Hunger

Hungry, hungry hungry. Baby and me.

E can't get enough to eat. She was sleeping well and coping with eating too much, for a while. But for the last few days: oh dear.

The problems are thus:
1) E is starving, so drinks milk too fast. Even slow teats don't slow her down.

I have bought to date 6 Avent, 5 Tommee Tippee, 2 NUK bottles, 8 Avent teats and 6 NUK teats, as well as 2 replacement sterilisers (gifted steriliser smelt odd)

Avent starter kit: £12
Avent replacement teats: £12
Tommee Tippee starter kit: £12
Avent Microwave steriliser: £10
NUK bottles: £10
NUK teats: £12
Tommee Tippee bottles: £9
Asda steriliser: £12
Avent teats: £4
Avent bottles: £7
Total cost: £100

At first the slow flow Avent or Tommee Tippee were too slow for E's tiny mouth, so we tried fast flow (should've tried in between but daddy was shopping). Fast flow too fast, tried NUK bottles. Brilliant, for a while, so we got NUK teats for Avent bottles. 2 weeks of greatness. E grew, the NUK were too gushy for a stronger sucker. We retried Tommee Tippee and hurrah! Slow flow perfect, more bottles bought, and a steriliser they fitted in as they are non standard size. Good for another 2 weeks, then the sucking defeated them. 10 minute feeds: too fast. Buildup of wind, sore tummy, more food demanded for sore tummy, sickness or crying follows.

I am now a bit demented. Avent slow flow are the current attempt to slow down/avoid wind. The Tommee Tippee make it impossible to feed sitting up, which is a suggested way to avoid wind. Avent work better. We started with them and much expense later are back with them.

And then there's the milk. We had an unsuccessful foray into Hipp Organic milk, which made E sick. £6.97 wasted on formula. We remain back with Aptamil, I need to seek advice on hungry baby or comfort milk.

I think the hunger is false and a mistaken attempt by E to alleviate stomach pain.

Sleep a problem, progressing from happily sleeping in cot rather than bouncy chair to not going to sleep anywhere that isn't a parent. I am exhausted. Gina Ford did not work, her advice on formula is very limited.

I need to stop eating and lose the post baby weight I'm gaining.

Boo to hunger, whatever the cause.

More sniffles, less sleep and being overly worried about safety

Sleep: what I should be doing as Miss E is currently asleep, but as her and I had an epic nap this afternoon, I'm not tired. Well, I'm kinda tired in that I basically have narcolepsy at the moment, but I'm not overly sleepy.

I don't really have narcolepsy, I just can fall asleep uncommonly easily anytime, anywhere. I do fear for E's safety sometimes because of this. As such, she is well accustomed to her cot, that being a "safe" place I can't drop or squash her in, and she will settle and sleep there. Result!!

Decision to return to Aptimil after toying with HiPP Organic. The HO seems grand, E takes more, but is sicky with it and that's not good. Aptimil stays down, even if she likes it less. She does seem unimpressed with milk per se, I think she'd wean tomorrow if she could.

Observation of her digestive functions lead me to the conclusion that she has now the digestive maturity of a brand new baby (I would be 40 weeks today, the official due date) so she will cope with weaning at 5 months at the earliest, 17 weeks from today. Ah well.

Neurosis made me purchase a Buggy Tug, a strap that goes round your wrist and the buggy so if you let go for any reason, the buggy doesn't escape. I heard they existed, I observed that the downwards sloping arcade we walk down each day to school has no barrier at the bottom and exists onto the High Street, I got paranoid, I bought one (£3 or similar). One of the school mums told me her buggy had escaped with her second son and only the quick reaction of another person saved him from going onto the road. Neurosis reassured.

I feel the narcolepsy striking...

Sleep and sniffles

Baby E is bunged up with a cold - again. Like mother like daughter, cold two in 4 weeks alive seems unfair. She is more stoical with this one, the last cold made her super grumpy, this one she is more cuddly and resigned.

The main problem with the cold is her inability to feed enough to sleep it off. We had just switched to Tommee Tippee bottles and Hipp Organic milk with apparent first day success, the the arrival of the snot rendered the Tommee Tippee redundant and NUK back on the menu. As to the milk, it seems ok but we have a little sick which could be the milk, her age or just mucus related.

And as if by magic, baby awakens for her next feed. Later...

Guilt

First guilt trip, I had a complete paddy today. Full on she's lost her mind tantrum. Oops. It was in reaction to an overreaction of something so utterly trivial combined with complete lack of sympathy to my pain. I shrieked, I cried, I slammed. I made my children cry at my noise. I am ashamed.

Second guilt trip. I am a bad advocate for mothering. I have twice commented on a blog this last week to a new mother. First to profess the joys of caesarean birth - not scary, not bed riding for a fortnight - and today to encourage the use of formula.

Really, I should be shot. My opinion, yay, but probably best not shared as it doesn't toe the natural party line.

To be fair on myself, my stance on both issues are not "they are better" but more "do not beat yourself up if they happen".

Purchases arrived today: 2 pairs of maternity pyjamas and a maternity vest top. Maternity wear makes the bump look much more advanced than oversized wear which drapes. Maternity wear clings. Comfy though and there's no exposed udders.

Pain level lessened by not leaving the house and so not walking more than the length of the hall. On most days this is not a practicable solution but on a day off it's a relief. If immensely frustrating. One of the most painful things I have done today, which I have needed to do approximately once an hour, is go to the toilet. It's not the going that hurts - thankfully - it's the sitting down on, and getting up from, the toilet that's tricky. Hence the bad mood.

It has cooled down again which means two things: I can shut the window and the tools haven't been drinking in the sun all day. So a peaceful night may ensue.

And as if by magic, a car alarm starts...