Well, I survived day one of single parenthood. Didn't like it much, I'll be glad when hubby gets home. I'm a bit unnerved by the riots in London, I hope that doesn't affect him or his journey home on Thursday.
Who's selfish?
My mum came to see me today, on her own which was nice. Much as I adore my still quite new stepfather, I haven't had my mum to myself in a very long time. She was delighted by feeling baby kick an
d by being able to hear her heartbeat. I find it all pretty amazing and I guess it must be mind boggling to have your offspring producing their own offspring. I'm quite traumatised by the whole concept of the children being teenagers and young adults, what with all the dangers they can put themselves in. To consider my little girl, who I am still to meet, being a mother, is quite bonkers. But I was Mum's baby girl once, and here I am, a geriatric mother of three (nearly).
Studies suspended, new dissertation submission date to be April 2012 I think. Note to self: do the bloody thing this time. Although I have taken the decision based on my inability to write well just now or remember things (baby brain), not because it wouldn't have been done.
I miss being clever. I'm sure I used to be.
Showing posts with label dissertation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dissertation. Show all posts
Monday, 8 August 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
Free!
My boys are away for part 2 of their summer break to their grandparents, also known as giving me peace to get on with my dissertation (which involves staying up till the wee hours and sleeping till lunchtime mostly, I am 400% more creative after midnight for no good reason, always have been). It feels a bit like I'm offloading them again, but it was always planned that they would go again, they will only have been away for 4 nights all summer, and they were to go again when the National Museum of Scotland reopened which was just last week.
So I am free, if feeling a little bereft. They just headed off this morning so it's a bit like them being at school at the moment, 3pm with no school run will be joyous, then everything will feel odd.
The second part of free is that I managed to procure Sainsburys Mum and Baby bundle. It's ace, a very attractive changing mat with pockets (godsend if you don't want to lug a whole changing bag, and it conveniently stores nappies, wipes and sacks), as well as some samples of things. I like.
And now, I must get on with my dissertation...
So I am free, if feeling a little bereft. They just headed off this morning so it's a bit like them being at school at the moment, 3pm with no school run will be joyous, then everything will feel odd.
The second part of free is that I managed to procure Sainsburys Mum and Baby bundle. It's ace, a very attractive changing mat with pockets (godsend if you don't want to lug a whole changing bag, and it conveniently stores nappies, wipes and sacks), as well as some samples of things. I like.
And now, I must get on with my dissertation...
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Bump n grind
I've been looking at pics of me when I was pregnant with the twins. The bump was about the same sticking out-ness as my current bump but was considerably wider. This isn't surprising as the babies lay side by side for the entire second half of the pregnancy. I knew this due to the lovely 4 weekly scans which I would love to have this time. My time is up for having a 3D scan as I would have had to have had it this weekend.
This baby is apparently in the textbook cephalic position (head down, bum up) but I have my doubts as previously mentioned. Baby is up and down anyway as my bump is definitely raised in the middle. Although she does seem to be slightly over to my left side, even though her heartbeat is nearly always on the right. She must have her head down right and her bum off to the left. I have distinctly bruised ribs, her kicks are vicious sometimes and right now she seems to have a foot or similar locked underneath my ribcage. Ouchie!
O and I had a happy time shining his torch at the bump this evening and watching baby squirm. I trust this isn't unpleasant for her as it is presumably a red glow rather than a bright light, and it was recommended by a pregnancy guide.
Dissertation progresses! 1500 words added tonight, all heading done and time allocation completed. I know what to write and have a time plan to write it in. Due date is 15th, which really means 12th as we're away that day, and I need to get it bound. So next Wed, the 10th, is my deadline and I hope to be finished writing by this Wed. Fingers crossed it isn't too sore to sit!
This baby is apparently in the textbook cephalic position (head down, bum up) but I have my doubts as previously mentioned. Baby is up and down anyway as my bump is definitely raised in the middle. Although she does seem to be slightly over to my left side, even though her heartbeat is nearly always on the right. She must have her head down right and her bum off to the left. I have distinctly bruised ribs, her kicks are vicious sometimes and right now she seems to have a foot or similar locked underneath my ribcage. Ouchie!
O and I had a happy time shining his torch at the bump this evening and watching baby squirm. I trust this isn't unpleasant for her as it is presumably a red glow rather than a bright light, and it was recommended by a pregnancy guide.
Dissertation progresses! 1500 words added tonight, all heading done and time allocation completed. I know what to write and have a time plan to write it in. Due date is 15th, which really means 12th as we're away that day, and I need to get it bound. So next Wed, the 10th, is my deadline and I hope to be finished writing by this Wed. Fingers crossed it isn't too sore to sit!
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Feel the burn
Oh, the heartburn has taken off, we now have daytime heartburn. Today I have eaten:
Alpen for breakfast
Mushroom soup and a roll for lunch (coke to drink)
A kit kat mid afternoon
A cupcake at teatime
Mushroom soup for tea.
What gave me heartburn from that lot? The kit kat, and the second lot of soup. Go figure. I had a chocolate mousse following the indigestible soup, and that fixed it for a bit. Then I had a bath and the lying down-ness of that kicked off full on heartburn and the crazy cough. That is not present by day, but does seem to be relieved by my asthma inhaler so I can presume that my asthma is triggered by squashed lungs. Which makes sense really.
A glass of water seems to aid both ailments temporarily, and gaviscon gives short term relief to the burn.
My omnipresent cushion is proving a godsend. Assuming I drive to everywhere I go and lay a cushion everywhere I sit, I can deal with the pelvic pain. Either that or it's eased off a bit, but I'm not overly keen to test that out. I will find out in three weeks when the boys go back to school and I have to do the pesky school run. Hubby is confident he can do the morning runs (I will have to do the first day however) so I just have to get them at home time for 6 weeks (max). I will take over both again once baby is out and I can walk again as I will woefully need to get some level of fitness back. My calves are shrinking daily! Baby and I shall wander up and down to school and get Mummy a semblance of fitness.
One of the ladies on my Mums Due iVillage board who was a week or so ahead of me had her baby today.
!!!!!!!!!
She has had problems and seemed to be expecting this (I am her friend on Facebook but I'm not sure if she realises), as well as having had a least one baby at 32 weeks previously. Her comment today was that her baby girl needed a bit of help breathing. Fingers crossed all remains well there.
(and selfishly, please don't let my baby spontaneously appear any time sooner than mid sept, or for my health to require her removal prior to that).
Dissertation is not happening. I have a fortnight left to do it, and get it in. 10,000 in 10 days say: that's 1000 a day WITHOUT FAIL. I'll go for 2000 a day (ha!) and reassess my progress on Monday. Then perhaps admit it's not going to be done and find out what happens if it's not.
I want it out of the way so I can start worrying about other things, like the pigsty we live in.
A later update...
Sleep not happening at 1.30am. Reasons:
- Heartburn
- Excruciating pelvic pain on moving.
- The only position which relieves heartburn in any way results in sore pelvis and wriggles from baby who doesn't seem to like that.
Sigh.
Alpen for breakfast
Mushroom soup and a roll for lunch (coke to drink)
A kit kat mid afternoon
A cupcake at teatime
Mushroom soup for tea.
What gave me heartburn from that lot? The kit kat, and the second lot of soup. Go figure. I had a chocolate mousse following the indigestible soup, and that fixed it for a bit. Then I had a bath and the lying down-ness of that kicked off full on heartburn and the crazy cough. That is not present by day, but does seem to be relieved by my asthma inhaler so I can presume that my asthma is triggered by squashed lungs. Which makes sense really.
A glass of water seems to aid both ailments temporarily, and gaviscon gives short term relief to the burn.
My omnipresent cushion is proving a godsend. Assuming I drive to everywhere I go and lay a cushion everywhere I sit, I can deal with the pelvic pain. Either that or it's eased off a bit, but I'm not overly keen to test that out. I will find out in three weeks when the boys go back to school and I have to do the pesky school run. Hubby is confident he can do the morning runs (I will have to do the first day however) so I just have to get them at home time for 6 weeks (max). I will take over both again once baby is out and I can walk again as I will woefully need to get some level of fitness back. My calves are shrinking daily! Baby and I shall wander up and down to school and get Mummy a semblance of fitness.
One of the ladies on my Mums Due iVillage board who was a week or so ahead of me had her baby today.
!!!!!!!!!
She has had problems and seemed to be expecting this (I am her friend on Facebook but I'm not sure if she realises), as well as having had a least one baby at 32 weeks previously. Her comment today was that her baby girl needed a bit of help breathing. Fingers crossed all remains well there.
(and selfishly, please don't let my baby spontaneously appear any time sooner than mid sept, or for my health to require her removal prior to that).
Dissertation is not happening. I have a fortnight left to do it, and get it in. 10,000 in 10 days say: that's 1000 a day WITHOUT FAIL. I'll go for 2000 a day (ha!) and reassess my progress on Monday. Then perhaps admit it's not going to be done and find out what happens if it's not.
I want it out of the way so I can start worrying about other things, like the pigsty we live in.
A later update...
Sleep not happening at 1.30am. Reasons:
- Heartburn
- Excruciating pelvic pain on moving.
- The only position which relieves heartburn in any way results in sore pelvis and wriggles from baby who doesn't seem to like that.
Sigh.
Friday, 15 July 2011
The lost one
I definitely typed a blog earlier. Where is it? Did I email it to someone random? Is it gone? Did I imagine it? Worrying.
We shall assume I typed it and didn't save it. Otherwise *we* shall go mad.
Today's swimming was less good: less relieving and more painful after. Boo. Obviously not a daily activity, maybe a twice weekly one instead. Next week the boys have swimming lessons each morning so we probably won't be doing any additional swimming.
Today's midwife check was fine, blood pressure (now to be checked fortnightly) is still normal. I had bloods taken to check for anaemia, glucose levels and antibodies. Otherwise all good: urine is clear, no swelling, nothing unusual other than the pelvic restrictions and bump is measuring a little bigger than it should but within normal limits. A little over a week's measurement ahead, which isn't as much as before and can probably be attributed to my lack of eating due to toothache. Previous big bump would then be down to excess eating. Shockeronie.
The midwife felt my bump and was assured that she felt a bum at the top. She felt down low and said that was a head also. This is good news; even with a caesarean head down is best as it is always good to deliver the head first. But having lain in a room prior to my twins' birth with several midwives and an obstetrician unable to decide if they could feel a head or a bottom (it was a bottom despite several plumping for head), I take all this with a pinch of salt. Also, really? Nothing bottom like to my touch, although admittedly my midwifery training is nil. I presume her to be head down when the majority of the kicks are upwards as I'm assuming the vicious kicks are from the legs and the gentler ones are punchy hands. I can discern feet when they push against my bump, everything else is a bit of a mystery.
Movement is peaking again. Constant jiggling from teatime till sleeptime. The latter being less like 4am and more like 1am which is good, there is hope for normality.
Dissertation due one month today. I must get on. I was doing well last week, this week the toothache has knocked me for six. 4 weeks, 2500 words a week. No bother...
We shall assume I typed it and didn't save it. Otherwise *we* shall go mad.
Today's swimming was less good: less relieving and more painful after. Boo. Obviously not a daily activity, maybe a twice weekly one instead. Next week the boys have swimming lessons each morning so we probably won't be doing any additional swimming.
Today's midwife check was fine, blood pressure (now to be checked fortnightly) is still normal. I had bloods taken to check for anaemia, glucose levels and antibodies. Otherwise all good: urine is clear, no swelling, nothing unusual other than the pelvic restrictions and bump is measuring a little bigger than it should but within normal limits. A little over a week's measurement ahead, which isn't as much as before and can probably be attributed to my lack of eating due to toothache. Previous big bump would then be down to excess eating. Shockeronie.
The midwife felt my bump and was assured that she felt a bum at the top. She felt down low and said that was a head also. This is good news; even with a caesarean head down is best as it is always good to deliver the head first. But having lain in a room prior to my twins' birth with several midwives and an obstetrician unable to decide if they could feel a head or a bottom (it was a bottom despite several plumping for head), I take all this with a pinch of salt. Also, really? Nothing bottom like to my touch, although admittedly my midwifery training is nil. I presume her to be head down when the majority of the kicks are upwards as I'm assuming the vicious kicks are from the legs and the gentler ones are punchy hands. I can discern feet when they push against my bump, everything else is a bit of a mystery.
Movement is peaking again. Constant jiggling from teatime till sleeptime. The latter being less like 4am and more like 1am which is good, there is hope for normality.
Dissertation due one month today. I must get on. I was doing well last week, this week the toothache has knocked me for six. 4 weeks, 2500 words a week. No bother...
Monday, 4 July 2011
Procrastination
Oops.
I have an MSc Dissertation due in on August 15th.
This is me working on it.
The boys are off to their grandparents for a couple of days, leaving me some peace and quiet to get on with writing. And so I can produce words about the subject - safety of cycling - to the order of none. I can't get my baby addled brain around it. I thought once I got into it, the words would come. But no. Nothing.
Words written: 1000 (exactly). All pasted from a previous version. Needs padded, cannot pad.
Update on pregnancy, which seems to have become Pelvis Watch:
Having gone out and about both weekend days, I am rather broken. Saturday's expedition to the beach was moronic, I cannot walk on sand. So yesterday's trip to the meadows, involving a short flat walk only, should have been ok. Whether due to the soreness from the beach, or just general can't-walk-any-more-even-with-crutches, I don't know, but I could barely make it to the car. In fact, I didn't, I had to stop and send hubby for the car to collect me.
Today I drove the boys to Edinburgh, about a 30 mile round trip, to drop them off. Seriously sore again, it now seems to hurt to drive. Tomorrow I have a full day of no children and no need to leave the house, so I will take it very easy and rest up the pelvis, and see if I can undo the damage from the weekend. Very concerned that, with the exception of the sand, the walking of the last two days has not exceeded what I will have to do in order to do the school run after the holidays.
People are being very kind, I am in full receipt of lots of sympathy and kind offers. I feel humbled and very ungrateful for previous moanage.
Baby is doing fine, I believe. She is very active anyway, kicking away enthusiastically, but not frantically. Current dilemmas consist of a middle name as hubby doesn't like "May", and my futile attempts to talk him into a 3D scan. Which costs £115 or so and isn't really necessary in the slightest. My main concern is to double check the gender, which is stupid. While I know ultrasound gender predictions can be wrong, nobody I have known has ever been told incorrectly, and in our case I could see for myself a lack of dangly bits and the presence of the tell tale three lines. The sonographer was pretty confident as well, even though she - as presumably is the custom - used the word "probably". Frequent movements, steady growth and the lack of any ominous symptoms leave me unconcerned as to the need to check on the baby (any new developments would manifest in some way that would not need a 3D scan to spot, or which a 3D scan would not spot). So it would be a double check gender spot and a slightly freaky image of the baby that's going to be here in 12 weeks. For over £100. Hmmmm.
Activate word production related to cycling not babies, starting NOW...
I have an MSc Dissertation due in on August 15th.
This is me working on it.
The boys are off to their grandparents for a couple of days, leaving me some peace and quiet to get on with writing. And so I can produce words about the subject - safety of cycling - to the order of none. I can't get my baby addled brain around it. I thought once I got into it, the words would come. But no. Nothing.
Words written: 1000 (exactly). All pasted from a previous version. Needs padded, cannot pad.
Update on pregnancy, which seems to have become Pelvis Watch:
Having gone out and about both weekend days, I am rather broken. Saturday's expedition to the beach was moronic, I cannot walk on sand. So yesterday's trip to the meadows, involving a short flat walk only, should have been ok. Whether due to the soreness from the beach, or just general can't-walk-any-more-even-with-crutches, I don't know, but I could barely make it to the car. In fact, I didn't, I had to stop and send hubby for the car to collect me.
Today I drove the boys to Edinburgh, about a 30 mile round trip, to drop them off. Seriously sore again, it now seems to hurt to drive. Tomorrow I have a full day of no children and no need to leave the house, so I will take it very easy and rest up the pelvis, and see if I can undo the damage from the weekend. Very concerned that, with the exception of the sand, the walking of the last two days has not exceeded what I will have to do in order to do the school run after the holidays.
People are being very kind, I am in full receipt of lots of sympathy and kind offers. I feel humbled and very ungrateful for previous moanage.
Baby is doing fine, I believe. She is very active anyway, kicking away enthusiastically, but not frantically. Current dilemmas consist of a middle name as hubby doesn't like "May", and my futile attempts to talk him into a 3D scan. Which costs £115 or so and isn't really necessary in the slightest. My main concern is to double check the gender, which is stupid. While I know ultrasound gender predictions can be wrong, nobody I have known has ever been told incorrectly, and in our case I could see for myself a lack of dangly bits and the presence of the tell tale three lines. The sonographer was pretty confident as well, even though she - as presumably is the custom - used the word "probably". Frequent movements, steady growth and the lack of any ominous symptoms leave me unconcerned as to the need to check on the baby (any new developments would manifest in some way that would not need a 3D scan to spot, or which a 3D scan would not spot). So it would be a double check gender spot and a slightly freaky image of the baby that's going to be here in 12 weeks. For over £100. Hmmmm.
Activate word production related to cycling not babies, starting NOW...
Thursday, 31 March 2011
A long and endless wait
Oh, this is the tedious bit.
I don't feel better, I feel super tired super grumpy, and while I feel nauseous less often, I feel much more so when I do, sometimes actually spewing.
So that's a lie. Pfft to the second semester wellness. I had to take yesterday off and spend it in bed just to function. Yippee.
I continue to have a bloated stomach of slowed down bowels and doughnuts/toast/sweets (only put on 4lb??) so it's a bit hard to tell if I'm showing for real. I sure look pregnant, but it's not real. Even if it's mighty weird - periodically my whole abdomen goes really tight. I know you can experience Braxton Hicks from early on but I would have expected that to be restricted to the uterus, which is currently lost in there somewhere.
I may look up what Braxton Hicks actually are. I don't remember that from before, but I was so obviously pregnant and very very miserable I possibly didn't notice. And that was my halcyonic first pregnancy in an unbattered uterus.
I have a permanent sour taste in my mouth. It's not nice.
The wait bit alluded to: it's 7 weeks today before anything happens. That's two weeks less than it's been since I found out I was pregnant. Which was aeons ago. That's when the anomaly scan is and until then I see noone unless hypochondria or something real and bad happens. Wah. And between now and then I have to shape my dissertation into something for a 15 minute presentation. Which is my idea of HELL and as I shall be over 19 weeks by then (it's the same week as the scan) I will be looking distinctly fecund.
I hope to feel lovely reassuring movement soon. I feel little bubbles of movement but they might well be non foetal. I want positive foetal kicking please.
I am not buying a Doppler. I'd go proper mad. Although I'm not sure listening for a heartbeat with my son's toy stethoscope qualifies me as sane.
I don't feel better, I feel super tired super grumpy, and while I feel nauseous less often, I feel much more so when I do, sometimes actually spewing.
So that's a lie. Pfft to the second semester wellness. I had to take yesterday off and spend it in bed just to function. Yippee.
I continue to have a bloated stomach of slowed down bowels and doughnuts/toast/sweets (only put on 4lb??) so it's a bit hard to tell if I'm showing for real. I sure look pregnant, but it's not real. Even if it's mighty weird - periodically my whole abdomen goes really tight. I know you can experience Braxton Hicks from early on but I would have expected that to be restricted to the uterus, which is currently lost in there somewhere.
I may look up what Braxton Hicks actually are. I don't remember that from before, but I was so obviously pregnant and very very miserable I possibly didn't notice. And that was my halcyonic first pregnancy in an unbattered uterus.
I have a permanent sour taste in my mouth. It's not nice.
The wait bit alluded to: it's 7 weeks today before anything happens. That's two weeks less than it's been since I found out I was pregnant. Which was aeons ago. That's when the anomaly scan is and until then I see noone unless hypochondria or something real and bad happens. Wah. And between now and then I have to shape my dissertation into something for a 15 minute presentation. Which is my idea of HELL and as I shall be over 19 weeks by then (it's the same week as the scan) I will be looking distinctly fecund.
I hope to feel lovely reassuring movement soon. I feel little bubbles of movement but they might well be non foetal. I want positive foetal kicking please.
I am not buying a Doppler. I'd go proper mad. Although I'm not sure listening for a heartbeat with my son's toy stethoscope qualifies me as sane.
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