Caved

I have ordered a Doppler, it will be here in 2 days. This is probably stupid for a couple of reasons:

1) having fretted until 17.5 weeks, it's a bit illogical to buy reassurance just as the time comes that kicks will kick in properly and provide the reassurance.

2) it is definitely the way of madness, hourly heartbeat checks leading to own heart failure periodically as ineptitude strikes.

It didn't cost much.

My midwife appointment, as made last week in light of blood pressure and headache, is a week on Tuesday. That's not long. And my scan is the Thursday after that. At which we can ascertain the wellness of baby and hopefully the gender.

Sleeps till Doppler arrives: 2
Sleeps till midwife appointment: 13
Sleeps till anomaly scan: 22

That's kind of ages. And that does mean 20 sleeps till I have to give a presentation on my masters dissertation.

I can do that. I shall write it this weekend. I know what I'm doing, this ain't the dissertation, it's a "what I am going to do next".

An aside. Something else to fret about. How novel. Added to the fecking ginormous bump that is unmistakable a pregnant bump, I'm a bit dreading the whole thing. Not preparing it, doing it. While pregnant, waddlesome, vague and forgetful.

Talking of the giant bump, it is obviously not all baby at 17 weeks and thus anyone who knows my dates and comments on "my god it's huge" is actually commenting on my first trimester doughnut consumption. "Are you sure it's only one?" is RUDE.

Meantime I have a sore tummy, sore back and sore most other places. Not good, will not become paranoid.

Ok, I'm paranoid. I haven't felt the maybe-flutters properly today. Hence the ordering of the doppler.

Madness ahoy!