supposedly is to preterm delivery and low birthweight; the latter applying to full term babies as well as pre term.
I do know better than to ask Dr Google anything. The stillbirth is only reported in sources renowned for dubious "facts". The link is reported on general scaremongering sites.
The hygienist indicated no need for concern, other than a desire to stop the receding gums in their tracks. The gums are being treated, and I am now borderline OCD about dental hygiene.
I'm sure it'll be fine. But - yikes - something else to freak out about.
I'm not sure if it has advanced to periodontal disease, I think she said it had, but that is Not Good.
This morning a crown which has been happily in situ for about 15 years just fell out. So I thought I'd look further into the causes of dental rubbishness during pregnancy.
Studies have indicated the bacteria can pass to the foetus and cause harm. There is one - just one - Daily Mail et al reported case of a stillbirth caused by the bacteria. More credible recent studies indicate there is not necessarily any link between gum disease and risk to the foetus, but there is a lot of literature to suggest there is. The link supposedly is to preterm delivery and low birthweight; the latter applying to full term babies as well as pre term.
I do know better than to ask Dr Google anything. The stillbirth is only reported in sources renowned for dubious "facts". The link is reported on general scaremongering sites.
The hygienist indicated no need for concern, other than a desire to stop the receding gums in their tracks. The gums are being treated, and I am now borderline OCD about dental hygiene.
I'm sure it'll be fine. But - yikes - something else to freak out about.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Big baby?
I'm having concerns about the size of my baby. Not serious concerns, just minor niggles.
Namely: her brothers were a normal good size and they were twins. R was 7lb 1. So if that's what twins grow to inside of me, then what will a singleton do? Second babies are supposedly larger than first, which I take to be second pregnancies, I don't think it increases with every baby.
Plus my bump is (slightly, not comment-worthily) big, I was measuring 24cm on Friday, which is within the normal range of 2cm either way of expected (22cm at 22 weeks) but still bigger. Her lengths were all normal at the scan, but normal has a range. An 11lb baby is normal.
As I don't plan to deliver naturally (reason #876), that isn't an issue, but I am concerned about how the old pelvis will hold out. For the last 6 weeks before B-Day, I will have to transfer the boys to and from school.
Who knows. I was 2 weeks early and was something like 6lb. Hubby was 6 weeks early and tiny. My niece was 35 weeks and just under 4lb. These things don't indicate a big baby genetically.
Having said that, my mother didn't smoke but the mothers of the other 2 mentioned babies did. One thing that seems to be common to all smoking mothers-to-be in my experience is premature, small babies. So possibly irrelevant.
Maybe twins aren't small, that maybe takes into consideration the early arrival of many twins. And the fact that twins are considered "full term" at something like 34 weeks instead of the 37 for single babies.
I could perhaps aid baby by eating less sweeties. I never eat sweets much normally, and I am eating pounds of sweets. Ridiculous!! Way to give myself gestational diabetes.
Kicking is marvellous, I discovered today that she will kick in response to my voice, possibly objecting to the booming voicebox. But it's still cool to talk and get a response. It may make me look like a lunatic, I can't say that I have entirely restricted this to home ("that was a bit loud wasn't it?" or "hello there!" in response to a kick) but at home I chatter away about what we're having for lunch etc. The boys will chat to her as well; O told me off earlier for being mean to her when I said she was a lazybones for not kicking on demand.
For all I am sore, tired, grumpy and overwhelmed, I wouldn't swap this for anything. I thought today how utterly wonderful it is to be a woman and have a life growing inside you. I will always look fondly back at this stage and remember these kicks and how special it felt. I do feel womanly and goddesslike today.
Not sexy though. That's mad.
Ooh, madness, that's reminds me...
Namely: her brothers were a normal good size and they were twins. R was 7lb 1. So if that's what twins grow to inside of me, then what will a singleton do? Second babies are supposedly larger than first, which I take to be second pregnancies, I don't think it increases with every baby.
Plus my bump is (slightly, not comment-worthily) big, I was measuring 24cm on Friday, which is within the normal range of 2cm either way of expected (22cm at 22 weeks) but still bigger. Her lengths were all normal at the scan, but normal has a range. An 11lb baby is normal.
As I don't plan to deliver naturally (reason #876), that isn't an issue, but I am concerned about how the old pelvis will hold out. For the last 6 weeks before B-Day, I will have to transfer the boys to and from school.
Who knows. I was 2 weeks early and was something like 6lb. Hubby was 6 weeks early and tiny. My niece was 35 weeks and just under 4lb. These things don't indicate a big baby genetically.
Having said that, my mother didn't smoke but the mothers of the other 2 mentioned babies did. One thing that seems to be common to all smoking mothers-to-be in my experience is premature, small babies. So possibly irrelevant.
Maybe twins aren't small, that maybe takes into consideration the early arrival of many twins. And the fact that twins are considered "full term" at something like 34 weeks instead of the 37 for single babies.
I could perhaps aid baby by eating less sweeties. I never eat sweets much normally, and I am eating pounds of sweets. Ridiculous!! Way to give myself gestational diabetes.
Kicking is marvellous, I discovered today that she will kick in response to my voice, possibly objecting to the booming voicebox. But it's still cool to talk and get a response. It may make me look like a lunatic, I can't say that I have entirely restricted this to home ("that was a bit loud wasn't it?" or "hello there!" in response to a kick) but at home I chatter away about what we're having for lunch etc. The boys will chat to her as well; O told me off earlier for being mean to her when I said she was a lazybones for not kicking on demand.
For all I am sore, tired, grumpy and overwhelmed, I wouldn't swap this for anything. I thought today how utterly wonderful it is to be a woman and have a life growing inside you. I will always look fondly back at this stage and remember these kicks and how special it felt. I do feel womanly and goddesslike today.
Not sexy though. That's mad.
Ooh, madness, that's reminds me...
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Insults
I'm fed up with people and so I shall revisit a previous rant.
Yes, I'm pregnant. Woo. I have a big tummy. Please, do, comment perpetually on it.
You ARE big, aren't you? Goodness!! Are you SURE you're not having twins? 22 weeks you say? Sheesh, that's big for 22 weeks. Ha ha, the other twin must be hiding. Ha! Imagine if it was twins. Wouldn't that be sooooo funny? Are you sure it's not twins? Positive? You are big though.
First of all, I'm a bit conscious of the fact that I have a massive bump. I always have a bit of a fat belly, even when the rest of me is slim. I don't expect people to comment on it however, but no, now I'm pregnant it's ok to say I've got a big tummy. Sure it is.
To excuse myself, I did have twins before, I wasn't in the best shape pre conception, Also, I haven't gained weight elsewhere so I'm all bump. And finally, I'm not actually measuring big for my dates according to the midwife yesterday, I'm bang on average.
Besides, I'm tall. My husband is tall. My twins were 6lb2 and 7lb1, which is massive for twins. I don't expect a tiny baby.
The best came from a colleague yesterday. She commented that it was "amazing" and shook her head.
To what amazing thing were we referring?
Why, the fact that at my age and with the older children at school and all that, to be having another baby, of course. That amazing thing. More head shaking and I don't know how you'll do it.
Ahem.
I am 36, plenty older than me have had babies. And as to the age gap, can I go back to the fact that the existing children are twins, which startlingly means that there are two of them? Had I had one baby, then another after 2.5 years and then this one after another 2.5, would anyone have commented on the gap? I doubt it. Yet having the two and then a five year gap, that's amazing. I think it's a brilliant gap and that I'd have struggled to cope with a lesser gap, but what would I know?
It's a free for all to pregnant ladies, I know it's not just me. Our pregnancies are public property. Our bumps are there for the touching, any aspect of our appearance can be commented on, and the health, temperament, name and gender of the baby can be freely speculated upon. I am open
to being told how I feel about my unborn child because, yes, you do know more about that than I do. Now is also totally the time to discuss my future procreation plans.
Note sarcasm. Please note sarcasm.
Interestingly, it is primarily women who are grandmothers who offend the greatest. Younger women, especially the childless, are either uninterested or ask sensible questions and express sensible sympathy. Having given birth you become a guru (I have myself done this) and apparently once your progeny have given birth, then you are in fact a fully qualified birth and parenting counsellor.
In short, or not as the case may be, sod off everyone who wants to comment. I don't want to hear it and I've almost certainly heard it before.
Yes, I'm pregnant. Woo. I have a big tummy. Please, do, comment perpetually on it.
You ARE big, aren't you? Goodness!! Are you SURE you're not having twins? 22 weeks you say? Sheesh, that's big for 22 weeks. Ha ha, the other twin must be hiding. Ha! Imagine if it was twins. Wouldn't that be sooooo funny? Are you sure it's not twins? Positive? You are big though.
First of all, I'm a bit conscious of the fact that I have a massive bump. I always have a bit of a fat belly, even when the rest of me is slim. I don't expect people to comment on it however, but no, now I'm pregnant it's ok to say I've got a big tummy. Sure it is.
To excuse myself, I did have twins before, I wasn't in the best shape pre conception, Also, I haven't gained weight elsewhere so I'm all bump. And finally, I'm not actually measuring big for my dates according to the midwife yesterday, I'm bang on average.
Besides, I'm tall. My husband is tall. My twins were 6lb2 and 7lb1, which is massive for twins. I don't expect a tiny baby.
The best came from a colleague yesterday. She commented that it was "amazing" and shook her head.
To what amazing thing were we referring?
Why, the fact that at my age and with the older children at school and all that, to be having another baby, of course. That amazing thing. More head shaking and I don't know how you'll do it.
Ahem.
I am 36, plenty older than me have had babies. And as to the age gap, can I go back to the fact that the existing children are twins, which startlingly means that there are two of them? Had I had one baby, then another after 2.5 years and then this one after another 2.5, would anyone have commented on the gap? I doubt it. Yet having the two and then a five year gap, that's amazing. I think it's a brilliant gap and that I'd have struggled to cope with a lesser gap, but what would I know?
It's a free for all to pregnant ladies, I know it's not just me. Our pregnancies are public property. Our bumps are there for the touching, any aspect of our appearance can be commented on, and the health, temperament, name and gender of the baby can be freely speculated upon. I am open
to being told how I feel about my unborn child because, yes, you do know more about that than I do. Now is also totally the time to discuss my future procreation plans.
Note sarcasm. Please note sarcasm.
Interestingly, it is primarily women who are grandmothers who offend the greatest. Younger women, especially the childless, are either uninterested or ask sensible questions and express sensible sympathy. Having given birth you become a guru (I have myself done this) and apparently once your progeny have given birth, then you are in fact a fully qualified birth and parenting counsellor.
In short, or not as the case may be, sod off everyone who wants to comment. I don't want to hear it and I've almost certainly heard it before.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Gender theory
I've been a-reading about nub prediction theory. Supposedly both genders have a "protrusion" at 11-14 weeks, known as a nub. Probably not known by the medical profession as the nub but known anyroad.
Said nub sticks up at 30 degrees if it's a boy, and less than this if it's a girl.
So based on my best ultrasound picture, which is la:
...it's a girl. There's nothing sticking up!! Or maybe there is? The sticky outty bit is at the same angle as the spine. Which means girl. Argh. I wanna know!!
2 weeks time and I should know. Woot!
Said nub sticks up at 30 degrees if it's a boy, and less than this if it's a girl.
So based on my best ultrasound picture, which is la:
...it's a girl. There's nothing sticking up!! Or maybe there is? The sticky outty bit is at the same angle as the spine. Which means girl. Argh. I wanna know!!
2 weeks time and I should know. Woot!
Friday, 29 April 2011
18 weeks!
Oh it's slow... Still, tomorrow morning my doppler should arrive and I can have a whole new game of paranoia/frustration. And I will be 18 weeks, I'm not there for a few minutes yet.
With regards to the doppler, it is likely I will be able to work it, due to not actually being an idiot, and I'll hear baby's heartbeat. Which would be exciting, I'm not convinced yet by the maybe kicks. It's still possible my digestion is getting more bubbly/poppy/fluttersome as time goes by.
I am insanely tired. As nobody is interested in taking my bloods I may well be anaemic.
I resent the lack of 16 week appointment - can you tell?
I equally well am probably fine, they did check my bloods at almost 13 weeks and I assume all was well as they haven't said otherwise. Sleep is not great at the moment, awffy uncomfortable. As such I am a bit apprehensive about the third trimester and the definite lack of comfort and sleep that ensues.
I might buy some Floradix stuff, I don't eat a lot of iron rich food at all. Calcium is sorted, I consume vast amounts of milk. I eat plenty enough fruit, but I'm not great on meat or iron rich other-things.
Are chick peas high in iron? Avocados? Hmm.
Other things that happened today: Prince William got married and a friend had a baby girl named Charlotte.
With regards to the doppler, it is likely I will be able to work it, due to not actually being an idiot, and I'll hear baby's heartbeat. Which would be exciting, I'm not convinced yet by the maybe kicks. It's still possible my digestion is getting more bubbly/poppy/fluttersome as time goes by.
I am insanely tired. As nobody is interested in taking my bloods I may well be anaemic.
I resent the lack of 16 week appointment - can you tell?
I equally well am probably fine, they did check my bloods at almost 13 weeks and I assume all was well as they haven't said otherwise. Sleep is not great at the moment, awffy uncomfortable. As such I am a bit apprehensive about the third trimester and the definite lack of comfort and sleep that ensues.
I might buy some Floradix stuff, I don't eat a lot of iron rich food at all. Calcium is sorted, I consume vast amounts of milk. I eat plenty enough fruit, but I'm not great on meat or iron rich other-things.
Are chick peas high in iron? Avocados? Hmm.
Other things that happened today: Prince William got married and a friend had a baby girl named Charlotte.
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Caved
I have ordered a Doppler, it will be here in 2 days. This is probably stupid for a couple of reasons:
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.
2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.
It didn't cost much.
My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.
Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22
That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.
I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".
An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.
Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.
Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.
Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.
Madness ahoy!
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Gestating away quietly
Nothing much. Bump is huge and tense and way higher than it should be, assuming there's a correct place for it to be. It's a bit uncomfortable but nothing majorly concerning, just the odd twinge of a stretching ligament here and there. Fast movement is simply not going to happen, and sleep is limited, left sided and with strategically placed pillows. Boobs are painful, still, they're on a mission.
To Mars, I think.
I am still very tired (presumably mostly attributable to the nightly discomfort that doesn't resemble sleep) but generally feel mostly human. No more nausea and appetite is pretty normal, although I do get fuller quicker. Foetal movements seem to be on the increase, but are still not definitively foetal.
I will continue to write foetal by the way, even if virtually all have moved toward fetal.
Autocorrect wants to change fetal to feral. It's happy with foetal. This pleases me.
Tonight baby wants Chinese for tea. Who am I to deny my youngest child?
To Mars, I think.
I am still very tired (presumably mostly attributable to the nightly discomfort that doesn't resemble sleep) but generally feel mostly human. No more nausea and appetite is pretty normal, although I do get fuller quicker. Foetal movements seem to be on the increase, but are still not definitively foetal.
I will continue to write foetal by the way, even if virtually all have moved toward fetal.
Autocorrect wants to change fetal to feral. It's happy with foetal. This pleases me.
Tonight baby wants Chinese for tea. Who am I to deny my youngest child?
Friday, 1 April 2011
Hormonal!!
Oh. I'm so narked. Everything is irritating me beyond belief.
I know I'm boring about babies. I have difficulty being interested in anything non baby. But I feel a bit like
I'M PREGNANT
and maybe that gets a bit of dispensation for being kind of crap. And maybe a bit of help with stuff would be good. I'm so tired, work is as much as I can do, so the housework is piling up. Worse than usual, I'm not what you'd call tidy.
I want this baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. I wish this time away, I want to be at the other end without the worry and stress and feeling diabolical. I want to meet my healthy baby (when s/he's cooked) and stop being pregnant.
It would help if other people were a bit more interested.
I know I'm boring about babies. I have difficulty being interested in anything non baby. But I feel a bit like
I'M PREGNANT
and maybe that gets a bit of dispensation for being kind of crap. And maybe a bit of help with stuff would be good. I'm so tired, work is as much as I can do, so the housework is piling up. Worse than usual, I'm not what you'd call tidy.
I want this baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. I wish this time away, I want to be at the other end without the worry and stress and feeling diabolical. I want to meet my healthy baby (when s/he's cooked) and stop being pregnant.
It would help if other people were a bit more interested.
Thursday, 31 March 2011
A long and endless wait
Oh, this is the tedious bit.
I don't feel better, I feel super tired super grumpy, and while I feel nauseous less often, I feel much more so when I do, sometimes actually spewing.
So that's a lie. Pfft to the second semester wellness. I had to take yesterday off and spend it in bed just to function. Yippee.
I continue to have a bloated stomach of slowed down bowels and doughnuts/toast/sweets (only put on 4lb??) so it's a bit hard to tell if I'm showing for real. I sure look pregnant, but it's not real. Even if it's mighty weird - periodically my whole abdomen goes really tight. I know you can experience Braxton Hicks from early on but I would have expected that to be restricted to the uterus, which is currently lost in there somewhere.
I may look up what Braxton Hicks actually are. I don't remember that from before, but I was so obviously pregnant and very very miserable I possibly didn't notice. And that was my halcyonic first pregnancy in an unbattered uterus.
I have a permanent sour taste in my mouth. It's not nice.
The wait bit alluded to: it's 7 weeks today before anything happens. That's two weeks less than it's been since I found out I was pregnant. Which was aeons ago. That's when the anomaly scan is and until then I see noone unless hypochondria or something real and bad happens. Wah. And between now and then I have to shape my dissertation into something for a 15 minute presentation. Which is my idea of HELL and as I shall be over 19 weeks by then (it's the same week as the scan) I will be looking distinctly fecund.
I hope to feel lovely reassuring movement soon. I feel little bubbles of movement but they might well be non foetal. I want positive foetal kicking please.
I am not buying a Doppler. I'd go proper mad. Although I'm not sure listening for a heartbeat with my son's toy stethoscope qualifies me as sane.
I don't feel better, I feel super tired super grumpy, and while I feel nauseous less often, I feel much more so when I do, sometimes actually spewing.
So that's a lie. Pfft to the second semester wellness. I had to take yesterday off and spend it in bed just to function. Yippee.
I continue to have a bloated stomach of slowed down bowels and doughnuts/toast/sweets (only put on 4lb??) so it's a bit hard to tell if I'm showing for real. I sure look pregnant, but it's not real. Even if it's mighty weird - periodically my whole abdomen goes really tight. I know you can experience Braxton Hicks from early on but I would have expected that to be restricted to the uterus, which is currently lost in there somewhere.
I may look up what Braxton Hicks actually are. I don't remember that from before, but I was so obviously pregnant and very very miserable I possibly didn't notice. And that was my halcyonic first pregnancy in an unbattered uterus.
I have a permanent sour taste in my mouth. It's not nice.
The wait bit alluded to: it's 7 weeks today before anything happens. That's two weeks less than it's been since I found out I was pregnant. Which was aeons ago. That's when the anomaly scan is and until then I see noone unless hypochondria or something real and bad happens. Wah. And between now and then I have to shape my dissertation into something for a 15 minute presentation. Which is my idea of HELL and as I shall be over 19 weeks by then (it's the same week as the scan) I will be looking distinctly fecund.
I hope to feel lovely reassuring movement soon. I feel little bubbles of movement but they might well be non foetal. I want positive foetal kicking please.
I am not buying a Doppler. I'd go proper mad. Although I'm not sure listening for a heartbeat with my son's toy stethoscope qualifies me as sane.
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Worse!!???!!
Well, today, at 13+3 weeks pregnant, we have a peak of the nausea. Building up all day to a crescendo of actual vomit at teatime. The joys!
I feel positively dreadful. And very tired. And very very sick.
Today's worry: it's something more ominous than morning sickness. Which it almost certainly isn't, it's a lot like morning sickness just worse.
I felt better for about half a day. Yuk yuk yuk.
I am predicting a day in bed to be required tomorrow. Oh I hurt. Oh I feel sick. Oh oh oh.
Poor me. I do hope this is still a positive sign for baby.
I feel positively dreadful. And very tired. And very very sick.
Today's worry: it's something more ominous than morning sickness. Which it almost certainly isn't, it's a lot like morning sickness just worse.
I felt better for about half a day. Yuk yuk yuk.
I am predicting a day in bed to be required tomorrow. Oh I hurt. Oh I feel sick. Oh oh oh.
Poor me. I do hope this is still a positive sign for baby.
Sunday, 27 March 2011
12 and 13 weeks
Well, I am now 12 and 13 weeks. 12 because I know my cycles, 13 according to scan measurements. Almost everyone I know gets moved forward a week, and most go "overdue". Methinks its an imprecise science, especially as I was given one slightly undercooked twin 5 years ago, delivered 14 days before his original due date.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Anyway, I like being further on, it makes things happen sooner.
Symptoms and obsessions at what is now 13 weeks:
Boobs are mighty sore. Will this ever stop? They definitely didn't do that this month. O has an ear infection so has needed much cuddling and ooh it hurts if he lies against a boob. They may be better equipped for the old breastfeeding malarky which I am prepared to undertake if it works and on the strict proviso of top up formula at the first sign of two hourly feeds past the first week.
Said ear infection did make me think, supposedly breastfeeding protects against infections and bottle fed O does get rather a lot. Then again, so always have breastfed I. Who knows? I do still maintain that no child would wish to share my immune system a second longer than necessary and the twins (for that is how they are now known since the number of babies inside has been shown to be less than two) knew better than to drink from the antibody/nutrient deficient source.
Decision to breastfeed does depend rather a lot on whether the whiplash pain returns after the birth. There is no way I can survive on occasional paracetamol if the pain comes back, which it may or may not.
Why the obsession? Why, I have been to the hospital now. I have in my possession one book all about how to/why to and how to overcome the endless difficulties, (Easy? Really?) one DVD about how utterly great it is and numerous breastfeeding goodies. Including some breast pads. Lovely! But I do need them even if only fleetingly as the milk pops in then out considerably after birth as before (but see above for mental breasts limbering up many months too early).
The nausea is now restricted to only when I'm properly hungry. But I don't fancy much (other than unpasteurised cheese or pate, obvs) and I get to the hungry and nauseous stage of not wanting to eat versus knowing that if I do eat I'll feel better.
Thing I fancy eating:
Sweets, especially fizzy ones. Although, who knew gummy bears were so good? (I don't usually eat sweets, it's a whole new world and I do have to keep hiding them from the children who don't get many and who do not need to see their mother eat them by the pound)
Crisps, but only vinegary ones
Anything I'm not allowed in pregnancy almost without exception
Some undefined cheese based thing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe a cheese scone?
Cheese of most types, on cream crackers.
And that's about it. Nutritious huh?
Given my inaccurate feelings of twins, I am giving no credence to my current conviction that baby is a girl. I think she/he has a feminine face, and she looked like an Emma. Yeah, go on, mock me...
7 weeks or so till I find out. Then 19 weeks or so to think up a boys name if required. Boys today suggested Roger or Finbar. Er, no.
I'm quietly confident on no anomalies based on the glorious health at Friday's scan. Acknowledging such immediately makes me panic on the whole tempting fate train of thought. But no, we shall worry not.
Worry remains restricted mostly to the sudden death of the child, which never really wears off. Worry of miscarriage becomes worry of stillbirth, then cot death, then some type of accident. I've seen my little wriggler, it's a person now and to lose that would be devastating.
And that about does the week that wasn't.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Worry over
Well as predicted in my more positive moments, there's one baby and a healthy one to boot.
Much wriggling and a good heartbeat, a low risk for Downs on the nuchal translucency scan (and there is a nasal bone present which means not Downs) and everything is very good.
My new due date is 01/10/11 so although I was 12 weeks today, I have moved forward to 12 weeks 6 and will be 13 weeks tomorrow.
I had to wait around for almost an hour after I arrived with a very full bladder, which was unpleasant - but did mean I missed work altogether. My bladder was so full my baby was up at my waist when the sonographer was scanning! I had to empty some to allow the nuchal scan and it was still full after emptying about a bladderful.
I feel so happy, no twins so we can all fit in a regular car and I can do swimming and the likes, and above all else a healthy baby.
One concern: baby was very wriggly. O was wriggly and R was calm in scans. Ois a very hyper child, this may well be another hyper child.
As long as he/she (I think she) is as sweet as he is then it's ok though.
A doctor recommended a VBAC, I did not agree. We discussed and she wrote down that I understood and that I wanted a section. Phew. I've to discuss again at 34 weeks. Still want a section!
Much wriggling and a good heartbeat, a low risk for Downs on the nuchal translucency scan (and there is a nasal bone present which means not Downs) and everything is very good.
My new due date is 01/10/11 so although I was 12 weeks today, I have moved forward to 12 weeks 6 and will be 13 weeks tomorrow.
I had to wait around for almost an hour after I arrived with a very full bladder, which was unpleasant - but did mean I missed work altogether. My bladder was so full my baby was up at my waist when the sonographer was scanning! I had to empty some to allow the nuchal scan and it was still full after emptying about a bladderful.
I feel so happy, no twins so we can all fit in a regular car and I can do swimming and the likes, and above all else a healthy baby.
One concern: baby was very wriggly. O was wriggly and R was calm in scans. Ois a very hyper child, this may well be another hyper child.
As long as he/she (I think she) is as sweet as he is then it's ok though.
A doctor recommended a VBAC, I did not agree. We discussed and she wrote down that I understood and that I wanted a section. Phew. I've to discuss again at 34 weeks. Still want a section!
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Fraught
Oh, I'm a bit worked up.
1 sleep to go. So, boys to bed, tea, bit of TV, maybe a bath, then bed probably not with sleep, then get up, drink lots of water and head to maternity hospital for 9.45.
Aaaaaaaaaargh. It's basically here.
It's only a scan. The probability of there being one perfectly healthy baby in there is very high, as I keep saying, but that doesn't stop the panic.
Two. None. Three. Deformities. None. Two. Tumour. Aaaaaargh.
One. Healthy. Likely.
I feel stupendously pregnant today. Sore, nauseous to extremes, vast chested, fatigued, slow. Wriggles from below are surely foetal. All seems well.
I'm still panicky. Right now I could really go a cigarette. I'm not going to have one, obviously, but I need some sort of crutch and I don't think gummy bears (oh yes) will cut it. Gummy bears it is though.
Are they gummi? I don't care.
Breathe. Breathe. Eat sweets. Breathe. Don't be sick. Maybe be sick?
1 sleep to go. So, boys to bed, tea, bit of TV, maybe a bath, then bed probably not with sleep, then get up, drink lots of water and head to maternity hospital for 9.45.
Aaaaaaaaaargh. It's basically here.
It's only a scan. The probability of there being one perfectly healthy baby in there is very high, as I keep saying, but that doesn't stop the panic.
Two. None. Three. Deformities. None. Two. Tumour. Aaaaaargh.
One. Healthy. Likely.
I feel stupendously pregnant today. Sore, nauseous to extremes, vast chested, fatigued, slow. Wriggles from below are surely foetal. All seems well.
I'm still panicky. Right now I could really go a cigarette. I'm not going to have one, obviously, but I need some sort of crutch and I don't think gummy bears (oh yes) will cut it. Gummy bears it is though.
Are they gummi? I don't care.
Breathe. Breathe. Eat sweets. Breathe. Don't be sick. Maybe be sick?
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Anticipating the worst
Aside from the perpetual nausea that I've almost stopped noticing, I feel a different kind of sick today.
Each time I think about the scan I feel ill, short of breath and kind of faint. Which is approximately once every five minutes, for five minutes.
I am no longer concerned by number of foetuses. What I am terrified of is that they tell me there are no healthy babies inside me.
Fear one: no heartbeat/foetus
Fear two: something obviously wrong, an non-viable foetus.
Fear three: nuchal scanning flags up a high risk.
Right now there could be several in there and as long as they all have heartbeats and the correct quota of organs and chromosomes I don't care. I just want healthy!!
Once I've established there's a heartbeat etc I'll get onto worrying about any anomalies. What gender my precious bundle turns out to be is of no consequence at all, just as long as they're well.
One little girl would be nice. One little boy would be nice. Two little girls would be nice. One girl, one boy would be nice. Two little boys would be nice. JUST AS LONG AS THEY ARE OK.
I can't stop obsessing about missed miscarriages. I still feel pregnant. I still test pregnant. I so want to still be pregnant.
2 sleeps now.
Each time I think about the scan I feel ill, short of breath and kind of faint. Which is approximately once every five minutes, for five minutes.
I am no longer concerned by number of foetuses. What I am terrified of is that they tell me there are no healthy babies inside me.
Fear one: no heartbeat/foetus
Fear two: something obviously wrong, an non-viable foetus.
Fear three: nuchal scanning flags up a high risk.
Right now there could be several in there and as long as they all have heartbeats and the correct quota of organs and chromosomes I don't care. I just want healthy!!
Once I've established there's a heartbeat etc I'll get onto worrying about any anomalies. What gender my precious bundle turns out to be is of no consequence at all, just as long as they're well.
One little girl would be nice. One little boy would be nice. Two little girls would be nice. One girl, one boy would be nice. Two little boys would be nice. JUST AS LONG AS THEY ARE OK.
I can't stop obsessing about missed miscarriages. I still feel pregnant. I still test pregnant. I so want to still be pregnant.
2 sleeps now.
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Twin buggy?
Well. 3 sleeps, or lack thereof.
I have spent considerable time today looking at double buggies.
And they are way cooler than when we were buying last time. Current fave is the Baby Jogger City Select with second seat. It's a tad pricey though.
More convinced on the twins thing - the newly popped uterus is rather substantial.
Symtomwise I've felt pretty ghastly today; on several occasions (including right now) I've been sure I'm going to actually throw up. That's not good, other than being v positive for health of any babies.
I don't want more twins.
Then again, I quite do as the early tricky stage is so quick and it'd be lovely to have twins to be twinny with each other and the existing twins could have a baby each to cuddle. Which would be well cute. I think I'll be a bit disappointed either way.
I know. Mad as a mad thing.
As long as any babies are healthy that's all that really matters. Within reason. Triplets would be bad.
Gaviscon and or a wee vomit required. Then I shall attempt to have sleep one of three.
I have spent considerable time today looking at double buggies.
And they are way cooler than when we were buying last time. Current fave is the Baby Jogger City Select with second seat. It's a tad pricey though.
More convinced on the twins thing - the newly popped uterus is rather substantial.
Symtomwise I've felt pretty ghastly today; on several occasions (including right now) I've been sure I'm going to actually throw up. That's not good, other than being v positive for health of any babies.
I don't want more twins.
Then again, I quite do as the early tricky stage is so quick and it'd be lovely to have twins to be twinny with each other and the existing twins could have a baby each to cuddle. Which would be well cute. I think I'll be a bit disappointed either way.
I know. Mad as a mad thing.
As long as any babies are healthy that's all that really matters. Within reason. Triplets would be bad.
Gaviscon and or a wee vomit required. Then I shall attempt to have sleep one of three.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Snippets
Soooooooooo tired.
Sooooooooo sicky.
Boobs sooooooooo sore.
Head soooooooo achy, as is neck a bit today - not fair.
It's meant to get better after 10 weeks. This is not better.
Good news: uterus is present and palpable. Woo. Growth continues, bad news less likely.
4 sleeps. 4!! That's like nearly none. It's really soon. No more weeks, it's just "on Friday" now. 3 more days at work. 4 sleeps, or going to bed-ings anyway.
And then it'll be x weeks till any tests and about 7 weeks till the anomaly scan, so that's up to 7 weeks of worry about abnormalities.
But this week we are worrying about the existence of any babies.
Sooooooooo sicky.
Boobs sooooooooo sore.
Head soooooooo achy, as is neck a bit today - not fair.
It's meant to get better after 10 weeks. This is not better.
Good news: uterus is present and palpable. Woo. Growth continues, bad news less likely.
4 sleeps. 4!! That's like nearly none. It's really soon. No more weeks, it's just "on Friday" now. 3 more days at work. 4 sleeps, or going to bed-ings anyway.
And then it'll be x weeks till any tests and about 7 weeks till the anomaly scan, so that's up to 7 weeks of worry about abnormalities.
But this week we are worrying about the existence of any babies.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
This week!
Well, since ever I found out I was pregnant, or to be more precise, since ever I started feeling pregnant - tired, sick, intolerant - I have found going to work a chore. It just occurred to me as I was having the Sunday evening blues, that as I wish away this week till Friday, this Friday is scan day! The days I wish away anyway will be gone and I'll be there.
And I pretty much won't have to work on Friday as the scan will take most of the morning - I work 9.30 till 12.30 and the scan is at 9.45 for 2 hours. So I shall pop in after, update the necessaries and show off my scan picture of my healthy singleton, and leave again after half an hour or so. Huzzah for paid antenatal appointments.
I incidentally won't be going to work after if it's a swift scan with bad news, I'll be having a meltdown. I may also be having a breakdown if it's multiples.
I'm not sure what I'll think about after Friday. I guess I'll have results to worry about, then possibly further tests, plus general worry and complaining. I don't recall ever letting up the worry or the complaining when I was pregnant.
The worry goes:
trimester one: don't bleed, don't miscarry;
trimester two: don't just die, don't be broken, please keep kicking me;
trimester three: keep up that kicking now, come out safely, don't be broken, don't die, don't kill me either.
The complaining goes:
trimester one: I feel sick, I'm tired, I hurt, I can't sleep, ooh my breasts hurt;
Trimester two: I still feel sick, I'm still tired, I still hurt, I'm not blooming, I still can't sleep;
Trimester three: I have chronic indigestion and the stomach capacity of a mouse, breathing isn't so easy, everything is too much effort, I'm still very tired, I haven't slept in weeks, I can't lie on my back or front or right side, actually everything hurts, I've been pregnant forever, I want it to be over.
Yeah, I guess there's lots to say, even if it is a tad repetitive.
I am currently in the bath - wooo! still novel after 21 months unable to. I tend to have a bath at the same time of day most nights, and each bath I can feel a distinct flurry of something going on. I don't know if it's baby moving or not, but it's both reassuring and nice. I may be deriving comfort from some wind but it sure feels like tiny foetal acrobatics. It doesn't happen any other time other than in the bath and I remember the bath was the best time for movements with the boys. So here's hoping. Here's not hoping the fact that I can feel it means it's twins. The existing twins have bickered and wound each other up all day today and the thought of another twosome just does not appeal!
5 sleeps.
And I pretty much won't have to work on Friday as the scan will take most of the morning - I work 9.30 till 12.30 and the scan is at 9.45 for 2 hours. So I shall pop in after, update the necessaries and show off my scan picture of my healthy singleton, and leave again after half an hour or so. Huzzah for paid antenatal appointments.
I incidentally won't be going to work after if it's a swift scan with bad news, I'll be having a meltdown. I may also be having a breakdown if it's multiples.
I'm not sure what I'll think about after Friday. I guess I'll have results to worry about, then possibly further tests, plus general worry and complaining. I don't recall ever letting up the worry or the complaining when I was pregnant.
The worry goes:
trimester one: don't bleed, don't miscarry;
trimester two: don't just die, don't be broken, please keep kicking me;
trimester three: keep up that kicking now, come out safely, don't be broken, don't die, don't kill me either.
The complaining goes:
trimester one: I feel sick, I'm tired, I hurt, I can't sleep, ooh my breasts hurt;
Trimester two: I still feel sick, I'm still tired, I still hurt, I'm not blooming, I still can't sleep;
Trimester three: I have chronic indigestion and the stomach capacity of a mouse, breathing isn't so easy, everything is too much effort, I'm still very tired, I haven't slept in weeks, I can't lie on my back or front or right side, actually everything hurts, I've been pregnant forever, I want it to be over.
Yeah, I guess there's lots to say, even if it is a tad repetitive.
I am currently in the bath - wooo! still novel after 21 months unable to. I tend to have a bath at the same time of day most nights, and each bath I can feel a distinct flurry of something going on. I don't know if it's baby moving or not, but it's both reassuring and nice. I may be deriving comfort from some wind but it sure feels like tiny foetal acrobatics. It doesn't happen any other time other than in the bath and I remember the bath was the best time for movements with the boys. So here's hoping. Here's not hoping the fact that I can feel it means it's twins. The existing twins have bickered and wound each other up all day today and the thought of another twosome just does not appeal!
5 sleeps.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
6 sleeps!
Less than a week to go till scan, I can cope. And then they will tell me if all is well and single, or not. And I will know. Then nothing will change, I'll just know; it isn't an end point, it's just a stage.
Well, it hopefully isn't an end point anyway.
I can't feel my uterus. This doesn't mean it's not above the pubic line, it means I can't feel it. I don't think it's up high though, which means probably not twins. I do however feel little flutterings that could be movement which is very early and would be indicative of twins. And there is the fact that my bowels etc are currently located at the top of my ribs or thereabouts so that suggests a reshuffle is going on. Which it will be. But I can't tell what's there and what isn't usually there.
Symptoms remain sort of peaking. I have been exhausted today and spent most of it lying down, interspersed with nausea and the need to eat, along with the requisite hourly visits to the toilet. Boobs look nothing like themselves, as yesterday's changes remain.
So it doesn't look like anything's wearing off anyway. That's good, even if it makes me feel diabolical.
Next necessary purchases: nightwear and underwear. Both causing discomfort, and I've not started the grand expansion yet. Yikes. There are benefits to having your firstborn: no children to look after and a nice unscathed body with no scarring to be irritated by waistbands.
Just a moaning aside.
Well, it hopefully isn't an end point anyway.
I can't feel my uterus. This doesn't mean it's not above the pubic line, it means I can't feel it. I don't think it's up high though, which means probably not twins. I do however feel little flutterings that could be movement which is very early and would be indicative of twins. And there is the fact that my bowels etc are currently located at the top of my ribs or thereabouts so that suggests a reshuffle is going on. Which it will be. But I can't tell what's there and what isn't usually there.
Symptoms remain sort of peaking. I have been exhausted today and spent most of it lying down, interspersed with nausea and the need to eat, along with the requisite hourly visits to the toilet. Boobs look nothing like themselves, as yesterday's changes remain.
So it doesn't look like anything's wearing off anyway. That's good, even if it makes me feel diabolical.
Next necessary purchases: nightwear and underwear. Both causing discomfort, and I've not started the grand expansion yet. Yikes. There are benefits to having your firstborn: no children to look after and a nice unscathed body with no scarring to be irritated by waistbands.
Just a moaning aside.
Friday, 18 March 2011
11 weeks
And so we begin week 12...
Symptoms: today I have felt particularly nauseous, which I did hope to be easing a bit. Not so today, smells were bad and I actually thought I was going to throw up at one point. Boobs have gone mad, muchos sensitive today and the colour has changed and spread. They are covered in the little tiny bumps called Montgomery Tubercles which look like mould. Lovely stuff.
I had my midwife booking in visit today at the house. All fairly uneventful, but I did discover:
Forth Park (the maternity hospital) now do Nuchal Fold screening as standard. Which checks the fold of skin at the back of the neck; if thickened it can be indicative of Downs. They also do the blood test for Downs/Spina Bifida at the initial scan. So any risk should show up early and hey, what fun to have new worries. No. That's not the point. The point is to have more invasive but conclusive tests if a high risk is present.
This is where I get a bit twitchy about being "over 35". Only just over 35, I think my Downs risk is about 1 in 400. As my husband rightly pointed out, if I had 400 babies 1 would have Downs.
The other thing I discovered was that if I don't want a VBAC and really want another Caesarean, they will do what I want. That doesn't mean they won't heavily lean on me to change my mind but it is reassuring to have the final say.
7 sleeps now.
Symptoms: today I have felt particularly nauseous, which I did hope to be easing a bit. Not so today, smells were bad and I actually thought I was going to throw up at one point. Boobs have gone mad, muchos sensitive today and the colour has changed and spread. They are covered in the little tiny bumps called Montgomery Tubercles which look like mould. Lovely stuff.
I had my midwife booking in visit today at the house. All fairly uneventful, but I did discover:
Forth Park (the maternity hospital) now do Nuchal Fold screening as standard. Which checks the fold of skin at the back of the neck; if thickened it can be indicative of Downs. They also do the blood test for Downs/Spina Bifida at the initial scan. So any risk should show up early and hey, what fun to have new worries. No. That's not the point. The point is to have more invasive but conclusive tests if a high risk is present.
This is where I get a bit twitchy about being "over 35". Only just over 35, I think my Downs risk is about 1 in 400. As my husband rightly pointed out, if I had 400 babies 1 would have Downs.
The other thing I discovered was that if I don't want a VBAC and really want another Caesarean, they will do what I want. That doesn't mean they won't heavily lean on me to change my mind but it is reassuring to have the final say.
7 sleeps now.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)