Week 23 update

I've kind of gone off on a factual sharing thing of late. I'm not sure why, I guess I'm harbouring a desire to write a pregnancy book.  Harbouring? Yeah, right. It has a name and a contents page.

Anyway.

Tomorrow I shall be 23 weeks pregnant and onto week 24. According to my adjusted dates the following timeline applies:

Weeks till due date
Weeks till intended delivery: 15
Weeks since discovery of pregnancy: 18
Weeks since first scan: 11
Weeks since anomaly scan: 2
Weeks till third trimester: 4
Weeks till I finish: 5 (!!!!!!!!!!!)
Weeks till maternity leave starts as opposed to regular leave: 7
Weeks till return to work: 56

We also have to add in a couple of less inspiring target dates - there are 4 weeks until the summer holidays, and worse, there are 10 weeks until they go back to school and need waddled up and down each day. There are also 10 weeks left until I hand in the so far unwritten dissertation. Oh yikes.




And onto symptoms. There aren't that many at the moment.


Fatigue. 
This is not the all consuming must-sleep-now fatigue of the first trimester, it is more a feeling of being worn out. Yesterday I walked the children to school and then onto work, walked home from work and lay down for two hours. I then ate some lunch and walked back to the school, home again and then did some homely things, dishwasher, washing machine, dinner for everyone. And then I was done in. Absolutely.


Digestive icks
Nausea has mostly gone. Sense of smell is still hyper and there's a queasiness on encountering a smelly person - smoker, overperfumed person or unwashed person, consumer of too spicy food - or icky smells. Not nausea though, that has been replaced by indigestion. Stomach capacity is much reduced and I get full easily. Hunger is still immense and I'm still off a lot of foods and into hugely fattening sweet things. Bloatedness has gone and the whole system is sluggish rather than stopped.


Physical signs 
The huge belly that wriggles and changes shape on occasion
The breasts that don't look like breasts any more but that thankfully are less sensitive.
Other than this, the rest of me hasn't expanded. I'm much the same shape as before, ankles and what not remain their usual size, bum hasn't taken over any countries.

of course, not forgetting...

Pain

For me, the PGP is the worst. At best it is niggly, at worst it is seriously agony. Walking is difficult bending over is impossible. I have pain in my lower back and where my pelvis meets at the front. The front pain was almost too much walking to work this morning, it seems to be getting worse.  Not being able to take painkillers is hard.

Headaches are common

Abdomen generally aches

Emotional signs
Supergrumpiness. 
Total intolerance
Short temper
Tendency to burst into tears

Fears
Premature delivery
Stillbirth
Own death during childbirth
Childbirth complications

And that, I think pretty much sums up me at nearly 24 weeks.

One week, two days...

I can't wait! I can't wait! The scan is next Friday and I am so excited. Although this week is proving verrrrrrrry long and I suspect next week will be worse.

9 sleeps, including the one I'm about to have.

This Friday the midwife is coming to visit. I have seen her already (back in the first week of knowing) and this is my proper booking visit. Although as it's in my home, I'm guessing I won't be weighed or have all my bodily fluids checked for deficiencies.

Approaching 11 weeks and this is how it is healthwise:

Cold has gone, but a vile cough remains. Turns out non drowsy cough medicines of the linctus variety are ok for pregnant ladies and are remarkably effective in a well-I've-stopped-for-now manner. They're not Original Benylin but they do allow cessation of coughing long enough to breathe.

Symptoms of growing a baby at 10 weeks + 5: unbelievabubbly tired, despite sleeping better at night. Sickness is more in waves than a progressive worsening. My boobies are now less sensitive and although huge, don't ache so much. Stomach is a vast expanse of bulgingness that makes me look much pregnanter than I am, and which I don't really understand. I don't think I can feel my uterus under the udder, but I'm not sure. The udder is much pushed forward by something. Bowels? Triplets?

The other October 2011 ladies on iVillage say they can feel a hard lump, I don't think I can. Or maybe I can, I can't tell. You're not meant to be able to feel it above the pelvis till 12 weeks, so that's a good indication it's NOT twins. Unless it's quite high and I can't tell. Who knows?

For two/three days I had a very sore back, possibly caused by (minimal) housework on Sunday. Muchos pain of the tailbone, which made walking tricky, sitting painful and bending a thing of the past. It's still a wee bit twingy but mostly ok, being able to have a bath is most wondrous in times of backache. The Hypochondriac in Me (aka HIM) diagnosed an incarcerated uterus, or at the very least a tilted (retroverted) uterus, which would push against the spine instead of rising up out of the pelvis.

Cure: lie on front. Have done. Got better. Still can't feel uterus: HIM concludes that the foetus must have stopped growing.

Oh shut up!! Yesterday's test (just checking) said 3+ weeks very quickly so my levels are still very high.

And where was I? Ah yes. Backache.

It is a little strange to have backache; having been dosed up on some type of morphine based painkillers for over 18 months, other aches and pains were masked and unnoticed. Now - I have twinges and niggles. Boo.

I have done very few school runs this last week. Hubby can be ace.

Current "craving": bacon. Yummy.

Rough rough rough

I think I am getting used to feeling rough, for it doesn't seem so noticeable any more but if I think about it I actually feel quite terrible. Today I have indigestion to add to my joys. My chest has ceased to be quite so sensitive and intent to expand, so that's something. It's still ginormous and fragile, but ok.

The tiredness is ridiculous, and I continue to find it very difficult to sleep at night. Part of it is discomfort, another part is the perpetual hunger/nausea thing, but the main part is simply not falling asleep. Napping or not by day has little bearing on whether I sleep, so I have concluded I may as well nap when I can as that is as least some sleep.

I appear to be accumulating all the fluid I shall be requiring for the duration of the pregnancy all at once. I am taking in gallons of fluids - milk, water, more milk, juice - and not that much comes back out. My lips are all chapped which is a sure sign of dehydration. I have this firm little bump already, which doesn't indicate twins as it's too high, but it does make me look considerably advanced to what I actually am.  Although I have a sinking suspicion it was this non bump that made me suspect twins last time.  Oh god...

3 weeks and 2 days until scan day. I cannot wait, it's such a very long time. I wish they did the dating scan at 8 weeks, I really do. I kind of understand why they wait till 12 weeks as it must be much harder to accept a baby has gone if you've seen it on ultrasound and until the 12 weeks have passed there is a higher chance of loss. Then again, the potentially at risk ones are the ones that get scanned early. No matter what, my scan is 3 weeks on Friday and then I may relax a bit.

Number one fear: "sorry, there's nothing there/no heartbeat"
Number two fear: "there's two babies in there"

The latter is obviously far preferable to the former and would be delightful in actuality, but one single baby would be an awful lot easier. Especially a girl. I may be cooking two boys though, and this time we are old hands at it so it'd be easier regardless.

One girl. One girl. Please. I know it can't change now, but...
The God of traffic lights says it's a girl, I am craving sweet things mostly and I believe the breasts of enormity are due to excess oestrogen, ie a girl. No scientific basis for that last one, I made that one up optimistically.

We'll see. There's nothing I can do except wait and fret.

8 weeks

Baby is now a foetus! Woo! No more embryo, which technically means we're past a lot of the dodgy might-not-make-it stages. Having gestated for 6 weeks, plus the two weeks of not being pregnant yet that they insist on adding, we have completed 8 weeks and so are in week 9. Which some things advance you to being 9 weeks pregnant and it's confusing me. I'm not entirely sure if the due date is after 40 weeks or in week 40.

Anyways, after the scan on 25 March that will be 12 weeks, into week 13 and trimester 2. I think. And I will know if there's an actual baby and if it has any siblings in there.

Sickness is less intense than it was, feeling queasy rather than about to be sick. Rather off the idea of food though, I don't really fancy anything and don't really enjoy much. Way too keen on chocolate and puddings though.

Boobies appear to have reached their maximum size and are less painful although still very heavy and sensitive.

Of course this brings paranoia of hormone levels dropping and all being over, but the fatigue is there in full force. To be honest, having had two chemical pregnancies, when you stop being pregnant, you don't feel LESS pregnant, you don't feel pregnant at all. You wake up just feeling normal.

And she's an embryo now, I would have major indications of any loss. I think. Except if it's a molar pregnancy, or a missed miscarriage. Oh shut up brain.

I say she: that is optimism, as opposed to they or he. He would be ok, obviously, but I need some female back up in this household.

Insomnia is wearing off, difficulty in sleeping directly proportional to amount of daytime kipping.

Humour?

The designers of the whole reproduction thing, as well as missing some major design flaws, must have had a right laugh.

What fun: to be insomniac when more tired than ever before. Tired? Yes! Sleepy? No!!! And if sleep does arrive, usually around about breakfast time, it is accompanied by bonkers and disturbing dreams.

Jolly japes: constant nausea; the whole concept, smell, effort and existence of food is repulsive. Yet the only way to overcome the nausea is to consume the vile food. In vast quantities because this is the only type of nausea that is accompanied by a insatiable hunger.

Extra laughs: the unquenchable thirst and a bladder capacity of 15ml.

Luckily the hormones make one chilled out and not tetchy or it might annoy rather...

This is not morning!

Morning: a time for feeling a little nauseous. Breakfast must be consumed early or nausea strengthens. Nausea remains merely horrid unless attempting some strenuous exercise such as standing up. The rest of the day passes in a tired fug of feeling queasy, very tired and incredibly intolerant of all smells, sounds and people. Aside from 3-4pm, which is zombie hour, it's bearable. Just.

Evening: 8pm strikes. The time when children are asleep and normality could be had. The endless fatigue of day could be relieved by a big sleep.

Ha! says the hormones. It's time for proper morning sickness! So the nausea escalates to truly debilitating levels. The sickness never comes, thankfully, but it feels like it's about to. Constantly. Movement is nigh impossible. Sleep would seem the best move, but no. Lying down is worse. Happiness!! Much sitting down required. Also at 8pm precisely each evening, the breasts increase another size and ache in a burny sort of manner. They are unaware that they are not needed for a little over seven months.

This all remains till sleep, which is elusive. Not at night!!! It's "morning". Sometime, as dawn approaches, sleep arrives and settles nicely into deep sleep just as the alarm goes off.

And so begins another day...

Seven weeks now!

The smell of fatigue

An uneventful day so far. I decided I was not fit for work (pretty much decided before I left work yesterday) so went straight back to bed when I got back from taking the boys to school. And sleep...

Why is sleeping so much easier when it's daytime? We're designed to sleep at night, but that's hard. My brain has this little switch that activates when it understands that bedtime has occurred. This makes it go into "dooooo stuffff. Wakey wakey, dontcha need to visit the bathroom? Ooh remember those things you wondered about? Now would be a great time to look them up!" mode.

But I defeated it today. Ha. I went through the gargantuan effort of making and eating lunch (can still eat, this is good) which has been the sole achievement of today. Logic: may resemble human being later and be useful then.

Reading stuff mostly leads to paranoia. Everything can be bad /ominous if you read enough. Do not read stuff! Or if you must, read What to Expect When You're Expecting, because it is nice and reassuring.

I'm adding to this, it is now bedtime and I feel compelled to add for future reference that the nausea is never far away. It hides when I do no exertion whatsoever and am exposed to no smells of any strong type at all.

Surprisingly, the smells that are getting me most are perfumes. For no good reason I put on some Poison the other day and nearly fainted from the smell, I had to wash my neck. I do normally like Poison (not as much as when I was 12 but it was a kind gift still). The bathroom aisle in Asda had me near enough hurling this evening. Hubby suggested he might make kedgeree for the boys, saying as how I don't eat fish, and seemed surprised to be informed his wife would have to be out of the house for a week or so afterwards. Obvious smells have the nausea at peak, the ones a hangover can't deal with - fish, cooking smells generally and any conventionally rank smells. I already mentioned cigarette smoke. Ugh, and I can say that as a non smoker of nearly 2 weeks now.

I must have a wee rant about smoking sometime.

I am however going wild for Body Shop White Musk, which I have never really noticed before, and I've definitely had some and put it down to generically pleasant. Now it is ambrosia for the nose, and I don't mean it smells like rice pudding.

I don't think I'm going to work tomorrow, but I fear I may have to reveal the source of my malaise upon my return. I have the doctors who I may freak out with my list of worries. Ho hum.

I must point out: I was quite useful later. I walked up to school, reading that a walk and some fresh air is good for nausea. Is it ***k, but I survived (just). The boys and I did a fair amount of clearing - they did toys and I did trash - so we rewarded ourselves with easter eggs, which the boys didn't get on account of being very naughty while fetching them. And I changed the bed, by which I mean I stripped the bed, dug out clean covers then asked hubby to finish. Which he did - a DEFINITE perk of pregnancy. He did the dishwasher too.

Tomorrow, when I'm in a good(er) mood I may discuss intolerance.

Worry, worry, fret, fret.

Woke up this morning feeling ok.

Panic!! Panic!!!

Except for the unbelievable tiredness that is. And the ridiculously sensitive response to odours. And the bloated tummy.

I don't feel particularly nauseous today. That's all. And everything's a bit SORE. It's normal sort of sore, not worrying or severe type of sore, but everything is worrying.

I do not need to do another test to make sure my levels are still high. Mostly because I did one yesterday. Well!! Damned Clearblue give an element of reassurance. I've *only* done about 11 tests, 10 of which have been to check I am still pregnant, the first one did answer the question satisfactorily. I did the same with the twins. Only 8 for them as you didn't get conception indicators in those days. It's a worrying time.

I have an emergency one left for next week, so I can have one final neurotic episode and then accept that there will be blood and stuff in the event of bad things happening.

Incidentally, yesterday said pregnant and 3+ weeks almost instantly. That's good. Although that does raise the worry of high levels again...

Oh shut up, inner pessimist.

I need to sleep. Lots and lots and lots and lots. And then sleep a bit more.