Birth Day in a few minutes... Probably

I appear to be broken. I feel ok, yet my blood pressure remains high (very) despite medicinal intervention for a full week now. Today I have the addition of a slightly raised temperature and an increased white cell count.

Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.

But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.

But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.

So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!

As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.

What do you think?

She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.

One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.

Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.

I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.

One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.

I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.

Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.

Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.

Blinded by the screen (please)

Oh my. As my mind is made up that I want a caesarean section, and my overactive imagination/madness/heart rate monitoring has baby distinctively not head down - whatever the midwife says - I pondered as to how they get a baby out in a section if it's not head down. As I am now at the watch-all-birth-programmes-incessantly stage of pregnancy, I've seen footage of a fair few c-sections, which go as follows:

Cut through outer mother then inner uterus etc and tear membrane. Allow waters to gush out. Grab baby's head and tug until entire baby comes out. Stand by with sucker to clear airways. Snip cord, make sure baby is breathing and something a lot closer to pink than blue.

So, if head isn't first, which I actually have no reason whatsoever to presume (other than it would be useful for argument's sake if baby wasn't cephalic on Friday), what happens?

I did a silly thing to find out. I asked the Internet and found icky YouTube footage of caesarean delivery of transverse lying babies.

Yuk.

Most of the procedure is as above, except the bit where they ease the head out. If there isn't a head there, the surgeon appears to plunge his hand in, rummage around until he finds some part of baby, then tugs on that. Often the head will then be last out, and the baby is invariably more blue when this happens. It does not look nice, thank heavens for the screen that stops visibility to the mother - and father who is forbidden and unwilling to be at the action end.

I console myself that a) obstetricians tend to know what they're doing, b) both twins were breech so were probably head last, there was two sets of limbs etc to be tugged upon, and they were fine and c) there is no reason to think that baby isn't head first.

People do always say that c-sections feel like someone washing dishes inside you, so I guess there's always an element of rummaging. I so don't want to see it happening to me, it does not ever look reassuring. The commentary from the anaesthetist is far nicer.

Incidentally, the babies that come our the conventional route don't look any healthier or less blue and the mum looks considerably less healthy. I have not been put off.

I was asked today if I was hoping baby'd come early and naturally and I said no. But if she did, and it was quick, and therefore successful, then yes I do. What I don't want is an unsuccessful labour.

Baby's a go go this evening!! Whatever position she was in she sure isn't in it any more!