Baby E is bunged up with a cold - again. Like mother like daughter, cold two in 4 weeks alive seems unfair. She is more stoical with this one, the last cold made her super grumpy, this one she is more cuddly and resigned.
The main problem with the cold is her inability to feed enough to sleep it off. We had just switched to Tommee Tippee bottles and Hipp Organic milk with apparent first day success, the the arrival of the snot rendered the Tommee Tippee redundant and NUK back on the menu. As to the milk, it seems ok but we have a little sick which could be the milk, her age or just mucus related.
And as if by magic, baby awakens for her next feed. Later...
Friday, 30 September 2011
Monday, 26 September 2011
Today was the day
I feel strange. It is now 26 September, which is one month after that diabolical day that I attended hospital for a routine appointment and remained for ten days before leaving with my tiny early baby.
More significantly, today is the day that E would have been delivered had all remained stable. This is the day I've been looking to since May.
Instead, I have a bouncing three week old still tiny baby. I cannot fathom why I feel sad/guilty/weird about having her early. This weekend past would have had me stressing, but loading things onto my iPhone, packing nice pjs, organising newborn sized clothes. Nice planning. And today I would have had the section. Which isn't pleasant really, other than the amazing moment of meeting the baby.
E is unaware of this, of course, and is happily adhering to the behaviour expected of a three week old.
She cries more loudly and frequently. Tears are down to hunger, nappy changes and a new addition for three weeks: not being allowed to sleep exclusively on mummy's chest. She mostly feeds well but I have a dilemma of no perfect bottle yet. NUK has proven most successful, the next size bottles of, which she will need as soon as she takes more than 4oz each feed, don't fit in the steriliser. We have an array of Avent things (including the steriliser) but she doesn't get on with the teats. Small ones are too hard work, larger ones are too messy. We have mostly NUK teats on Avent bottles at the moment and they are kind of leaky. Tommee Tippee may be the answer, but we're not there yet.
O was home with a cold today. I am exhausted from sheer lack of sleep. 8pm bedtime for me tonight I think!!
Oh, and my wound is infected, I now need an antibiotic, despite the nurse insisting it was clean.
I need a holiday. Or a maternity nurse. Or a cleaner. Or all of the above.
More significantly, today is the day that E would have been delivered had all remained stable. This is the day I've been looking to since May.
Instead, I have a bouncing three week old still tiny baby. I cannot fathom why I feel sad/guilty/weird about having her early. This weekend past would have had me stressing, but loading things onto my iPhone, packing nice pjs, organising newborn sized clothes. Nice planning. And today I would have had the section. Which isn't pleasant really, other than the amazing moment of meeting the baby.
E is unaware of this, of course, and is happily adhering to the behaviour expected of a three week old.
She cries more loudly and frequently. Tears are down to hunger, nappy changes and a new addition for three weeks: not being allowed to sleep exclusively on mummy's chest. She mostly feeds well but I have a dilemma of no perfect bottle yet. NUK has proven most successful, the next size bottles of, which she will need as soon as she takes more than 4oz each feed, don't fit in the steriliser. We have an array of Avent things (including the steriliser) but she doesn't get on with the teats. Small ones are too hard work, larger ones are too messy. We have mostly NUK teats on Avent bottles at the moment and they are kind of leaky. Tommee Tippee may be the answer, but we're not there yet.
O was home with a cold today. I am exhausted from sheer lack of sleep. 8pm bedtime for me tonight I think!!
Oh, and my wound is infected, I now need an antibiotic, despite the nurse insisting it was clean.
I need a holiday. Or a maternity nurse. Or a cleaner. Or all of the above.
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Zzzz zzzz
E has the cold. E has slept badly and been grumpy since Sunday night, coinciding badly with hubby's return to work on Monday.
Tired much.
But I don't mind much, even though I may be a danger when out and about. Not being a great sleeper, spending nights cuddling my gorgeous wee girl isn't a hardship.
E continues to astonish with her alertness and general brilliance. I fear I may be experiencing first born syndrome with my first singleton, purely because I have time to sit and cuddle her and simply watch her be. The twins, while amazing and gorgeous also, were both overwhelming and a duo, so I could not just watch and cuddle them incessantly.
I am tired though. I cannot go to bed early. This makes me stupid, I know this. I don't change though. Bedtime is currently about midnight however which is a vast improvement on usual. Usual doesn't however normally have me awake 3 till 5.
Monday is the day I expected E to be born. I may feel more balanced after it has passed. Maybe.
And now, to sleep perchance to dream.
Tired much.
But I don't mind much, even though I may be a danger when out and about. Not being a great sleeper, spending nights cuddling my gorgeous wee girl isn't a hardship.
E continues to astonish with her alertness and general brilliance. I fear I may be experiencing first born syndrome with my first singleton, purely because I have time to sit and cuddle her and simply watch her be. The twins, while amazing and gorgeous also, were both overwhelming and a duo, so I could not just watch and cuddle them incessantly.
I am tired though. I cannot go to bed early. This makes me stupid, I know this. I don't change though. Bedtime is currently about midnight however which is a vast improvement on usual. Usual doesn't however normally have me awake 3 till 5.
Monday is the day I expected E to be born. I may feel more balanced after it has passed. Maybe.
And now, to sleep perchance to dream.
Sunday, 18 September 2011
2 weeks to go...
Hmm. The health visitor visited on Thursday and while she was suitably appreciative of E's notable genius and general wellbeing, I feel a little narked. Not at the HV herself, she was very nice, but at the "preterm" thing.
E was delivered at 36 weeks (almost, a day short) at the recommendation of the obstetricians. 36 weeks is enough time for a baby to mature. 37 weeks, one week later, is considered full term.
Now, E is considered preterm. By one week according to the above. No. 4 weeks. So everything she is expected to achieve and all her checks etc are "adjusted" by 4 weeks and it will be as if she had been born on her due date. She doesn't graduate off the preterm growth charts until she is 6 weeks old at what would have been 42 weeks. Her immunisations follow her actual age thankfully, otherwise she is currently -2 weeks old, which doesn't help the whole making sense of it all in the raddled old head.
She is perfect though, and is eating for Britain (if there ever was a need to suck milk for one's country) as well as being astonishingly aware and alert. Small downside of her apparent early growth spurt (she would be gaining fat at a rate of noughts in utero right now, and fat she is certainly lacking) is the frequency with which she wishes to feed.
And poo. Ten or so dirty nappies a day, HV says it is because she is early and it should rectify by E's due date.
Due date. So much is pinned on that:
E will reach "normal" weight and will cease to struggle with feeding enough, temperature etc.
I shall feel normal about her being here.
I shall be normal shaped (if be-uddered).
BP update: is measuring NORMAL. Wooooo!! And that's not even a touch sarcastic. Now on extra high doses of drugs, concerned BP may drop TOO much now. We'll see.
Tried E out in her baby sling, she liked it a lot although I wasn't convince she was safe in it an constantly checked she was breathing. She was, it is safe. It doesn't feel it though.
Insomnia is a thing of the past. If I lie down, I go to sleep. Any time. Awakeness is decreed by awakened offspring.
Night all.
E was delivered at 36 weeks (almost, a day short) at the recommendation of the obstetricians. 36 weeks is enough time for a baby to mature. 37 weeks, one week later, is considered full term.
Now, E is considered preterm. By one week according to the above. No. 4 weeks. So everything she is expected to achieve and all her checks etc are "adjusted" by 4 weeks and it will be as if she had been born on her due date. She doesn't graduate off the preterm growth charts until she is 6 weeks old at what would have been 42 weeks. Her immunisations follow her actual age thankfully, otherwise she is currently -2 weeks old, which doesn't help the whole making sense of it all in the raddled old head.
She is perfect though, and is eating for Britain (if there ever was a need to suck milk for one's country) as well as being astonishingly aware and alert. Small downside of her apparent early growth spurt (she would be gaining fat at a rate of noughts in utero right now, and fat she is certainly lacking) is the frequency with which she wishes to feed.
And poo. Ten or so dirty nappies a day, HV says it is because she is early and it should rectify by E's due date.
Due date. So much is pinned on that:
E will reach "normal" weight and will cease to struggle with feeding enough, temperature etc.
I shall feel normal about her being here.
I shall be normal shaped (if be-uddered).
BP update: is measuring NORMAL. Wooooo!! And that's not even a touch sarcastic. Now on extra high doses of drugs, concerned BP may drop TOO much now. We'll see.
Tried E out in her baby sling, she liked it a lot although I wasn't convince she was safe in it an constantly checked she was breathing. She was, it is safe. It doesn't feel it though.
Insomnia is a thing of the past. If I lie down, I go to sleep. Any time. Awakeness is decreed by awakened offspring.
Night all.
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Day 11
They don't count the date of birth, the following day is day one, so today is day 11.
This means:
No midwife visit today, I am deemed capable and recovered and Day 10 marked the end of the daily midwife checks. On Thursday I am to be vetted, sorry, visited for a catch up, by the Health Visitor which is always a joy. And also my GP for the old blood pressure, which at present stands at high but normal.
Last night was better, we have two wake ups for feeding, last night it was midnight and 3am, which was fine, with her next cries at 7am when we need to be up anyway. E cries very little, a few cries to alert us to her needing food, and more grunts in response to dirty nappies etc. Grunts and sighs and squeaks are her first line of getting attention, crying is reserved for desperation at the slowness of a parent. This is lovely, long may it last. Newborns "should" cry a lot more.
We do still have teething ahead.
I have four more days, plus the weekend, of paternity leave and having a partner in nappies. When he goes back to work next Monday I shall be a little lost. I am having a practice of doing the morning routine on my own (failure this morning as missy urinated all over her clothes mid nappy change, requiring a clean up and a complete change, so daddy had to take over toast spreading and distribution).
I haven't done the school run yet. I may go up for them today (with their daddy, not alone). I now feel non bonkers enough to speak to people without crying so it should be ok. Most notably, I can walk there. Woo.
This means:
No midwife visit today, I am deemed capable and recovered and Day 10 marked the end of the daily midwife checks. On Thursday I am to be vetted, sorry, visited for a catch up, by the Health Visitor which is always a joy. And also my GP for the old blood pressure, which at present stands at high but normal.
Last night was better, we have two wake ups for feeding, last night it was midnight and 3am, which was fine, with her next cries at 7am when we need to be up anyway. E cries very little, a few cries to alert us to her needing food, and more grunts in response to dirty nappies etc. Grunts and sighs and squeaks are her first line of getting attention, crying is reserved for desperation at the slowness of a parent. This is lovely, long may it last. Newborns "should" cry a lot more.
We do still have teething ahead.
I have four more days, plus the weekend, of paternity leave and having a partner in nappies. When he goes back to work next Monday I shall be a little lost. I am having a practice of doing the morning routine on my own (failure this morning as missy urinated all over her clothes mid nappy change, requiring a clean up and a complete change, so daddy had to take over toast spreading and distribution).
I haven't done the school run yet. I may go up for them today (with their daddy, not alone). I now feel non bonkers enough to speak to people without crying so it should be ok. Most notably, I can walk there. Woo.
Monday, 12 September 2011
Back to me
Well, E is doing well, she is regaining weight after the post birth weight loss (of all babies, not just E). She is also alert, a good colour, content and so on. And the brightest baby ever (since my last ones) obviously.
So, me.
My blood pressure is normalising. Woohoo. It is still high, but it is no longer dangerously so. No more hospital!
My body is a slightly better version of the one I had prepregnancy. Seriously. I apparently don't do the baby weight thing and the ginormous bump is vanishing at an astonishing rate.
We won't talk about the udder and the new added udder of udder. We shall pretend that it's not there and that I wear Spanx for comfort only.
I have had odd compliments on my thinness. While I was having my spinal block given prior to E being delivered, I was pleasantly aware that there was little flabby resistance to the anaesthetist's fingers when he was feeling for my hipbones in order to ascertain my symmetry. He later commented that I had a "nice back" with nothing in the way of the vertebrae. When giving injections to prevent clotting, the midwife complained that I didn't have enough fat on my legs.
I'm not skinny. By a long shot. However, I was gratified in hospital every time the "large" blood pressure cuff had to be replaced by the "medium" one. Most other patients seemed to need the large and I have noted that most ladies seem to have lardy arms in pregnancy. Even skinny ladies.
I am feeling a bit less hormonal now, I managed to do stuff around the house and generally feel more, well, normal. With a cute little baby added in.
So, me.
My blood pressure is normalising. Woohoo. It is still high, but it is no longer dangerously so. No more hospital!
My body is a slightly better version of the one I had prepregnancy. Seriously. I apparently don't do the baby weight thing and the ginormous bump is vanishing at an astonishing rate.
We won't talk about the udder and the new added udder of udder. We shall pretend that it's not there and that I wear Spanx for comfort only.
I have had odd compliments on my thinness. While I was having my spinal block given prior to E being delivered, I was pleasantly aware that there was little flabby resistance to the anaesthetist's fingers when he was feeling for my hipbones in order to ascertain my symmetry. He later commented that I had a "nice back" with nothing in the way of the vertebrae. When giving injections to prevent clotting, the midwife complained that I didn't have enough fat on my legs.
I'm not skinny. By a long shot. However, I was gratified in hospital every time the "large" blood pressure cuff had to be replaced by the "medium" one. Most other patients seemed to need the large and I have noted that most ladies seem to have lardy arms in pregnancy. Even skinny ladies.
I am feeling a bit less hormonal now, I managed to do stuff around the house and generally feel more, well, normal. With a cute little baby added in.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Motherhood the second
Well, from my ponderations of pregnancy, a few things have transpired to be true and a few to be woefully inaccurate.
I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.
No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".
One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!
E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.
And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?
Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.
Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.
Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!
Neck still not sore.
Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.
And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.
I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.
No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".
One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!
E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.
And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?
Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.
Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.
Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!
Neck still not sore.
Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.
And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Drama on the high BP
Well, baby E's birth went well and then things went pear shaped with my blood pressure. E is amazing, she is well and healthy and her only concerns have been her temperature on the day she was born, and her smallness meaning she can't feed a lot or feed very fast.
She is a delightful baby, very chilled and extraordinarily cute. It is so far much, much easier with one, and I do feel bad for each of the twins that we didn't ever have the one on one interaction that E is getting.
We came out of hospital two days after E's birth, following a battle between me and the staff regarding my blood pressure and the fact that they can't get it down. I was nearly re-admitted this evening, but stood my ground. I still have crazy high bp, but am now taking the pills I took before pregnancy and praying that it goes down. Idiotic behaviour from the docs at the hospital and their inability to accept that a pregnant woman isn't pregnant any more once they have given birth.
I have been very scared of my own demise. Very. Much of today was spent weeping as a a result.
This week is to be spent getting better.
She is a delightful baby, very chilled and extraordinarily cute. It is so far much, much easier with one, and I do feel bad for each of the twins that we didn't ever have the one on one interaction that E is getting.
We came out of hospital two days after E's birth, following a battle between me and the staff regarding my blood pressure and the fact that they can't get it down. I was nearly re-admitted this evening, but stood my ground. I still have crazy high bp, but am now taking the pills I took before pregnancy and praying that it goes down. Idiotic behaviour from the docs at the hospital and their inability to accept that a pregnant woman isn't pregnant any more once they have given birth.
I have been very scared of my own demise. Very. Much of today was spent weeping as a a result.
This week is to be spent getting better.
Friday, 2 September 2011
She is here
Baby is here, and she is perfect.
Woke up this morning feeling fine, temperature normal, blood pressure high. Spoke to various doctors and at 11.30 or so I was taken down to theatre. Various preparations were done and then at 12.37 baby E was born by caesarean section at 36 weeks weighing 5 lb 8.5.
She required just to be rubbed in a towel in order to breathe properly at birth, and she has been lying in a hot-cot to raise her temperature, which seems to have worked. She did not require to go to special care and is tucked up in my room with me.
Given how worried I was about her, I am so relieved she had but minor needs. And I seem to be better, so awas necessary and right.
She is perfect and gorgeous. I can't stop just staring at her.
Woke up this morning feeling fine, temperature normal, blood pressure high. Spoke to various doctors and at 11.30 or so I was taken down to theatre. Various preparations were done and then at 12.37 baby E was born by caesarean section at 36 weeks weighing 5 lb 8.5.
She required just to be rubbed in a towel in order to breathe properly at birth, and she has been lying in a hot-cot to raise her temperature, which seems to have worked. She did not require to go to special care and is tucked up in my room with me.
Given how worried I was about her, I am so relieved she had but minor needs. And I seem to be better, so awas necessary and right.
She is perfect and gorgeous. I can't stop just staring at her.
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Birth Day in a few minutes... Probably
I appear to be broken. I feel ok, yet my blood pressure remains high (very) despite medicinal intervention for a full week now. Today I have the addition of a slightly raised temperature and an increased white cell count.
Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.
But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.
But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.
So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!
As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.
What do you think?
She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.
One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.
Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.
I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.
One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.
I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.
Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.
Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.
Panic station. I do feel a little paranoid when medical staff go bananas, it does suggest a modicum of seriousness.
But I am pregnant, they never take chances with pregnancy, and apparently infection can make anaesthetists reluctant to make a thonking great hole in my back for the spinal block. No anaesthetic clearly means no section.
But... Unidentified infection makes it more paramount to remove baby from her defective incubator.
So far I have responded very well to antibiotics and my temperature is normal. If it is normal upon waking, my section is now a priority. It should be a matter of hours until baby is born. And hours means about 9 hours. Yikes!
As a scan had been booked, the ultrasound department phoned down looking for me today. I had been told it had been cancelled and indeed had never been told the time it was to have been. So they phoned the ward and the conclusion was that a) my consultant clearly did want it and b) as I was there they'd do it if I wanted it.
What do you think?
She looks well. Everything is as should be and most encouragingly she is measuring large for her dates. She is very happy and she is still a she and I fervently hope that being taken from me a month early does not cause her damage.
One of my room mates had the cutest little boy I've seen early this morning, utterly gorgeous.
Another room mate is breaking my heart, she is 16 years old, 24 weeks pregnant with monochorionic twins and she has pre eclampsia. She was told today that she must remain in hospital until the babies are born and that this could be any day. Bless her, she just wants to be with her mum and she's really very ill. I am her surrogate mummy tonight but I am preoccupied and leaving ante natal tomorrow. The fact that I have twins and have been hospitalised to await the maturity (almost) of my baby means I can be Norma know it all. Which she seems to like poor poppet.
I feel ancient again. Her mum is younger than me.
One more room mate seems to be a possible real friend.
I am so self obsessed, once this is over and baby is all settled, I need to be a better friend to all.
Must try and relax. Sleep is unlikely but reading and chilling would probably be wise.
Baby in the morning. Please let her be ok. Please.
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Birth Day - 2 sleeps to go
This time tomorrow I'll be not-going-to-sleep with the thought that I will get up the next day and have my baby girl.
Scary.
Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.
Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.
Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.
I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.
My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.
The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.
Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.
Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.
Scary.
Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.
Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.
Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.
I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.
My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.
The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.
Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.
Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
The difference a date makes
Another entry seems to have been eaten, which I put down to my perpetually disappearing Internet connection.
Well. Consultant visit this morning was with my own assigned consultant, who I have seen for precisely five minutes prior to today, all of which were on last Friday.
He reiterated the unlikelihood of the tumour thing they are testing for. I'm more relaxed about that anyway, in the extremely rare case of the condition, knowing about it is the key, managed it is not particularly dangerous.
I am not to be allowed home, despite begging and proclaiming that *this* does not help reduce my blood pressure. Nor do the drugs much actually. But that is another thing altogether. He said he would like to wait till 37 weeks and that I would have to stay here. I cried.
What the consultant did after speaking to me made everything better.
First of all he discharged the noisiest hypochondriac person in the world who was in the bed opposite, restoring peace and commencing the first of my complete change of room mates as they moved onwards to home or labour and new labouring/sickly ladies arrived throughout the day.
Then he returned to me to tell me that we would go for 36 weeks and subject to theatre availability, a section would be booked around that date.
A booking has now been made. For Friday. This Friday. 3 days away. 2 sleeps after tonight. My daughter will be here in less than 3 days and any guilt I feel at curtailing her gestation is assuaged by the belief that her and I are both at danger if we continue. As an incubator my usefulness is shortly to be finished and medical attention would be better provided out of me.
And 36 weeks is pretty much ok, especially for a girl.
I am now very excited and much less freaked out. I did the essentials (bottles, tiny baby size sleepsuits, cot mattress etc) shopping online today, hubby has many collections to make at the weekend as if all goes swimmingly we could feasibly be home on Monday. Woo!
I could still be ill, baby could need special care. We have no guarantees. We shall be optimistic today though.
Another day, another outlook altogether...
Well. Consultant visit this morning was with my own assigned consultant, who I have seen for precisely five minutes prior to today, all of which were on last Friday.
He reiterated the unlikelihood of the tumour thing they are testing for. I'm more relaxed about that anyway, in the extremely rare case of the condition, knowing about it is the key, managed it is not particularly dangerous.
I am not to be allowed home, despite begging and proclaiming that *this* does not help reduce my blood pressure. Nor do the drugs much actually. But that is another thing altogether. He said he would like to wait till 37 weeks and that I would have to stay here. I cried.
What the consultant did after speaking to me made everything better.
First of all he discharged the noisiest hypochondriac person in the world who was in the bed opposite, restoring peace and commencing the first of my complete change of room mates as they moved onwards to home or labour and new labouring/sickly ladies arrived throughout the day.
Then he returned to me to tell me that we would go for 36 weeks and subject to theatre availability, a section would be booked around that date.
A booking has now been made. For Friday. This Friday. 3 days away. 2 sleeps after tonight. My daughter will be here in less than 3 days and any guilt I feel at curtailing her gestation is assuaged by the belief that her and I are both at danger if we continue. As an incubator my usefulness is shortly to be finished and medical attention would be better provided out of me.
And 36 weeks is pretty much ok, especially for a girl.
I am now very excited and much less freaked out. I did the essentials (bottles, tiny baby size sleepsuits, cot mattress etc) shopping online today, hubby has many collections to make at the weekend as if all goes swimmingly we could feasibly be home on Monday. Woo!
I could still be ill, baby could need special care. We have no guarantees. We shall be optimistic today though.
Another day, another outlook altogether...
Monday, 29 August 2011
Hospital, day 4
I am sick of being in hospital, I don't feel so feeble and really want to be at home now.
Sadly, that isn't happening soon but as I have been better, I'm now out of my cosy private room and into a ward. Good because I am now permitted afternoon visits so I can see my boys, and also because they have things such as patient fetched coffee and a tv room. Bad because there are other people in it and they are noisy. At least these people are ante natal and don't have crying babies with them.
So. The prognosis. Due to the lack of any pre eclampsia symptoms and the bonkers blood pressure, they have decided that it is essential hypertension (that's high blood pressure) and is highlighted by pregnancy rather than caused by it. I'm not sure what implication this has on treatment, hospital stay or delivery, I have a lot of questions for the docs.
Meantime they are trying to establish a cause, blood pressure does not normally behave like this. First up they eliminate the nasty possibilities so I've got a 24 hour test to rule out the worst possibility (a type of tumour called a Pheochromocytoma) which is incredibly rare but serious so must be eliminated.
Based on that I will be here for another two nights minimum. Sigh. And assuming thats negative, I have no idea what happens next. Many questions.
Baby is still well. I am an emotional wreck.
Sadly, that isn't happening soon but as I have been better, I'm now out of my cosy private room and into a ward. Good because I am now permitted afternoon visits so I can see my boys, and also because they have things such as patient fetched coffee and a tv room. Bad because there are other people in it and they are noisy. At least these people are ante natal and don't have crying babies with them.
So. The prognosis. Due to the lack of any pre eclampsia symptoms and the bonkers blood pressure, they have decided that it is essential hypertension (that's high blood pressure) and is highlighted by pregnancy rather than caused by it. I'm not sure what implication this has on treatment, hospital stay or delivery, I have a lot of questions for the docs.
Meantime they are trying to establish a cause, blood pressure does not normally behave like this. First up they eliminate the nasty possibilities so I've got a 24 hour test to rule out the worst possibility (a type of tumour called a Pheochromocytoma) which is incredibly rare but serious so must be eliminated.
Based on that I will be here for another two nights minimum. Sigh. And assuming thats negative, I have no idea what happens next. Many questions.
Baby is still well. I am an emotional wreck.
Sunday, 28 August 2011
And so it goes on
Gah. 36 or so hours in hospital and I don't seem to have progressed any. Finally my bp has stabilised with rather a lot of medication, but I don't feel too well. I wouldn't feel good going home yet.
Trouble is, they keep getting my medication so it works and reduces my bp to just the right level, then when it comes to the next dose at the same amount, it doesn't work so well. So I get more, and the more I get, the less well I feel. Contrarily, the only time I feel well is when my bp rockets.
I have been looking up how healthy babies born at 35 weeks are. Advice ranges from the scary "90% of babies survive at this stage" to the reassuring "most babies born after 34 weeks need no special care". Both my niece and step-nephew were born at 35 weeks and both were absolutely fine and home within days.
Tomorrow will see if the doctors have nailed the medication level and then I can go home and take it easy for as long as possible. I'm not too optimistic though. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be in here and monitored for another week, then baby will be delivered.
We have so much to do before we are ready for baby and whatever happens, I am unlikely to be any use until after she is born. Favours required all round, not least for getting the boys from school (and looking after them while I remain in here) and the logistics of getting everything we need into the house. My parents have cancelled their planned trip to France next week (booked after baby was known to be on her way, I did wonder as to wiseness) which is very nice of them and I hope it doesn't prove unfounded. Well, it'd be nice if it did and baby and I carried on fine until 39 weeks, but it'd be a shame if they had cancelled unnecessarily.
Baby is doing very well, I am pleased to say, and if she is to come early I hope the predictions as to her largeness prove correct. I hope to cook her for longer, but if I cannot then I hope she is well enough developed to be totally well. I will have failed her somewhat when she has done so well and I cannot fulfil the full gestation time. Sigh.
Fears of mortality emerge once more...
Trouble is, they keep getting my medication so it works and reduces my bp to just the right level, then when it comes to the next dose at the same amount, it doesn't work so well. So I get more, and the more I get, the less well I feel. Contrarily, the only time I feel well is when my bp rockets.
I have been looking up how healthy babies born at 35 weeks are. Advice ranges from the scary "90% of babies survive at this stage" to the reassuring "most babies born after 34 weeks need no special care". Both my niece and step-nephew were born at 35 weeks and both were absolutely fine and home within days.
Tomorrow will see if the doctors have nailed the medication level and then I can go home and take it easy for as long as possible. I'm not too optimistic though. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be in here and monitored for another week, then baby will be delivered.
We have so much to do before we are ready for baby and whatever happens, I am unlikely to be any use until after she is born. Favours required all round, not least for getting the boys from school (and looking after them while I remain in here) and the logistics of getting everything we need into the house. My parents have cancelled their planned trip to France next week (booked after baby was known to be on her way, I did wonder as to wiseness) which is very nice of them and I hope it doesn't prove unfounded. Well, it'd be nice if it did and baby and I carried on fine until 39 weeks, but it'd be a shame if they had cancelled unnecessarily.
Baby is doing very well, I am pleased to say, and if she is to come early I hope the predictions as to her largeness prove correct. I hope to cook her for longer, but if I cannot then I hope she is well enough developed to be totally well. I will have failed her somewhat when she has done so well and I cannot fulfil the full gestation time. Sigh.
Fears of mortality emerge once more...
Saturday, 27 August 2011
Day two, hospital
Well, I'm still here in the hospital. I don't feel brilliant, my bp is really high without the medication and I feel a bit ick when I've taken the medication. I seem to need to take two types in combination. They're still working out the dose so I'll be here till at least tomorrow, then I'll hopefully be able to get home and come back once a day as an outpatient.
Spoke to doc this morning and he said that if I was 36 or better 37 weeks then he would be inclined just to deliver baby, but 35 weeks - which is what I am today - is just a little early. I don't think they're going to go past 37 weeks so I've only got 2 weeks or so to go unless my bp stabilises brilliantly, which is unlikely. If it doesn't stabilise at all they may deliver sooner, but baby is better off in just now and they will only deliver if I am significantly less well with her in. She would be fine born now, but better the longer she stays.
He also says they're happy to sterilise me while they're doing the section, but I have to be sure. I'm sure! Nobody has remotely queried the fact that I am to have a section so I feel a lot better about that decision. She doesn't actually seem to be breech today but I'm due a scan on Friday to confirm. Even with a section they prefer to know the lie of the baby.
Didn't sleep much through the night with monitoring and feeling guff, but I spent a good hour or three asleep this morning. Quite enjoying peace and quiet and having food brought to my bed, and I don't really feel well enough to be bored. I have my phone and my kindle, but I'd like my three boys here. The wee boys got a bit bored last night which made the big boy have to take them home after half an hour. I've discovered they are allowed in 2-8, not 3-4 and 7-8 like other visitors, and now I'm in a private room they can hopefully draw and let hubby stay a bit longer.
Baby isn't really co-operating when they try and do a trace of her heartbeat. She moves away from the pad, just like O did! He caused undue headaches during traces when I was at this stage with the boys, and his little sister is exactly the same. I now envisage her to be going to be exactly like he was as a baby. R was such a much easier baby, I was sort of hoping for another chilled baby. O is a delightful and more considerate child, so it's not a bad thing, plus we know what actually settled him so we know what to try.
She may not be like O on the outside, just because she's a wriggler. O will be delighted if she is though. Bless. She may be different from either twin, of course. Time will tell.
Spoke to doc this morning and he said that if I was 36 or better 37 weeks then he would be inclined just to deliver baby, but 35 weeks - which is what I am today - is just a little early. I don't think they're going to go past 37 weeks so I've only got 2 weeks or so to go unless my bp stabilises brilliantly, which is unlikely. If it doesn't stabilise at all they may deliver sooner, but baby is better off in just now and they will only deliver if I am significantly less well with her in. She would be fine born now, but better the longer she stays.
He also says they're happy to sterilise me while they're doing the section, but I have to be sure. I'm sure! Nobody has remotely queried the fact that I am to have a section so I feel a lot better about that decision. She doesn't actually seem to be breech today but I'm due a scan on Friday to confirm. Even with a section they prefer to know the lie of the baby.
Didn't sleep much through the night with monitoring and feeling guff, but I spent a good hour or three asleep this morning. Quite enjoying peace and quiet and having food brought to my bed, and I don't really feel well enough to be bored. I have my phone and my kindle, but I'd like my three boys here. The wee boys got a bit bored last night which made the big boy have to take them home after half an hour. I've discovered they are allowed in 2-8, not 3-4 and 7-8 like other visitors, and now I'm in a private room they can hopefully draw and let hubby stay a bit longer.
Baby isn't really co-operating when they try and do a trace of her heartbeat. She moves away from the pad, just like O did! He caused undue headaches during traces when I was at this stage with the boys, and his little sister is exactly the same. I now envisage her to be going to be exactly like he was as a baby. R was such a much easier baby, I was sort of hoping for another chilled baby. O is a delightful and more considerate child, so it's not a bad thing, plus we know what actually settled him so we know what to try.
She may not be like O on the outside, just because she's a wriggler. O will be delighted if she is though. Bless. She may be different from either twin, of course. Time will tell.
Friday, 26 August 2011
Peace
Ugh. Have spent most of the day in the recovery ward surrounded by dazed and confused new parents and crying newborns.
Now I am still in post natal, but I have my own room. Quiet at last. No tv though, they are moving to a new hospital in the new year so they haven't got new TVs or set top boxes for the old hospital. Boo. I shall have to use my data allowance heavily... I have 800Mb left this month, new allowance starts in 6 days. So should be ok to watch online tv a bit.
Blood pressure is still kinda high, which is why I'm still here. They are - obviously - not willing to give me the medication that made the pressure crash so much, but the one they're going with doesn't seem to be working. Until they can stabilise it, I'm to stay in. Yawwwn. Although I have to say I don't feel that well and it is therefore reassuring to be here and checked.
Things that can go wrong with high blood pressure:
They are on high alert for pre-eclampsia as that is v bad for pregnant mamas and if I show symptoms of that - protein in urine, floaters in vision, pain in chest - they will deliver baby.
High blood pressure in itself can lead to kidney problems and even placental abruption, so they definitely want to keep an eye on me, and ideally get me settled with regular pressure. Probably with medication if they can get the dose just right.
Oh, it is sooooo nice to be in a quiet room. I am shortly to get another bp check and then supper which I assume is tea and toast. Yum!
Happier now.
Now I am still in post natal, but I have my own room. Quiet at last. No tv though, they are moving to a new hospital in the new year so they haven't got new TVs or set top boxes for the old hospital. Boo. I shall have to use my data allowance heavily... I have 800Mb left this month, new allowance starts in 6 days. So should be ok to watch online tv a bit.
Blood pressure is still kinda high, which is why I'm still here. They are - obviously - not willing to give me the medication that made the pressure crash so much, but the one they're going with doesn't seem to be working. Until they can stabilise it, I'm to stay in. Yawwwn. Although I have to say I don't feel that well and it is therefore reassuring to be here and checked.
Things that can go wrong with high blood pressure:
They are on high alert for pre-eclampsia as that is v bad for pregnant mamas and if I show symptoms of that - protein in urine, floaters in vision, pain in chest - they will deliver baby.
High blood pressure in itself can lead to kidney problems and even placental abruption, so they definitely want to keep an eye on me, and ideally get me settled with regular pressure. Probably with medication if they can get the dose just right.
Oh, it is sooooo nice to be in a quiet room. I am shortly to get another bp check and then supper which I assume is tea and toast. Yum!
Happier now.
Pressure update
Happy joy joy.
First I was given medication to reduce the crazy blood pressure. That didn't work so I was given another type of medication. Shortly afterwards I started to feel rather odd, then I felt very very unwell and like I was going to pass out/die. My blood pressure was now incredibly low, alarms went off, a medical team was summoned and much flappage went on (was quite sure I may die). Turns out the nurse who gave me the second dose didn't realise I'd had the first so I was given a rapid response drug rather than a slow release one. So crazy high blood pressure went to insanely low blood pressure.
Much fluid was given by drip, I had oxygen for a bit with my bed dipped head downwards. Now, 5 hours later, I feel mildly human. I am to stay in at least for tonight, I sincerely hope just for tonight. Not least as for some reason I'm in the recovery ward, alongside lots of post-section people who want to witter on about the experience and whose babies cry a lot.
Baby is hunky dory I am pleased to say, she doesn't seem to be affected. Although since I moved through here they stopped checking her. Why am I not in ante natal?
Answer: no beds, I guess. Still annoying though.
First I was given medication to reduce the crazy blood pressure. That didn't work so I was given another type of medication. Shortly afterwards I started to feel rather odd, then I felt very very unwell and like I was going to pass out/die. My blood pressure was now incredibly low, alarms went off, a medical team was summoned and much flappage went on (was quite sure I may die). Turns out the nurse who gave me the second dose didn't realise I'd had the first so I was given a rapid response drug rather than a slow release one. So crazy high blood pressure went to insanely low blood pressure.
Much fluid was given by drip, I had oxygen for a bit with my bed dipped head downwards. Now, 5 hours later, I feel mildly human. I am to stay in at least for tonight, I sincerely hope just for tonight. Not least as for some reason I'm in the recovery ward, alongside lots of post-section people who want to witter on about the experience and whose babies cry a lot.
Baby is hunky dory I am pleased to say, she doesn't seem to be affected. Although since I moved through here they stopped checking her. Why am I not in ante natal?
Answer: no beds, I guess. Still annoying though.
Under pressure
Uh oh. Well, my routine appointment this morning confirmed a few things:
My blood pressure is crazy high, but I have no other worrying symptoms.
Baby is breech, so I've to be scanned next Friday (woo!!)
Section is now definite (double woo!)
I am being kept in hospital for monitoring, not sure how long this will be for, but at least overnight.
Not happy. I feel fine (although obviously I am relieved they are keeping an eye on me and baby) and it's a Right Pain to be stuck in here. I also stupidly didn't have any breakfast so I'm starving.
More later...
My blood pressure is crazy high, but I have no other worrying symptoms.
Baby is breech, so I've to be scanned next Friday (woo!!)
Section is now definite (double woo!)
I am being kept in hospital for monitoring, not sure how long this will be for, but at least overnight.
Not happy. I feel fine (although obviously I am relieved they are keeping an eye on me and baby) and it's a Right Pain to be stuck in here. I also stupidly didn't have any breakfast so I'm starving.
More later...
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Blinded by the screen (please)
Oh my. As my mind is made up that I want a caesarean section, and my overactive imagination/madness/heart rate monitoring has baby distinctively not head down - whatever the midwife says - I pondered as to how they get a baby out in a section if it's not head down. As I am now at the watch-all-birth-programmes-incessantly stage of pregnancy, I've seen footage of a fair few c-sections, which go as follows:
Cut through outer mother then inner uterus etc and tear membrane. Allow waters to gush out. Grab baby's head and tug until entire baby comes out. Stand by with sucker to clear airways. Snip cord, make sure baby is breathing and something a lot closer to pink than blue.
So, if head isn't first, which I actually have no reason whatsoever to presume (other than it would be useful for argument's sake if baby wasn't cephalic on Friday), what happens?
I did a silly thing to find out. I asked the Internet and found icky YouTube footage of caesarean delivery of transverse lying babies.
Yuk.
Most of the procedure is as above, except the bit where they ease the head out. If there isn't a head there, the surgeon appears to plunge his hand in, rummage around until he finds some part of baby, then tugs on that. Often the head will then be last out, and the baby is invariably more blue when this happens. It does not look nice, thank heavens for the screen that stops visibility to the mother - and father who is forbidden and unwilling to be at the action end.
I console myself that a) obstetricians tend to know what they're doing, b) both twins were breech so were probably head last, there was two sets of limbs etc to be tugged upon, and they were fine and c) there is no reason to think that baby isn't head first.
People do always say that c-sections feel like someone washing dishes inside you, so I guess there's always an element of rummaging. I so don't want to see it happening to me, it does not ever look reassuring. The commentary from the anaesthetist is far nicer.
Incidentally, the babies that come our the conventional route don't look any healthier or less blue and the mum looks considerably less healthy. I have not been put off.
I was asked today if I was hoping baby'd come early and naturally and I said no. But if she did, and it was quick, and therefore successful, then yes I do. What I don't want is an unsuccessful labour.
Baby's a go go this evening!! Whatever position she was in she sure isn't in it any more!
Cut through outer mother then inner uterus etc and tear membrane. Allow waters to gush out. Grab baby's head and tug until entire baby comes out. Stand by with sucker to clear airways. Snip cord, make sure baby is breathing and something a lot closer to pink than blue.
So, if head isn't first, which I actually have no reason whatsoever to presume (other than it would be useful for argument's sake if baby wasn't cephalic on Friday), what happens?
I did a silly thing to find out. I asked the Internet and found icky YouTube footage of caesarean delivery of transverse lying babies.
Yuk.
Most of the procedure is as above, except the bit where they ease the head out. If there isn't a head there, the surgeon appears to plunge his hand in, rummage around until he finds some part of baby, then tugs on that. Often the head will then be last out, and the baby is invariably more blue when this happens. It does not look nice, thank heavens for the screen that stops visibility to the mother - and father who is forbidden and unwilling to be at the action end.
I console myself that a) obstetricians tend to know what they're doing, b) both twins were breech so were probably head last, there was two sets of limbs etc to be tugged upon, and they were fine and c) there is no reason to think that baby isn't head first.
People do always say that c-sections feel like someone washing dishes inside you, so I guess there's always an element of rummaging. I so don't want to see it happening to me, it does not ever look reassuring. The commentary from the anaesthetist is far nicer.
Incidentally, the babies that come our the conventional route don't look any healthier or less blue and the mum looks considerably less healthy. I have not been put off.
I was asked today if I was hoping baby'd come early and naturally and I said no. But if she did, and it was quick, and therefore successful, then yes I do. What I don't want is an unsuccessful labour.
Baby's a go go this evening!! Whatever position she was in she sure isn't in it any more!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
To be consulted
Or am I doing the consulting? Dunno
I shall be having a consultation with my obstetric consultant on Friday, re: the birthing of baby.
Also included is this fortnight's ante natal check, so unless I suddenly start being muchly unwell and/or I swell up, I'll leave worrying about my BP till then.
And so to prepare for the consultant.
I would like my baby to be delivered by elective c-section for the following reasons:
The rate of successful VBAC is somewhere between 34% and 50% - depending what you read - which means at least 50% end in an emergency c-section. At nearly 37 years old, having never been in labour before (I only got as far as stage one of induction with the twins, and nothing began at all) my own chances of a successful VBAC would be less than this.
An emergency section carries the greatest risk to baby and me, as well as having the longest recovery time. The only sure method to avoid an emergency section is to have a planned one.
My pelvis limits labour options, but not as much as my previous c-section. I cannot be induced or helped along hormonally, nor should I have any form of assisted delivery as both of these increase the chance of uterine rupture or general distress on the part of mother or child. Additionally there are time restraints in a VBAC. The trial is abandoned and a section performed in a number of scenarios of an attempted VBAC. So, the chance of an emergency section is pretty damned high.
Reasons I won't be sharing with the consultant:
Supposedly female obstetricians and GPs have a much higher rate of repeat elective sections than the general population. They have the facts and that is the decision they take.
An entirely vacuous and not vote swinging reason, but I am happy with having a definite date to make arrangements around, and not being left to overcook.
With regards to a trial of labour, that involves, well, waiting, trying and a probable emergency section, having put my body through an unsuccessful labour. If I could know it would work, then yes, I would go for it, but statistically, I'd like to minimise the risk. Baby's health is far more important to me than my experience of being a complete woman etc etc. I do not fear pain or worry about saggy bits (although avoiding them would be nice, I am aware of the udder effect/recovery period from a section). I am not too posh to push, I am too prudent to persevere.
Doesn't quite have the same ring/dismissive tone to it though. Huh.
I shall be having a consultation with my obstetric consultant on Friday, re: the birthing of baby.
Also included is this fortnight's ante natal check, so unless I suddenly start being muchly unwell and/or I swell up, I'll leave worrying about my BP till then.
And so to prepare for the consultant.
I would like my baby to be delivered by elective c-section for the following reasons:
The rate of successful VBAC is somewhere between 34% and 50% - depending what you read - which means at least 50% end in an emergency c-section. At nearly 37 years old, having never been in labour before (I only got as far as stage one of induction with the twins, and nothing began at all) my own chances of a successful VBAC would be less than this.
An emergency section carries the greatest risk to baby and me, as well as having the longest recovery time. The only sure method to avoid an emergency section is to have a planned one.
My pelvis limits labour options, but not as much as my previous c-section. I cannot be induced or helped along hormonally, nor should I have any form of assisted delivery as both of these increase the chance of uterine rupture or general distress on the part of mother or child. Additionally there are time restraints in a VBAC. The trial is abandoned and a section performed in a number of scenarios of an attempted VBAC. So, the chance of an emergency section is pretty damned high.
Reasons I won't be sharing with the consultant:
Supposedly female obstetricians and GPs have a much higher rate of repeat elective sections than the general population. They have the facts and that is the decision they take.
An entirely vacuous and not vote swinging reason, but I am happy with having a definite date to make arrangements around, and not being left to overcook.
With regards to a trial of labour, that involves, well, waiting, trying and a probable emergency section, having put my body through an unsuccessful labour. If I could know it would work, then yes, I would go for it, but statistically, I'd like to minimise the risk. Baby's health is far more important to me than my experience of being a complete woman etc etc. I do not fear pain or worry about saggy bits (although avoiding them would be nice, I am aware of the udder effect/recovery period from a section). I am not too posh to push, I am too prudent to persevere.
Doesn't quite have the same ring/dismissive tone to it though. Huh.
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