Up and down.

I seem to have noticed a pattern. When my pelvis hurts a lot, my ribs don't. When my ribs hurt a lot, my pelvis is eased. The rib pain is actually more uncomfortable as it is accompanied by severe indigestion, and doesn't go away whatever I do. Although the pelvis pain is much worse, I have means to relieve that and if I don't have to walk anywhere, I'm ok.

Anyways, I assume baby is shifting higher and lower, or turning, or something, which is what affects the location of the discomfort. She is still about half the size she will be at term, so I guess I'll be mighty sore by then, possibly high and low simultaneously. Oh, the joys.

I may add that any relief of the pelvic pain vanishes upon leaving the house and doing any walking at all. Very sore again, and walking is still sore on an indigestion day even if sitting is easier.

I'm still big, as I was told today. $$>>€}^]€\!}+~!!! Why comment? What's the point of saying it again and again? Does it mean, oh you must be further on, or oh you are a fatto, or oh you must be having a massive baby???? I've been consistently the same amount big and it's really doing my head in whenever anyone says. I'm not abnormally big - like I was with the twins. I'm not fat anywhere else, you get a LOT of fat arses in the third trimester. So, comments are pointless. There is a range of ok, and I am within it. Today's was at the end of a discussion/monologue from me as to why I want a caesarean, ending with "you are big though" from chief big bump watcher, so I'm not sure if that was a reference to the unlikelihood of elephantine child fitting through my waif-like* pelvis or not.

*I wasn't skinny btw, I was about 2lb over the normal weight range. Not exactly vast, but not skinny. I stopped dieting when I was 7lb within the range, then put on 9lb over the next year and a bit.

On the caesarean thing, I am feeling a little narked at the insinuation that only childbirth is real pain. In an obtuse way I almost want to feel it so I can say, actual that is, or isn't, akin to needing two years of tramadol for a neck injury or the shooting pain of toothache. There's something awful about pain that's present day after day after day after day and labour is short lived, even a ridiculously long labour is a few days.

I fully sympathise with men, although they are wusses. My hubby had a kidney infection last year and was howling in pain, convinced he was dying. He whimpered to me, UTI veteran, "is this what you have?" to which the answer is yes, frequently. I still maintain an abscess in my tooth was the sorest thing I have ever experienced, more than the neck or the pelvis or any kidney infection. I'd like to see the "childbirth" brigade talk to an injured soldier. Huh.

Thats me all ranted out.

32 weeks tomorrow, week 33 awaits and we are so nearly there.

AIEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!!!

Note: dissertation abandoned. Stress related, I hope to submit at a later date. I will hear back next week.

Bump n grind

I've been looking at pics of me when I was pregnant with the twins. The bump was about the same sticking out-ness as my current bump but was considerably wider. This isn't surprising as the babies lay side by side for the entire second half of the pregnancy. I knew this due to the lovely 4 weekly scans which I would love to have this time. My time is up for having a 3D scan as I would have had to have had it this weekend.

This baby is apparently in the textbook cephalic position (head down, bum up) but I have my doubts as previously mentioned. Baby is up and down anyway as my bump is definitely raised in the middle. Although she does seem to be slightly over to my left side, even though her heartbeat is nearly always on the right. She must have her head down right and her bum off to the left. I have distinctly bruised ribs, her kicks are vicious sometimes and right now she seems to have a foot or similar locked underneath my ribcage. Ouchie!

O and I had a happy time shining his torch at the bump this evening and watching baby squirm. I trust this isn't unpleasant for her as it is presumably a red glow rather than a bright light, and it was recommended by a pregnancy guide.

Dissertation progresses! 1500 words added tonight, all heading done and time allocation completed. I know what to write and have a time plan to write it in. Due date is 15th, which really means 12th as we're away that day, and I need to get it bound. So next Wed, the 10th, is my deadline and I hope to be finished writing by this Wed. Fingers crossed it isn't too sore to sit!

The lost one

I definitely typed a blog earlier. Where is it? Did I email it to someone random? Is it gone? Did I imagine it? Worrying.

We shall assume I typed it and didn't save it. Otherwise *we* shall go mad.

Today's swimming was less good: less relieving and more painful after. Boo. Obviously not a daily activity, maybe a twice weekly one instead. Next week the boys have swimming lessons each morning so we probably won't be doing any additional swimming.

Today's midwife check was fine, blood pressure (now to be checked fortnightly) is still normal. I had bloods taken to check for anaemia, glucose levels and antibodies. Otherwise all good: urine is clear, no swelling, nothing unusual other than the pelvic restrictions and bump is measuring a little bigger than it should but within normal limits. A little over a week's measurement ahead, which isn't as much as before and can probably be attributed to my lack of eating due to toothache. Previous big bump would then be down to excess eating. Shockeronie.

The midwife felt my bump and was assured that she felt a bum at the top. She felt down low and said that was a head also. This is good news; even with a caesarean head down is best as it is always good to deliver the head first. But having lain in a room prior to my twins' birth with several midwives and an obstetrician unable to decide if they could feel a head or a bottom (it was a bottom despite several plumping for head), I take all this with a pinch of salt. Also, really? Nothing bottom like to my touch, although admittedly my midwifery training is nil. I presume her to be head down when the majority of the kicks are upwards as I'm assuming the vicious kicks are from the legs and the gentler ones are punchy hands. I can discern feet when they push against my bump, everything else is a bit of a mystery.

Movement is peaking again. Constant jiggling from teatime till sleeptime. The latter being less like 4am and more like 1am which is good, there is hope for normality.

Dissertation due one month today. I must get on. I was doing well last week, this week the toothache has knocked me for six. 4 weeks, 2500 words a week. No bother...

Times they are a-changing

Hmm. A more tactful colleague today said in a nice manner that I was blooming. Because of the tact, I responded in the manner of a calm rational person and discussed that yes, I am unmistakably pregnant but really, if you think how ginormous ladies get in the last month, I'm relatively teeny. I don't stick out much. And do you know what she said??? You're quite neat really.

I love her. Even if she did just say it to humour me.

Hmm 2
As I continue to read Clare Byam-Cook I am less enamoured. Not so much by her - although she does wax lyrical about the great usefulness of your own mother (she hasn't met mine; lovely though she may be, useful she is not) and how to choose a maternity nurse (as if!) - but more with the sheer effort involved in breastfeeding. I am told it is easier. I am not sure what it is easier than however, because it sounds rather hard to me.

I'm still going to try. If I manage any time, I'll be pleased.

Baby has kicked rather a lot today. Which is still life affirming (literally!) but can be rather painful at times. I was idly twiddling my (unrecognisable) navel before and my finger got booted. At one point I lay my hand on my abdomen and FELT her racing heartbeat. She must have been lying right at the surface. It was weird, but cool.

Active girl. I should eat less cake/consume less fizzy caffeine.

Enough!

It's a big bump, I get it. There are reasons for this:

1) it's got a baby, placenta and what not in it
2) you can assume that twins might cause a bit of excessive stretching
3) I wasn't skinny when I conceived.
4) I haven't really expanded all over

I can accept that it may look surprisingly big. But is it necessary to comment habitually? One of my colleagues has commented at least once at day since she found out I was pregnant.  Admittedly that was less than a month ago as she's been off, but still. Every day??? Yesterday she was suggesting I'd have the baby earlier than I expected because I'm so big. Because babies are born as soon as they reach a certain size? Because  the sonographers and I are inept at calculating dates?

I can accept that people might comment.
Once. If they haven't seen me for a while.
Preferably to someone else so I can't hear.

I may well have in the past, indeed I know I have, commented to a third party that someone seems bigger than I expected. I think pregnant ladies always do, you go through a not-that-pregnant, not-that-pregnant, not-that-pregnant, HUGE without ever passing "a wee bit pregnant". Maybe with the first one, certainly not with subsequent babies.

Never, ever have I said it to the someone in question. I wouldn't. I might say that their bump is lovely and neat, or that they're looking lovely, or how can you look that neat if you're about to have a baby?? but never, ever comment on the largeness of a woman's girth.

They wouldn't say "you're looking a bit fat" if I wasn't pregnant and I had a big tummy, which is partly what they are actually saying now. Baby is normal sized, fluid volume is normal, therefore it is me that is big. Not the baby within.

And seriously, the number of people that think it's ok to repeatedly ask if I'm sure it's not twins? That is rude. One socially impaired person actually went so far as to say you are sure, you've definitely seen it on a scan, there wasn't one hiding? That same soul remarks "you ARE big" every single time she sees me take my jacket off. Yes, that'll be the baby. Another charmer who generally keeps her remarks to a weekly basis was chortling yesterday about how enormous I'm going to be. Ho ho!

I get it. I can hardly wait for the next school term to start after the summer holidays. I shall be 34 weeks pregnant, presumably the size of a medium country and very waddlesome.

Although if I express my concerns about the school run in  the late stages of pregnancy, I get repeat idiocy that I was subjected to with the twins that I'll "hopefully" go really early. 6 weeks early in this case. Yes, that's what I dream of, a premature baby so I can be less uncomfortable.

Why why why, at a time when you're hormonal and grumpy, do people feel the need to dismiss all social niceties??

Insults

I'm fed up with people and so I shall revisit a previous rant.

Yes, I'm pregnant. Woo. I have a big tummy. Please, do, comment perpetually on it.

You ARE big, aren't you? Goodness!! Are you SURE you're not having twins? 22 weeks you say? Sheesh, that's big for 22 weeks. Ha ha, the other twin must be hiding. Ha! Imagine if it was twins. Wouldn't that be sooooo funny? Are you sure it's not twins? Positive? You are big though.

First of all, I'm a bit conscious of the fact that I have a massive bump. I always have a bit of a fat belly, even when the rest of me is slim. I don't expect people to comment on it however, but no, now I'm pregnant it's ok to say I've got a big tummy. Sure it is.

To excuse myself, I did have twins before, I wasn't in the best shape pre conception, Also, I haven't gained weight elsewhere so I'm all bump. And finally, I'm not actually measuring big for my dates according to the midwife yesterday, I'm bang on average.

Besides, I'm tall. My husband is tall. My twins were 6lb2 and 7lb1, which is massive for twins. I don't expect a tiny baby.

The best came from a colleague yesterday. She commented that it was "amazing" and shook her head.

To what amazing thing were we referring?

Why, the fact that at my age and with the older children at school and all that, to be having another baby, of course. That amazing thing. More head shaking and I don't know how you'll do it.

Ahem.

I am 36, plenty older than me have had babies. And as to the age gap, can I go back to the fact that the existing children are twins, which startlingly means that there are two of them? Had I had one baby, then another after 2.5 years and then this one after another 2.5, would anyone have commented on the gap? I doubt it. Yet having the two and then a five year gap, that's amazing. I think it's a brilliant gap and that I'd have struggled to cope with a lesser gap, but what would I know?

It's a free for all to pregnant ladies, I know it's not just me. Our pregnancies are public property. Our bumps are there for the touching, any aspect of our appearance can be commented on, and the health, temperament, name and gender of the baby can be freely speculated upon. I am open
to being told how I feel about my unborn child because, yes, you do know more about that than I do. Now is also totally the time to discuss my future procreation plans.

Note sarcasm. Please note sarcasm.

Interestingly, it is primarily women who are grandmothers who offend the greatest. Younger women, especially the childless, are either uninterested or ask sensible questions and express sensible sympathy. Having given birth you become a guru (I have myself done this) and apparently once your progeny have given birth, then you are in fact a fully qualified birth and parenting counsellor.

In short, or not as the case may be, sod off everyone who wants to comment. I don't want to hear it and I've almost certainly heard it before.