Motherhood the second

Well, from my ponderations of pregnancy, a few things have transpired to be true and a few to be woefully inaccurate.

I got my section, no need to worry about whether or not I wanted one, it was taken as wanted, and as E was delivered at 36 weeks and I couldn't be induced having had a previous section, it would have to have been a section in the end regardless of prior arrangements.

No breastfeeding, although E did latch on and get some colostrum on day 3. I cannot now breastfeed as my blood pressure refused to calm down with breastmilk friendly drugs, so I am now on ones that are working, but which are not suitable for breastfeeding. Which is a shame when she'd had a shot, and she looks for it from me, but she is so small and in need of food she would have required at least some top ups anyway. My milk is now in, I am engorged and in pain, with entirely unappealing cabbage leaves in my bra (they do provide relief) and looking forward to "drying up".

One baby is infinitely easier than two. Way, way easier. E is a very chilled and contented baby, which helps, but still. Just one!!

E is a tiny baby, not jumbo as feared. She was just the right size for 36 weeks at birth, but that's tiny. Her skin is too big for her and she is teeny tiny pocket sized. Healthy, but minuscule. Everyone comments on her tininess, including me and her daddy. She is very cute though, and does, fingers crossed, seem very well.

And then there is me. I'm a bit broken. I have been scared shitless (sorry) about dying, and I feel very emotional. For no good reason I feel sad that I am not pregnant any more, I should be for another 2 or 3 weeks. The fact is I am not, I don't have to endure the lumbering discomfort of the last month of pregnancy, and the birth is behind me, with baby out, and healthy. So why do I feel bereft whenever I think back to being pregnant?

Answer: hormones. All out of whack. I am also very tired and need to take things sloowwwwly.

Bananas reduce blood pressure. Damned marvellous fruit so it is. I am self medicating (plus the official drugs) by eating more bananas and consuming less caffeine and salt. Something's working finally, my bp is that of a normal person with slightly raised bp. Not mental admit-to-hospital high like before.

Pelvis is normal! Like it never had a problem. I can walk again!

Neck still not sore.

Overall weight gain in pregnancy is currently 5lb and falling daily. Woohoo. It was all baby and baby fluids, not doughnuts. Joined weightwatchers online to avoid piling on post natal weight.

And that is where I'm at, 8 days after the birth of my daughter. I have a daughter you know.