Birth Day - 2 sleeps to go

This time tomorrow I'll be not-going-to-sleep with the thought that I will get up the next day and have my baby girl.

Scary.

Today was a good day, although it doesn't feel good each day when I wake up and think, oh god, I am still in hospital.

Why was today good? I got to escape for a couple of hours to pop home (I was taken and returned by a kindly friend, I didn't remotely go under my own steam). Home is nice, I miss it, it was nice to see, even if my people weren't in it. I really miss my little family, this is the longest I've been away from them ever, I do see them each day but only fleetingly and it's hard. I hate speaking to them on the phone at breakfast time and not being there to help them get ready for school.

Being at home means I have what I would have packed myself in my hospital bag, including post partum things for me and baby. I now have my favourite maternity proof non maternity tops to ensure I survive the few days after birth. Baby clothes to be fetched to me by tomorrow/Birth Day.

I was pooped after my foray to the Outside World though, and my bp was sky high on returning to the ward, so I am satisfied that I should be here instead of home. And after all, it is only one more night after tonight until Birth Day.

My little ward room has four beds in it and mostly it is filled with temporary passing ladies, most of whom are in early labour. Some are having problems, one was in last night with severe morning sickness at 8 weeks, one is in tonight to have tests for clots at 26 weeks, and one other patient in here tonight has the same as me, high bp. She is 37 weeks and will probably be induced although she responded well to the drugs unlike my crazy blood.

The other patient was brought in at 11pm so I know nothing. This seems mean to move her so late but they are really, really busy. I attribute this to nine months having passed since everyone was snowed in for a whole week.

Nice people today. Nice visitors, nice staff, nice patients, nice family, nice friends. Nice doctor reassured concerns about impact of crazy bp on caesarean recovery. Nice. Feel calm.

Hubby has decided he prefers another name touted by me as a middle name. I still like the original choice, but it is a tiny bit twee, but new name isn't as pretty. We'll see, I think we have our name and middle name, we shall see which way she suits them when she appears in a matter of hours. 34 hours now. Gosh.

Hospital, day 4

I am sick of being in hospital, I don't feel so feeble and really want to be at home now.

Sadly, that isn't happening soon but as I have been better, I'm now out of my cosy private room and into a ward. Good because I am now permitted afternoon visits so I can see my boys, and also because they have things such as patient fetched coffee and a tv room. Bad because there are other people in it and they are noisy. At least these people are ante natal and don't have crying babies with them.

So. The prognosis. Due to the lack of any pre eclampsia symptoms and the bonkers blood pressure, they have decided that it is essential hypertension (that's high blood pressure) and is highlighted by pregnancy rather than caused by it. I'm not sure what implication this has on treatment, hospital stay or delivery, I have a lot of questions for the docs.

Meantime they are trying to establish a cause, blood pressure does not normally behave like this. First up they eliminate the nasty possibilities so I've got a 24 hour test to rule out the worst possibility (a type of tumour called a Pheochromocytoma) which is incredibly rare but serious so must be eliminated.

Based on that I will be here for another two nights minimum. Sigh. And assuming thats negative, I have no idea what happens next. Many questions.

Baby is still well. I am an emotional wreck.