The first, the everything

I'm not sure if I'm generally more meh about everything, or if I conceived first time so easily I took it all for granted, or if having twins meant it was impossible, but I have never had the "first born" thing. Most people seem to have this thing where their first born, only their first born, is excessively precious and fragile. This only lasts until the second child arrives and never applies to second and subsequent children.

All babies are precious and fragile, I know this. They are miraculous and all parents believe their child is the most beautiful, perfect, clever, wonderful person to ever live. (My babies actually are the cleverest and beautifullest, by the way). I do baffle at entourages for newborns though, and the amount of stuff that accompanies the entourage. It's the wonderment that accompanies it all, and I do feel (probably as a second born child) that it's a bit unfair that it only applies to baby number one.

One thing I don't do however that many many parents do and I don't understand it (although I am well envious that they have the option) is leave their babies overnight with a grandparent - or sister or cousin or friend - from a very young age. Said person is obviously part of the entourage, but I couldn't be apart from my babies overnight until they were over a year old, and even then I only ever left them with their father. Some smart cookies seem to arrange a regular night off virtually from birth.  for us, babysitting ended when we got home, and was a bi-monthly treat anyway (now it is less, sigh). The boys from the age of 4 were allowed overnight to their granny, three nights is the longest they have been away from us and I miss them like crazy when they're gone. Maybe my (relative) nonchalance about their existence stems from their omnipresence?

Many mothers return to work quite soon after their first baby is born (not so true with second babies, part time and career breaks seem to be more common with every additional child) and I envy them both the job to return to and the additional things  that they can provide for. But there are benefits to being at home and being the sole carer for your babies; the being apart must lead to slight overcompensation when together. Also only having one child may make it easier to devote oneself entirely to that one child. I may do that this time, I am quite excited at the thought of swimming, mother and toddlers, baby carriers, going back to work (maybe) and other things that were out of the question with twins. I may have the first-born experience with my singleton! I don't think she'll be staying away in a hurry though.

Many things

More buggy hunting. Today I was offered a used mamas and papas all terrain buggy complete with footmuff etc, which is ace (and very kind) but rather massive. So marvellous for any trips to beaches and general walking, not so good for taking in the car. As this is offered gratis, that frees up funds for a lightweight buggy.

Enter the Quinny Senzz. I think that's how you spell it? Solves the ooh-the-Quinny-Zapp-is-ace-and-small-but-a-bit-difficult-yet-the-Zapp-extra-folds-separate-from-the-seat issue by being almost as compact but folding intact. And it has a decent shopping basket. And it comes in burgundy, which is important (but as it has a pink lining does somewhat depend on the baby being female).

So that's today's decision. Plenty time to change my mind again; I have a currently private wish list that I update almost daily with the latest buggy choice.

Today's pregnancy related excitement was to find baby located up beside my belly button. Baby is a very wrigglesome baby indeed, she (unspecific means female - or something) stays in one position for no more than 30 seconds. That may be due to the hard machine prodding it of course. That didn't bother R though, he was chilled and relaxed through each scan. O was a very very wriggly foetus!

I seriously hope baby allows a peek at what gender s/he is, I simply can't wait until the birth. They nearly didn't find out with O at the 20 week scan as he wouldn't stay still. Urg.

Symptom of the moment: backache. I cannot lie on my back, it is veh veh painful. I know this is normal much later on in pregnancy but I'm not sure why now. Tummy lying is out, it just all feels a bit squashed, and lying on my right makes me feel queasy. Happy days. Or nights to be precise, sleep is tricky. I tried a pillow between the legs but that did seem to aggravate the problem last night.

It's ok until I try to lie down. Which makes sleeping easier. Usually.

Assuming it works out with my employer, I plan to take maternity leave as soon as I am entitled to at 29 weeks. I seriously don't think I can handle working, being pregnant and juggling childcare through the summer holidays. Admittedly this creates a problem for next summer if/when I go back, but I will need to have "proper" childcare in place, and I won't be pregnant then.

So, if all tallies with leave and whatnot, I have two months left to work.

That's still ages, even coming off early. And I'll have the joyous third trimester with two 5 year olds at home all day...

On second thoughts I may work through the holidays and sign the boys up for every playscheme going. Maternity leave can start when they go back. Which is the way to sanity??