9 months of reading fodder

I am reading my favourite pregnancy book again, having unearthed it in a decluttering session (nesting?). It is The Rough Guide to Pregnancy by Kaz Cooke and I think it is marvellous. It doesn't presume loads of cash, nor does it promote natural birth et al as the be all and end all of parenthood. My copy is a bit out of date with regards to maternity rights and what not as it is the 2001 edition, purchased a good two years before I ever attempted to become pregnant. Broody, moi? There is another updated edition from 2010 which I would wholeheartedly recommend.

This is informative and down to earth, as well as being an amusingly good read. It has a semi-fictional (names/backstories are fictional) diary throughout which reads like that of a normal girl, unlike the nauseating "Emma's diary" which mostly beggars disbelief that someone so wholesome managed to become impregnated in the first place.

For checking symptoms and alleviating concerns, there is no better than the oft mentioned What to Expect When You're Expecting. Any worry or curious symptom, it's in here, along with reassuring statistics as to the unlikelihood of any complication arising. There is an iPhone app that accompanies the book which is probably the best of the free apps for pregnancy, but it's a bit lacking in comparison to the book.

For straight facts, the Pregnancy Bible is invaluable, full of photos of stages and things that are of much fascination to a first time mother and much less so apparently to a second timer (a fact corroborated by other mums).

I have many other books but those are the "key" texts. Most of the others are woefully old fashioned (hello Miriam Stoppard), terrifying in their negativity or guilt inducing with their strong opinions on what is "best".

I have Netmums' "Your Pregnancy" out from the library and while useful, it expresses such statements as "If you decide, as some mums do, that's there's no way you want to breastfeed, or if you're in the tiny minority of mums for whom it's an impossibility (because of prior breast surgery, for example), then bottle-feeding will give your baby all the nutrients and calories he needs to thrive as long as you follow the the formula manufacturer's instruction to the letter and are scrupulous about hygiene".

Because clearly, if you are neglectful enough to "choose" not to breastfeed, you're obviously a bit slovenly about the whole thing. Breastfeeding mothers who express aren't reminded about hygiene. Nuff said.

Also "much as you probably hope and imagine you won't be one of the mums that ends up having a Caeserean delivery..."

You get the picture. I don't feel the need to be judged by a book.

I have the Mumsnet (I don't know the difference, no) guide on Kindle - oh how much easier to read without a bulky book to accommodate in my discomfort - and I found it more palatable but not really groundbreaking. If you have a kindle though, gets yourself this one. Other ones I've read on kindle have been rather HIDEOUS and wayyyyy too American. No offence to Americans in any way, but the whole pregnancy experience appears to be a different thing altogether, from the constant cervical prodding and 8 week dating scan to the very nature of US medical goings on. Issues such as "do you pay $800 dollars for an epidural?" are kind of alien.

I've definitely touched on books before. My memory isn't what it was and I've read a lot more since I mentioned it earlier on. Or maybe I just thought it before. I dunno, I don't REMEMBER things. I'm PREGNANT!!

Much later I'll think about baby user guides. I need new ones this time, obviously. I have Kaz Cooke's Kidwrangling, which is ace, but missing, and she's subsequently written (2009) the Rough Guide to Babies and Toddlers - an updated version of Kidwrangling I believe - so that's on the way. Come on, I resisted the updated version of the pregnancy one, I'm doing well! I'm a big fan of Rough Guides, I used to consult them in the (preparenthood) days when we had passports and travelled abroad.

Local holiday today, no school run, no work. Sooooo much better.

Insanity

This may turn out to be an extra one, because it is that time of day where worry, sore tummy and nausea* prevent sleep.

(*and the morning spent asleep)

Stupid stupid worry, I worry that I'm going to worry a problem into existence.

I have conflicting worries, which make less than sense:

Worry one: that I experience a missed miscarriage/blighted ovum and there's nothing there when I get a scan in 200 years time.
(actually in between 5 and 8 weeks, but time goes so very slooooowwwwly when you're pregnant)

Worry two: that it's twins.

Illogical, huh? One extreme or t'other.

I may have mentioned both, I forget. I forget most things actually, as the pregnancy progresses, the more repetitive these entries will be.

The evidence would suggest an entirely normal singleton pregnancy. Tell that to my paranoid brain.

I WANT A SCAN!!!!!!! The fact that nothing would show up yet is irrelevant. It's not that long to wait and as long as I feel diabolical and nothing falls out - it's ok.

Bedtime reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Again.

Happy statistic:
Chance of miscarriage having not had one and having had a previously live birth is 5%. Even if I'd never had a previous pregnancy, the rate for age 35-38 is 18%.

Worry is a silly thing, it wouldn't make it easier if the worst happened. Shush shush silly brain. Enjoy the, err, something pleasant about this stage...

Incidentally, chance of second and subsequent set of fraternal twins is 1 in 300.

Worry be gone!

We still don't have any boys names and it's 15 weeks till we find out about that one.

The smell of fatigue

An uneventful day so far. I decided I was not fit for work (pretty much decided before I left work yesterday) so went straight back to bed when I got back from taking the boys to school. And sleep...

Why is sleeping so much easier when it's daytime? We're designed to sleep at night, but that's hard. My brain has this little switch that activates when it understands that bedtime has occurred. This makes it go into "dooooo stuffff. Wakey wakey, dontcha need to visit the bathroom? Ooh remember those things you wondered about? Now would be a great time to look them up!" mode.

But I defeated it today. Ha. I went through the gargantuan effort of making and eating lunch (can still eat, this is good) which has been the sole achievement of today. Logic: may resemble human being later and be useful then.

Reading stuff mostly leads to paranoia. Everything can be bad /ominous if you read enough. Do not read stuff! Or if you must, read What to Expect When You're Expecting, because it is nice and reassuring.

I'm adding to this, it is now bedtime and I feel compelled to add for future reference that the nausea is never far away. It hides when I do no exertion whatsoever and am exposed to no smells of any strong type at all.

Surprisingly, the smells that are getting me most are perfumes. For no good reason I put on some Poison the other day and nearly fainted from the smell, I had to wash my neck. I do normally like Poison (not as much as when I was 12 but it was a kind gift still). The bathroom aisle in Asda had me near enough hurling this evening. Hubby suggested he might make kedgeree for the boys, saying as how I don't eat fish, and seemed surprised to be informed his wife would have to be out of the house for a week or so afterwards. Obvious smells have the nausea at peak, the ones a hangover can't deal with - fish, cooking smells generally and any conventionally rank smells. I already mentioned cigarette smoke. Ugh, and I can say that as a non smoker of nearly 2 weeks now.

I must have a wee rant about smoking sometime.

I am however going wild for Body Shop White Musk, which I have never really noticed before, and I've definitely had some and put it down to generically pleasant. Now it is ambrosia for the nose, and I don't mean it smells like rice pudding.

I don't think I'm going to work tomorrow, but I fear I may have to reveal the source of my malaise upon my return. I have the doctors who I may freak out with my list of worries. Ho hum.

I must point out: I was quite useful later. I walked up to school, reading that a walk and some fresh air is good for nausea. Is it ***k, but I survived (just). The boys and I did a fair amount of clearing - they did toys and I did trash - so we rewarded ourselves with easter eggs, which the boys didn't get on account of being very naughty while fetching them. And I changed the bed, by which I mean I stripped the bed, dug out clean covers then asked hubby to finish. Which he did - a DEFINITE perk of pregnancy. He did the dishwasher too.

Tomorrow, when I'm in a good(er) mood I may discuss intolerance.

Miserable

I am totally stuffed with the cold.
I feel constantly sick. I feel ok when I'm eating, then feel sicker.
My chest is inflating by the second, and it feels like it's being attacked with knives.
Waist is expanding rapidly.

I have lots of groovy books to read. The stage whereby nothing matters if is not to do with My Baby has arrived, although I do manage to cope with my existing babies. They are very excited, and may be of help as they will be nearly six when baby/babies arrive. One of the books is entitled "Pregnancy in Older Mums" as I have come across the "over 35" label a bit too often already. Paranoia central! It is a miracle, it seems, that I am alive at all, never mind the fact that hubby's decrepit sperm managed to impregnate my shrivelled egg. Such decayed beginnings could only lead to a broken child. That book is going back to the library pronto. I did get the companion to my precious Pregnancy Bible; a Pregnancy Bible for a Second Pregnancy. Woot! I was so attached to the original I lugged it all the way to Amsterdam and back. That is currently missing (the book, not Amsterdam), a full on search is required. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" alleviated the panic from the older mum book.

I feel very large. This may be due to constant eating for three days, or it may be due to excess children on board. I am definitely less tired than last time, which suggests it isn't twins, but I am starting to feel every other symptom just as keenly as last time. Who knows. 7 weeks or so till I find out.