Bust-a-myth

It's a funny business the whole having-a-baby one. Through both pregnancies I've been quite simply amazed by some beliefs/attitudes/plans with regards to childbirth.

Today I have been reading the importance of bonding. Pah!

Skin to skin bonding isn't all that possible with two babies, so when my twins were born, I got O to bond with, and Daddy got R. O didn't ever suckle - despite every effort to encourage him - so that didn't work, and from about 6 hours after birth, R screamed the hospital down if he looked up into any face that wasn't his mummy's. Until about the age of four and a half, R was through and through a mummy's boy. Sociable and friendly, but firmly fixed on me as his number one. O, on the other hand, was the opposite. Clingy when it was just us, but if there was another option, Daddy, Granny or one of his finite selection of approved people. He would go nuts if I went to take him out of the carseat if Daddy was there. That's the one who bonded with me.

A friend of mine had her baby under general anaesthetic, after a long and traumatic labour. She had no issues with bonding either.

I firmly believe that feelings of failure and disappointment are due to expectations and the bombardment of what-you-must-do. We are led to believe that a natural birth is better, although we are thankfully not brainwashed. We are told firmly that bonding and immediate suckling are essential. And we are genuinely brainwashed into believing breast is best, to the extent that mothers are loathe to even offer a top up of formula.

Leave us alone!

We want to survive, we want a healthy child. How we get there is NOT IMPORTANT.

Nothing's changed baby bump wise, I needs the odd rant

Still sitting (mostly)

I CAN'T WALK!!!

Ok, that's not true. I can, and with crutches it doesn't actually hurt. I feel a bit like the crutches are no good and I'm waving them about pointlessly, but the pain doesn't come and I can feel a lot of pressure in my arms, so I guess all that pressure isn't on my pelvis. There's certainly a big difference if I go from leaning on the crutches to not leaning on them; I can feel the pressure transfer through to my feet, obviously passing via the pelvis.

It's hard work though and I feel sooooo self conscious. And not being able to carry things is a pest. I had a jacket on today on the way to the school, which I removed and tied round my waist only to have it drop off seconds later. Picking up is not my forte at the moment so much grr-ing was required.

People are very sympathetic to me-with-crutches, which I find very embarrassing. Nope, there is no pleasing me. Lack of sympathy annoys; sympathy embarrasses. I know that people do care and the lack of attention is because I appear/claim to be capable, and I am aware of appearing very incapable. But it is nice how caring people actually are. In my ungrateful moments I think - but never say - "what do you think I've been on about the last couple of months???" when asked what I've done to myself. Pelvis no worky. I definitely mentioned it to, erm, everyone.

So. Other pregnancy things.

Gestation: 26+5
Movement: lots and lots
Other symptoms: indigestion, stingy boobies, a very large abdomen, and that is all.

The movements are amazing. I can't get enough of them. It makes me wonder in amazement that there is actually a human being inside there, that will soon be out and growing up and being a proper little person. From a few tiny cells inside of me, to a person.

I do feel quite astonished when I look at my huge five year olds and struggle to imagine how they ever were two foetuses side by side in my abdomen. And the whole thing just happens, because we copulated at the right times there are three new people. All I've done is not break them.

Shut up, pessimistic "yet".

3am

Never express views at 3am. It is currently 2.49 so unless I'm very brief, it's a mad one.

Freaked out. Very.

Issues on my mind:

We have to move house.
We can't get shot of this one.
We can't afford anything bigger.
It's the summer holidays on Friday; we have no garden, live on the second floor and I can't walk anywhere.
We need to move. By Friday.

I'm a big bit miffed that one - one! - of my friends/family/acquaintances has offered to help or visit. Thanks guys!

I'm sure I'm not that neglectful?

Oh look. Paddy over and it's only 5 to. Semi coherence is possible.

Crutched

Well, I've got crutches now. And I have to say, they help a LOT. I even slower than I was without them, and there's the obvious downside of not being able to carry anything - something I forgot to consider when taking my maternity notes and a tiny handbag. My rucksack will have to be my handbag in case of needing to carry anything.

The physio asked how I was when moving my legs to the side. For the last few days it has been very painful, if I'm sitting and I let my leg flop to the side, it hurts. Legs must point straight forwards at all times, or the pelvis objects.

Based on this, the physio reckons a c-section would probably be best, as I would be very limited in positions to labour in. This pleases me. For one, I feel less like a section is a cop out for every additional reason I have. Plus, I would guess a consultant would be less likely to try and talk me round to a VBAC if pain is a consideration.

I shortly have to go to the school to collect the boys. I am really apprehensive about going with crutches. Having had to walk a fair way back to the car at the hospital, I know that they will make the walking part less arduous, but I feel incredibly self conscious.

I do also feel that I should be used as a caution to young girls. What with my twins and my crutches I feel I make a far more effective deterrent than a crying baby doll.

Sticks of apprehension

Today is the day that I get crutches. I have never used crutches in my life, other than "having a shot" when other people have broken a leg/foot/ankle.

My state of mind is a confused one, for a change. Conflicting thoughts of "oh my God, I'm going to be rubbish at this, and I'll be embarrassed and useless" with "I will actually be able to walk more than ten yards*, woohoo, I can more or less function as (semi) normal" mean I'm excited and scared all at the same time. Mostly scared, which is the primary sentiment for most pregnancy related emotions.

*Yes, yards, it's imperial for distance. Blame convention, not my education.


More later, when I am encrutched...

A new worry

So last week I saw the hygienist. Due to shortness of her working hours and two cancellations on my part (once as I was unwell, and once as O was home ill from school) I have been waiting to see her since December. And I saw her last week, to be told I have gum disease. I'm a bit narked as I would have had it treated long since.

I'm not sure if it has advanced to periodontal disease, I think she said it had, but that is Not Good.

This morning a crown which has been happily in situ for about 15 years just fell out. So I thought I'd look further into the causes of dental rubbishness during pregnancy.

Studies have indicated the bacteria can pass to the foetus and cause harm. There is one - just one - Daily Mail et al reported case of a stillbirth caused by the bacteria. More credible recent studies indicate there is not necessarily any link between gum disease and risk to the foetus, but there is a lot of literature to suggest there is. The link supposedly is to preterm delivery and low birthweight; the latter applying to full term babies as well as pre term.

I do know better than to ask Dr Google anything. The stillbirth is only reported in sources renowned for dubious "facts". The link is reported on general scaremongering sites.

The hygienist indicated no need for concern, other than a desire to stop the receding gums in their tracks. The gums are being treated, and I am now borderline OCD about dental hygiene.

I'm sure it'll be fine. But - yikes - something else to freak out about.

Sloth

I spent the entire day doing nothing today. 8-9 am I was involved in getting the boys ready for school. Back to bed until 12.30, then got up, had lunch, stared at the TV and did the school run via Lidl.

Lidl is my new favourite shop, you can park at the door.

Despite, or perhaps due to, lack of movement, the 200 yard walk from car to school was almost beyond me. Slow doesn't begin to describe it and I had to stop and take a deep breath to get past an ouchie moment more than once.

It occurred to me today: I can't carry a thing when walking with crutches. How's that going to work? I do curse the fact that we live on the second floor, although probably not as much as I am thankful that we are all on one level. When I'm in, I'm in.

Other than the PGP, all is well. No mad twitchy legs, indigestion is manageable, baby moves lots and is clearly growing well. Inactivity does sit well with me, and it's so much more likely that I'll eat healthy non stomach upsetting food when I have to make it at home. I clearly need to carve myself an at home career.

Did I ever promise interesting posts? No, I did not.

Bedrest or something approximating this

I am now signed off work for the duration. My signed off period ends the day that I am due to come off on leave. So no work till next summer.

Physio called me today, I am advised to try not moving where possible, and I've to go on Monday and collect crutches.

I feel a bit useless. No, I feel a lot useless. The whole thought of the summer holidays, followed by the school run in my latter weeks of pregnancy, followed by a new baby to care for is making me feel completely overwhelmed. And so I'm being psychotic, natch. I cried at the doctor today mostly because I was so relieved to see it was my own doctor.

I am measuring 3 weeks ahead of what I should be. A part of my brain knows that this is irrelevant and is due to overstretching by twins and general lack of shapeliness, but another part is thinking maybe, just maybe, she is further on and will arrive earlier, fully cooked and healthy. 37 weeks would be nice, assuming she's all done and well. That's 10 September or so. That's less time to hobble about.

I am placing great faith in the crutches and their ability to aid me to walk. I am envisaging happy summer managing-to-make-it-across-park outings. I am however a little apprehensive about the fact that I'll need to learn how to walk with crutches. I collect them at 12 on Monday; at 3 on Monday I have to collect the kids from school. If anyone laughs I'll probably cry at them.

Baby has been more restful today, lack of caffeine perhaps. Still enough movement to alleviate concerns (plus inevitable heartbeat checks) so it's ok.

So tired. So sore. So inactive.

Self pity

I'm going to vent as nearly nobody reads this and so I don't get offended when nobody says anything.

Right.

Pelvic pain is unbearable. No work today. Called physio, was told that I could go to a class on Monday but they had no appointments for two weeks. I pointed out I basically can't walk and so I got told that I will get a call when they have an appointment. Whenever that is.

Today's huge amount of activity consisted of collecting the boys from school, driving to asda and waddling round to get some birthday cards and cakes.

NB Cakes for me. I need cakes.

Result: absolutely broken. When I say I can't walk, I obviously can actually walk, it just hurts too much and the more I walk, the more it hurts.

I'm so fed up, and I'm back to feeling very sorry for myself. How are you? I'm sore. Oh.

No, I need more sympathy than that. I'm more or less stuck in the house and I'm struggling to deal with the twins and their need to be transported, have a functional adult, be fed etc. What worries me most is how to get through the summer holidays without them being bored stupid.

I would like to go to work for the last couple of weeks. I would, i feel really bad about not going. But the walking hurts too much that I couldn't sit at my desk when I got there. I don't know how to get signed off either, that usually has to be done by a doctor and I doubt they'd see me when it's a midwife thing. I'll throw myself at their mercy tomorrow.

I kind of want a bit of fussing. I know. I know. Hubby is being ace, he's doing a lot of chores and he is taking the boys to school every morning, but he's not a fusser. I need regular fussing over.

Pout. Boo. Hormonal spoiltness.

Be pleased about baby.
Be pleased about lovely hubby.
Be pleased about enforced houseboundness in time of dissertation finishing.
Don't expect too much of other people.

Done now.

Immobility and getting maudlin

Oh dear. Moving is becoming more and more difficult. I couldn't face walking to work today after another more or less sleepless night, so I didn't go. Pain in my pelvis - front and back - made even sitting sore today.

I had a visit to the midwife today, all is well with baby and mother aside from the pelvis. BP is fine, urine is clear, heartbeat of baby is present and normal. Next visit they check my blood for haemoglobin and glucose and what not, as I'll be into trimester 3 and all set for gestational diabetes, anaemia and elevated BP.

The midwife (my own assigned midwife, who I like) was very sympathetic about my pelvis and gave me the contact number for the obstetric physio and a reflexologist. On the latter, I am sceptical about such things but it won't do any harm, isn't taking any herby tinctures and to be honest I'm prepared to give anything a shot it if helps. I am also advised to try aqua natal or generally being in a pool. Walking not swimming though, so the boys and I may spend some time at the pool during the summer holidays.

I'm not entirely sure my spouse, friends, other relatives and especially my colleagues are all that impressed - or sympathetic - about how feeble I'm being. I shall not dwell on this as I'm teetering on the brink of feeling very sorry for myself. Again.

So I'll watch my jiggling tummy for a while and remind myself what it's all about. If that fails I'll look at pink baby clothes and Disney princess films.

Miracle baby

I'm not entirely sure pregnancy is ever touted as a cure for maladies but this baby has so far cured my various ailments. It does remain to be seen whether the recovery persists when the baby has been born, but to date the baby, or the hormones connected to her existence, have "fixed" the following:

1) my whiplash. In April 2009 I was in a minor car accident that resulted in persistent severe pain in my neck. As little as two weeks prior to knowing I was pregnant, I was unable to reduce my maximum dose of tramadol at all. Movement in my neck was limited through pain. On discovering I was pregnant, I tried to wean myself off the drugs. I didn't take one until I needed one, until I noticed I hadn't taken one all day. Or the next. Or the next. And still my neck is like it was before. Normal. It gets a little achey on occasion but no more than that. I can assume it was ligament related and the relaxin has loosened the tautness caused by the accident and allowed the ligaments to return to normal.

2) vegetarianism. In the last three years I started off a fully signed up carnivore, then a complete non-meat eater (I am loathe to say vegetarian for fear of being lynched as I did eat jelly babies). I then returned to eating poultry and so that remained until I was pregnant. I don't eat fish partially for ethical reasons (I have to remind myself that smoked salmon and scallops are fish) but now I am enjoying red meat again.

3) I had some sort of skanky nail thing which resulted in a couple of my fingernails almost entirely falling off. I had a paint on solution that I was to apply for the nine months it takes to regrow an entire nail. Or, apply for a couple of months then stop applying in case of detrimental effect on baby and lo and behold, full nails a month later.

I am trusting fully that none of the above will return post partum in light of departing hormones. I am also trusting that the pelvis will return to normal fairly swiftly and that such things as bending will be possible again. And I should be, like, normal. Woo.

Once I've recovered from the birth and my pelvis returns to form that is. 2012 will be the year of good health and no debilitating conditions. It will.

While still dealing with the pregnancy induced pain, my parents brought me a "helpful hand" grabber which is ace. I think I'd be utterly depressed if I needed one permanently, but for convenience and just a couple of months, it's kinda useful.

Baby still v active, I amused myself for a while earlier by placing a small stuffed lizard on my bump and watching it twitch in time with kicks. I love that, I could interact with a kicky bump all day.

Return to work dependent on sleep. No napping all day should at least provide tiredness. Indigestion could provide wakefulness. We'll see. If I can't make it to work I think I'll have to get signed off properly. I don't really want to do that, but if I can't cope, I can't cope.

Day off

Last night proved to be virtually sleep free. Indigestion and sore legs were the culprits last night but the resulting lack of sleep mean I am fit for nothing this morning. So I have dispatched chiddlers to school and their daddy to work (kindly daddy drops the boys off each day to save me walking) and I am now back in bed. And STILL sleep eludes me. Sigh.

Baby unfortunately seems to think it's time for breakfast, she is doing the hunger stampede so I'll maybe transfer to flaking out in a chair instead. And eating some cereal, as the churning baby is making me feel a little queasy.

I do have a hygienist appointment booked for this afternoon and I intend to go as this is an appointment rescheduled from December. Being pregnant means my gums REALLY need attention and if I cancel, I'll be lucky if I see her before baby arrives. I am hoping a morning of rest will restore me and there is only a teeny amount of walking required, unlike going to work.

All right baby girl!! I shall feed us!! No worries as to her wellness today anyway...

That was banal. Sorry. I'm too tired to be interesting.

Grumpy superiority

Hmph. I'm in a grumpy mood so I'm going to ponder about the strangeness of others.

Today's lack of understanding applies to what people mean by natural birth. To me, a natural birth is one that is non-surgical. In other words, the baby comes out of the birth canal and is delivered naturally.

To everyone else, a natural birth means one whereby no medical intervention is present at all. No drugs, no forceps/ventouse. I'm guessing no induction or hormone drips to aid labour either. Not sure. I think gas and air are permitted for "natural" but I don't think anything else is. A membrane sweep might also be considered natural, but it does count as a smidgums of intervention so perhaps not.

With regards to the all-natural birth, the definition is largely irrelevant, but the attitude does seem to colour a lot of women's attitude. To fail to achieve the natural birth, whether it's been due to needing an epidural, or whether it's having a caesarean, is seen by some as failing somehow. Some caesarean mothers want to "experience" the natural birth in future pregnancies.

Je ne comprends pas.

As far as I am concerned there are two desirable outcomes: healthy child and healthy mother. The experience is a means to an end and isn't something in itself. It's not a very pleasant experience however it happens, with the exception of the moment you meet your child. Risk minimisation should be the prime consideration, whether drugs are used is entirely moot.

My decision to go for a second caesarean is based on one thing: I consider the risks of an emergency section to be too high and an elective section is the only sure way to ensure an emergency section is avoided. As an older mum with no prior labour and caesarean scarring, the risks are unreasonably high in case of a very likely emergency section.

Obviously I want to avoid surgery, I don't care about pain because when it's over, it's over. All I do care about is the safety of my child, and myself, and an elective section is the best way to ensure both.

The experience thing is idiotic. That is the same school of thought as people who cannot separate "wedding" from "marriage". As I said, it's a means to an end, not an experience in itself.

That's not to say all mothers to be shouldn't arm themselves with all the tools that they think will help them give birth. As long as they accept that relaxation techniques do not supersede (I'd spell that with a c, autocorrect won't allow??) medical necessity, and that their experience and happy memories are secondary to safety.

Pain and Luncheoning

Lunch out for a second time in as many days!! What luxury!

A nasty moment this morning when it was suggested that bananas should be avoided in pregnancy.

What???!!!!$**^|!?

But it is ok. They are good. They are recommended, they are indeed a pregnancy superfood. Phew! I bought a bunch to celebrate, being as I was down to the last banana in the house.

I am told I am more pleasant in this pregnancy than my previous one. I don't entirely agree, I don't seem to be being very pleasant, but I was in a good mood today, at least in part because of having lunch with my friends two days in a row. Also lunchtime equals awakeness and I quite probably subjected my poor friends to evening grumpiness before. Who knows? I am feeling mellow and contented right now, which is nice.

I should be happy today anyway, it is the happiest day of the year, according to some boffinery. Although there's some logic about summer weather and holiday plans, neither of which apply here.

I do have impending maternity leave in THREE WEEKS. Well, five weeks, but I finish work 3 weeks today. Wooo!

Due to bad planning, I got a lift to the school in a two seater car, so we had to walk back. I cannot now do that one mile walk at all, it was almost unbearably sore. I'm almost at the point of not being able to walk anywhere. Yikes. At least I am vindicated in my decision to drive the one mile each day, something I am normally opposed to.

The boys have been given a DVD to watch and a DS to play so I can lie in a warm bath, which is about the only sure way to alleviate the pain.

Warm?? Ha. It's fairly hot or it would be pointless. My logic in this piece of advice ignoring is that I never have baths so hot that my temperature rises, nor so that my skin goes pink. Hot tubs are a no-no as they maintain the temperature whereas as regular bath cools fast enough to be safe for pregnant mommas.

And I had baths all the way through with the twins and everyone *knows* if you survive something one time it is therefore safe.

I like baths, I do. Not least because baby is very active in the bath, and has been since very early weeks. Which I am told is not possible but I know what I felt and it was at the same time I feel definite kicks. She's a wriggly un all right, so it's possible. I like seeing my belly undulate with baby jiving.

The weather did somewhat defeat me today. Glorious sunshine first thing meant I got dressed in a summer maxi dress and sandals, because the dress doesn't go with the other one pair of shoes I can wear just now. Checking of the weather report - after dressing - revealed that it was to rain all day. Now, getting dressed is no mean feat these days so changing was not an option. Instead I looked utterly insane with aforementioned attire, plus a raincoat and brolly. Itty bitty sandals not good for rain, floaty dress bit odd with coat.

Well, if you're not allowed to look a bit mad when you're pregnant...

All hail bananas!

No more mad leg!! Bananas save the day!

Well, one banana, but I fully intend to keep up the banana intake, I hadn't had so many after the nausea faded.

Pelvis is poor to failing, walking is extraordinarily sore. Today I had lunch with a friend and apparently sitting still for that amount of time is detrimental to pained pelvises. Ouchie central when we left the restaurant and the pain has only been alleviated by sitting very still on my cushioned seat with a cushioned footstool. And a co-codamol which I understand is ok to take sparingly until trimester 3. So here's hoping the pain has gone by next week! Err...

Movement from within the uterus is good today. My comfy cushioned chair can rock a bit and if I rock, I get super enthusiastic kicks. Whether they are kicks of enjoyment or "hey mama, quit with the turbulence" I'm not sure. It's kinda cool though.

So tired. Sleep is proving elusive and there's a new element of waking up far too early.

If I can blame baby for the wakefulness, she's on schedule to be wide awake at 10pm, 2am and 6am, which does at least miss out 3am or 4am - the hours at which it is most difficult to be awake.

4pm isn't proving so easy today, I'm going to have to sign off now...

Leg of dissent

My leg has gone mad. One of the muscles just above my left knee has been twitching madly all day. I'm not unduly alarmed (slightly too aware of my own mortality at present to be completely calm about anything) as it isn't sore/swollen/veiny but it is rather disturbing. Googlage reveals that muscle twitching is relatively common in pregnancy. Many (loony) hits suggest it's an electrolyte deficiency and so recommend a variety of untested dubious tinctures that haven't been accepted by the medical profession. Sorry, I think the accepted term there is "alternative medicine". Herbal maybe, or homeopathic if you don't really care for correct nomenclature. Or as I said, untested. (I'm not a fan).

What I am prepare to do is eat a banana in an attempt to boost potassium.

*pause for banana getting*

I do like bananas, and they are proving to be a pregnancy wonderfood. I previously found them to be wondrous in their anti nausea ability. Now they provide an simple non-healthfood-shop source of potassium. And they're yummy.

Leg is still twitching. It would seem it takes more than a minute to reach my muscles. Pah!

I have now finished the breastfeeding book by Clare Byam-Cook. I liked it, I am convinced that I want to go for a little bit of breastfeeding, I am also convinced I am not exclusively breastfeeding until 12 months. Nuh uh. I did subscribe to Practical Parenting, my pregnancy magazine du choix, and elected to get a free breast pump. So the intention is there.

The book was good, but I have to agree with the reviews that say its old fashioned. While I agree with some of her views, they aren't quite the party line with regard to weaning and formula preparation, amongst other things. On some things I applaud her sense however, but it is not the most up to date tome. For tips on breastfeeding it is a goldmine, so I recommend it for that alone.

Kaz Cooke's Rough Guide to Babies and Toddlers is both no nonsense and full of up to date advice.

Today I was delighted to receive Christine Hill's "A perfect start". So far, so excellent. "The not-so-perfect parents survival guide" it claims. That's me!

My leg is starting to be sore. I may phone someone in the morning just to check it's normal with regard to blood pressure and being very very old.

Pelvis not good today, walking was particularly difficult and pain was definitely increased. This may have contributed to the mad leg. Don't know.

Footwork

Well, as was always likely, after a concerning lack of movement, baby has been a go-go pretty much all day. No worries there!

Pain excessive today, I think it may be connected to footwear. Not that I was wearing silly shoes, they were summer low wedges and normally very comfortable, but I wore a similar heel (different shoes) a couple of weeks ago and found I was worse that day also. So I appear to be set to spend the rest of my pregnancy in my everyday shoes, which are essentially leather crocs. Great with trousers, not so great with skirts. So it's them or my faithful sandals which are two strips of leather on a comfy flat base: only used for proper hot days. Flat seems to be the clue, so I might go mad and spend £10 or so on a pair of little flat canvas shoes.

This sorta thing:










That particular pair are £12. I might go the extra £2.

This made me laugh a lot today:

crazy baby shower cakes

Fear and loathing in the bath

Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!

I'm very cross today. With everything. Nothing has happened to annoy me, more that I am annoyed at things. Most of them.

People mostly.

Baby moved a lot less than usual today which naturally caused a mild panic. And a mild psychotic moment when I expressed concern and was told if I was actually concerned I wouldn't say "I'm concerned".

Heartbeat is normal. Movement in response to prods and music is normal. There's just less tummy jiggling than normal. So I worry. A little. Not enough to do anything. Just a little.

And then I get cross again.

I've had a day of nasty heartburn and an unnecessary number of occasions where I have had to bend down to the floor. I can't do this, or I shouldn't. If I drop something on the floor, which happens often due to being sleep deprived and dozy, I instinctively stoop to pick it up. And it hurts a lot. If I want to get something off the floor I have to do elaborate moves to get there, because if I just duck down the way I have done forever, it hurts. So if I want my shoes from the floor beside the bed, I have to lie on the bed and lean off. But if I drop something, I'm down there and cursing before I remember. Squatting is absolutely not going to happen, I'd be stuck in a permasquat for the rest of time.

I'm not sure how the clutter is going to clear itself off the floor, although I did manage to declutter the boys' room by sitting down on the floor and shuffling around.

So the list of things I can't really do are:

Stay awake, unless it's bedtime
Walk more than 100 yards
Bend over
Lie on my back, front or right side
Lift anything

I've got 15 weeks to go. Aieeeee.

Shudduppayourface

Words people should never use to a pregnant lady:

Plump
Swell (which requires a silly emphasis)
Large
Big
You're going to have your hands full!
Goodness!!

People should also avoid criticism, advice, anecdotes, pity, expectation and pretty much any form of interaction.

The weather is generally safe. Stick with the weather.

Taste the difference

There is lots and lots written about babies' tastes and the profound changes a mother can inflict. Much learned from observing rats, incidentally.

If you were to believe all that is written, the following are true:

1) babies "learn" flavours from the amniotic fluid, therefore they will have a fondness towards that which the mother enjoys during pregnancy.

2) flavours must be introduced during the weaning process.

I beg to differ.

My twins, obviously, shared the same amniotic fluid. I ate a very limited diet during my pregnancy with them as I couldn't eat much. I drank gallons of milk and ate a lot of cheese. I ate pasta with tomato sauces, and a lot of fruit. I didn't like sweet things at all.

At weaning, I introduced new foods to both of them at the same time. If both babies didn't eat a food, I would amend it for both of them. For example, Rob wasn't keen on broccoli or other veg, so I combined them with pear, which he did like, and both babies got the mixture. They ate the same thing at each and every meal until they were able to pick out items they didn't like. For them, this was quite old.

Based on this they should have the exact same tastes.

Nuh uh.

R loves cheese and fruit. He doesn't like vegetables of virtually any description. He adores ham and has an extraordinarily sweet tooth. He doesn't like pasta much and he loathes tomatoes in any form other than ketchup.

O likes nothing more than salad. He will eat tomatoes and cucumber in favour of most things. He loves vegetables, he is particularly fond of mange tout. He would eat pasta with tomato sauce every night for tea. He isn't hugely keen on cheese and can take or leave milk. He can't stand ham and likes sweet things fine enough, but not as much as kids usually do.

Not the same at all. What they do share is more or less the tastes of their parents. R likes what daddy does, and O likes what mummy does. This is not because they have copied, they still don't eat with us for logistical reasons, and daddy has not been involved in weaning or very much feeding - I am in charge of food.

I can therefore conclude on the evidence of my limited study that the evidence from rats and conjecture is bull and that tastes are largely genetic.

Which does give a lot of credence to baby led weaning. The main argument against the premise of giving the baby a selection of foods is that they will not try all the foods but will go for the ones they know they like. If this can't be changed, then how brilliant to let them choose and decide from an early age.

I shall have to read up on it, the whole concept of baby-led weaning goes against the weaning principles of 5/6 years ago. I fear a wee mashed banana may figure before 6 months however which is the recommended (puree free) time for baby led weaning. I liked my purees!

We'll see, I've got more reading to do first.