Up and down.

I seem to have noticed a pattern. When my pelvis hurts a lot, my ribs don't. When my ribs hurt a lot, my pelvis is eased. The rib pain is actually more uncomfortable as it is accompanied by severe indigestion, and doesn't go away whatever I do. Although the pelvis pain is much worse, I have means to relieve that and if I don't have to walk anywhere, I'm ok.

Anyways, I assume baby is shifting higher and lower, or turning, or something, which is what affects the location of the discomfort. She is still about half the size she will be at term, so I guess I'll be mighty sore by then, possibly high and low simultaneously. Oh, the joys.

I may add that any relief of the pelvic pain vanishes upon leaving the house and doing any walking at all. Very sore again, and walking is still sore on an indigestion day even if sitting is easier.

I'm still big, as I was told today. $$>>€}^]€\!}+~!!! Why comment? What's the point of saying it again and again? Does it mean, oh you must be further on, or oh you are a fatto, or oh you must be having a massive baby???? I've been consistently the same amount big and it's really doing my head in whenever anyone says. I'm not abnormally big - like I was with the twins. I'm not fat anywhere else, you get a LOT of fat arses in the third trimester. So, comments are pointless. There is a range of ok, and I am within it. Today's was at the end of a discussion/monologue from me as to why I want a caesarean, ending with "you are big though" from chief big bump watcher, so I'm not sure if that was a reference to the unlikelihood of elephantine child fitting through my waif-like* pelvis or not.

*I wasn't skinny btw, I was about 2lb over the normal weight range. Not exactly vast, but not skinny. I stopped dieting when I was 7lb within the range, then put on 9lb over the next year and a bit.

On the caesarean thing, I am feeling a little narked at the insinuation that only childbirth is real pain. In an obtuse way I almost want to feel it so I can say, actual that is, or isn't, akin to needing two years of tramadol for a neck injury or the shooting pain of toothache. There's something awful about pain that's present day after day after day after day and labour is short lived, even a ridiculously long labour is a few days.

I fully sympathise with men, although they are wusses. My hubby had a kidney infection last year and was howling in pain, convinced he was dying. He whimpered to me, UTI veteran, "is this what you have?" to which the answer is yes, frequently. I still maintain an abscess in my tooth was the sorest thing I have ever experienced, more than the neck or the pelvis or any kidney infection. I'd like to see the "childbirth" brigade talk to an injured soldier. Huh.

Thats me all ranted out.

32 weeks tomorrow, week 33 awaits and we are so nearly there.

AIEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!!!

Note: dissertation abandoned. Stress related, I hope to submit at a later date. I will hear back next week.

Shudduppayourface

Words people should never use to a pregnant lady:

Plump
Swell (which requires a silly emphasis)
Large
Big
You're going to have your hands full!
Goodness!!

People should also avoid criticism, advice, anecdotes, pity, expectation and pretty much any form of interaction.

The weather is generally safe. Stick with the weather.

Enough!

It's a big bump, I get it. There are reasons for this:

1) it's got a baby, placenta and what not in it
2) you can assume that twins might cause a bit of excessive stretching
3) I wasn't skinny when I conceived.
4) I haven't really expanded all over

I can accept that it may look surprisingly big. But is it necessary to comment habitually? One of my colleagues has commented at least once at day since she found out I was pregnant.  Admittedly that was less than a month ago as she's been off, but still. Every day??? Yesterday she was suggesting I'd have the baby earlier than I expected because I'm so big. Because babies are born as soon as they reach a certain size? Because  the sonographers and I are inept at calculating dates?

I can accept that people might comment.
Once. If they haven't seen me for a while.
Preferably to someone else so I can't hear.

I may well have in the past, indeed I know I have, commented to a third party that someone seems bigger than I expected. I think pregnant ladies always do, you go through a not-that-pregnant, not-that-pregnant, not-that-pregnant, HUGE without ever passing "a wee bit pregnant". Maybe with the first one, certainly not with subsequent babies.

Never, ever have I said it to the someone in question. I wouldn't. I might say that their bump is lovely and neat, or that they're looking lovely, or how can you look that neat if you're about to have a baby?? but never, ever comment on the largeness of a woman's girth.

They wouldn't say "you're looking a bit fat" if I wasn't pregnant and I had a big tummy, which is partly what they are actually saying now. Baby is normal sized, fluid volume is normal, therefore it is me that is big. Not the baby within.

And seriously, the number of people that think it's ok to repeatedly ask if I'm sure it's not twins? That is rude. One socially impaired person actually went so far as to say you are sure, you've definitely seen it on a scan, there wasn't one hiding? That same soul remarks "you ARE big" every single time she sees me take my jacket off. Yes, that'll be the baby. Another charmer who generally keeps her remarks to a weekly basis was chortling yesterday about how enormous I'm going to be. Ho ho!

I get it. I can hardly wait for the next school term to start after the summer holidays. I shall be 34 weeks pregnant, presumably the size of a medium country and very waddlesome.

Although if I express my concerns about the school run in  the late stages of pregnancy, I get repeat idiocy that I was subjected to with the twins that I'll "hopefully" go really early. 6 weeks early in this case. Yes, that's what I dream of, a premature baby so I can be less uncomfortable.

Why why why, at a time when you're hormonal and grumpy, do people feel the need to dismiss all social niceties??

Insults

I'm fed up with people and so I shall revisit a previous rant.

Yes, I'm pregnant. Woo. I have a big tummy. Please, do, comment perpetually on it.

You ARE big, aren't you? Goodness!! Are you SURE you're not having twins? 22 weeks you say? Sheesh, that's big for 22 weeks. Ha ha, the other twin must be hiding. Ha! Imagine if it was twins. Wouldn't that be sooooo funny? Are you sure it's not twins? Positive? You are big though.

First of all, I'm a bit conscious of the fact that I have a massive bump. I always have a bit of a fat belly, even when the rest of me is slim. I don't expect people to comment on it however, but no, now I'm pregnant it's ok to say I've got a big tummy. Sure it is.

To excuse myself, I did have twins before, I wasn't in the best shape pre conception, Also, I haven't gained weight elsewhere so I'm all bump. And finally, I'm not actually measuring big for my dates according to the midwife yesterday, I'm bang on average.

Besides, I'm tall. My husband is tall. My twins were 6lb2 and 7lb1, which is massive for twins. I don't expect a tiny baby.

The best came from a colleague yesterday. She commented that it was "amazing" and shook her head.

To what amazing thing were we referring?

Why, the fact that at my age and with the older children at school and all that, to be having another baby, of course. That amazing thing. More head shaking and I don't know how you'll do it.

Ahem.

I am 36, plenty older than me have had babies. And as to the age gap, can I go back to the fact that the existing children are twins, which startlingly means that there are two of them? Had I had one baby, then another after 2.5 years and then this one after another 2.5, would anyone have commented on the gap? I doubt it. Yet having the two and then a five year gap, that's amazing. I think it's a brilliant gap and that I'd have struggled to cope with a lesser gap, but what would I know?

It's a free for all to pregnant ladies, I know it's not just me. Our pregnancies are public property. Our bumps are there for the touching, any aspect of our appearance can be commented on, and the health, temperament, name and gender of the baby can be freely speculated upon. I am open
to being told how I feel about my unborn child because, yes, you do know more about that than I do. Now is also totally the time to discuss my future procreation plans.

Note sarcasm. Please note sarcasm.

Interestingly, it is primarily women who are grandmothers who offend the greatest. Younger women, especially the childless, are either uninterested or ask sensible questions and express sensible sympathy. Having given birth you become a guru (I have myself done this) and apparently once your progeny have given birth, then you are in fact a fully qualified birth and parenting counsellor.

In short, or not as the case may be, sod off everyone who wants to comment. I don't want to hear it and I've almost certainly heard it before.