Baby essentials/non-essentials

You need stuff for a baby. Baby stuff is lush, you need to spend lots of time sighing over cute baby catalogues and proudly marching your bump into baby boutiques to have a peruse.

If you are rich and have copious amounts of space, you can buy it all. I am not and I do not, so I have to limit to what I actually need/can afford/have space for.

No need to point out that we have to move house to make space for baby and that this isn't aided by me not working properly for a bit. All will come good.

So. First of all, as you won't be allowed to leave the hospital without it, a car seat is essential - unless you don't have a car of course. There's two types, an infant carrier that comes out of the car and allows you to, well, carry your infant. The other alternative is to get a car seat that stays in the car and usually turns round from rear facing to front facing to be the next stage of car seat. Babies need to be rear facing until they are 9 months or so, the recommendation is to leave them rear facing as long as possible, until they grow too tall for the first stage seat. The Swedish car manufacturers recommend that children should be rear facing for the entire time they have car seats (as opposed to booster seats) which would point towards the in-car seat as the most economical option. Most people opt for the infant carrier for the purpose of carrying the baby about until they are a few months old (less than six months unless you are particularly strong/determined) and can have the added option of being compatible with a travel system for ease of transition to buggy (lift out of car, clip seat on buggy). Seats can be fitted to the car by seatbelt (perfectly safe) or Isofix (safer still).

There are also carrycots available that are designed for the car and which attach with the seatbelt. This only works if you can allow two car seats as the carrycot goes sideways, so has never been a consideration for me. Supposedly better as baby gets to be completely flat.

Next you need a buggy/pram/transportation system. A travel system is great as you can clip your car seat on and you might get a carrycot in order to have a pram-like contraption for keeping baby flat.

What you do not need is an old fashioned pram that costs over £1200, weighs 3 times what a buggy does and which is unwieldy and enormous. Nor do you need the biggest all terrain buggy that money can buy. A baby is tiny and you need to move this thing about, in and out of house and cars/buses and it is really unlikely your path will involve particularly difficult terrain. Even if it does, you can get nice sturdy wheeled suspensioned buggies that don't take over the entire street. Big is not best when it comes to buggies.

Baby needs somewhere to sleep. A cot or cotbed is ideal, you may also want a moses basket for the first few months. For naps, there is a school of thought that all sleeping should be done in the dark in a proper cot, but I personally found naps easier in a bouncer or similar once they were past the stage of sleeping most of the time. The ones we had vibrated and this was a marvel in getting baby to sleep.

Exercise sense when purchasing baby beds. Cribs are a waste of money, unless you are given one in which case they're quite nice, as they last such a short time. Cots don't have to cost a lot of money and big cots are nonsense, babies are tiny.

Bouncers don't last that long so don't go mad, remember baby will be out of it by 6 months and won't be interested in toys or similar. They probably like music and lights and what not, and vibrating is the napping future.

Cot bumpers etc are dangerous, I don't know why people have them. They look nice, yeah, but as soon as baby can grab things, they're a risk. Baby should have sheets and blankets tightly tucked into the bottom of the cot, or better still, sleeping bags which are genius. Nothing else. The best baby sleeping bags are Grobags, or Mamas and Papas.

A changing unit is nice, it gives a nice place to keep all the nappies and nappy kit, and you can lay the baby on the top with a changing mat. These too range from the basic to the ridiculous, I guess you go according to budget/space/taste. A changing unit isn't necessary however, you can equally use a changing mat on the bed/sofa.

While on changing mats, a fold up mat/bag that holds a couple of nappies and becomes a flat mat is a godsend when out and about. They cost about £10 and fold up really dinky.

Boots give away a free changing bag when you join the parenting club. It's perfectly good if you don't feel the need to be unique and you don't mind umpteen confusions of identical bags at whatever baby event you go to (baby clinic, baby massage, mother and toddlers etc).

You need a baby bath or newborn bath support, I understand the tummy tub is amazing. The twins had moulded supports which were ace, also useful for feeding, which went in the regular bath. The main attraction of that was bathing two at once. This baby will be getting a tummy tub. Hurrah!

What else do babies need?

Clothes? No. Clothes arrive from all directions. Always welcome, people are very kind, but plentiful. I have already been promised two complete newborn wardrobes.

Toys? No. Babies do not play or show any interest in playing until they are about one year old. Flashy light musical things calm and amuse but playing? Nope.

A highchair is essential from six months. A bumbo or similar is brilliant from as soon as baby can support their head. Bouncer things and baby walkers are hideous, dangerous and oh my god, no. when baby becomes mobile then stairgates, playpens and toddler rockers with harnesses are a godsend.

I'll not go there with bottles because we'll pretend I won't need them.

(6 bottles at least, steriliser - got - bottle brush, formula).

So far I need to buy a buggy. Everything else is being donated, lent or returned as appropriate by other mums. People are so kind.

Her moans

Supergrump alert!!!

Well, I did get good for them, bad for me, job news this morning but I have been most unreasonably grumpy. People talking loudly, things being in my way or wrong, all vastly overreacted to. Luckily only in my head and in a couple of snarls on Facebook, but still. Irrationality rules!!

My head is a bit full of politics today because it is the Scottish elections tomorrow. I shall endeavour to keep this baby related and may dust off the regular blog later.

With regard to the Mamas and Papas buggy I am to inherit, they got back to me about a car seat. The buggy came with a Primo Viaggio, their "amazing" car seat. However, it needed adaptors and they don't sell then any more. So that's that, tough titties.

I have had it with Mamas and Papas and shall be buying nothing from them for this baby.

Issue one: the fact that I have twice been into their store to look at buggies and have twice been utterly ignored, even when the shop was deserted and I was wheeling buggies about.

Issue two: I was mortified when trying to spend my £5 "welcome to Mamas and Papas!!" gift token that was valid for one month, within one month of receipt. I was declined, it had expired puzzlingly. Turned out it was issued a week before I discovered I was pregnant, which would be a fortnight before I ordered any catalogues. Grrr.

Issue three: the tone of the email I received today, stating that too bad, they don't do what I asked (I paraphrase, but only a little).

Issue four: they're incredibly snooty anyway. I am good enough for their shop.

Had they been helpful and had what I needed (adaptors for a system that was previously their standard) I would have purchased adaptors, a car seat, a car seat base and quite likely other things as well. No, they need me to buy a new buggy as well. Perish the thought of reusing.

Although most mothers seem to go through umpteen buggies/prams/strollers for each child, I don't understand that. Oh to be rich and have copious space.

Many things

More buggy hunting. Today I was offered a used mamas and papas all terrain buggy complete with footmuff etc, which is ace (and very kind) but rather massive. So marvellous for any trips to beaches and general walking, not so good for taking in the car. As this is offered gratis, that frees up funds for a lightweight buggy.

Enter the Quinny Senzz. I think that's how you spell it? Solves the ooh-the-Quinny-Zapp-is-ace-and-small-but-a-bit-difficult-yet-the-Zapp-extra-folds-separate-from-the-seat issue by being almost as compact but folding intact. And it has a decent shopping basket. And it comes in burgundy, which is important (but as it has a pink lining does somewhat depend on the baby being female).

So that's today's decision. Plenty time to change my mind again; I have a currently private wish list that I update almost daily with the latest buggy choice.

Today's pregnancy related excitement was to find baby located up beside my belly button. Baby is a very wrigglesome baby indeed, she (unspecific means female - or something) stays in one position for no more than 30 seconds. That may be due to the hard machine prodding it of course. That didn't bother R though, he was chilled and relaxed through each scan. O was a very very wriggly foetus!

I seriously hope baby allows a peek at what gender s/he is, I simply can't wait until the birth. They nearly didn't find out with O at the 20 week scan as he wouldn't stay still. Urg.

Symptom of the moment: backache. I cannot lie on my back, it is veh veh painful. I know this is normal much later on in pregnancy but I'm not sure why now. Tummy lying is out, it just all feels a bit squashed, and lying on my right makes me feel queasy. Happy days. Or nights to be precise, sleep is tricky. I tried a pillow between the legs but that did seem to aggravate the problem last night.

It's ok until I try to lie down. Which makes sleeping easier. Usually.

Assuming it works out with my employer, I plan to take maternity leave as soon as I am entitled to at 29 weeks. I seriously don't think I can handle working, being pregnant and juggling childcare through the summer holidays. Admittedly this creates a problem for next summer if/when I go back, but I will need to have "proper" childcare in place, and I won't be pregnant then.

So, if all tallies with leave and whatnot, I have two months left to work.

That's still ages, even coming off early. And I'll have the joyous third trimester with two 5 year olds at home all day...

On second thoughts I may work through the holidays and sign the boys up for every playscheme going. Maternity leave can start when they go back. Which is the way to sanity??

Unmellow yellow

Low point: a hint of yellow on the toilet paper. Yikes!!!!!!!!
Yellow. Not red, green, brown, smelly or bad. Just a bit yellow. Aka normal.

But still. Not clear. Huge panic plus tears, but mercifully no actual contact with medics as even Dr Google couldn't insinuate doom and gloom from a touch of yellow in absence of any other symptoms.

Although I'm a bit sore today. Just achy. If worse tomorrow I may venture in the direction of a midwife. Only if worse and in the presence of something more than a bit yellowish.

I went into Mamas and Papas today as the buggy du jour in my head is their Zoom. Its kind of massive, but buggies seem to be. Except the Quinny Zapp Plus. Which has been rejected by moi on account of the seat needing to be removed to fold the bugger.

Anyways, Zoom looks proper good and is currently a bargainous price. A lady with a tiny baby had a Sola, which is exactly the same, and I asked her if she was pleased with it. She said she was very pleased, and I realised afterwards that I did not even look at her baby. Cardinal sin!!

I got no attention from the staff in a near deserted shop, so I need to up my yummy mummy state before returning. Huh.

Breasts have gone totally mad. I think my problems breastfeeding the twins may have been down to lack of preparation by the boobs themselves. They are certainly preparing a LOT more this time. Ouchie.

Must mean a girl???

Twin buggy?

Well. 3 sleeps, or lack thereof.

I have spent considerable time today looking at double buggies.

And they are way cooler than when we were buying last time. Current fave is the Baby Jogger City Select with second seat. It's a tad pricey though.

More convinced on the twins thing - the newly popped uterus is rather substantial.

Symtomwise I've felt pretty ghastly today; on several occasions (including right now) I've been sure I'm going to actually throw up. That's not good, other than being v positive for health of any babies.

I don't want more twins.
Then again, I quite do as the early tricky stage is so quick and it'd be lovely to have twins to be twinny with each other and the existing twins could have a baby each to cuddle. Which would be well cute. I think I'll be a bit disappointed either way.

I know. Mad as a mad thing.

As long as any babies are healthy that's all that really matters. Within reason. Triplets would be bad.

Gaviscon and or a wee vomit required. Then I shall attempt to have sleep one of three.